Infidelity is more complicated than people may realize. Many people assume falling out of love with a spouse is the most common reason for someone to have an affair.
However, people cheat for a variety of reasons and marriage can survive a period of infidelity. The relationship between partners is complicated but fundamentally, it is built on love, trust, and forgiveness.
Asked will my husband ever forgive me for cheating? illustrates a desire to change and move forward, a crucial step in repairing a painful act. Here are some reasons why a partner would be more inclined to forgive infidelity.
1. He knows you still love him
People usually get married out of love and despite cheating behaviors, that love could still be there. If there is a possibility of retrieving the affection previously apparent in the relationship, your husband may feel like that is something worth fighting for. It may be difficult for your husband to make sense of the infidelity and whilst he may forgive, he will probably not forget.
2. You are truly sorry
Cheating in relationships often has deeper roots than just being bored of each other or losing feelings for someone. Your partner may sense that you are in pain and truly sorry for your behavior. He may realize other circumstances have led you to this point and the infidelity was a huge mistake.
3. There are children involved
If a man and wife have children in the relationship or from separate relationships. Your husband may want to make sure the relationship survives to prevent the children from experiencing any disruptions particularly for children who may be approaching exam season or have additional needs.
Your partner may want to go back to a better place in the relationship and rebuild from there to protect them from experiencing negative situations. He may be more inclined to salvage the relationship and forgive any cheating behavior for them. He may also be aware of the custody challenges a broken marriage can face and want to protect the children from experiencing them.
4. Saving a relationship
Asking will my husband forgive me for cheating may not be the only question a cheating spouse will ask and instead address the question of; how can I receive forgiveness?
Infidelity takes time to heal, you may want to talk to him about why you want to save the marriage. Your partner will need to feel reassured about your commitment to him and understand the cheating. He will want to be assured that you still care for him and the relationship still has a foundation to build on.
5. Accepting responsibility
The worst thing many people may do is blame the cheating on the other person, further undermining the trust and authenticity of a relationship.
Without full accountability, your husband may feel that he still cannot trust you from cheating again in the future or he may feel that you are not truly sorry for your mistake.
Once someone has been hurt by a cheating partner, the feeling of hurt does not dissipate easily. Your husband may need constant reassurance and more apparent signs that you still care for him and value your relationship.
6. Exploring marriage counseling
You may want to consider marriage counseling to explore the difficulties in your relationship and the reason behind the cheating. Sitting down and talking through your issues may sustain your relationship and guide it onto a path so that one day, it may be as strong or stronger than before the cheating.
Professional help through marriage counseling will allow a third person to act as a mediator or a channel for communication in the event of a communicative breakdown. Many people continue to attend professional marriage counseling even after they have chosen to forgive each other as a support to maintain their relationship.
7. Understanding his feelings
Understanding your husband may be prone to outbursts and strong feelings even after he has chosen to forgive you, will continue to show your understanding and your remorse over your actions. You may question; will my husband ever forgive me for cheating?
An infidelity is a painful act that will take a lot of time to heal from and he will not be able to forget your actions easily and quickly. Your husband may readily accuse you of cheating again and fear future acts of infidelity.
Professional marriage experts state it can take between one to two years to forgive a cheating spouse but statistically around 57% will forgive the cheating and move forward in their relationships.
Time of forgiveness may depend on the circumstances around the infidelity and the events that took place afterward. Religious or matrimonial factors may also be considered when working on forgiveness in a relationship.
Admitting a mistake can be a very difficult thing for anyone to do and especially to the person who has been hurt by the act. Whether or not a person will admit to cheating will entirely depend on their circumstances and the reasons behind the cheating.
According to surveys, 91% of people believe infidelity to be a mortal sin and one of the most immoral things a person can do. This can lead people to feel afraid to admit their wrongdoing. He or she may feel deeply ashamed of their infidelity and unable to admit to their mistakes.
Cheating on someone who cares for you is a significant act of betrayal, to other people it may seem like you do not have feelings for the person or you do not care for them enough. However, many people still commit infidelity and still love their spouses.
Infidelity is not an action that can be easily resolved or studied. A person may have attachment difficulties or feel led to another person because of a lack of intimacy or distance from their partner. A person can still have love in their heart for someone but it may be buried under other issues.
Will my husband ever forgive me for cheating? Is a common question many people ask after acts of betrayal. Forgiveness is a huge task and can take an incredible amount of inner strength and grace to forgive someone who has hurt you but that does not mean they won’t forgive you.
If someone is truly repentant of their mistakes, forgiveness may come more easily but it will not diminish the hurt someone has experienced especially if the person who has hurt you is someone that you trust and care about.
A spouse who has betrayed their partner through infidelity will often on some level have a guilty conscience. They may act out of character or become guarded with their privacy and technology such as when they close the sidebar when a partner walks in or change passwords on their phones.
A guilty spouse may also accuse you before you can accuse them to convince themselves that you are committing the same behaviors and relieve their own self-guilt.
A guilty spouse may suddenly shower you with attention. He may talk to you more often or buy you expensive gifts. If they are feeling guilty they may try to compensate and act as the perfect partner to ease their own conscience or continue to hide their cheating behaviors.
A partner may also display acts of affection through intimacy and time within the bedroom. They may suddenly be more interested in engaging with sexual behaviors and trying to overcompensate for their wrongdoing outside of the bedroom. This can also lead to medical implications if they engage in sexual relations with more than one person, increasing the risk for sexually transmitted infections.
Infidelity can have an irreversible impact on a relationship. However, it does not mean that relationships cannot be saved. Relationships require work from both parties and both parties will make mistakes.
In cases of infidelity, the desire to change and feeling remorseful are the two first steps to repairing the damage done to a matrimonial bond. Experts in relationship counseling are useful resources to access to prevent or repair hurt caused by infidelity. Other sources such as religious leaders, like a priest or therapists can also provide additional support.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.