If you are wondering why second marriages fail, I have good news; this blog post will examine eleven possible reasons why second marriages just don’t make it. We often think about marriage as a lasting, committed relationship, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way, regardless of how much we wish it were true!
Often, the divorce rate is higher for second marriages because the individuals have already been through divorces in the past. They may find it easier to get through – the second time around. That’s just one possible reason for divorce – it’s an easy way to get out of a relationship that you are not happy in. However, there are plenty of other reasons this happens!
In this blog post, we will explore the various reasons why second marriages fail and what to do if you find yourself getting into a second marriage and are thinking about divorce. There may be better options out there for you! Let’s explore the topic further!
- 1 Why Second Marriage Fail (Top Reasons)
- 1.1 1.Divorce didn’t seem like as big of a deal the second time around
- 1.2 2.Problems occur because one person didn’t get closure from their last relationship
- 1.3 3.Marital expectations were higher this time around
- 1.4 4.The reason for one person’s first divorce did not change
- 1.5 5.Couples did not marry for the right reasons
- 1.6 6.Some couples had to see their exes all the time because of shared custody of their children
- 1.7 7.The kids did not approve of the new step-parent
- 1.8 8.The couple just got married because they were scared of being alone
- 1.9 9.The children brought the two partners together but grew up
- 1.10 10.The couple rushed into getting married
- 1.11 11.Families and money issues were just too much to handle
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottom line
Why Second Marriage Fail (Top Reasons)
1.Divorce didn’t seem like as big of a deal the second time around
Divorce can seem like a huge deal for a new relationship when you are madly in love and expect to be together forever! However, what we don’t know in a new relationship is how our new partner is going to be in the long run. Maybe your new spouse has uncontrollable kids or emotional issues that need to be resolved.
So, what can you do? The best thing for you to do is to consider going to premarital or couples counseling before you say the words, “I do.” A trained therapist can help you see the importance of the decision you are about to make and how it will affect you and your children.
2.Problems occur because one person didn’t get closure from their last relationship
Often, one partner never got closure from their past relationships and is still carrying with them the emotional scars they got from those relationships. There may have been hurt feelings that just have not healed properly. Make sure before you get into a serious relationship that you and yours have the right closure from your previous relationships.
3.Marital expectations were higher this time around
Even if you are planning a remarriage with your first partner, you probably have different expectations. You want more out of the relationship than you had before. You not only expect the marriage to last longer, but you expect your level of happiness to be greater.
This happiness may be impaired if there are problems with communication or other concerns. Make sure your beliefs on marriage are realistic, or you will set yourself up for failure from the beginning. How do you expect your new spouse to interact with your kids? What are the beliefs of your future spouse on marriage and divorce?
4.The reason for one person’s first divorce did not change
Allow me to best explain this point. If you went through a divorce because you had issues with commitment or children and you have not changed, what is the chance that this marriage will result in failure? If you haven’t done anything differently this time, your results will likely be the same as the first time you were married, right?
Before you commit to a new marriage, make sure you are the best version of yourself that you can be. Consider working on self-improvement once you’ve analyzed the reasons that your first marriage resulted in failure. After all, you do want to be the best spouse you can be in your new marriage, don’t you?
5.Couples did not marry for the right reasons
We often see a new relationship with rose-tinted glasses, meaning that we see what we want to see; we don’t see all of the flaws that are truly there. Our happiness often is a result of what we put into a marriage, not what we expect to get out of it.
In reality, you cannot expect to be in successful marriages without some level of communication regarding what you expect to get out of these relationships. Talk to your partner about what you both expect marriages to be like, so you can both see success.
When children are involved, things can get quite complicated, and often, divorce lurks around the corner. Marriages with children must think about the happiness of the entire family, and families are most successful when they work together to achieve goals. Work with a family counselor to resolve any outstanding issues regarding your children.
7.The kids did not approve of the new step-parent
Marriages with kids can often have difficulties because the new children do not get along with the new parent. In situations like this, the best result is found if the marriages involve the children in decisions. Work with a family therapist – someone who knows about marriages with children and how to best find success.
8.The couple just got married because they were scared of being alone
It’s nice to be in the same boat with another person; you get to share the rowing duties. The same holds true in a marriage; it’s great to have a partner, but divorce often comes up when the couple didn’t have anything in common in the beginning. Before you decide to get married again, get to know your partner very well. Really take the time to bond!
9.The children brought the two partners together but grew up
If the two of you were only together because of the children, you might find it hard to stay married over time. You should spend time communicating with one another to determine the future of your relationship. What do you have in common? What hobbies can you share? How can you grow old together and be happy at the same time?
10.The couple rushed into getting married
It’s generally not a good idea to rush into marriage without getting to know someone very well. Divorce often comes into play when people don’t really know each other and have decided to try to bond together for life. You can’t expect someone to mold into the person you want them to be without a little give and take.
Make sure you have the right intentions when you get married again. Don’t just rush because you want to be with someone forever. Your partner may not have the same ideas on marriage as you. He or she may think that marriage is what you do, provided the two of you are happy. Not all marriages are that way.
Often, we must make compromises, and this doesn't always entail our happiness. Sometimes, we sacrifice happiness for love. Over time, we are happy in a new way because our lives have been changed in ways we did not expect. You can work out these issues with someone before you marry them. Talk it over in detail.
11.Families and money issues were just too much to handle
When we marry someone, we marry their entire family, whether we like it or not. If you have family or money issues, you may find it good to speak to a financial advisor before getting married. A marriage counselor can help you if you are having issues remaining faithful to your partner, but a financial advisor can help you create a budget.
If you do not have your financial matters straightened out before you get married, you may see divorce on the horizon, as money is one of the biggest causes of divorce. Meet with a qualified professional to help you sort out your issues and work together to find the best results so that you can see marital success on the horizon instead!
Remember, too, that there are many benefits to seeing a religious advisor or qualified family or couples counselor. They are able to best help you communicate with one another and find out if the two of you have what you need to see marital success! Don’t shy away from getting the premarital help you need to sort through your problems.
Second marriages have a tendency to not last as long because divorce has already been seen once before by the individual in the marriage or the couple itself. Once you’ve done it, it’s just easier the second stretch. Divorce doesn’t seem like as big of a deal.
It really depends on the couple; some marriages last until one or both parties are deceased. Other marriages just last a couple of months before the divorce is brought up. I knew a guy who was married for only three months! You can’t even wrap up wedding details that fast!
Typically, a new marriage is better because you have learned a lot from your first marriage. In your second marriage, hopefully, you don’t repeat the mistakes you made the first time around. With a new partner, you can do things in a new way.
Usually, in the first year, all of the kinks of marriage are being worked out. Does he annoy you half to death, or can you stand each other when you are both at home on the weekends? Some people say in year seven, you see the most cases of divorce.
It depends on the couple and whether love was involved in the affair. If a man and woman truly love each other, they may decide to wed to cement that love. It all depends on the feelings that they share. It’s not the best start for marriage, though.
The Bottom line
Have you gone through a divorce more than once? What was your reason for divorce in your second marriage? Are you currently having problems with your new marriage? Relationships are tough! Hang in there, and you can find success! We’d love to hear from you. Please comment, and share this!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.