Has the guy you are seeing stopped texting you back for no apparent reason. Is the time between dates just getting longer and longer? Here are some reasons why he might be ignoring you.
There aren’t many things more hurtful than being ignored, especially if you are being ignored by a guy you really like. It can make you feel worried and anxious. It can damage your self-esteem and make you feel down. It is not easy to accept this sort of uncertainty and can cause panic in many women.
Are you unable to sleep at night because you are asking yourself why he is ignoring you? Are you wondering why it seems as if he doesn’t care about you, even though you let him in and opened up to him? Are you annoyed that he can’t even be bothered to reply to you?
Are you wondering why he would even ignore you? There are many possible reasons to explain why he may be ignoring you.
- 1 Why Is He Ignoring Me?
- 1.0.1 1. He’s playing games.
- 1.0.2 2. He’s trying to punish you.
- 1.0.3 3. He’s just busy.
- 1.0.4 4. He needs space.
- 1.0.5 5. He’s with other people.
- 1.0.6 6. He’s trying to end things with you.
- 1.0.7 7. He’s not that into you.
- 1.0.8 8. You said something that upset him.
- 1.0.9 9. You did something.
- 1.0.10 10. He is having a bad day.
- 1.0.11 11. He is confused.
- 1.0.12 12. You upset him.
- 1.0.13 13. He doesn’t like one of your friends.
- 1.0.14 14. He heard a rumor.
- 1.0.15 15. He’s ignoring you because of his family’s opinion.
- 1.0.16 16. He’s hiding something.
- 1.0.17 17. He’s ignoring you because of his friends.
- 1.0.18 18. He doesn’t like how you dress.
- 1.0.19 19. He’s annoyed at you after a night out.
- 1.0.20 20. He’s shy.
- 1.0.21 21. He’s embarrassed.
- 1.0.22 22. He’s ignoring you because he is scared.
- 1.0.23 23. He is seeing someone else.
- 1.0.24 24. He doesn’t think he is good enough.
- 1.0.25 25. You’re too different.
- 1.0.26 26. He loves you.
- 1.1 What To Do When He Ignores You?
- 1.1.1 Talk to him.
- 1.1.2 Communicate in another manner.
- 1.1.3 Find out how he feels.
- 1.1.4 Be vulnerable.
- 1.1.5 Be assertive with him.
- 1.1.6 Don’t call and text too often.
- 1.1.7 Be patient.
- 1.1.8 Remember that it’s probably not about you.
- 1.1.9 Don’t act needy.
- 1.1.10 Think about whether this is what you really want.
- 1.1.11 Work on yourself.
- 1.2 Ultimately,
Why Is He Ignoring Me?
1. He’s playing games.
If you have only been seeing each other for a while and he has started ignoring you. He may be playing mind games with and playing hard to get. This is a power play and he is trying to gain control. This may be in an effort to boost his own ego. He wants you to be uncertain, to wonder why he is not replying in order to make sure that you jump when he does text you.
It will be a relief to you when you do hear from him and you may become more invested in the relationship as a result. However, this type of behavior is selfish and unfair, you should not have to put up with it in any relationship. If he really likes you, he won’t play games. Why would he want to make you feel like that if he did really care?
2. He’s trying to punish you.
He may be ignoring you on purpose in an attempt to punish you, in order for you to feel pain. Maybe he is trying to get revenge if you ignored him in the past. If you have just had an argument he may be ignoring your text messages until things have calmed down. This may be especially true if he doesn’t like conflict or is not good at arguments.
However, even if you have just had an argument, being ignored while you are annoyed is even more frustrating. This is not a healthy way to sort out any issues that you may be having. Strong relationships have communication at their foundation. If he is not willing to talk to you to resolve problems and continues to ignore you, then you need to think if he is right for you.
3. He’s just busy.
If this is the case, although it might just sound like an excuse, he might actually just be busy. If you are texting him during the middle of the day, he might be at work. If you know that he is going to the gym straight after work, he may not have time to text you back straight away.
It is not normal for someone to reply every minute of every day. If he has a busy life then it is normal if he sometimes takes a while to respond. If he is a very present person this is especially true, if he finds it hard to multi-task he may not be able to focus on what he is doing and text you at the same time. This simple explanation may explain what is going on.
If this is causing issues then you need to talk to him about it and what you can expect from him. Now you will be less worried if he doesn’t text you back immediately and you will know if he is just busy or if he is actually ignoring you.
4. He needs space.
Even if you are completely in love and have the perfect relationship, it is important to have space from each other sometimes. He may not be used to being in a relationship and constantly having someone around. Especially if he has had a busy day, he might just need some time to relax and is avoiding taking his stress out on you.
This depends on every single person. Some guys need more space in a relationship than others. Try to figure out what kind of guy he is. If he is an introvert he may need even more time alone to rejuvenate and relax. If he is an extroverted guy that is never alone then he may require less alone time.
If you figure this out about him, it will be easier to then decide: “is he is ignoring me?”
5. He’s with other people.
Some guys may be on their phones all of the time, even if they are around other people. However, if the guy you are seeing is spending time with his friends or family, he may not be able to reply so as not to be rude and spend quality time with them. This is a positive trait about him, he really cares about the people closest to him.
If he is like this when he is with his family and friends, he will likely give you the same attention when is alone with you too. However, if he is always on his phone when you are together, but never replies when he is with other people, something else may be going on and you may need to talk to him.
6. He’s trying to end things with you.
This may be hard to accept. It is always better to break up with someone in person. However, in reality, some people may not have the courage to do it in person and may just disappear from their lives rather than ending the relationship properly.
If you believe that he is trying to distance himself from you and is making excuses as to why he can’t see you, then he may be ignoring you because he wants to break up with you, rather than doing it properly. He may be hoping that you in time get sick of being ignored and just break up with him yourself. Either that or you stop trying and the relationship just ceases to exist.
This probably the worst way to break up with someone. But know that if this did happen with this guy, then you likely deserve someone better than him anyway!
7. He’s not that into you.
In reality, if a guy likes you, he will make sure that you know he does. This may be hard to accept. You may be fooling yourself into thinking that he is just busy or just isn’t very good at texting, and this explains why he is ignoring you. But if he doesn’t make you a priority and makes no effort with you, does he really deserve you?
If he really likes you, there is no reason for him to ignore you, especially not at the start of your relationship. If he is still playing games, he may not be mature enough to be in a relationship with you anyway. Or he is just not that interested in you.
8. You said something that upset him.
Perhaps he is ignoring you because of what you said to him. Maybe you were in the middle of an argument and you accidentally said something that you didn’t mean that really upset him. Maybe he isn’t even telling you exactly what it was that you said that is upsetting him. Instead of telling you, he is ignoring you.
Maybe you keep thinking about all the conversations you’ve had trying to figure it out but you still don’t know what it was that you said to upset him so much. This can be very hard to accept if everything was going so well in your relationship before but now he is ignoring all of your calls and your text messages.
However, it is important not to blame yourself for this. He is not acting maturely and is being selfish. You may even be better without someone like this. Stop worrying about him and forget about him. You don’t deserve to be treated by him in this way. You deserve more than to have to walk on eggshells and worry about everything that you say.
9. You did something.
Maybe your partner is ignoring you because of something small that you did to upset him. Now he is ignoring you. You need to know that your boyfriend is over-exaggerating in this situation and you may need to move on from him. If you have really done something wrong, then perhaps he just needs a little time.
However, if what you did was really trivial, you do not deserve to be treated in this way by this man. You will never be happy if he ignores you every time you argue or you act in a way that upsets him. It is not a fair or mature way to solve the situation.
Think carefully about this situation and whether this man is right for you. You do not deserve to have every single one of your actions analyzed and to be ignored if you put a foot wrong. If he doesn’t deserve you, then walk away, there are better guys out there who won’t treat you in this immature way.
10. He is having a bad day.
Everybody has bad days every now and again. Perhaps your boyfriend is ignoring you because he is having a really bad day. However, even if he is having an awful day, you don’t deserve to be ignored because of it. He should understand that he is upsetting you by acting in this way. Your partner should be able to tell you how he is feeling and not just ignore you.
He should be able to tell you straight away what he is feeling and what his thoughts are. He shouldn’t need to just ignore you because he is having a bad day. Perhaps he hasn’t shown this vulnerable side to you yet. If this is the case, tell him that you want to let him and in to be able to look after him if he is feeling this way.
He may really like you but is worried about how you will react to him if he lets you in on this side of him. It is not nice to accept that he is ignoring you rather than being honest and vulnerable with you so that you can help to make him feel better. Just give him time to come around and hopefully, he will be able to open up to you in the future.
11. He is confused.
The guy that you are seeing may be ignoring you because his mind is full of conflicting thoughts and he can’t figure out how he is feeling about you. Maybe he is extremely happy with you and your relationship, he enjoys being with you but still, he is full of conflicting emotions.
Perhaps he decided to get into a relationship quickly and now is feeling confused. He may want to figure out what he is feeling in his mind about the fact that he is now in a committed relationship with someone. Maybe he sees how much you put into the relationship and is finding it difficult to show as much commitment.
He may be sure in his mind that he likes you and he knows that you feel the same way, but he has conflicting and worried feelings about the future. Stepping into a committed relationship can be a big deal for some, and it may take him time to figure out his feelings.
However, it is not nice that your partner has chosen to ignore you because his mind is confused. It is not easy that he hasn’t chosen to talk to you about the situation. Maybe he is reluctant to tell you about his feelings because he is worried about how you will react if he tells you.
You may just need to give him some time to sort out his feelings and to figure out the reason why he is feeling this way.
12. You upset him.
Your boyfriend may be ignoring you because you upset him in some way. He may believe that this is the correct way to act in this situation. However, it is hard that your partner has decided to deal with the situation in this way because you have no way to fix it. He will probably may himself feel worse by ignoring you longer than he needs to.
Maybe you want to apologize and tell him that you are sorry, but the problem is, he won’t let you because you are ignoring him. Perhaps you didn’t realize that the comments that you made would affect him like this. Maybe you meant them as a joke and he took it the wrong way. You might just have to give him time and hope he will appear soon.
When you hear from him, you will be able to tell him that you didn’t mean what you said and you can sort out the problem.
13. He doesn’t like one of your friends.
Maybe one of your friends is jealous of your new relationship. Maybe she wants what you have. She may be trying to put your boyfriend off you on purpose because she is selfish and doesn’t want you to be happy in your relationship with this guy. Maybe you have not realized it until now that she is not the person that you thought she was.
This is a difficult situation to be in, because you may have no idea why your boyfriend is suddenly ignoring you. Hopefully, you will find out somehow what this friend is actually like and everything will work out okay.
14. He heard a rumor.
Perhaps your boyfriend is ignoring you because he recently heard a rumor going around about you. Maybe you were both really in love but then he heard a rumor about you from someone and he is now ignoring you.
15. He’s ignoring you because of his family’s opinion.
Maybe his parents have expressed negative opinions about you that may explain why he is ignoring you.
16. He’s hiding something.
If your boyfriend is ignoring you for no apparent reason, it may be because he is hiding a secret from you. Everything was going great in your love life with him until he started ignoring your text messages. At the start of the relationship, he may not have told you everything about his past, but up to now, he has given you no reason to worry or have doubts about him.
You have no idea why he is ignoring you. Maybe it will help if you ask his friends if they know why he is ignoring you. Hopefully, someone will be able to tell you the reason why he is ignoring you and they will be able to explain what is going on with this guy.
Maybe he has a secret about his past that he didn’t tell you about, it might be something that he is really embarrassed about and would rather ignore you than face the situation.
If he really cares about you, he will contact you soon enough. He will realize that he misses you and that he is better off in telling you the real reason why he ignored you rather than losing you. If he does open up to you about something in his past, it is up to you if you decide to forgive him. But he has opened up to you and been vulnerable with you.
The fact that he has opened up to you means you have created trust and a bond that was not there before he shared this secret with you. Perhaps now you can move forward from the past and move on in your relationship with this guy that you love.
17. He’s ignoring you because of his friends.
Before you met this guy, his friends were probably one of the most important things in his life. Before you came into his life, he probably spent all of his time with his friends. They played football, went to the pub and met girls. They had fun together and enjoyed their freedom together.
Then this guy met you and fell in love with you. He is completely happy and in love with you. However, his friends may see it differently and may believe that they have lost their friend. He is no longer available at any time of day to play football or go to the pub, he may be on a date with you instead. His friends may resent you for causing this.
Maybe none of his friends are dating anyone and they want it to go back to how it used to be. His friends may have even told you how they feel about you. This may be one of the reasons he is ignoring your calls.
You need to speak to both your guy and his friends in order to sort out this situation. He can be with the woman he loves and still has time for his friends at the same time. Be understanding because this may be difficult for him.
18. He doesn’t like how you dress.
Maybe he is ignoring you because of how you dressed when you went out the other night. When someone ignores you, for this reason, it means they are trying to control you. If he is ignoring you because you wore something that he didn’t like, he is being manipulative and is trying to control you. If this is the case you need to walk away from this guy.
No women deserve to be treated by guys in this way and should put up with this behavior from a guy.
19. He’s annoyed at you after a night out.
Maybe you went out the other night with your guy, maybe you drank too much and made a bit of a fool of yourself. He may be ignoring you because of this, you might just have to give him some time. He knows that sometimes you drink too much when you are out and you find it difficult to remember you limit when it comes to alcohol.
However, just because this is what you are normally like does not mean that this experience is very easy for him. Maybe he hates when others laugh at you if you fall on the ground. This guy may adore you and hate for you to be embarrassed when you are drunk. Maybe he is the one that is always there for you when you are drunk too.
He might have simply had enough of your ways when you are out and this is why he is ignoring you. He said nothing to you but now he won’t answer his phone or reply to your messages. There is nothing that you can do in this case but apologize and tell him you will change.
20. He’s shy.
One thing that may explain to him ignoring you is his shy personality. His heart may be for you but his shyness overcomes him sometimes. Maybe you even love this guy. He is not a loud, excitable guy but a quiet and caring kind of person.
This might make it even more confusing when he ignores you because he is usually such a kind guy at heart. Maybe you haven’t even done anything wrong but the answer is simply that he is embarrassed about his shy personality. He may believe that is he not good enough as a person for you and may think that you would be better off with another guy.
Maybe you need to let him know how much you love this side of him. He will likely not make the first move if he is a shy person at heart. Tell him that he is actually the perfect guy for you.
21. He’s embarrassed.
In some cases, your guy might be ignoring you because he is embarrassed about something. Maybe he is unsure of himself and is embarrassed about this. Some guys don’t like to talk about how they are feeling. Maybe he hasn’t dated many women and is embarrassed about that. Maybe this guy really likes you and is worried he’s not good enough.
If this is the case you need to let this guy know that you really like him, ask him to open up and talk to you about things. Hopefully, if you are able to show him how much you care for him, he will open up to you and tell you the thing that is worrying him about his love life.
If your guy is feeling in this way you need to be understanding and caring. This may even strengthen your bond and your relationship in the long run.
22. He’s ignoring you because he is scared.
Some guys may get scared of commitment and of getting too close to a woman and therefore then decide to ignore them. No matter how perfect your relationship seems, if this guy fears commitment and getting to close to each other then it is never going to work. He may have issues to do with letting someone into his life.
This may explain why he is ignoring you, he is scared of getting too close to you and he is unsure of how to handle this new stage in his life. This is a difficult position to be put in. If he tells you that he needs space because he feels as if you are too close to him it may make you worry that he is not sure if he actually wants you in his life at all.
Maybe he is scared of the love he has for you and he has never felt this way about someone in his life before. He may know that he shouldn’t be acting in this way and that he is upsetting you. He might be too scared to commit to being with you for the rest of his life.
You might need to give him time to think and to figure out what he is feeling. If he keeps ignoring you, then it may be time to walk away from him as it is clear that he is not ready for anything serious and long-term with someone. Do not be too sad, you deserved better anyway.
23. He is seeing someone else.
He may be ignoring you because he is seeing someone else. If he is seeing another woman and he is ignoring you, you deserve better than this guy. Maybe you were suspicious before about him being unfaithful and it has been confirmed for you.
He doesn’t deserve you anyway.
24. He doesn’t think he is good enough.
He may be ignoring you because he thinks that you are too good for him and he isn’t good enough for you.
25. You’re too different.
He may be ignoring you because he thinks you are incompatible because you are too different.
26. He loves you.
This guy might be ignoring you because he loves you. If he is ignoring you then this is one of the signs that he loves you and he has scared himself. Maybe he hasn’t felt like this about someone before and doesn’t know how to deal with these thoughts.
He might be scared of the pain and hurt he would experience in the future if things didn’t work out between you. This may explain in part your questions about why he is ignoring you. He might be scared of the idea of something serious and long-term with a girl. He may not be able to get his head around the idea of committing to someone for life.
If he is scared about committing and is having worried thoughts about the future, don’t let him ignore you, talk to him and try and help him feel better so that you can move on together.
What To Do When He Ignores You?
Talk to him.
When someone ignores you, you need to try and talk to them about it. If your guy has seemed distant lately you need to ask him why this is. Ask him why he hasn’t been calling and texting you as often as he used to. If someone is ignoring you, you need to ask then what is really going on.
Try not to ask them in a defensive or angry manner as this may make him close up to you even more. Ask him carefully in a manner that gives him a chance to explain his ways.
Communicate in another manner.
If he is not replying to your text messages, maybe you need to find another form of communication. Maybe he was having a busy day and he forgets to reply to the text you sent him because he got distracted. It may seem like he is ignoring you when he is actually just busy and easily distracted by his thoughts.
Try and call him after work instead of texting him throughout the day. Find out what time he is free to respond and call him then. If he responds at a later time you know that he wasn’t ignoring you in the first place.
Find out how he feels.
If you are seeing a guy that has become really distant with you and nothing seems to work, maybe you need to have an honest conversation with him about what is going on and whether it is working or not. Maybe he has realized that he is no longer happy but is scared of confrontation and of the idea of breaking up with you.
If you have noticed these signs the guy you are seeing may longer be happy and needs to end things with you but doesn’t know-how. You might need to give him the opportunity to talk to you honestly, and if he doesn’t see it going anywhere he needs to tell you.
Despite the fact that you may want to act chilled around him so you don’t seem too invested, he might take this as one of the signs that you are not interested in him. He may be doing the same kind of thing to you because he is scared of getting hurt.
If you enjoyed your recent date with him, tell him that. These comments may make this guy more at ease. He might even answer by telling you that he felt the same and he had fun with you too.
If he feels the same it may be time for you both to be vulnerable and to open up to each other. In these cases, it may just take time for you both to feel comfortable. If he doesn’t feel the same as you then this is one of the signs that you should let this guy go and move on from this part of your life. There are other guys out there.
Be assertive with him.
Make sure you are assertive from the start with him. If you have questions, are worried about a certain thing, or want an answer from this guy, then make that clear. Tell him the fact that you don’t want to have to play games with this guy. The guy may answer by telling you that he appreciates a woman that is straight forward.
Don’t call and text too often.
If he doesn’t call and text you loads, for a valid reason, then don’t answer this by calling and texting him too much. If you look like you are begging him for an answer he may see this as a thing that makes you seem insecure and needy.
If he cares he will respond to your messages and questions eventually. He will show interest if he really likes you. If he doesn’t, it is probably time to walk away from this person before he breaks your heart.
If he takes a while to respond then be patient. Keep yourself busy and don’t worry about him all of the time. See your friends, enjoy your hobbies and keep yourself occupied.
Remember that it’s probably not about you.
Don’t jump to assumptions before you really know what is actually going on in his head. This is especially true if you haven’t been seeing this guy for that long. Ensure that you have all of the facts before you start blaming yourself. It is so easy with a new guy, to jump to conclusions and misunderstand what is going on with this guy.
Don’t assume what is going on in his head, as you can’t really know what he is thinking if he is ignoring you. Perhaps he has things in his past that he is embarrassed or ashamed about. This may make him anxious to get close to someone new, or maybe there is something in his past that he doesn’t want to tell you just yet.
Perhaps he has recently broken up with someone and he is scared to commit to someone new. This could explain why he is ignoring you. Maybe he is stressed about work or his family or other things that are going on in his life. This may explain why he is ignoring you if he has less time to text you back.
He may be really interested in you but perhaps he is insecure or shy. He might need space to build up the courage to commit to you. If he really likes you he will talk to you eventually. Whatever the reason for him ignoring you, you need to give him time to figure out what it is that he wants, as there is no point in trying to force him to do anything.
The most important thing to do is to make sure you don’t assume anything or build up what is going on in your head before you really know the facts and what is actually going on with him.
Don’t act needy.
If your boyfriend is ignoring you then you need to ensure that you don’t act needy. If he hasn’t replied to your first or second text then don’t keep texting him again. If you act desperate, this may turn him off. You need to give him time and space to figure out what it is that he really wants, but either way you cannot force his decision, no matter how much you want to.
If you are not yet committed to this guy then it is important to give him time and not act too forward.
Think about whether this is what you really want.
“My boyfriend is ignoring me…” If he is ignoring you then this may give you an opportunity to consider whether he even is the right guy for you. Maybe you deserve something better than someone who is just going to ignore you. We often fall in love with people who might not even be good enough for us.
If you fell in love with this guy quickly then you may not have had time to consider if he is really the right person for you. Just because you really like this guy, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is compatible with you. You need to think deeply about what you are really looking for from a partner.
Think about whether he has the characteristics which you are looking for in a partner. If he doesn’t seem to fit what you are looking for, it may be time to consider walking away from you, especially if he is ignoring you too.
Work on yourself.
You may have fallen head over heels for this guy really quickly without thinking about whether he deserves you. If he is ignoring you, then this might give you time to work on yourself. If you are healthy, happy and confident then you are more likely to attract other positive people.
If you feel like you are chasing this guy and hoping he will become as interested in you as you are in him, work on yourself rather than worrying about him.
It is never nice to be ignored by someone, especially if you really like that person. However, if there is no valid reason for his actions, the fact that he is ignoring you shows that this person does not deserve you and it is time to move on.
Let us know your experiences in the comments and don’t forget to share this article!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.