When the spark between two lovers is no longer what it used to be, a breakup might be just around the bend. We've all probably been there. Saying goodbye, moving on, and the whole process that comes with calling things off with someone you once shared emotional ties with.
Sometimes, you are even tempted to cyber-stalk, and check in on them to see if they are doing great without you. If there are no hard feelings after splitting up chances are, you may connect or even see each other once in a while.
However, what if your ex seems to be hiding their new girl from you? Is this normal? Why would an ex keep their new relationship status from you or lie about it? One of the straightforward reasons may be that he isn't over you.
But, there's more. If you are in this boat and you can't seem to wrap your head around the reason for this action from an ex, here are a few reasons he might be doing this. In the end, you'll know how to handle such a situation as it may be a case of deceiving you to achieve an end goal.
- 1 Why Does My Ex Deny Having A Girlfriend: 11 Possible Reasons
- 1.1 1. He has respect for you
- 1.2 2. It might no be longer your business to know such information
- 1.3 3. He’s hiding something from you
- 1.4 4. You are not over him and he knows
- 1.5 5. He doesn't want you to know moved on first
- 1.6 6. You are impulsive
- 1.7 7. He’s not ready
- 1.8 8. He has not moved on
- 1.9 9. He wants to get in your pants, with no strings attached
- 1.10 10. He’s a bad boyfriend
- 1.11 11. Your ex’s new girl is insecure
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
Why Does My Ex Deny Having A Girlfriend: 11 Possible Reasons
1. He has respect for you
Before you rush to conclusions about your ex lying about their relationship status, you might first need to understand virtually everyone tells lies. Maybe not everyone, but many people lie and they do so for various reasons. Lies are not always told because of intent to harm, or ulterior motives. Sometimes, people tell lies because they care about how others may feel. Meaning they lie not for themselves.
That said, no matter how peaceful a breakup went down, it isn't always a pretty process, especially when the relationship lasted for a relatively long period. So, if your ex is a great guy, lying to you about seeing someone else might be a sign that he respects you and want to protect how you feel.
Since he may not be sure how you'll react to his moving on, especially if he's the one that did the dumping. So, if your ex-boyfriend falls into that category of what you call a good guy while you dated him, you shouldn't be surprised he’s lying about this issue. He just wants to protect you in his own way.
2. It might no be longer your business to know such information
An ex is supposed to be someone you are no longer involved with. At least, romantically and perhaps in other ways. That's why they are called exes, right? While it doesn't mean you both now hate each other, it could mean you no longer have to know full details about each others' lives. Note that this reason may have something to do with the type of guy you were in a relationship with.
Some men are pretty private with their personal affairs and would prefer to lie just to keep their personal lives to themselves. While dating them, you may have noticed he never shares his life or relationship on social media. He may have only a few friends and tend to keep things almost invincible.
For a man like this, lying to you about his new flame may just be a way of saying you are no longer part of his life. Meaning, you are now his ex-girlfriend and it’s no longer your place to know if he’s dating.
3. He’s hiding something from you
While it’s officially over between you both, your ex may have a few skeletons kept away in his cupboard. For example, if the new girlfriend is someone you know, perhaps your friend, he might be embarrassing and awkward for him if you eventually find out. Another scenario in this regard may be that he was cheating on you but gaslighting you.
Again, maybe the new girlfriend is someone you were suspicious about, but he played with your emotions and manipulated you into thinking it was all in your head. Finding out the truth might open a can of worms even after the relationship may have ended. Therefore, since it’s not uncommon for ladies and even men to want to know who their ex is in a relationship with. lying to you may seem like a safe option so that you don't get curious about the identity of the new girlfriend.
4. You are not over him and he knows
Maybe the breaking up wasn't something you wanted. Perhaps, it was your fault or you ended things amicably because of distance. You may even have tried to patch things up and may still be hoping things work out between you both.
This way, telling you he now has someone else will likely hurt you. He may not be trying to hide his girl from you because of an ulterior motive. He may not just know how to tell you that he doesn't want to get back together like you are hoping. He's only trying to protect your emotions.
5. He doesn't want you to know moved on first
Well, there's no right or wrong time to move on from a failed relationship. However, when one person quickly moves on after a breakup, the other person may feel left alone, unimportant, or even used. Sometimes, when someone quickly gets over us, we may feel they never loved us to begin with.
So, if you were seeig a good guy, lying about his new girlfriend may just be his way of keeping his moving on very quiet without making you feel you were not important to him. The truth is it's hard to sit and talk about these things, so people just lie to avoid it. Lying is a way he chose to protect you from information that might upset you.
6. You are impulsive
I hate to break this one to you, but if you are sensitive or impulsive and perhaps could become dramatic and start to break things, your ex might feel keeping information about his love life secretive from you may be the best option. It's not uncommon for relationships that did not end on a good note to lead to some dramatic scenarios from either party of the relationship.
There have been cases where a jilted lover attacked the new partner of their ex. So, yeah, if your ex thinks there's a chance you might do something weird because of his new relationship status, he might not want you to know he has started seeing someone else let alone, letting you know who she is.
7. He’s not ready
Let's face it, we've all been there. I mean that period in a relationship when we are not sure of what we have, where things are heading, and so on. So, if your ex tells you he's just a friend with a girl he's with, chances are, he may not be ready or can't put a label on what it is.
Technically, it's not a lie, since he may tell others, including his family the same thing. Imagine it this way, if you've been on only a first date with a guy, can you say for sure, you are dating? I didn't think so too.
8. He has not moved on
You'll probably admit you've seen a situation where someone is in a relationship but is still stuck on their ex. Now you’re asking “Why does my ex deny having a girlfriend?” Because he hasn't moved on after we fell out.
What's more, he thought he still had a shot at getting back together with you in the future. Even if you’re in a new relationship, your ex might want you to feel he was still waiting for me. So, telling you he has someone else might destroy his chances of getting back with you.
9. He wants to get in your pants, with no strings attached
Men can be crafty. If you and your ex are still cozy perhaps, having sex and still hanging out like lovers, lying to you may just be a selfish move on his part. Perhaps, he thinks whatever you both have going on, post-fallout, will remain as long as he doesn't let you know he has someone else who is a better person.
Even if nothing is going on between you both, a manipulative and selfish ex may just choose to lie because he wants to give you the impression that he's still in love with you. His aim is to get into your pants without being your boyfriend. He probably broke your heart once. It took time to pick up the broken pieces, so don't let him do it again.
10. He’s a bad boyfriend
Some men are just horrible and toxic when it comes to being in a relationship. The awful part is, they consciously know the kind of person they are. Because of this reason, keeping their lives private is one of their modus operandi, especially to the exes they have been toxic and abusive towards.
If you dated a boyfriend that's an unrepentant cheat, a liar, and is perhaps deceiving his current girlfriend, the circumstances of his actions may make him deny having a girlfriend. He's probably afraid you'll mess up “his parade” with his new woman.
11. Your ex’s new girl is insecure
I mentioned earlier that your boyfriend may deny having a girlfriend because he's afraid of how you might react, e.g., sabotage him. Also, if his girlfriend is an extremely insecure woman, he may want to keep things under the radar. Why? Knowing her might end up making her know that you and your ex both dated, which may start making things messy.
Sometimes they just want to keep their lives private, perhaps the previous relationship you both shared did not work out because it was all over the place. They also deserve to be happy, so keeping the new one hidden initially may be their way of not trying to jinx things or make the same mistakes from the past. Also, it may be because they are trying to get back with you, so knowing they have someone else may spoil their chances.
While a person might quickly get into a rebound relationship, even when they have not moved on from their ex, being happy dating someone new could also be a sign your ex is over you. Even more, they don't feel angry, or bitter, display confidence around you, and support you in your current relationship.
Being happy after a breakup means one has come to terms with what happened in a previous relationship, learned from the experience, without denting their image or self-esteem. If your ex is still bitter, speaks badly about the relationship you both had, throws mixed signals, stalks you on social media, or even calls you when he's drunk., then he's likely not happy.
Rebounding is a common part of many post-breakup journeys. Relationship experts do not advise it but some people rebound because they want to quickly forget their ex. While it works for some people as a comfort zone in helping them quickly get out there, rebounding sometimes has negative effects since they did not leave room for proper healing from their past relationship.
Many people have a civil, non-romantic relationship with their exes as they never stopped communicating. However, if there are signs your ex still has strong feelings for you, it's best to keep the distance and set clear boundaries so that you can avoid messing up your new relationship.
While an ex may be lying about having a new woman because they have hidden motives, it may also just be because they care about how you feel. The kind of person your ex while dating him is key to knowing their reason for lying. I hope you enjoyed the article. You can share it with others and also drop a comment.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.