Perhaps you have been dating someone for a while and he has made it clear to you that he is not interested in pursuing anything serious with you. This can be extremely confusing and hurtful, especially if you like him and you hoped that things would progress between you. It is hard to accept that someone does not feel the same way as you do about them.
Not only is it hard to accept that someone does not reflect your feelings, but it is also made even worse when they continue to text you even though you know that he is not interested.
In some cases, this may mean that he just doesn’t know what he wants. Perhaps he likes you and was surprised that he has fallen for you but was not expecting to get into a relationship with anyone.
Or it may be that he simply wants to continue talking to you as a friend, but he does not want a relationship or anything more serious than that.
However, this situation can be difficult and extremely confusing unless you are on the same page. It can be almost impossible to be friends and continue talking to someone if you want a relationship and they don’t.
Keep reading for 27 reasons to explain why he keeps texting you even though he’s not interested.
- 1 Why Does He Keep Texting Me If He’s Not Interested
- 1.1 1. He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
- 1.2 2. He Likes You
- 1.3 3. He Wants To Be Friends
- 1.4 4. He Doesn’t want To Lose You
- 1.5 5. He’s Lonely
- 1.6 6. He Wants A Self-Esteem Boost
- 1.7 7. He’s Scared
- 1.8 8. He Wants His Friends To Be Impressed
- 1.9 9. You’re His Backup
- 1.10 10. He Is A Player
- 1.11 11. He’s Playing Cool
- 1.12 12. He Enjoys Flirting
- 1.13 13. He’s Bored
- 1.14 14. He Likes The Attention
- 1.15 15. He Thinks You Are Interesting
- 1.16 16. He Just Went Through A Breakup
- 1.17 17. He’s Shy
- 1.18 18. He’s Playing Mind Games
- 1.19 19. You Aren’t On The Same Page
- 1.20 20. He Has Low Self-Esteem
- 1.21 21. He Can’t Make Up His Mind
- 1.22 22. He’s Worried About What People Might Think
- 1.23 23. He Needs Time
- 1.24 24. You Make Him Look Good
- 1.25 25. He Doesn’t Know What You Want
- 1.26 26. He’s Scared Of Rejection
- 1.27 27. He Doesn’t Know How To Act
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up…
Why Does He Keep Texting Me If He’s Not Interested
It is important above all if you find yourself in this situation that you do not blame yourself and you don’t let it affect you in a negative way, because he is just not worth it. If he has told you that he is not interested in a relationship but you are, and you cannot accept that it won’t ever progress to something more, you need to break from him and stop texting him.
If his texts are making you feel confused or even hurt, it is important that you make it clear to him that you want to stop texting, for a while at least. Perhaps in the future, you can become friends but it is vital that you take some time to really look after yourself and figure out what you want and what is right for you in this situation.
You may want to keep texting him because the thought of not having him in your life at all is worse than him not wanting a relationship. However, this situation is likely causing you stress and heartache so it is important that you do not let it go on. Don’t let someone manipulate you for their own good, make it clear that you won’t be treated in this way anymore.
1. He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
If he has told you that he is not interested in a relationship but he continues to text you anyway, it may simply be that he just doesn’t know what he wants. He cannot figure his own thoughts out and he is confused because he likes you but he just didn't see himself in a relationship at this point in his life. If this situation makes you uncomfortable, walk away and avoid getting hurt.
2. He Likes You
If he keeps texting you even though he has given you the impression that he is not interested, it may be that he likes you a lot, but he is too scared or just doesn’t feel ready to enter a serious relationship. This may be because of past relationships or bad breakups that he has gone through in the past. Have an honest conversation with him about what is going on.
3. He Wants To Be Friends
Just because he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you, it does not mean that he doesn’t want to be friends with you. However, this situation can be complicated, especially if you both do not feel the same way. If you are still disappointed that he does not want a relationship, you may find it too difficult to text him as just a friend, so consider whether or not you are happy in this situation.
4. He Doesn’t want To Lose You
He may continue to text you despite that he doesn’t want anything serious with you because he doesn’t want to lose you. He may love having you around and enjoy your company. However, this can be an extremely difficult situation to navigate especially if you still have feelings for him. It may take some time before you are able to see him as just a friend.
5. He’s Lonely
If he is texting you even though he has told you that he doesn’t have feelings for you and he doesn’t want a relationship, it may be because he is lonely. Perhaps he has recently moved to a new place and he doesn’t have many friends. You are the only person that he knows there so he wants to keep you around to avoid feelings of loneliness creeping in.
6. He Wants A Self-Esteem Boost
He may also still be texting you for the ego boost that it gives him. If he is just texting you because you give him compliments it is likely that it boosts his confidence. If he isn’t interested in a friendship or a relationship but is just using you for his own selfish reasons, it is likely time for you to walk away before you get hurt, he doesn’t deserve you.
7. He’s Scared
Perhaps he knows deep down that he doesn’t see a future with you but is too scared to explicitly say that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you have a suspicion that this is the case, it is important that you talk to him rather than ignore the situation. You will not find happiness with someone that is not completely committed to you so walk on and find someone who is.
8. He Wants His Friends To Be Impressed
He may be keeping you around because he wants to impress his friends. He thinks he is cooler when you are around so he likes to give his friends the impression that you are together despite that he makes no effort to make you happy. He is using you to show off and increase his feeling of self-worth, so move on to someone that will treat you right.
9. You’re His Backup
He might be keeping you around by still texting you even though he isn’t interested because he wants a backup if things don’t work out for him. He may be seeing someone else but he wants to keep you around for a potential booty call if things don’t work out with his current girl. Don’t let someone treat you like a second option and walk away from him immediately.
10. He Is A Player
He may simply be still texting you despite that you know he isn’t interested because he is a player. He likes the feeling of control and satisfaction to know that you are still interested in him. Don’t give him the satisfaction and don’t let him play mind games with you. If he is treating you in this way, make sure to walk away and look for someone worthy of you.
11. He’s Playing Cool
Perhaps he’s still texting you because he does have feelings for you and he even wants a relationship but he is too scared to tell you so. He is trying to play it cool and he may even be hoping that you will tell him how you feel first. He thinks that playing it cool will ensure that you are even more interested in him and you will stick around.
12. He Enjoys Flirting
Some people just enjoy flirting, and this may explain why he is still texting you despite that he has clearly placed you in the friend zone. This guy obviously does not know what he wants but his personality is a flirty type and he can’t help but flirt with you. He may even be in another relationship but he wants to keep your flirty relationship on the back burner.
13. He’s Bored
Perhaps this guy is not busy at work and he doesn’t have many hobbies, so he sends you a random text message to brighten up his day. If he is bored, he may keep texting you to entertain himself and keep himself busy. He may even like talking to you, but he doesn’t want anything more than that and isn’t interested in a friendship or a relationship.
14. He Likes The Attention
Some guys like texting women because they like the attention that they receive. Perhaps they are in another unhappy partnership where they receive no compliments. He may simply text you because he is not satisfied with his current love life and he wants more attention and compliments. However, this is not fair on you, so put a stop to it.
15. He Thinks You Are Interesting
He is texting you because he finds your conversations interesting. This guy thinks you are fun to talk to and you always make him laugh. He always starts the conversation, but he never asks you on a date or initiates anything more. For whatever reason, he only wants a partnership that is based on texting. However, follow this dating advice and don’t let this go on for too long.
16. He Just Went Through A Breakup
This guy may have recently got out of a previous partnership or a messy breakup and is not ready to commit to someone else again. This may be especially true if the previous partnership was a long and serious one, it may take him a long time to be able to commit to someone new. He likes talking to you but he doesn’t want to make a proper commitment to you.
17. He’s Shy
This guy might be texting you and avoiding initiating a date or a real-life meet-up because he is too shy. He may be too scared to make the first move and instead stays within his safety net of texting. If you have been texting each other for a while and you seem to get on well, why not take things to the next level and make the first move yourself instead.
18. He’s Playing Mind Games
If you have been seeing each other for a while but he is sending you vague or confusing texts he may be playing mind games with you. If he shows no interest in a serious partnership, he may just be texting you because he enjoys the satisfaction of manipulating women. This man is not worthy of you so make sure to walk away from him.
19. You Aren’t On The Same Page
This may be a case of a simple misunderstanding between you. No one knows exactly what the other person is thinking, especially early on in dating. If you have been messaging each other but it hasn’t progressed further, he may not realize how you feel about him and that you would actually like to go on a date with him. Make it clear to him about how you feel.
20. He Has Low Self-Esteem
He may be texting you because you initiated the conversation. But now you are waiting for this man to ask you out on a date. You are confused because it seems like things are going well between you and you seem to get on well with each other but he just hasn’t mentioned meeting up. This may be simply down to his low esteem, he doesn’t have the confidence to ask you out.
21. He Can’t Make Up His Mind
Perhaps this man really likes you, but he is not ready to give up his single life just yet. He may not be able to decide between giving up his freedom and dating you, even though he does really like you. However, if this situation goes on for a long time, it is important to let him know that you want him to make a decision. Don’t let him mess you around.
22. He’s Worried About What People Might Think
He may be messaging you even though he won’t commit to a partnership with you because he likes you, but he is worried about what people might think about you dating. Whether this is because he is a lot older than you or for other reasons, the opinions of others may be holding him back from making a move with you and committing to you.
23. He Needs Time
Things may be moving too fast for this man and he is not ready to move past texting just yet. He may be enjoying this stage in your partnership but is somewhat scared for what may come in the future. Some men are scared of relationships so it may take a bit of time for him to decide that he wants to be with you. Just don’t let this go on for too long.
24. You Make Him Look Good
This man might be with you because you make him look or feel good. He likes how you make him feel but he doesn’t want to commit to anything. Realize that this is not fair to you so walk on.
25. He Doesn’t Know What You Want
Perhaps you have been unclear about what you want, maybe you have even been cold or acted disinterested toward him. This may be putting him off asking you out.
26. He’s Scared Of Rejection
This man may have been rejected in the past and is scared of the same thing happening again. Texting you is safe, but he is worried about asking you out in case you say no. Let him know how you feel and reassure him.
27. He Doesn’t Know How To Act
This man may never have been in a real partnership before and he just doesn’t know how to act around women. Some men find it hard to find their feet in their first relationships so be a bit understanding. However, if he doesn’t change even after a significant period of time it may be necessary to call it off for your own sake.
Some guys may continue to text even if they’re not interested because they actually do just want to stay friends. They may not share your feelings nor want a relationship, but he enjoys your company and wants to keep you in his life. However, this is not fair unless you feel comfortable and happy with this situation too, if not walk away.
He may be keeping you around even though he is not interested in a relationship for selfish reasons such as it gives him an ego boost. If this is the situation and you know that this is the only reason that he is keeping you around, it is important to put a stop to it and make it clear to him that you won’t be treated in this way before you get hurt.
If a guy slows down when he is texting you and stops texting you as often as he did at the beginning of the relationship, it may be a sign that things are moving too fast for him. If you think that this is the case, make sure to have an open and honest conversation with him about how he is feeling and whether he needs to slow things down for a while so as not to get overwhelmed.
There is no set amount of time that a guy should leave in between texting you if he likes you. Some people like to text more often than others, many people prefer to talk in person rather than text, so if this is the case don’t expect him to text you all of the time. Instead have a conversation about what level of texting makes you both happy so you are on the same page.
You should not have to test whether or not someone cares about you. If you do not feel loved and secure with your partner, it is important that you do not let this go. Speak to him about how you feel and see whether he makes an effort to change his ways. If he does not make any more effort to make you feel loved then it may be time to walk away from this relationship.
To Sum Up…
It can be a truly difficult and heartbreaking situation if you like someone but they do not like you in the same way, but continue to text you anyway. There is a range of different reasons to explain this. He may see you as a friend and simply doesn’t want to lose you, or he is using you for his own selfish gains. Whatever it is, walk away if you are no longer happy with him.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.