Are you tired of your single life and now what to get into a relationship? Do you envy girls who have a boyfriend and feel how good their lives are? Believe me; you are not alone! A few years back, I was also in the same position and wanted nothing more than a good boyfriend.
I wanted a man who would love me and sweep me off my feet. I eventually learned that I didn’t need a man to make me happy as the happiness lies within me. Also, no one would love me until I learn to love myself. I concluded that dating is fine, but I need not make any compromise to be accepted by a guy.
In today's article, we are going to look at the reasons behind wanting a boyfriend. They will help you understand what are the right reasons to get into a relationship and what is not. We will also see what you can do if you always find yourself imagining being in a relationship.
- 1 Why Do I Feel Like I Need A Boyfriend?
- 1.1 1. Family pressure
- 1.2 2. You are comparing your life to others
- 1.3 3. You feel lonely
- 1.4 4. Social media
- 1.5 5. Financial security
- 1.6 6. You want to fall in love
- 1.7 7. You want a fairy tale romance
- 1.8 8. You have found the right guy
- 1.9 9. You have low self-esteem
- 1.10 10. Emotional needs
- 1.11 11. You had a breakup recently
- 1.12 12. You want someone to be there for you
- 1.13 13. You feel your biological clock is ticking
- 1.14 14. Sexual needs
- 1.15 15. You want to settle down
- 1.16 16. You need to bitch about your girlfriends
- 1.17 17. Arm candy
- 2 What To Do If I Feel Like I Need A Boyfriend?
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Summarize
Why Do I Feel Like I Need A Boyfriend?
1. Family pressure
Unfortunately, the society that we live in puts a lot of pressure on finding the ‘special someone’. Even if you feel perfectly content being single, there will always be people in the family that will make you feel like a loser for not having a boyfriend and would expect you to start dating immediately.
It does not matter to them whether the person you are dating is a good man or not, all that is important is that you get into a relationship. It is not always the close family members that show their concern about your lack of love life, but it is not uncommon for strangers to ask you whether you are dating someone.
Here, you must learn to ignore these people and continue having fun in your life.
2. You are comparing your life to others
It is not always the people around you that are putting pressure on you to get a boyfriend but sometimes it is you who are putting pressure on yourself. Whenever you see your friend with their boyfriends, you compare yourself to them and want to date people only because it is something that your friends are doing.
If you are someone who gets depressed whenever you see couples around them then you need to take control of your life. You need to understand that the grass is always greener on the other side and being single does not mean that you have a pathetic life. Appreciate that not having a guy in your life means that you can spend your time doing things that you like.
3. You feel lonely
It is perfectly normal to get an occasional feeling of being lonely when you stay alone. However, getting into a relationship only because you do not want to feel lonely can never be the right thing to do. You should embrace your single life and understand that there are people who get this feeling of being lonely even when they are in a relationship.
If you feel alone then you should spend time doing things that you love. In your free time, you can learn a new hobby, which will work as a distraction and lessen your need to get into a relationship.
4. Social media
Social media is well known for deceiving people. Through social media people present an altogether different image of their lives and often people believe what they see online. It might happen to you, too!
Regular dreamy pictures of your friends with their boyfriends can result in social media envy and there are chances that you might want a partner only so that you can show him off on social media. If you feel that this is the case with you then you need to limit the time that you spend on social media.
You need to keep reminding yourself that you are seeing only a part of your friend’s life on social media and whatever they present might not be the reality. Good relationships are not made under any pressure or influence and you will find your man when the time is right.
5. Financial security
We live in a society that does not put much emphasis on girls being independent. Rather we see man as the sole breadwinner and it is believed that the only duty of a woman is to take care of her man. Although things have changed now and women have also started earning and working towards their dreams, still a woman’s career is not seen as a priority.
It might be possible that you too share these thoughts and therefore, instead of working towards your goals, you want a man who will take care of you. If that is the case, then you need to understand that you cannot be forever dependent on anyone. Even if your boyfriend is happy to take care of all your needs, what will happen if there is a turn of fate?
6. You want to fall in love
Society and movies have presented an image that once a girl finds a boyfriend all her worries disappear and they have a happy ending. However, this is not always true. In reality, if you fall for the wrong man, it can be an actual disaster. Therefore, you should wait for the right person and have all the real reasons to get into a relationship.
Remember, love is a beautiful feeling but single life also has its own advantages so rather than looking for love, concentrate on making a good career and future, and maybe love will find you in this journey.
7. You want a fairy tale romance
Girls from an early age are fed on fairy tale romance and are told that a prince will come for them. With all the stress on romance, there are chances that you want a boyfriend only because this is something that you have imagined from your children. Maybe you want a man in your life only because you love the idea of falling in love.
8. You have found the right guy
Now, this is one of the few real reasons to get into a relationship. You have found a guy with all the qualities that you always wanted in a man! Good for you! If you feel that you are ready then you should go ahead and date them. If things go well between you two, he can be your boyfriend and you guys can be in a relationship.
However, before you get involved in a romantic relationship, make sure that you spend quality time with this guy and make sure that he has all the qualities that you want in your boyfriend.
9. You have low self-esteem
People with low esteem are insecure about themselves and are often looking for ways to get approval from others. Due to this, they want to get into a relationship so that they get someone who will admire them and make them feel wanted and loved. However, insecure people can themselves sabotage their relationships with their own issues.
If you are someone that wants to get into a relationship not because you like someone but because you want to feel loved then it is important that you first learn to love yourself. Instead of spending your extra time finding ‘the one’, you should instead learn to love yourself.
10. Emotional needs
Every individual has emotional needs, which only grow with age. These emotional needs are much higher in girls who never got the required love from their parents. If you believe that you are one such girl then instead of finding a boyfriend only to fulfill your emotional needs, you first should work on strengthening the bond that you share with your family.
11. You had a breakup recently
So you had a boyfriend and it was fun. However, now you have broken up and you always have a feeling of gloominess and do not know any more about what to do with your life. If this is the case with you then many of your friends will suggest that you make a new boyfriend, which will help you to move on.
However, this kind of relationship, which is based on a need, can never be successful and in the end, will only result in heartbreak.
12. You want someone to be there for you
Even if you have a fun life with lots of friends, you might worry about what will happen in the future, when all your friends get busy with their lives. It might be this idea that worries you and you want a boyfriend whom you can marry so that there is someone with you in your old age.
Although this reason is completely genuine, you should understand that you will meet the man of your dreams when the right time comes. Although you should go on dates and try to find your ideal match, it does not mean that you have to make any compromises. Just because your past relationships did not work, it does not mean that you will be forever alone.
13. You feel your biological clock is ticking
Now, this is a rational fear that usually women over 30 years of age who want to become mothers face. It is a fact that after a certain age, giving birth naturally becomes difficult, but it does not mean that you get in a relationship with the first man you see. With options like egg freezing, women can get pregnant at almost any age.
Therefore, girls do not need to settle. Also, if you are very keen on becoming a mother then you can even think about trying adoption.
14. Sexual needs
There is nothing wrong with having sexual needs as they are natural. However, having a boyfriend only to fulfill your carnal needs can never be a good idea, as relationships are much more than sex.
Well, in that case, self-stimulation is something that you can practice. Or, if you want to do it with a boy then it is better that you make yourself clear from the beginning so there are no misunderstandings later on. It is also important to practice safe sex and take all the necessary precautions.
15. You want to settle down
It might be the case that you have completed all your dreams and aspirations for now and are ready to get into a committed relationship. Settling down has different meanings for different people and it does not always mean getting married. It can just mean that you are ready for a committed relationship.
No matter what you mean by settling down, you must let the other person know what your expectations are from the relationship early on so there are no misunderstandings later on.
16. You need to bitch about your girlfriends
Indeed things with your girlfriend can get rough at times and in such a situation you need a man to whom you can bitch about all the girl stuff. However, it does not mean that you need a boyfriend for all that stuff. A good male friend can work as a perfect support system without all the drama that goes on in a relationship.
17. Arm candy
There are chances that you want a handsome boyfriend only as arm candy to show off to your friends. Everyone loves beauty, and maybe you want a man whom you want to flaunt in your friend circle.
What To Do If I Feel Like I Need A Boyfriend?
If you feel like you need a boyfriend then the best thing to do is have a clear mind and try to figure out why you actually want a man in your life. If you genuinely like a man then it is a good reason to want to be in a relationship. However, if you feel that you are getting these thoughts only because of peer pressure or similar reasons then you need to take a step back.
Take a diary and write in it all the things that you can do being single and how you can get diverted from your goal if you get into a relationship because of some of the not so valid reasons given above. Understand that a relationship also involves fights, heartbreaks, and disagreement, are you ready for this kind of a commitment.
Peer pressure can be one of the major reasons for wanting a boyfriend. Also, many times it is just the idea of having a ‘special someone’ in your life that attracts you. Some other reasons given above might be the reason for you wanting a boyfriend.
To stop wanting a boyfriend, first learn to love yourself so you do not need anybody else’s love. Keep yourself occupied, surround yourself with your loved ones, and do things that you love to make sure that you do not feel alone and lonely.
When you feel you need a boyfriend, think about what all you love about your single life. Think about how things will change and how you will divide your time once you get into a relationship. However, you can still keep dating and see if you can find the man of your dreams.
Children below 14 years of age should not have a boyfriend or girlfriend as at a young age they lack the maturity to handle a relationship. However, when it comes to serious relationships, people should have them only when they have achieved at least their academic goals.
If you miss someone only when you are alone and have nothing to do but forget about them when you are with friends, that could be a sign that you are just lonely.
Were you able to relate to this content? Do you agree that many times girls make boyfriends only because of society's conditioning? Were you at any point at a stage where you wanted nothing more than to get into a relationship? We would like to hear about your thoughts and experience!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.