Are you wondering, “Why did he break up with me if he still loves me?” Do you wonder what reason he had for doing this? He may have actually had many reasons to break up with you; some men have more than one reason for breaking up with their girlfriends. It really just depends on your situation.
The best course of action to take if you are in the process of a breakup is to talk to your ex to find out the reason he ended things, especially if he still really loves you. He might be able to explain things in a way that you can easily understand. His reasons may shock you, though; you won’t know until you talk things out with him.
In this article, I want to talk about the various reasons that men break up with women, what to do after a breakup, and how to win your ex back after you have been dumped. You never know; there may be something you can do to change his mind! Let’s explore this topic more!
- 1 Why Your Guy Broke Up With You Though He Still Loves You
- 1.1 1. He doesn’t feel like he can be the boyfriend you need right now
- 1.2 2. He doesn’t see a future for the two of you
- 1.3 3. He wants to be alone right now
- 1.4 4. He wants some time to think about the future of your relationship
- 1.5 5. He thinks you are with him for the wrong reasons
- 1.6 6. He doesn’t feel like he can trust you right now
- 1.7 7. He thinks your relationship is moving too fast
- 1.8 8. He is seeing someone else or wants to before settling down
- 1.9 9. He doesn’t think he’s being fair to you
- 1.10 10. He isn’t ready for a committed relationship
- 1.11 11. He wants to focus on his career
- 1.12 12. He wants to devote his time and effort toward something else
- 1.13 13. He thinks you are about to break up with him
- 1.14 14. He thinks he was with you for the wrong reasons
- 1.15 15. He doesn’t think that you love him
- 1.16 16. He needs a break from all the drama and fighting
- 1.17 17. He thinks there is something missing from your relationship
- 1.18 18. He’s tired of your negative attitude
- 1.19 19. He’s very upset about something
- 2 What To Do After The Breakup
- 3 How To Win Your Ex Back
- 4 Does He Still Love You?
- 5 FAQs
- 6 In Summary
Why Your Guy Broke Up With You Though He Still Loves You
1. He doesn’t feel like he can be the boyfriend you need right now
Your ex may believe that you deserve better than what he can give you. Maybe he thinks he is just unable to give you what you need. I have had guys say this to me. I hate it because I know that it’s untrue; it may be a good idea to talk about the end of your relationship and why he felt it was necessary.
2. He doesn’t see a future for the two of you
I’ve actually had guys say they didn’t see a future for our relationship, yet they wanted to stay together! That makes no sense to me! Why would I waste time with a guy who didn’t want to be with me in the long run? If he wants to keep you hanging on but doesn’t see a future with you, you should end the relationship and move on with your life!
3. He wants to be alone right now
I love being in a relationship, but some people do not feel that way. They want to have their alone time. For your situation, it may be an issue of him just not wanting to be in a relationship right now. If you want to get your ex back, your best bet is to give him the space he is craving. If the love is there, he’ll come back to you eventually.
4. He wants some time to think about the future of your relationship
Some guys just really need to take the time to think; there’s nothing wrong with that if he has future plans for you. However, you may not know how he feels if he doesn’t even know that himself. Just give your ex the time and space he needs. Set him free, and if it’s meant to be, he’ll return to you eventually.
5. He thinks you are with him for the wrong reasons
There’s a possibility that your ex believes that the two of you aren’t meant to be because you are just after one thing from him – money, sex, or some other aspect. Try to get to the bottom of this, so you can figure out what he believes and whether it’s true or not! You may need to think about your motives for this relationship!
6. He doesn’t feel like he can trust you right now
If you’ve had an affair or your ex believes that you did, he may just not trust you right now. He may have trust issues that have nothing to do with you. Talk it out with him to find out what you can do to improve things. There may not be anything, but at least you’ll know why he ended the relationship. Then, you can move on to the next suitor.
7. He thinks your relationship is moving too fast
Many guys believe relationships are rushed; they want to take things slow because they fear commitment or pain. They may have been burned from past relationships; you never know unless you ask. If he thinks you are rushing things, your best move is to back off and give him plenty of time and room to breathe.
8. He is seeing someone else or wants to before settling down
Your ex may be in love with you and want to marry you one day, but first, he wants to date around and have some fun. If you believe the two of you will get back together one day, you should allow him the opportunity to date others. However, you should feel free to do the same!
9. He doesn’t think he’s being fair to you
Maybe you are “the one” to your ex, but right now, he’s dating around and seeing many other women. If this is the case, he may believe that he’s not being fair to you by asking you to be in a relationship with him. Go ahead and date other people if he’s doing the same thing. You don’t have to wait around for him!
10. He isn’t ready for a committed relationship
So many guys are scared of commitment. They may believe that relationships are just bad news, are scared of getting hurt by a breakup, or think that long-term relationships just equal pain and a lack of freedom. Often, they think that if they are in a committed relationship, they will be controlled or bossed around. They want to keep things casual.
11. He wants to focus on his career
Is your man a workaholic? Does he consider his career choice to be of the utmost importance in his life? What are his career goals? Is he very ambitious? You should allow him the time he needs to do what he wants with his career or job. Over time, he’ll probably want to explore other goals in his life, and he’ll look for you!
12. He wants to devote his time and effort toward something else
Like a career-minded man, some guys have a sick parent to take care of or have a friend in need that requires their attention. Is there something else in his life going on that you need to give him space to work on? Try to be understanding and not take it too personally if your ex broke up with you for one of these reasons.
13. He thinks you are about to break up with him
Some guys just want to beat their girlfriends to the punch! They think that they are about to be dumped, so they go ahead and take the initiative to do it first. It’s better to be the dumper than to be the one who was dumped, right? You may have to explain to your ex that you had no intention of breaking up with him and find out why he believes that!
14. He thinks he was with you for the wrong reasons
Was the sex phenomenal? Did the two of you travel a lot? Do you think that maybe he was just scared of being alone? He may think he wasn’t being fair to you.
15. He doesn’t think that you love him
Have you shown your ex that you love him through your actions and behavior? Did you tell him you truly were head over heels in love with him? You might want to straighten this out with him if you think this is the reason he ended your relationship.
16. He needs a break from all the drama and fighting
Some couples have a lot of drama in their relationships, and many men just cannot take the constant bickering, yelling, or arguments. Being with someone who constantly undermines you or makes you feel as though you are worthless is exhausting. Did the two of you fight a lot? What did you argue about? Is there a way to make peace now?
17. He thinks there is something missing from your relationship
Your ex may love you, but if he thinks there was something missing from your relationship, he may have felt the need to end things. It would be beneficial for you if you asked him what he thought was missing in your relationship. Ask him why he decided to break things off. By doing this, you are giving yourself a chance for closure.
18. He’s tired of your negative attitude
What is your normal personality like? What kind of demeanor do you have on a regular basis? Are you a negative person that always contradicts others? Do you feel the constant need to be argumentative? You could probably benefit from some self-improvement exercises if this is the case. Listen to some positive podcasts!
19. He’s very upset about something
Many times, men break up with women because they are very angry about something that has happened or something that was said in anger. I remember one guy telling me the reason for his divorce was because his ex said, “I hate you!” I mean, we all lash out in anger from time to time, and I’m sure she didn’t mean that!
To me, that was a silly reason to end a marriage! I think we all have a tendency to do things we regret from time to time. It’s important for you to apologize even if you feel like you didn’t really do anything wrong. If he is hurt over something you did or said, apologize anyway! What’s the harm in a sincere apology? It’s an easy thing to do!
Practice what you plan to say to him before you say it. You might even want to write it out in a letter. When you are ready, you can just schedule a time to talk to him and read him your apologetic letter. Express that you are sorry for what you did. Even if it doesn’t bring the two of you back together, you’ll feel better by righting this wrong!
What To Do After The Breakup
Focus On Yourself
Consider focusing on yourself by working on self-improvement projects. For example, if you know you have a problem making friends, read a book on the subject or hit up your Facebook friends to make some new pals! Whatever it is that you feel you need to work on is what you should be focusing on. You’ll be glad you did!
Talk It Out
You may find it helpful to talk to a qualified counselor or therapist if you are in a lot of emotional or mental pain. You deserve to be happy and to find true love, and a therapist can help give you the tools you need to get over breakups like this! Don’t forget about your friends and family, too! Your support system is there to offer you love and comfort during this painful time.
Let Your Feelings Out
Allow yourself the chance to find closure if you know your breakup is for good. Talk to your ex about your feelings, and ask him why he wanted to end things. You may be able to stay friends eventually, but go ahead and have a good cry right now while you are healing from this pain.
Think About The Reason You Broke Up
I’ve always found it helpful to analyze the reason for the breakup. Why did he want to end things? In what way could I have done things differently? Don’t beat yourself up if there’s nothing you can do about it, but if the reason was something simple, you might be able to get your ex back by just changing a bad habit or something like that.
Pick up a new hobby, develop a passion for something you’ve never thought about before, or focus on your job or career right now. Whatever you decide to do, just stay busy; it’ll help you keep your mind on other things and allow your ex time to think about the breakup situation. He may decide that his love for you is too strong to deny and take you back!
How To Win Your Ex Back
If you want your ex back, one surefire way to win his heart is to give him space and time. Just back off and let him think about his thoughts on your relationship. You might consider reading The Rules, a time-tested book on how to play hard to get with the man you love. The message of the book or website is that by being elusive, you can win the heart of any man.
I don’t think that is true for every man, but it could work on your ex and your particular situation. One way you can show “The Rules” is to stay busy, as mentioned in the last section! Over time, your ex will want you to come back because he’ll miss you! You can get your ex back by just allowing him time to think about whatever issue he had that caused the breakup.
Don’t call or text him non-stop; just give him space. If he does love you, he will wonder why you aren’t giving him lots of attention, even though the two of you aren’t in a relationship anymore. Plus, during this time, you can focus on healing from the pain you feel. It’s just very important that you don’t harass him if you want your ex back for good. He needs time to miss you!
If you think your love for one another is too strong to ignore, you might want to talk to him about taking a break from each other for a while. Cease all contact for about three months, and this will give you time to think about the breakup. It will also give you a goal because you’ll know in three months, you can maybe get your ex back and be in a relationship with him again!
Does He Still Love You?
Usually, if a boyfriend still cares and loves his girlfriend, he tells her. He also still wants to be friends, still enjoys her company, and probably calls or texts her every day. He might say that he misses her or show he cares by the little things that he does.
The girlfriend may even catch her boyfriend talking about her behind her back (not negatively); she may hear it from the grapevine that he’s not over her.
If your ex is acting like this, your situation may be one where the breakup isn’t final. Maybe he just needs a break from being in a relationship right now. Just give him time and space to sort out his feelings and determine if the love is strong enough to conquer the reason he broke up with you.
Your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband will probably tell you he still really loves you, or he’ll show it by the actions he takes. For example, he might still show he cares by picking up your kids from soccer practice or something like that. He also might call you once a day.
He may not feel like he is the best boyfriend for her. Many guys feel inadequate in relationships so they end these relationships to let the girl find someone else. He may think that you could do better and really cares about your well-being. He just wants the best for you.
Many men avoid their ex-girlfriends because they don’t want a long, drawn-out argument over why the two of you broke up. Some men just want to be left alone and don’t want to deal with your hurt feelings because that’ll make them feel guilty for breaking up with you.
Sometimes, a guy realizes he shouldn’t have broken up with you right away, but men are stubborn creatures. If they say one thing, they want to stick by it – even if they know, they are dead wrong. This is just a frustrating aspect of the opposite sex.
Your breakup is probably final if your boyfriend broke up with you and told you that the two of you would never get back together. He may explain the reasons he dumped you. If those reasons are unchangeable, it’s probably over for good. Keep your chin up, though!
Did your boyfriend break up with you? Do you think you will get back together? If he still loved you, I’m sure he told you that when you were his girlfriend. We just don’t always know the reasons men dump us, unfortunately. What do you think? Please leave a comment!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.