Have you ever caught yourself falling for the same type of man? I bet you have. Sometimes, the similarity is in their looks or even the personality of the men you are attracted to. The big question is usually ‘why are we attracted to certain people?’
Attraction is scientifically proven to be caused by numerous factors that are beyond our control. So, yes, being attracted to certain people is totally normal.
The attractiveness of a person is defined by features that are pleasing to you. Looks always play a role in physical attractiveness. This is where his skin tone, jawline, hair, height, smile, and other physical attributes are factors you consider.
Although attraction can lead to Love, it is nothing compared to love itself. Attraction is not as mysterious as love is because it is scientifically proven to be influenced by certain scientific elements.
There are various reasons why you are attracted to certain people, not others and I will share fifteen of those reasons with you in this article. However, keep in mind that these factors are not peculiar to you alone and that every relationship is based on some level of attraction.
- 1 15 Reasons Why We Are Attracted To Certain People
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
15 Reasons Why We Are Attracted To Certain People
Proximity is part of the reason you are attracted to a person. I bet this is coming as a surprise to you but it is the truth. You probably are attracted to him because he is within your reach and that may be the only reason, sadly.
Ever heard of the phrase ‘girl next door?’ It is a thing! Two people who find themselves in the same area or with sight can find acceptance in their attractiveness, it's as simple as that! Use Adam and Eve for reference. You can be attracted to people because those are the kind of people in proximity. This affects us more than we care to notice.
2. Personality traits
The personality traits of a person are one of the most common reasons for the attraction. Everyone should consider the personality of a person before confessing attraction. It could be about the way the person speaks to you or how they react to certain situations that pulls you closer to them.
To be attracted to a person based on their personality, you must have known them a while enough to study their behavioral pattern. Although there are some people who can tell what kind of personality a man has after meeting him once. Personality traits also include a person's thought process.
3. Past experiences
This reason is rather personal for me. I am aware of being attracted to people based on past experience. I do this with some things as trivial as appearances. And if you’re being honest to yourself, you do it too.
I have a tendency to constantly move toward taller guys because one time I met one that was absolutely amazing. The funny thing is, they turn out to have similar qualities as most men, although I completely ran out of luck once.
It’s normal to be attracted to a person based on your past experience. If you look critically, it’s through those experiences that we build taste and each of us should have a taste.
Yep! You’re attracted to them because they are attracted to you, it happens. It is lonely out there, so much that I completely believe that we weren't made to be on our own. There’s that phase in a young girl's life where she feels it's okay to like a man simply because he likes her. No darling, it’s not.
Although reciprocity is a reason for attraction to certain types of men; it’s a shallow one. I agree that there might be a base for growth but it still gives off a ‘one night stand’ vibe not a ‘strong relationship’. Reciprocity does not justify loving someone but it’s good enough for attraction. It's a strong factor that keeps us in the cycle of falling for the same things.
5. Socio-sexual orientation
Your socio-sexual orientation is one major indicator of the type of people you would be attracted to. This is where your sexual identity is developed and how you act around other people with a different sexual orientation from you.
Socio-sexual orientations play a role when it comes to attraction. It is basically what helps you define who your match is and draws you to certain people and not others. According to psychology, it builds a reference wall of what attractiveness in regards to the opposite sex means to you.
We all have taste or a type. Whichever phrase you decide to use, it still means there’s a kind of man we want. Our taste is built by our socio-sexual orientation and past experience as well. Our brain pulls us closer to our taste. Perhaps, the kind of man that you think fits your persona is tall, dark, and handsome, you're always going to be looking out for that sort of man daily.
Don’t get me wrong, you might be with other men but those qualities are key points to you. So you would see yourself attracted to that kind of man often because of your taste. Having a bad taste in men or the opposite sex, in general, is a problem, be on the lookout.
Oftentimes, we’re attracted to a group of men based on the comfort they give us. Take, for instance, a girl attracted to men who are twice her age. I always wondered how they pulled that off until I started looking at it from a point of comfort.
As human beings, we’re naturally drawn to the things that give us peace and a sense of security. Perhaps, this is why they choose whom they chose.
I bet if given the choice you would choose a man who would always make you happy or at the very least understood your body language. Therefore, if we are attracted to who makes us comfortable, it's possible to find obvious similarities in most of them.
8. Age group
We sometimes skip over this when we’re considering why we like a particular person but it plays a part. In life, apart from being grouped by our sexual differences (male and female), we’re also grouped by age. People within a certain age range have very similar characteristics because they’re bothered by the same things.
Take, for instance, teenagers and their endless desire to explore. A man within a certain age bracket would have some traits that match other men in the same group. If you’re attracted to people based on their age grouping chances are that you would fall a certain type only.
9. Star sign
Not all of us believe in star signs and that’s okay. However, I would not toss it out the window completely. Some of the qualities of those born in that start sign define them a lot. It points us towards compatibility and forms a backdrop for who we are attracted to without us knowing. The most compatible signs with Gemini are said to be Leo, Aries, Libra, and Aquarius.
Astrology describes our qualities and groups us into star signs, giving reasons why we work better in a relationship with certain star signs and not others. This forms a basis of attraction for a lot of people who believe in star signs and to some extent, these astrology signs tally.
It’s human to say that we’re attracted to people we feel are compatible with. Compatibility is not just in character, it’s in looks as well. Have you ever just thought that a person's face fits your persona? I have a lot and it has made me attracted to them.
It’s not usually love; although with time it can grow to be compatibility is a strong pull towards a person. It feels like a light bulb comes on over your head once you meet a man who fits your personality. It’s very difficult to let go of such a person even though the relationship does not work out due to other reasons.
We are attracted to certain people because they have something we’re familiar with. There’s a myth that says that over eighty percent of women end up with someone like their dads. I think that it can only be caused by a force of familiarity.
While growing up around people, your brain keeps a record of traits in others that make you happy, calm, and comfortable. When you find this familiarity in other people, it draws you to them. Why you fall for certain people and not others is because they carry traits that are familiar to you.
In chemistry, it’s said that, unlike poles, attract. However, with respect to human attraction, it’s different. Similar people attract each other, even though sometimes the reverse is the case. That you are drawn to a type can be logically explained by similarities.
It is called a type, because these men have factors or traits that are common amongst them that are tailored to your taste—either by past experience or socio-sexual orientation.
Have you ever sat across a table from your friend and all of a sudden she becomes so elated about a person in her sight? You start talking about his jawline, and hair and obsessing about other features so much that you can’t wait to see his face? As soon as you turn to look, you don’t see what she sees that makes him so attractive.
Sometimes, you may even spot just flaws in the man. Why’s that? When it comes to the way we classify a person's physical appearance it is based on what information we’ve stored in our brain about certain characteristics. Maybe you don’t like a short man because you feel he can’t help you reach the cupboard, but your friend thinks he’s a cute little teddy.
Perspective is one of the defining factors of what makes a man attractive to one girl and not the other.
Hormones are known to be regulatory substances that are produced in a person and transported through tissue fluids to stimulate action. Hormones have a strong effect on our moods and behaviors. It also points to why we’re attracted to certain people. Logical reasoning often dies when hormones kick in, especially sexual hormones.
It makes us choose partners based on how we feel at the moment or by how they can satisfy our hormonal desire. Compatibility in personality doesn’t necessarily come into play when the attraction to a person is purely hormonal. After the rush in hormones is gone, the attraction to such a person usually fades with it.
This cause of attraction can be controlled with practice as it should because it usually leads to actions we regret.
Where you are playing a major part in determining the type of people you would be attracted to. If people should pay more attention to their environment and how it affects their psychology, they’d be more careful about where they decide to live.
A typical New Yorker may either not want to be with a typical New Yorker like herself or maybe want someone just like her. This decision is based solely on how she views the New York lifestyle.
Sometimes, you could be stuck with very limited options that you end up recycling the same thing without even knowing. As soon as you catch yourself in this cycle, please step out of your comfort zone. There’s so much more excitement to find out there.
It’s simple aesthetically pleasing factors that draw us to a particular body type. Especially when it comes to women and why they pick men with a particular body type. They also consider the functions of those features asides from aesthetics.
Plus from a young age, we form our own ideal love story and this also entails the physical attributes of the kind of man we’d like to end up with. It is usually influenced by what we see around us.
In the article, I’ve listed star signs and other significant points as to why we’re attracted to one person, not another. These factors all form our personal taste in the opposite sex. Sometimes, it's based on familiarity or similarities between the people you like. Your socio-sexual orientation also adds to why who you like is who you like.
The truth is we’re attracted to people who look like our parents and because we came from our parents they look like us as well. Plus, birds of the same feather really do flock together. This concept of looking like your partner isn’t new at all. For some, it happens immediately after they fall in love. For others, it takes a while for the resemblance to show.
According to numerous researches, women with the hourglass figure have the most attractive body shape. However, in recent times the physical attractiveness of a body type is peculiar to the person admiring. However, a flat tummy would never go out of fashion. Men like women with flat bellies, irrespective of the rest of their shape. Plus if your tummy is flat, everything else aligns.
The first thing men look at in a woman is her body and then her face. What makes her attractive physically could be her fashion sense, her hair, the way she wears her makeup, and even her smile. Most men are in love with the smell of their women, so that counts as well.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. Attraction is a psychology-based subject to explore and very different for each of us. I would love to read your thoughts in the comment section and please, don’t forget to share this article with your friends. Thank you!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.