If we are honest with each other, we've all encountered one asshole or the other at some point in our lives. Now, I'm not just referring to men and women who act like complete jerks. That list also includes very annoying and stupid people with detestable behaviors.
Not to keep the stereotype going, but men have always been douchebags right from old age and time. Regardless of how vulgar the word sounds, some guys actually deserve to be called just that. I mean, what do you call a guy who breaks up with his girlfriend because she got pregnant? Or a guy who cheats on his wife?
Conversely, there's a whole new perspective of the term “asshole” – you know, the arrogant but attractive and charming type. That's the type most ladies, if not all, love being around. Hell, they may claim to hate the guy, but deep down, they can't wait to get hands-on with him. In my experience, guys like this are very assertive, ambitious, and wield significant influence.
Regardless of the type of asshole you encounter, knowing why they behave the way they do will help you handle them better. Here are some possible explanations for why men act the way they do.
- 1 11 Reasons Why Men Are Such Assholes
- 1.1 1. To show their dominance and superiority
- 1.2 2. They are constantly reminded of a bitter breakup or messy divorce
- 1.3 3. To get attention
- 1.4 4. Means of survival
- 1.5 5. To get what they want
- 1.6 6. They are looking to pick a fight
- 1.7 7. Loneliness
- 1.8 8. To make others feel less of themselves
- 1.9 9. To cover up their guilt
- 1.10 10. To massage their fragile egos
- 1.11 11. It's part of who they are
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
11 Reasons Why Men Are Such Assholes
1. To show their dominance and superiority
Alpha males don't have much going for them except the constant urge to display their power and dominant status. Men with this personality trait are overly protective of what's theirs, which makes them impulsive and unreasonable at times.
Alpha males often behave like assholes to show their power and competitive drive. If you ever encounter such a guy in the dating world or marriage, try not to show timidity or weakness because they feed off it.
Whenever you encounter this type of asshole, maintain a cool head and project unwavering confidence no matter what he does. Projecting this sort of attitude can discourage the guy from behaving like a jerk.
2. They are constantly reminded of a bitter breakup or messy divorce
If a man acts like an asshole towards you, the chances are that he's still reeling over a bitter relationship experience. You wouldn't blame him, would you? The guy must have probably thought he had found “the one” only to be left hanging out to dry in the cold.
Obviously, something must have snapped in his head, and suddenly he turns out to become this very annoying guy. To avoid being vulnerable again, men who have experienced one form of heartbreak or the other willfully decide to become assholes.
3. To get attention
Assholes can be very insecure about things and people in their lives. These men struggle with various insecurities that arise from certain negative past experiences. Being an asshole puts them in the spotlight and guarantees them all the attention they want from those they care about.
Women are bound to notice men who are unruly towards them. The guy you are dating may probably want sex, and the only way to get your attention is by acting up. If sex is something you both agreed to at the start, by all means, give in to the sex for peace to reign.
4. Means of survival
Some guys consider being an asshole as a must-have life skill. An asshole doesn't mind being misinterpreted or disliked as long as he gets what he wants. He pushes for any slight advantage that serves his interests and produces optimal results for him.
Being an asshole can be a good thing, especially in high-stakes situations. Men don't like emotions to get in the way of how they conduct their business and affairs. Being an asshole makes them objective in their reasoning and decision-making.
5. To get what they want
Of all the types of assholes we have, these are the most unethical of them all. They can go above and beyond to get what they want regardless of the consequences.Women find it tiring and frustrating to have men in their lives that put them down in pursuit of a particular interest.
Nothing else matters to them except hitting their target and getting what they want. These types of assholes don't care about who gets hurt in the process of achieving their goals.I have always advised women who are in relationships to learn specific mechanisms of coping with these men.
6. They are looking to pick a fight
The quickest way to pick a fight with someone is to behave like a jerk. When a man is an asshole around you, the chances are that he wants to get you agitated for a fight or quarrel. Guys know that it's not so difficult to get under a lady's skin.
One or two verbal assaults at you are enough to get you itching for a fight. The best thing to do in such situations is to maintain your resolve, not give him what he wants. Distance your mind from the situation and refocus it on something more pleasant.
Nine times out of gen, assholes act the way they do because they are lonely. Like dating, being single has its challenges. It's not easy to cope after coming out of a long-term relationship or marriage.
Even the toughest of men could get lonely, leading them to become unfriendly and rude to those around them. Instead of reciprocating the hostile behavior, the best thing to do is show them some kindness and be nice.
So what do you do when the guy comes at you with an insensitive comment or puts up an annoying behavior? Take it all in good faith and treat it as one of those things that happen in life. Try to get along with them rather than push them away. By doing so, the asshole may likely change his ways and turn a new leaf.
8. To make others feel less of themselves
There's this superiority attitude that is common among assholes. They treat women with utter disrespect and contempt. These men act like they are better than you in a bid to put you down and make you feel less of yourself.
Smiling and shaking it off sounds like your best bet in this kind of situation. Maintaining a positive attitude will help you weather any storm they throw at you. Besides, who responds to verbal assaults and negative attitudes with a smile or hearty laughter. That alone will throw the asshole off and put him in a state of confusion, giving you plenty of time to gather yourself.
9. To cover up their guilt
A guy could start acting like a jerk after doing something wrong. He probably did something to hurt his significant other. Perhaps, he had sex with a couple of other women, and the scenes haven't stopped replaying in his head. Deep down, the guy knows he could have done better, and the guilt keeps weighing him down.
Rather than admit to his shortcomings, he starts acting up in a bid to cover them up. Being in a relationship with an asshole is something that women must avoid at all costs. You shouldn't be dating a man who doesn't rate you enough to apologize to you.
Don't hesitate to register your disapproval if you discover that your man is acting like an asshole to cover up for something he did. There's no justifying that type of behavior.
10. To massage their fragile egos
Some men actually believe that being an arrogant asshole makes them badass. The idea is to be tough and intimidating, but in fact, they are just assholes. They always have a reason for being unruly and rude to those around them.
Unlike the badasses they aspire to be, assholes are only looking for an opportunity to massage their fragile egos. Any man who puts women down to boost his fragile ego is a complete asshole. Maybe you should go a step further and cause him some serious embarrassment to further hurt his pride.
11. It's part of who they are
Some guys are really gifted in being assholes. I mean, how can a guy turn his back on a long-term relationship or forget the name of the girl he just had sex with? Not only is it despicable, but it shows he had no regard or respect for such a woman in the first place.
You may have probably been unfortunate to be in relationships with various types of assholes, but that shouldn't make you give up on the prospect. When you agree to date a guy, apply yourself to see that the relationship works out. The thing is – men will always be men, and they can be assholes when they want to be.
It's fairly common for men to behave like jerks after a breakup. That's their way of lashing out and letting out the negative emotions that have built up inside them. Remember, it's in a man's nature to want to deny his feelings; being jerky helps him achieve that. More so, being an asshole helps him cope better.
A man will commit to any woman he shares a deep connection with. This feeling goes beyond love, sex, or any other gratification dating offers. For a man to commit to you, he has must have seen that you are both compatible. Additionally, the guy sees you as someone that can help him become better and achieve his life goals.
That depends on the circumstances that led to the breakup. If it was messy, there's the feeling of hate, anger, regret, and resentment. The feeling will be evident in her social media posts and comments. Conversely, she will feel great and happy after dumping a guy that was mean-spirited or cheated on her.
Guys mostly act this way around girls they love so much. They don't want you getting the wrong ideas about them and their intentions. It could simply be a case of him being too shy to approach you and express his feelings. Some guys that act distant around ladies they love do so because they are scared of rejection.
Firstly, a guy in love allows himself to become vulnerable to the woman he has feelings for. He's prepared to go above his means to make you happy and show his affection. Additionally, the guy introduces you to people that matter most in his life to show you that his interest is nothing but genuine.
Not all the guys in your life are assholes; think about that one good guy that's always willing to go over and beyond for you. If any guy in your life starts behaving like a jerk, remember to go through this post to learn the reason for his behavior. Please make sure you leave us a comment and share this article.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.