When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too? Who doesn’t want to know?
If there's a single way to get ahead of this knowledge, I'm ready to jump on that bandwagon …and you should too.
No doubt, this is a common heartache that plagues many people; however, knowing if there is a mutual attraction with someone is the baggage that often tags along during the first stages of any relationship.
More so, I've come to realize that mutual feelings between two people are a gamble most times; but when armed with the right information, you’ll find the much-needed insight required to further know if someone you are attracted to feels the same way.
But before further exploring what mutual attraction entails; let’s be honest – having your feelings go unreciprocated might not be the worst experience on earth, but it sure does come close. Worry not, as hope is not all lost. In fact, along with good eye contact, another sign of mutual attraction is spending time together with that person. And if you’ve already passed both stages, I’d say you’re certainly onto something.
No doubt, a lot of time, there's a handful of other nuances, attitudes, and subtle hints that pretty much let you know if someone is into you… or not. So, without further ado, let's delve right in to answer the question of ‘When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?.
- 1 When You Feel Attracted To Someone Do They Feel It Too?
- 2 How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
- 3 How Do You Tell if There is a Spark Between You?
- 4 Think About It…
- 5 To Conclude…
When You Feel Attracted To Someone Do They Feel It Too?
1. If you feel it…they probably do too!
In most cases, it is pretty obvious when someone is attracted to you. Apart from the fact that their body betrays them from time to time, their mind practically does the same. So, make no mistake; their feelings are probably a reaction to the aura you are giving off or vice versa. And most times, your gut will already give you all the signs you need to know that something is cooking. No doubt, awkward behavior will come to play if someone likes you back.
In fact, some people just don’t have the propensity to control that awkwardness and it spills out into new conversations or everyday interactions, along with text messages, emails, facetime; just consider it a whole new ballgame, especially if they are attracted to you.
It is important to note that not all reactions are etched in stone, some people might feel it and simply not react. Business will go on as usual and your feelings may or may not end up being reciprocated.
2. Their friends start acting strangely.
Not everyone has the opportunity to ‘meet the friends’, but if you do, then you’re privy to all sorts of information. They may not straight up come out to tell you, but best believe that the friends are in the know. Sure, it may seem embarrassing at this point, but it's not that big a deal unless you make it so.
Rather than shrinking under this knowledge, why not use it completely to your advantage? Also, watch out for those little tell-tale signs coming from this special someone and the people around them; if they somehow start acting weird around you, or drop subtle or not-so-subtle hints, then you may have been discovered.
What actually qualifies as strange behavior? Well, in my opinion, that is completely relative; what’s good for the goose is not usually good for the gander. On a more general note, strange behavior basically manifests itself in the form of random whispering when you talk, or prying when it comes to issues surrounding your love life.
3. Conversations are no longer the same with the person.
Let me paint a picture here; if you’ve been friends with someone for some time, somewhere along the line, you might develop romantic feelings, even if you are not sure that the relationship will transition quite well.
In an ideal situation, nothing changes; maybe they even end up together. But with all the awkwardness floating around in the universe, things tend to change. Conversations may become a little too forced, or it may go the other way and become a bit too animated. So, the next time you find yourself asking ‘when you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too’, observe the direction your conversations are taking.
4. The person starts paying closer attention to you.
In the first point, the awkwardness was the centerpiece, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, knowing that someone likes you romantically makes you pay more attention to them. It's as if you see them in a new light and are trying to gauge whether you want to spend a lot of time with them or not.
Now, if someone also starts paying close attention to you and spending a lot of time around you, perhaps they are in on the secret. In some cases, you’ll notice that they even start to let their guard down around you. Now, that’s a sure sign that they know.
How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
Unless they come out and tell you, there's no way to know for sure if it's mutual attraction. But, as I mentioned earlier, you'll have at least one sign of mutual attraction and hints that will point you in the right direction if someone likes you. And if you're like me, and can sometimes be completely oblivious, then you really need to watch out for the signs below.
1. When you’re talking, your hips face each other
According to Susan Trombetti, the CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking; when someone stands with their hips facing you, this simply means there is an attraction. They do so much without actually knowing that we’re constantly communicating, and that’s all rooted in the unconscious mind. So, the next time you're standing close to someone you like, take some time aside to observe.
Also, according to Sigmund Freud, ‘the unconscious mind comprises mental processes that are inaccessible to consciousness but that influence judgment, feelings, or behavior’. So, that certainly goes to say that there’s a truckload of stuff we do unconsciously that speaks volumes about the way we feel inside.
The next time you find yourself asking ‘when you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too’, check if you are in close proximity with the ‘supposed one’, and take some time out to look at their posture. It's even better if both of you are slightly leaning in towards each other or taking it up a notch by moving closer together with maximum eye contact.
All in all, note that body language speaks volumes and is a major sign of mutual attraction with someone. Obviously, that person won't straight up tell you how they feel but their actions will go a long way to show they are attracted.
2. They are curious about you.
Curiosity pretty much translates to ‘interest’ and if it's not there, then you really should be looking elsewhere. This is one of the best indicators that your feelings are being reciprocated. I often tell myself that if the other person isn't asking questions right from the get-go, that’s a recipe for disaster down the road. So, while you are getting to someone, take some time out to really concentrate on what the person talks about.
Do they want to know more about you? Even more, do they remember tiny bits of information that you mentioned earlier on? If they do, then bring them up later on in a conversation, you may have yourself a winner. Although it may not be life-changing information, it could just be that you got a new pair of skinny jeans or wore braces as a kid. Nevertheless, it's cute when someone takes out time to commit all these little facts about you to memory.
The next time you find yourself asking ‘when you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too,’ if you notice that the other person is really going out of their way to bring up little details you may have even forgotten, it means that they cared enough to pay close attention. It may also indicate that this special someone is already building castles in the sky and you’re the guest of honor.
3. They go out of their way to make physical contact.
Earlier, we discussed how someone you like will start spending time with you more often. Now, what if that time spent is coupled with physical contact? There’s nothing more telling that they like you. We’ve all heard the many wise sayings such as ‘Actions speak louder than words’, ‘talk is cheap’, ‘well done is better than well said’. These words all point to the same meaning – if this special someone is not doing anything, then there is really no need to stick around.
In fact, Jeannie Assimos from eharmony, believes that the most obvious indicator of mutual attraction happens to be physical touch. So, if someone finds it hard to hold hands, or involve in other more intimate acts, then there is definitely a disconnect somewhere. No doubt, the sense of touch is a lot more powerful than you think, after all, the skin is the biggest organ.
More so, when it comes to being attracted to someone, the other party will look for subtle ways to make physical contact. It may not even be sexual, just a brush of the fingertips or the act of tucking away a stray hair is a good indicator.
The next time you find yourself asking ‘when you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too’, Check for physical contact, such as slight touches. It's even better when these touches are random and happen naturally, at that point, it is guaranteed that the feelings are mutual.
And if there's also some eye contact thrown in there, you've got yourself a winner.
All in all, the universe has a way of making people that are attracted to each other randomly bump into each other now and then.
How Do You Tell if There is a Spark Between You?
Most likely, by now, you’ve past not knowing if the feelings are mutual, and you’ve finally settled on the fact that you like this special someone. But is it just a hit and miss situation or are there real sparks flying between you and that special someone? Again, you could sit and wait for verbal confirmation, and probably grow grey hair in the process. Or, you could learn to read in between the lines by looking out for the signs below.
1. You can literally feel the chemistry.
This is something that most people cannot mistake for anything else. It goes deeper than a gut feeling and manifests in the way you act, talk and feel. Have you somehow ended up finishing each other’s… sandwiches? Is eye contact taken up a notch? Well, it's all because of the chemistry, it just makes everything align and you’re constantly in sync.
Again, although both of you feel it on the inside, it manifests on the outside and people are either going to be amazed or freaked out. So, how do you really know? Well, there is really no checklist for chemistry; the sparks are there for sure and you simply will feel like you’re on cloud nine when you’re both together.
Sure, sparks are not totally dependent on chemistry but without that special something, you’ll notice that the feelings will simmer down in a blink of an eye. So, if the butterflies in your stomach do the macarena every time you come across that special someone you’re attracted to, or you can see them catch their breath when you walk into a room, those are sparks!
2. You ‘peacock’ a bit more.
Sure, appearances are not everything, especially when it comes to feelings. But, who does not like a good primping up every now and then? The truth of the matter is that we tend to dress up a lot more and look a lot nicer when there’s someone to do it for. So, if you notice that he is wearing a new aftershave, then the sparks are in the air. It is all in a bid to keep you attracted to one another.
Yes, you want to be yourself as much as possible, no one is looking to go through a whole ‘My Fair Lady’ process, but putting on a clean bra or combing your hair is a great way to show you care. You’re not just doing it for yourself, but you want to represent the other person quite well and keep them attracted.
If the other person is already at the peak of their physical attractiveness, it may be hard to know if they are amping it up for you. However, do not shy away, as there are still ways to know if they are fixing themselves up for you. For instance, do they suddenly arrange their clothes or hair when you’re in the vicinity? If so, the sparks are doing their job.
3. No one else exists.
Just because you have a new love interest doesn’t mean you should cut the rest of the world out. But there are times where you just can’t help it, and one of those times is when the sparks are flying. Any time you meet up, in public or private, your eye contact is immense and you are pretty much too focused on being attracted to each other to notice anyone or anything.
Time basically stops for both of you when you are together, and then it is suddenly not enough.
This sounds quite deep, but anyone who has been in this position can testify. This can be both exhausting and a pain in the behind because before you know it you’ll be missing the bus, missing appointments and the crazy thing is you’ll probably be laughing all through it.
It’s practically like you exist in your own pocket of time and that’s OK because things will eventually normalize. Nevertheless, it’s something that typically happens when you’re attracted to someone.
Think About It…
If you are attracted to someone; the chances are that you’ve already let it slip, and the other person might already have an inkling that there is some kind of attraction. Now, the question of ‘when you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too’ will always rear its head in such cases. So, if you want to know whether the other person has a mutual attraction, the tell-tale signs above will certainly help.
With the above information, there is really no way that you can miss the signs pointing to the fact that a special person is attracted to you too. Most times, along with eye contact, your gut will already give you all the signs you need to know that something is cooking. But, some extra reassurance before they come right out and tell you won’t hurt. Nevertheless, remember to apply a ‘different strokes for different folks’ mentality when it comes to mutual attraction.
I hope you got some much-needed information and if you did, go ahead and pass this onto other people, including oblivious friends of yours – who knows? There might be someone they are also attracted to. Even better leave me a comment below, let’s spark up some conversation.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.