There are three words that can easily be mistaken in casual relationships. You could still be at the talking stage with someone, and the ‘L’ word pops out. Does that mean that they have a strong attraction for you? Are they trying to start a relationship with you? The questions are endless but very necessary.
Finding out what a guy means when he says I love you is important. If not you’ll be left wondering about what this guy truly means. The truth is, some people casually throw the word ‘love’ around while others may have other ulterior motives for using it. However, before you start overthinking and overanalyzing the situation, let me make things easier.
Don’t rule this guy out as a douche, or start imagining the perfect romantic relationship just yet. Let’s figure out the possible reasons why a guy would say he loves you when he’s not your boyfriend, yet.
- 1 13 Possible Reasons Guys Say They Love You When You’re Not Dating
- 1.1 1. They are infatuated
- 1.2 2. He thinks of you as a close friend
- 1.3 3. He’s trying to buy time
- 1.4 4. It was an impulsive action
- 1.5 5. He’s trying to pull a fast one
- 1.6 6. He’s in love with the idea and not you
- 1.7 7. He’s trying to fast-track things
- 1.8 8. It’s a prank
- 1.9 9. He doesn’t know what love is
- 1.10 10. It seemed like the best thing to say at the time
- 1.11 11. He thinks highly of you
- 1.12 12. He wants to hear it back
- 1.13 13. He genuinely loves you
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
13 Possible Reasons Guys Say They Love You When You’re Not Dating
1. They are infatuated
Infatuation is certainly not love. According to PsychCentral, it’s an unchanging process where people have unrealistic expectations of love or passion without any development in sight. As opposed to real love, infatuation does not have values like trust, loyalty, commitment, or reciprocity.
In this case, there may be strong feelings involved no doubt. However, those feelings may not necessarily translate to love. If he loves you, those feelings will keep growing over time, however, infatuation does not last. He may think he’s falling for you, but that’s only infatuation.
2. He thinks of you as a close friend
When a guy says he loves you, he may not mean that romantically. He just sees you as a really good friend who looks out for him. Some guys don’t really stop to think about the implications of the words they say. That’s why a guy that sees you as a friend will casually or even meaningfully utter these words.
It does not mean he’s falling for you. He is just saying that he loves and appreciates you, but only as a friend. If you have been friends for long, he may not expect you to read anything into the situation.
3. He’s trying to buy time
A guy who has been around you for a while without any intention of dating could say these words. He doesn’t want you to fall in love with him, and he is certainly not in love with you. So why will he say he loves you? It’s simple, he wants to keep you around. Guys like this don’t like to feel alone, they would rather still have a mini-thing going on than nothing at all.
So, while he is not interested in dating you, he knows it’s only a matter of time before you realize that and decide to move on. So, what’s the next logical thing that comes to his mind? Admitting feelings for you that he doesn’t really have.
4. It was an impulsive action
You were both chilling at a party, club, or even a private setting. Moods were high, the vibe was lit, and those three words, ‘I love you’ popped out. He didn’t mean to say it, he may not even mean it, but it still came out. If this guy is not your boyfriend it’s possible the words just slipped out, especially when the mood was right.
People say things they don’t mean at times, however, in this case, it could mean that he does have some feelings for you. Being around you in a happy or romantic setting may have brought out his vulnerable side. And before he knew what he was doing, he said those sacred words out loud.
5. He’s trying to pull a fast one
Saying I love you just to land in a girl's bed is the oldest trick in the book. A lot of men use this card to convince a girl they are ready for a commitment when they just want good sex. This may be hard to hear, but it’s true. When a man says he loves you without even dating you first, it could mean he is trying to skip the formalities.
He doesn’t want to get to know you or fall in love with you. He just wants a quick one, or maybe a ‘friend with benefits’ situation.
6. He’s in love with the idea and not you
Some men love the idea of being committed to one person, and at this time, that person could be you. They have been in previous relationships and miss the feeling of being loved and catered to. Does this mean he will fall in love with me eventually?
You may ask. Well, that depends. Some people who just love the thought of dating someone may not be doing so for the right reasons. Plus, such relationships may not last in the long run. He may be forcing himself to liquor love you, and once he can’t do that anymore, that will be the end.
7. He’s trying to fast-track things
He has been asking you out, being Mr. Nice guy, and practically pulling out all the stops, all to no avail. When men are trying to woo a lady and things seem to be going slower than expected, they may pull out the ‘I love you card’. Probably the man thinks that saying those words will convince you that he is for real.
8. It’s a prank
People can be funny, annoying, manipulative, and inconsiderate. Notice how that went from one to a hundred so quickly? That’s because human beings can be that way too. One moment a guy could just be a casual friend. Then the very next moment, he is accepting a dare from his friends, or even himself to say those words.
He may do it just to make you laugh, or to check if he had the guts to do so in the first place. It may not be a serious prank, but he will want to see your reaction. That’s the point of every prank right?
9. He doesn’t know what love is
Unfortunately, not every man knows what love is. Some of them are either not mature or knowledgeable enough on the subject. He may say this not knowing the effects of his words, or just because he can.
10. It seemed like the best thing to say at the time
Some men desperately want to love a woman. When she’s smart, pretty, loving, confident, mysterious, and more, it just seems right to love her. It’s possible that this guy really likes you, and loves your personality even more. But it’s also possible that he’s not there yet in terms of being in love.
However, when he is trying his best to love you, it may seem right to say it out anyway. He wants someone like you in his life, so why not say he loves you until his feelings match his words?
11. He thinks highly of you
A guy who is fascinated by your personality could tell you he loves you. This does not mean he does so in a romantic way, he just loves how you act and carry yourself. Thanks to the casual way the words ‘ I love you’ are used today, many people say it without thinking.
Plus, you have to be smart enough when someone says that as a compliment or in appreciation of something you have done.
12. He wants to hear it back
Let’s check out this scenario; this man just got out of a relationship, he’s heartbroken and probably looking for a rebound. He may not mean any harm, he just wants to hear those words said to him so he can feel loved and cherished.
Maybe he is close to you and even fancies you a little. So it may seem right for him to ‘affectionately’ say he loves you, with the hopes of hearing those same words too.
13. He genuinely loves you
Some men are not conventional, they won’t wait for the perfect dinner or the perfect timing to say ‘I love you’. When they realize that they truly love you, they may admit that fact even without dating you. To them, what’s the point of wasting time or waiting to date you when they know how they feel?
If you also have feelings for this person, it’s still best to wait and observe them. You may actually start dating in the nearest future.
When a guy tells you he loves you, it could be a good sign of a future union. However, that is not always the case. Sometimes, what a guy means is very different from what he says. This could be because he truly can’t come to terms with what he’s feeling, or he has ulterior motives.
Some guys will tell you they love you just to reap the ‘physical and sexual benefits of doing so. But, there are some guys that truly mean what they say and have fallen in love with you in reality.
It’s possible that such a guy has commitment issues. So in this case, you are not the problem, he just doesn’t want to commit to anybody. At the same time, this may also be a ploy to keep things casual while still reaping the benefits of commitment.
In other words, he wants your companionship and possibly sexual intimacy, but without any implicating name tags. Be careful with such people, they could easily leave you with a broken heart at any time.
There are many reasons why a guy would say I love you without meaning it. Some of the reasons are listed below.
1. He is trying to fast-track things.
2. He wants a fast hook-up.
3. He’s trying to buy time.
4. He feels like he is losing you.
5. He’s trying to make you feel good.
6. He felt it was the right thing to do at the time.
7. He’s under pressure. (by you)
8. He was intoxicated.
There are other reasons a man would say I love you without meaning it. It’s actually very normal and can happen to anyone.
Any man can tell you he loves you. Rather than getting fazed by that, it’s best to take out some weeks to study him. Most guys tell ladies they love them just to get in their pants.
So, try to hold out on the physical side and watch him closely. Do his actions back up his words? Is he honestly trying to be more involved in your life, or is he always just complimenting your looks and body? Men that are honest about loving you will show it and not just say it. Plus, they won’t only be focused on taking you to bed.
A man that is leading you on won’t talk about a future with you. Everything he says and does will be for ‘the now’. He’ll try his best to make promises on commitment, but take his sweet time to follow through on them.
You’ll also notice inconsistencies in his actions. He may be there for you today, and bail on you for the next three. That’s because he has more than one option, but doesn’t want to lose you just yet.
To Sum Up
I hope you enjoyed reading through this list? I know how confusing it can be to have a guy say that he loves you when you’re not dating yet. Remember, if you are still having a hard time figuring him out, just give it time.
Don’t respond just yet and don’t get physical if you actually want to date him. If he truly means what he says, you’ll consciously notice that he’s telling the truth over time.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.