It's me, I was a side piece! I know, tragic story but I can explain. Nobody ever wants to be in that situation. The goal is to be the main baby girl in the relationship. However, we women get played by men often. No doubt, there are a few of us who (in my opinion) are wired differently. They don’t mind being with a man who likes multiple women. Not me, that's for sure.
Just like you, I want to be taken (but not for granted) as I recently was. Being a side piece is equivalent to being the side-chick, and it’s common knowledge that side-chicks are hidden mistresses who never come home or post pictures with the man. The main chick must just never know about her.
When I found out I was a side piece, of course, I was not thrilled but did I see signs prior to the big notice? Yes! I never took the flags seriously. It’s already unfair to be the only committed partner in a relationship. Being a side piece on top of that is nothing but tragic.
Finding an equal emotional connection with a person is magical and everyone deserves that kind of romance. In this article, I would share the eleven signs I missed. It’ll help you tell whether or not you’re a side piece. I wish someone wrote this out for me.
- 1 11 Signs You Are His Side Piece
- 1.1 1. He doesn’t take you home
- 1.2 2. Out of sight out of mind
- 1.3 3. Never shares valuable information
- 1.4 4. You can’t touch his phone
- 1.5 5. He never spends enough time
- 1.6 6. He guards against PDA
- 1.7 7. There’s no relationship tag
- 1.8 8. He’s 97% sexual
- 1.9 9. You must text before calling
- 1.10 10. You don’t know his friends
- 1.11 11. Communication is scheduled
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
11 Signs You Are His Side Piece
1. He doesn’t take you home
It doesn’t take a soothsayer for you to recognize this flag and flee from that man. There’s a chance he’s embarrassed about the way his house looks but how long can he keep that up? If he doesn’t ever take you home, there’s something he’s hiding and it’s most likely a woman.
This is one of the first signs you would see of his other woman living in the same city as him. For men that live far away from the woman they’re cheating on, this isn’t such a strong point.
After about three months of dating, you should at least know where the man lives, not his words alone.
2. Out of sight out of mind
A lot of women have been brainwashed with words to believe this is a true statement, it’s not! It hardly matters where you are in the world if a man is interested in you he will make the effort to reach out, whether he sees you around or not.
So darling, if that man has a habit of disappearing when he leaves your house or the moment you separate, he’s definitely giving his attention to something else and it’s most likely a woman. Don’t fall into the habit of being the first to call or send a text. Sometimes, give him space to see if he reaches out to you randomly as well.
Men are very dependent human beings, especially emotionally. They tend to express themselves easily in words to the woman they love for comfort. Watch out for the kinds of conversations you’re having with this man? Is it only sexual? Is he rather concerned about information about you rather than giving valuable information about himself as well?
Women are known to be the safe haven for men. Does he act this way around you? Not that you may be a solace but still be a side chick so watch for other flags in comparison with this one. A man who’s too careful about what he shares with you doesn’t trust you and if he doesn’t, why’s he here?
4. You can’t touch his phone
This is a popular “no-no” for most men, even women too. They usually say going through your partner’s mobile phone is at your own risk. If you can’t touch his phone, it’s an obvious sign he’s hiding another life from you. Especially those hush phone calls he’d rather take outside than let you hear even a bit of the conversation.
Men who live this secretive life are most likely hiding another woman from you or you from another woman. This sign should point you to the fastest exit out of the relationship. You don’t have to think twice about this. To some extent, you should be able to use your partner’s phone without I’m breathing down your throat.
5. He never spends enough time
With this type of man, quality time is a myth. How can he satisfy both women? It’s almost impossible. The time spent with either of you would always have to be scheduled and one more than the other. You can’t catch him in your free time unless he says it is.
It’s impossible to surprise him at work or in any comfort zone of his. If whenever he’s with you he’s still conscious of time there’s something he wants to get back to. For some men, it’s a work distraction but oftentimes, there’s a woman involved.
6. He guards against PDA
If you’re with a man that doesn’t want to hold your hand, kiss you or show you off in public, there’s a huge problem. I don’t care about love language when it comes to this. If you’re ashamed to hang out with me in the open, you might as well find yourself another girl.
Over fifty percent of the time, he doesn’t want to hang with you publicly because he’s afraid someone may recognize him and he’d get caught cheating on his main girl. Every woman deserves a man who is proud of her and always ready to show her off to the world.
7. There’s no relationship tag
A man who is using you as a side chick would come up with all the excuses in the world not to give your relationships a tag. Either he’s not ready for that, or you live too far, that he’s saving you up for marriage, or some other silly excuse.
As soon as feelings get involved, ask them simple direct questions about the status of your relationships. If they cannot give you a solid answer in plain words, they’re messing around. Men usually know who they want to be from the beginning; it hardly ever comes to them as a surprise. Don’t be afraid to not be chosen, being a side chick is way worse.
8. He’s 97% sexual
The truth is, as his side girl, there really might not be more to you than sex. This is because he doesn’t expect much from you, and nor does he respect you. Every time you both meet, it’s a quick hookup and then he’s gone.
He would rather sway you with words about sex if he has to have a conversation with you. And no matter how much you try to start on a fresh topic, he still leads it right back to sex.
Be very careful of men like these. Apart from having you as a side chick, he could be a very dangerous man. Start withdrawing from him as fast as you can. This relationship is not worth what you think you feel. There’s more to life than just sex.
9. You must text before calling
Have you ever questioned why it is a laid down rule that you have to text your man for permission to call him? You probably thought it was him being principled. However, he’s likely dating two women at the same time. This means he has to be in a position to talk to you before a conversation can happen.
Alternatively, he doesn’t want you calling when the other woman is with him. A man that gives you conditions like this is definitely playing with you and you deserve much better darling.
10. You don’t know his friends
If your man has never introduced you to his friends then his love is a scam of words. Why would you be a secret he’s keeping from his family and friends if he cares about you? He’s definitely cheating and you are not the main chick in that triangle.
Always do a background check on men you meet. Ask about his friends and family. Even though friends gang up on the “guy code”, you’d definitely smell something fishy in a group than with him alone.
11. Communication is scheduled
A committed partner would never pick and choose the times to speak or have any relationship with you. It’s a sign that he doesn’t want you interfering with his real life and is dating more than one person at the same time.
The side piece is similar to a side chick and sometimes the term is used interchangeably. There’s usually the main woman in a man’s life whilst the one on the side is like a mistress.
Being a side chick of a rich old sugar daddy is the ideal thing for some young women as long as the money keeps coming in. It’s quite embarrassing to be called a side chick, it’s low standards for any woman at all.
In a relationship, if your man has a side girl, it means there’s another hidden mistress he’s having sex with. Most men feel that they’re entitled to side pieces after dating a while; so much that it’s no longer classified under cheating but as a norm.
Some men even go as far as saying it’s impossible to not have a side piece—solely for private entertainment and to maintain sanity once in a while.
According to the points I’ve laid out above, he would be giving you as much attention as he should be if you were the main babe. Sometimes. you may not notice the lack of attention but the strong desire for privacy would stink up the place.
You know you’re a side piece when they’re way too many “ don'ts”. It’s also obvious you’re a side piece when your relationship has no solid title. If as long as you’re out of his sight you’re out of his mind, then you’re not the main babe honey.
Being a sidepiece is the worst thing that could happen to a lady who is giving her all to a man. It’s only a good thing for the girls who bag rich old men and make big bucks out of them for sex and company.
I’m yet to hear of anything worse or more disgraceful for both parties (man and woman) than being a sidepiece. Side pieces are like crumbs of bread, not the main bread. Does that sound good to you?
You can stop being a side piece by first ending that relationship. You can hardly win in it as a side chick, and even if you do, how long would that last? Keep in mind, that some men are scum.
Start demanding your worth and don’t settle for what you get. You stop being a side piece when you look out for the quality of men you date, I know you can’t tell by the face but you can still do your own research after a guy you like walks up to you.
Anyone can fall a victim to the sidepiece saga. At the same time, what matters is how you get back up after that. I hope you enjoyed this article as much as I did writing it for you. I’d love to read your comments below, please write them in the comment box, and don’t forget to share them with your friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.