For girls, it’s absolutely nothing to hold hands with our best friends. Walking through a crowd, comforting each other, or even if you are just together and you need that source of human touch. Holding hands has been scientifically proven to build bonds between two people closer together.
But men are not the same. While some countries and cultures find that men holding hands with each other is completely normal, in some areas (mostly the United States) masochism, masculinity has been made into a stigma, and men are raised with quite a different point of view. In the states, you won’t find a guy holding hands with a girl unless he is getting something out it. Most men don’t hold hands with other men, and they usually don’t hold hands with their female friends unless they are very close, or they are something more for him.
- 1 Many Relationships Start With Hands Holding
- 2 A Personal Story
- 3 What Does It Mean When A Guy Holds A Woman’s Hand?
- 4 Holding Hands Is Just One Of Many Signs That He Wants More
- 5 FAQs
- 6 On That Note…
Many Relationships Start With Hands Holding
Not everyone has been blessed with the confidence of a stallion. And many men today, are bound by machoism stigma, being raised that showing signs that they need comfort or affection is weakness. And then, of course, you have guys who know how to manipulate women by doing all the right things, including a simple little shy gesture as taking your hand.
And it seems crazy, but something so simple can drive a woman (or a man) into a state of confusion. Do they like you? Is it a sign they want something more? Or were they just being nice? Were they just nervous or anxious and needed the comfort of someone familiar touching the? Or are they just trying to trick you into ticking one more notch in their belt? Luckily for us, body language is straight forward.
You can pretty much tell how a person feels by their body language, especially when they touch you, better than you can with even words. For example, I will let you guys in on a personal story of my own relationship, and how it started with a simple
A Personal Story
My man is a Scorpio, and everyone knows that Scorpios unless they have found true love, are pretty much known to be ‘players.’ They know what to do when to do it and how to do it just right. They are quite well known for their sexual skillsets, and the mass of broken hearts they leave in their wake.
As a Taurus female, I was very wary of my Scorpio love when I first began to date him. A Taurus is afraid of rejection no matter the situation. I could tell he was operating me, I could see through it. The worst part is I knew I was impressed. I had felt an instant connection with him, but the problem was I had no clue if he felt that way about me. So through our first night together, I allowed him to try his usual stunts, but I tried to keep myself pretty much unreadable (after all this time, he still complains he has a hard time reading me – and that I am still very guarded).
By the end of the night, we were watching a movie together at his house, and I had kept myself safely in my own lane, not willing to put myself at risk. But then all of a sudden, I felt fingertips very gently touch mine. They lingered there, and hesitated, and almost pulled away until I put my hand in his, and allowed him to hold my hand. It was the first genuine, from the heart move that he had tried all night, and I could tell by how slow and gently that he genuinely did want to hold my hand.
Later he told me he realized that I was different, and his usual moves that impressed all of his temporary lady suitors were not working on me, and he needed to try something different and slow. He was glad that I was different, that I didn’t throw myself at him as all the others had done before.
We laughed as we talked about our ages, and how two grown adults found true love that started as little kids would, holding hands in the dark while watching a movie. To this day, we still sometimes hold hands and when we do, words are never needed to know how we feel about each other.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Holds A Woman’s Hand?
It’s crazy to think that in some places, like India, men and women who are of legal age are not allowed to hold hands unless they are married. So if you are in a place where your boyfriend-to-be is allowed to shyly take your hand as a safe gesture of intimacy, count your lucky stars.
In today’s modern world, new and budding love has all kinds of obstacles in the way. People do not communicate as they did before when times were simple and people weren’t afraid to be upfront and honest. You have media, social groupings, stigmas and so many other things that make a person cringe at the thought of rejection and making the first move towards a relationship when they are unsure if their loved one has the same affection for them.
So when a man goes to hold a hand of someone else, more than likely it’s a sign that he likes you. And there could be a lot of reasons why he starts out holding your hand, instead of leaning in for a magical first kiss.
1. He is scared of rejection or shy
A lot of men won’t admit this outright, but they are just as scared of rejection as women. What holding hands means to a guy is a lot deeper for most than what we usually give them credit for. Holding your hand is a safe way for him to express his interest, and it feels ‘safer’ than risking being rejected when going in for a kiss. If you are not an official couple yet, it’s a great way for a shy person to kickstart a relationship and a great sign that you may be headed for Upendi.
2. He may not like public displays of affection
I personally love it when my man shows displays of affection out in public. I want him to show everyone that I belong to him, and I want every girl to know that he is mine. But not every couple is the same. Every couple has their own sets of rules, comforts, discomforts, and ‘no-go zones’ for their relationship. PDA is something that varies from person to person.
Sometimes, when a couple has a lot of discomforts expressing their intimacy in front of people, holding hands is a great way for them to feel connected, and let each other know how they feel, without feeling as if everyone is staring at them. It’s important to respect your loved one if they have PDA issues, even if that means settling for subtle gestures of love in public that are as simple as brushing your fingers against his.
3. The odd chance that he is a player
I’ve never led you wrong, and I am not about to start. Sometimes a man has no interest in starting a real relationship with you, and taking your hand in his is simply a means to an end: getting whatever he wants from you. And this can be worrisome and can lead to confusion, especially if you genuinely like him.
Pay attention to his body language. While he may know what to do to make it look like he is enthralled with you, body language does not lie. Follow your gut. If it feels wrong, or cold, or empty, you will know. That is how you will figure out if this relationship you are hoping for is going in the right direction.
Genuine feelings of attraction can be faked with words and actions, but human contact will reveal everything you need to know. Pay attention to how he initiates the contact, and how he holds hands with you.
4. He is testing the waters
Remember men are not machines, even though they try to display the emotional range of one. They get just as confused about their feelings as we do ours. Holding your hand may be a way for him to figure out if he genuinely likes you or not. The first few times of human contact with another person can be very revealing, even if it is just holding hands.
When a new couple holds hands for the first few times, it could be awkward, as it usually is the first form of intimate contact in a relationship. Time will tell how the relationship will go, just be patient, and try holding hands in several different ways. Also, the way that a couple holds hands, how they interlace their fingers or grip onto each other’s hands can tell a lot about the relationship between two people.
Holding Hands Is Just One Of Many Signs That He Wants More
If you found your way to this article because your love interest took your hand and you’re now confused and reeling, just be calm and think about your circumstances with your loved one. Does he do other things that show you he likes you? It honestly shouldn’t be that confusing, because one thing is for sure: men do not initiate unneeded contact.
For guys, one hello or goodbye hug between friends is about all they need. But if he is taking your hand and holding onto it, you can be pretty sure that he’s into you, especially if he’s around you often.
For the most part, yes! A man does not hold hands with just anyone, even if they are a female. If he holds your hands, it usually means he wants a deeper connection with you, he’s comfortable around you, and touching you makes him happy.
When a guy interlocks his fingers with yours, he’s holding your hand in a way that says “I really like you. I want to touch more of you.” When holding hands, the interlocking of the fingers signals to other people that they are in love, they are in a relationship, and that this couple is very close.
For the most part, hand holding is intimate. But there are other circumstances where we may hold hands with someone we are not close with. Helping someone get to somewhere, guiding them through a crowd, or displaying unity in a protest.
These are all just some examples of how holding hands could not be intimate. But if you are a couple or if you are two people who are very close, holding hands is one of the many ways you can express your feelings for one another. How and who you hold hands is going to tell you a lot about your relationship.
Yes! Thanks to masculinity stigmas, it’s easy to forget that men love non-sexual signs intimacy. But they like to feel loved just as much as we do. This means that cuddling, hand holding, and little sweet nothings mean just as much to them as it does to girls.
I know that my man has no problem letting me know when I am slacking on the affection in our relationship, and as a couple, it’s so important to work together to make sure that you both are having your needs met by each other. Being a couple is continuous work, so don’t ever stop reaching for each other’s hands.
Men operate way differently than women. Most women, cannot bring themselves to display true signs of intimacy to someone they are not attracted to. But men can go all the way, which means they are able to kiss and hold hands without genuine feelings. And some of them use these things as a weapon.
You can tell the difference by paying attention to how the connection feels. If it feels wrong, it is one ginormous sign he’s not truly interested in you or a relationship, but rather something you have that he wants. Or maybe, you’re not interested in him as much as you thought you were.
On That Note…
I hope you enjoyed this article, and if you want other girls to be less confused about holding hands -share this article with them! And if your love story began with the simple entwining of fingers, we want to hear it. After all, we are all suckers for good love stories.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.