At the beginning of every relationship, it is all love in the air. Your partner could do no wrong in your eyes. Life is good, and love is sweet. The relationship is beautiful and everything your partner does is endearing. This is what is known as the ‘Honeymoon phase’. It is that early stage of the relationship when the relationship is filled with lots of happiness, intimacy, and love.
But everything in this life comes in parts, and it gets to a point where that honeymoon phase ends. And when it ends, how do partners manage to deal with the reality? Not all people who are dating experience the honeymoon phase.
Some people experience it for a long while, for others, it is quite short. Some people do not even experience it at all. This phase happens per the relationship between the couple. That being said, most couples enjoy this phase no matter how long or short the duration.
However, one question remains paramount: What happens after the honeymoon stage of a relationship? Here are 17 things to expect after the first stage of the relationship in the short term and long run.
- 1 17 Things To Expect After The Honeymoon Phase Of The Relationship
- 1.1 1. Expect the fights
- 1.2 2. You realize that everything is not so perfect after all
- 1.3 3. You get tired of your spouse
- 1.4 4. Honesty
- 1.5 5. Infrequent Dates
- 1.6 6. You are comfortable around your partner
- 1.7 7. Responsibilities galore
- 1.8 8. You learn to trust each other
- 1.9 9. No need to impress the parents
- 1.10 10. You learn to live with each other
- 1.11 11. You get to see your partner at their worst
- 1.12 12. You share your lives with each other
- 1.13 13. Your union will change you
- 1.14 14. You learn to appreciate the little things
- 1.15 15. You learn how to love
- 1.16 16. You learn to support your spouse
- 1.17 17. Maturity
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
17 Things To Expect After The Honeymoon Phase Of The Relationship
1. Expect the fights
Now that reality has dawned on you, and the love scales have fallen from your eyes, you get to realize their flaws. This could be in the way your partner thinks or his perception and mindset about certain things. And especially, if you have different opinions, there are bound to be lots of fights between you two.
For instance; you are a woman who got married to a husband who believes that a woman needs to sit at home and attend to his needs. However, you do not want to be a housewife. When he was a boyfriend, he seemed the perfect gentleman and used to say, you were never meant to work but you thought it was just plain romantic talk.
Now, you are both married, and he expects you to leave your job, which you love so much. You love the career you have built so much. S, you don’t think you are willing to sacrifice it to stay at home and serve your husband. He is mad. You are annoyed. There is a constant tension in the house.
This, and many other problems, seem to be the order of the day after the love drug (which created perfection in your eyes) has been washed away.
2. You realize that everything is not so perfect after all
Another eye-opener after the first stage is that everything is not so great after all. When asked about your married life, you realize that your answer is not based on the intimacy you may experience in the relationship. But you also do not want people to think you are really going through it. “Everything is fine” is your go-to reply, even though deep down you know that it is not.
3. You get tired of your spouse
It is very common to get tired of your spouse after the sweet stage in the relationship. During the honeymoon phase, you observed that you both couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You were all in each other’s spaces and the romance was lively. Then you thought it would be a good idea to always be together because you both “love” each other so much.
But once married life came into the picture, so came boredom. Somehow, the mystery you used to see in your spouse at the earlier points in your relationship is no longer there. You realize that it was lust at work masquerading as love in the relationship. That love rush that used to happen to you when he or she is around has suddenly disappeared.
Now, you are beginning to wonder whether you even had a bond with your partner. You are also asking why you got married to him or her in the first place.
After the sweet stage, you get to experience the true personality of your partner. It is very easy to pull up a façade when in a relationship with someone. However, after spending some time with the person, it is easy to realize their true selves.
Unless you are in an abusive relationship, it is very easy for you to speak honestly on issues with each other, even if it hurts and seems like you both cannot talk about it.
5. Infrequent Dates
After the honeymoon phase, you realize that dates may not be as frequent as they used to be in the relationship earlier on. And unless the two parties make a deliberate effort to spice up their relationship, there would be no dates. This could lead to a dull relationship. It is quite understandable that being an adult happens to us all.
However, if partners in a relationship decide to leave things to fate, their union is bound to end quicker than expected.
6. You are comfortable around your partner
It is quite possible that even during the honeymoon phase, you happen to be walking on tenterhooks. But after the honeymoon, you two get so comfortable around each other. It is easy to joke about bodily functions like farts and so on.
There is that free air between you two you don’t have to hold anything in literally. This is because the parts that had to do with discomfort went away at the end of the honeymoon.
7. Responsibilities galore
After the honeymoon phase, it is then goodbye to fairy tales and hello to reality. Most young people think that marriage is a time when they finally get together as a couple and it is a “happily ever after” tale. Well, the fact is, every couple has to put in the effort to create the “happily ever after” ending they so want to live.
This, therefore, involves responsibilities one has to undertake to make the relationship work. This involves undertaking responsibilities in different areas of the relationship: financial, emotional, physical, etc. Once there is interest, the couple can make the relationship work.
8. You learn to trust each other
You will get to realize that all relationships require trust to work. You may not have gotten the memo early on in your previous relationships, but after the honeymoon phase, you will realize it soon enough.
So for instance, your spouse does not know how to manage the house whenever you are away. So, even though you do not trust your spouse to manage the house to your expectation, you are going to have to give him or her the benefit of the doubt.
Marriage is a partnership, and in every healthy partnership, there is the need for trust to exist. Without this, the union is bound to fail from the beginning. It is, therefore, necessary you get this mindset very early on in the relationship, after your honeymoon phase is a great start.
9. No need to impress the parents
I bet you remember when you were going to introduce your would-be spouse to your parents or the other way round. I guess you remember the nervous look on their face or even yours if you ever saw it. You kept bringing up the constant anxious questions of “Do you think they would like me?”, “How do you think I can impress them?” and so on.
After the honeymoon, that bridge has been crossed.
And even though you are courteous to your partner’s parents, you don’t feel that you need to overly impress them.
10. You learn to live with each other
Like it or not, after the honeymoon, you are both stuck with each other. The best you can do is to learn to tolerate and live with each other. For instance, if you happen to be a lady living with a messy husband or the other way round, you two are going to have to find a way to live around it. This should be the case so that you two do not end up hating yourselves over the least things.
11. You get to see your partner at their worst
After the honeymoon ends, you get to see your partner at their worst. In the instance of a lady, her husband gets to see her without her makeup and sexy sweatpants. This is not only limited to physical appearances. Emotionally, you get to experience your spouse. When your spouse is hurt, does he or she withdraw? Do they want to talk about it? Do they keep grudges?
How about when he or she is angry, what do they do? It is very easy to overlook all these at the beginning of the relationship and into the honeymoon. And it is also very easy for anyone to keep up with the pretense but it cannot happen forever. The time for the unveiling of this behavioral mask is usually at the end of the honeymoon phase.
After the sweet stage, it is quite clear that sometimes you two are all you have got. While it is true that you all have your friends, you cannot keep running to your friends all the time. You however live in the same place as your spouse and he is bound to be affected by whatever may be going on with you. It would be unethical to hide things from your spouse.
If you can sleep in the same bed with your partner in the same bedroom, then it is quite obvious you trust him or her. If that is the case, why would you trust your spouse with your body and not whatever may be bothering you? Why did you decide to get into marriage with such a person?
13. Your union will change you
Who you decide to spend time with can have a huge impact on the path your life will take. If you find yourself in a healthy relationship, chances are you are bound to have a positive outlook on life in general. On the contrary, if you happen to be in a bad marriage, it is bound to scar you for life. The sad part is you may not immediately realize it as it is a gradual process.
One thing is however certain, that path to your positive or negative path in life begins the moment that honeymoon ends. It is imperative however that you will face struggles in your relationship. How you and your partner are able to survive would prove whether you are in a negative relationship or a positive one. So, be kind to yourself and pick a good struggle.
14. You learn to appreciate the little things
After the first stage, you get to appreciate the little things in the long term. This is because growth happens and you look and realize the many things you took for granted when you were younger. You get to appreciate having time for yourself, enjoying your singlehood, having fun out with friends, etc. Many young girls especially are in a hurry to get married.
But getting into such a relationship is a big decision with lasting effects. Half of the time, people do not get to experience the dream life they have been wanting since their childhood.
15. You learn how to love
As you go through problems, you get to realize that the way you love changes. Love is not all about romance and lust. You get to realize that the definition of love is broader than you ever thought. It is the experiences that take place after the end of the honeymoon that would teach you this.
16. You learn to support your spouse
After the honeymoon, the sooner you realize you are stuck in the relationship with your husband or wife, the faster you’ll become a team player and support your partner. It is said that what you give out, you receive. In that same vein, there will be a time when you realize that you have to carry the burden for the family.
And there would definitely be moments where you will realize that your partner is carrying the burdens where it appears your strength is failing. This happens at the end of the honeymoon in the long term.
Again, after the end of the honeymoon phase in relationships, in the long term, you become mature. This is so because you may have through many experiences to have the necessary experience. Equipped with this knowledge and new maturity, you apply the wisdom you have learned in subsequent endeavors in your life.
After the honeymoon phase, this is when the fights begin and couples might begin going through difficulties in relationships. It is at this point that they start to question why they even got married in the first place. Arguments, on either big issues or small, become the order of the day. When this happens, tasks that you two could not wait to do now seem like a bore.
You know the honeymoon phase is over when your eyes open to your partner’s flaws. They are not so perfect in your sight anymore. This is because reality has dawned on you. When this happens, you begin to realize the problems associated with your spouse, and then you wonder why you never saw those issues before.
When that happens, you two begin to have arguments all the time and there seem to be difficulties in the relationship.
Even though a lot of romantic movies and series productions tell us that this feeling will last forever, the love feeling can exist for two to three years at most.
According to sources, after four months, 25% of American couples move in together and 50% of them move in after dating for a year. The analysis however said that 70% of them have moved in by two years.
I, however, suggest that you take your time and move in by the second year. This is to ensure that you at least have sufficient knowledge about who you are dating before you move in.
Before I sign out, the above discussed points are things you ought to expect after your honeymoon phase. As you read above, it does not seem to be all sunshine and rainbows. Rather, it is a point of transition into another. It is, therefore, prudent you manage your expectations after your honeymoon.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know what you think, and please share this piece.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.