Many people wonder what changes when you finally get married. What happens to your sex life? What are the differences you see upon marriage? Why should I get married? What’s the difference between having a marriage license and forgoing getting a marriage certificate altogether? What does it really matter?
In today’s article, we are going to look at the differences that take place once you get that marriage certificate, how your life will change with a marriage license, and what the big deal is with marriage. How does it affect everything in your life? What happens when you have children? Are children a blessing, or do they cause your credit score to drop?
Many of these answers will be revealed to you once you undergo the transformation of becoming a bride or groom. I can’t answer them all because the answers and success of marriage depend on the couples’ commitment to the sanctity of marriage and their different situations. Everyone is different; not all couples will experience marriage in the same way.
Are you ready to get started talking about all the changes you may experience in marriage? Let’s get started!
- 1 The Ways Marriage Changes a Couple
- 1.1 1. You have new responsibilities
- 1.2 2. You begin sharing with each other in new ways
- 1.3 3. You see your spouse’s good and bad habits
- 1.4 4. You spend a lot more time together
- 1.5 5. Your housekeeping duties change
- 1.6 6. You get to know your husband or wife really well
- 1.7 7. You may notice more conflict in the relationship
- 1.8 8. You are more vulnerable with your partner
- 1.9 9. Your attitude of what a wife or husband should do changes
- 1.10 10. You think about your spouse more
- 1.11 11. You try harder to make the relationship work
- 1.12 12. Your time in the relationship flies by
- 1.13 13. You celebrate holidays in new ways
- 1.14 14. You have a person to count on in cases of emergency
- 1.15 15. You stop having to date around
- 1.16 16. You might let yourself go a little bit
- 1.17 17. You find more time to laugh together as a married couple
- 1.18 18. You spend less time with your friends
- 1.19 19. You forgive or compromise more than you thought you would
- 1.20 20. You care about their well-being more
- 1.21 21. You live in the same place as them
- 1.22 22. Your sex life is different
- 1.23 23. You give them more attention
- 1.24 24. You can show your weird side to them
- 1.25 25. You tell them all of your secrets
- 1.26 26. You have a greater amount of intimacy
- 1.27 27. You do more things together as a couple
- 1.28 28. Your utility bills are higher
- 1.29 29. You believe you have found the person of your dreams
- 1.30 30. You fight in different ways
- 1.31 31. You listen more
- 2 Why Some Spouses Have Issues With Marriage
- 3 How To Adjust As A Married Couple
- 4 FAQs
- 5 To Conclude
The Ways Marriage Changes a Couple
Many couples do not understand the things that change with marriage. Getting married just means you are completely committed to the person you have joined together in marriage with. You may have thought once you got married, everything would be better, but that isn’t always the case. Once you get married, your life becomes completely different.
There are some things that change that you can expect, such as having a new name, a joint bank account, or a nice wedding album. However, other things that change are unexpected in your relationship. After the wedding, it’s not always perfect, as some women believe. These women think the man of their dreams will be picture-perfect after the wedding.
Once you smell his dirty socks or clean his side of the bed, you learn that the man from the wedding is not perfect. Couples that work through their issues regarding marriage have a greater chance of success. These couples realize that differences are okay, that arguing is normal, and that marriage is not perfect for women or men. Let’s explore more about this!
1. You have new responsibilities
Once you get married, you may find that your responsibilities increase considerably. Who will feed the pets? Who will set up the joint bank account? How will you pay off your debt? Who will make the coffee in the morning? What will happen if one of you gets sick and is bed-ridden? Who will take care of the chores in the house if that happens?
Many things may not go as expected once you get married, so be ready for the twists and turns, and try to take them with a smile. You can survive the worst situations that life throws your way; you just need to have faith in your spouse and his or her abilities to cope with life. Work together as a team to solve any problems that come toward you.
2. You begin sharing with each other in new ways
You might share a bathroom, living room, kitchen, and bedroom; most couples do have to share living quarters with one another. This can be quite an adjustment if you have been single and alone your entire life. Some people even share toothbrushes and coffee cups! I personally wouldn’t take things that far, but your relationship will surprise you!
Be ready to open up your heart to a new person in new ways. Show him or her that you love them by sharing your sentiments and feelings. It’s good for a marriage to grow, and this can happen when two people agree to share their lives with one another. Be open and honest about yourself with your spouse, and your marriage will flourish.
3. You see your spouse’s good and bad habits
Yes, it’s true that there will be very annoying habits you have to witness once you have entered a marriage. How does he blow his nose? Why does he still bite his fingernails? Does he pick his nose or something like that? All of these things are small in comparison to the big stuff that happens in life, but you still have to get used to them!
When something annoys you, think about the many wonderful things your spouse does to make you happy, and those annoying habits will pale in comparison (hopefully)! Put a positive spin on everything to watch your marriage grow in new and exciting ways.
4. You spend a lot more time together
You probably never in your life imagined you would spend so much time with one person! On the weekends or on vacations, you two are always together. You must get along and really like each other, or you will find yourself in a miserable situation! Find things that the two of you have in common, things you can share with one another!
5. Your housekeeping duties change
There will be more laundry, more dishes, and more dirt in your home and life! You may wonder why you didn’t think of this before (this change that happens with marriage). Why do the two of you make such a mess, and more importantly, who is going to clean it up? Who will be responsible for the kitchen? Who will do the laundry?
It might be smart to designate chores for each person in the marriage. Decide who will be responsible for what, or take turns doing each chore. If you split the duties or make some kind of fair arrangement, you will surely be happy with the way your life turns out!
6. You get to know your husband or wife really well
Maybe you dated this person for ten years. Maybe you dated them for three months. Either way, when you say those wedding vows, your life will change because you will get to know this person in a whole new way. How do they handle certain negative or positive situations? What do they do in a crisis? How can you best calm them down?
Enjoy getting to know your spouse! Learn all about them, so you can create the best life possible for the two of you! You will be so happy you have a positive attitude about the changes marriage throws your way!
7. You may notice more conflict in the relationship
Unfortunately, when you are around someone day and night, you get on each other’s nerves from time to time. It’s hard not to be annoyed at times. Maybe you feel like he doesn’t listen to you or show affection for you in the way that you wish he would. If you have trouble in your relationship, you should seek the counsel of a family therapist.
8. You are more vulnerable with your partner
You will reveal your innermost secrets, wishes, ambitions, thoughts, and triumphs. Marriage gives you a chance to really be who you really are, even if you aren’t sure of who that is yet. Sometimes, you get the chance in marriage to grow as a new person, and your spouse can witness this change in you! Be open with your spouse!
9. Your attitude of what a wife or husband should do changes
Some girls have fairy tales in their minds about what a husband should do. Often, these girls grow up and realize that their fairy tale, their dream of what they thought a husband should be, has changed. You may find, if you open your mind, that your husband is the man of your dreams. You just hadn’t dreamed this particular dream yet!
10. You think about your spouse more
You need to know when he gets off work, what he’s up to, when he will be home for dinner, and how his day is going. All of it is part of growing in a marriage. Your spouse may be on your mind more than you would have thought. Just be sure to give him any space he needs to regroup before coming home; it will make for a happy husband!
11. You try harder to make the relationship work
When you are dating, it’s easy to walk away; it’s not always super easy, but it’s easier than walking away from a marriage. You have to divide up all of your belongings, hire a lawyer, and sign divorce papers. It’s really not even that simple, but you get where I’m going. Once you’re married, you typically work hard to make sure it lasts a long time!
12. Your time in the relationship flies by
I can barely remember what life was like before my husband came along. It seems like we’ve been together forever, but it’s only been seven years! I guess that is a long time, but the time really flew by, especially this last year! You may notice time just racing by as you enjoy your new marriage. Love every second of it!
13. You celebrate holidays in new ways
Instead of trading which houses to go to for Christmas and Thanksgiving, you are now responsible for going to all of the houses or choosing which houses to go to together. You have to make joint decisions from now on! Consider your spouse before you make holiday plans this year, and get his or her input on the festive events!
14. You have a person to count on in cases of emergency
Hopefully, your spouse is your emergency contact! If not, you may have closer relationships in your life than your spouse, which is quite unusual. Nevertheless, you usually have a new person in case of emergency now with your spouse. Plus, they have you! You get to be responsible for another person, and they are there for you, hopefully.
15. You stop having to date around
For many people, this is a nice change. You no longer have to tell your life story to a stranger! Instead, you’ve finally met your prince charming, the one and the only person you will have sex with for the rest of your life. Some people find this scary!
If you are concerned about being with one person forever, you probably shouldn’t consider marriage – at least not at this time.
16. You might let yourself go a little bit
Many people gain weight once they get married. They let themselves go a little bit. Other people find marriage to be a new adventure, a new chapter in their lives, and enjoy getting fixed up for their spouse. This will really depend on you and your spouse, but it may happen without you realizing what’s really going on.
17. You find more time to laugh together as a married couple
Because you spend so much time together, you will have more time to make each other laugh. You might tell each other jokes, tickle one another, or just watch funny shows on the television. Enjoy the time you have with your spouse, and try to stay positive!
18. You spend less time with your friends
Because you now take your spouse into consideration, you may find that you have less time for your friends. This is completely normal. You can find married friends who are in the same boat and have a group date. Do something with other couples to spice up your interactions with other people and to meet new people with new stories!
19. You forgive or compromise more than you thought you would
Again, because you are spending so much time together, you may find that being agreeable is more natural than picking fights. Alternatively, you might fight more than you thought you would. It really depends on the couple. It’s a good idea to have a compassionate heart, one that forgives easily and loves freely.
20. You care about their well-being more
If your spouse is ill or bed-ridden with a medical condition, it’s usually your responsibility to take care of them. You are the one who needs to make the chicken noodle soup and take them to doctor appointments. You may notice that you care about the well-being of your partner more than you ever did when you were dating! This is normal!
21. You live in the same place as them
Typically, married couples live in the same place and share a bed with one another. This isn’t always the case, but usually, it is. When you live with someone, you learn all about their secrets and little quirks that you might find cute. Alternatively, you might find them annoying! Just give it time, and you will figure out how to live happily with them.
22. Your sex life is different
Some people say that you have less sex once you are married, but others claim that your sex life improves once you get married. There is more intimacy between spouses than there is between those who date, usually. It’s because the two of you are able to talk about your expectations, wants, and desires in an open and honest way.
23. You give them more attention
You devote so much time to this one person in your life. It’s magical!
24. You can show your weird side to them
You can totally be yourself in ways that you never thought you could! Enjoy showing off who you really are to your spouse. Reveal your true self and let it all out. You may determine you are different than you thought. Maybe you thought you were a bit nerdy, but really you are a rock and roll superstar!
25. You tell them all of your secrets
You reveal your hopes, dreams, and aspirations with this person. You tell them everything, which just brings the two of you closer together! Enjoy this! Maybe you shamefully shoplifted when you were a child or something like that. You can share those things freely with your spouse and not get a harsh judgment, hopefully!
26. You have a greater amount of intimacy
Intimacy is about more than just sex. It might involve cuddling or sharing stories with one another for an extended period of time. It’s a special connection that two people share with one another. It’s a bond you have that is very difficult to break. If you try to keep it strong, the two of you will flourish together as a couple.
27. You do more things together as a couple
Other people will see you as one unit because you are probably always together! That’s okay; it’s normal to want to spend all your free time with your spouse! After all, they know your secrets, hopes, dreams, and wishes. In fact, they may understand you better than you understand yourself! What does your partner really think of you?
28. Your utility bills are higher
You use more heat and air. You need the air conditioning to be a certain temperature. This might take some skillful negotiations, depending on what your spouse needs! Two people use more water than one does, so that bill will be higher! Luckily, you now have two incomes to share and possibly tax breaks you can take!
29. You believe you have found the person of your dreams
Is he really Prince Charming? You will have to decide this one for yourself, but enjoy getting to know him! Give him a chance to have flaws, though. Remember that no one is perfect in this crazy world! We all have blemishes, so be open-minded!
30. You fight in different ways
Some people just want space in the midst of an argument, while others prefer to hash things out and get it over with. Still, others don’t like to fight at all. Whatever conflict style you have, make sure you communicate well with your spouse so that he or she knows you care about them and value the way he or she needs to fight.
31. You listen more
Listening is a crucial part of marriage, so pay attention when your spouse talks. What is the meaning behind what he is saying? What does she need to hear back from you? Consider improving your listening skills if you do not know how to listen in the right way.
Why Some Spouses Have Issues With Marriage
Many spouses feel that once they get married, all of their problems will be solved, but marriage is not about making you a picture-perfect life. When you got married, you committed to one person for the rest of your life; you didn’t agree to get married only if he did XYZ (picked up his dirty socks, put the dishes in the dishwasher, or folded the laundry when it was done).
Instead, when you got married, you married an individual with flaws and all. If you didn’t know your spouse’s flaws before the wedding, you might be in for quite a shock for the rest of your life, but you can adjust. One reason people have difficulties after getting married is one spouse believes the other one should do certain things or treat you in a certain way.
If you have expectations before getting married, you should talk to your partner about them. Women especially struggle with this because they believe men should behave in certain ways or treat them special. Women sometimes get lost in the fairy tale that comes once you get married or before that time. Did you know that when you get married, you have flaws too?
How To Adjust As A Married Couple
After the wedding, you must realize that your partner is going to change. If you are dating a guy that you are unsure about, you should wait to plan the wedding! The commitment that comes with marriage is everlasting (or it should be)! If you aren’t ready for the commitment of a long-term relationship, you certainly should not consider marriage.
Make sure you are ready for the commitment of marriage before you bond your life to a person! Also, if you are struggling to adjust to being a married couple, you can see a couples therapist. If your partner agrees that this is a good idea, you can go as a couple, but if not, go alone! You will still possibly get valuable insight from a qualified therapist or counselor.
Many marriages fail because they have problems getting advice from experts. Some fail because their sex life changes so much that they cannot adjust to the changes. Although your sex life may become stagnant or even more eventful, it’s a smart idea to talk to your spouse about your concerns. Open communication always gives the best results for a couple.
Married couples should be excited about a long-lasting commitment, but change will happen. If you are a wife, you may have certain expectations about what a husband should do after you say the words “I do.” Some spouses want marriages to be like in the ’50s, where wives stayed home.
Once you say “I do” and change your last name, the relationship advances to the next level. Being in a commitment like this can be overwhelming as you learn about your spouse’s nasty grooming habits and dirty little secrets, things he’s never shared with anyone. You become a new person, really!
If you are a wife just marrying a husband for the first time, the change can make you feel overwhelmed and confused. You might have had expectations for marriage, things that will not occur with a new name. You may want certain things after saying “I do” that does not happen.
You don’t have to change your last name if you do not want to, but most people are excited to change their name. They want to have their husband or wife’s last name because it symbolizes the commitment the two of them made when they said, “I do.”
Managing money is hard on a relationship. If the wife wants to pay off her credit card debt and the husband doesn’t care about debt, there can be problems with money. One person wants to use money in one way, while the other does not care about money as much.
Once your wedding is over and the words “I do” have been exchanged, it’s up to the husband and wife to make the relationship work. Did you marry the man of your dreams only to find out marriage wasn’t as easy as you’d thought? Please leave a comment, and share!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.