What Are His Intentions? (11 Ways To Identify The Intentions Of A Guy You’re Dating)

Once you start thinking about the future, the next step is to wonder what your man’s intentions are. The funny thing is that whether or not he has good intentions or bad intentions often manifests itself confusingly. You know what I mean, sometimes guys are not genuine about what the future holds for your relationship.

Nevertheless, there are some tell-tale red flags that are sure to give him away, but you can only figure it out if you pay attention. So, if your relationship is reaching that turning point and you are stuck wondering what are his intentions, then these few pointers should get you across the finish line.

11 Ways To Identify His Intentions

1. He lets you in

In relationships, you do not necessarily have to be joined at the hip, but at the very least, you should be part of each other’s lives. Any guy who is into you will ensure that you do not feel out of the loop. If you feel excluded at any point, then that is a sign that something is amiss. His good intentions will shine through in his desire to immerse you in his world.

You will meet the friends, co-workers, and at the right time, you will get to meet his folks. It is not just people, he will let you into his headspace so you are not stuck filling in the blanks.

2. He will be interested in more than your body

When most people date these days, the end game is to end up in bed and hop on to the next one. But the case will be totally different if a man wants a serious relationship

If he wants to spend time doing things outside the bedroom, then that is a clear indication that he has good intentions. I am not saying you won’t get down and dirty, but that will not be the glue holding you together.

You will connect in other ways and share one or more interests no matter how small. So, if you always end up naked and in bed, it may be time to closely examine what is holding the relationship up.

3. He is ‘friendless.

This one is a clear indication that he does not have good intentions in mind. Yes, some people are lone wolves and like to do it on their own. But at the core of it all, humans are social beings and they want to connect with others. 

If your new man has no friends at all, then something is brutally wrong. It is a sign that he cannot even maintain a platonic relationship talkless of a romantic one. 

It is even more of a red flag if he feels like everyone is out to get him. That right there is a defense mechanism and not one of the good ones. Altogether, it is vital to know if the guy you are dating can maintain relationships outside the one you are trying to build. It will let you know if you will be in his life for the long haul.

4. Neediness

Sometimes, a person’s intentions are not just ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ it is a little less black and white than that. He may be in it for the long haul, but he intends to turn you into his puppet at the end of the day. This manifests itself in the form of neediness. It starts small with him wanting to keep tabs on you and in your head you are simply glad you finally have a man that cares.

But that’s not all. He further becomes demanding and even manipulative. A night out with the girls becomes a night you suddenly do not want to spend with him. Or, your me-time becomes a cover for your rendezvous with your lover. Altogether, do not date a shockingly needy man, his intentions are bad.

5. His body language will let you in on it

his body language will let you in on it

You are going to hear this a whole lot during the course of this article, talk is cheap. What matters more is how he acts, even when he thinks you are not looking. That is why you need to take a magnifying glass to the small things he does when he is with you. Does he only want to hold hands in enclosed spaces?

Does he seem jittery when you walk into the room and he’s on the phone? These things will let you know if the guy is simply taking you for a ride.

6. Consistency

Every relationship is different, while some thrive in the midst of drama others are quiet or more passive-aggressive. Here is the thing, there is no one-size-fits-all template for a relationship, nevertheless, there should be consistency. You should not get the sweetest boyfriend in the world on Mondays, then dine with a cold and aloof man on Wednesdays. 

That is not a sign that he has good intentions. There needs to be stability in every relationship, so if the drama is what keeps it going, let there be consistent drama. If you like peace and quiet, let that be consistent. It only becomes a huge problem when you cannot put a finger on how he feels about you because he is such a chameleon.

7. Honesty

This goes without saying, serial liars do not make the best partners in the world. I understand when one party tells a white lie to make the other feel better. But straight-up producing a string of lies to manipulate the other person is a red flag. 

So, if you have caught him in so many lies that a few of them are actually unwarranted, it may be time to start figuring out where the relationship is headed. People who deceive others regularly are only looking out for their own interests. So, that is an indicator that he does even not care enough to put you first once in a while. My advice? Flee!

8. Pressure is his game

Any man who puts pressure on you for one reason or the other has bad intentions for you. It may be simply to get you into his bed. Even more, it could be so that he can manipulate you financially, or simply so he can have someone under his control. Either way, any man who wants the best for you will not put pressure on you.

Relationships are volatile, and whatever happens in them can scar you for life. Manipulative men with bad intentions know this, so they try to milk it as much as they can before you realize you can no longer do it. In a nutshell, if a man is really laying down the pressure for sex, money, or even your time, that is a clear indication that he has bad intentions.

9. Who chases who?

In my opinion, a good relationship is one where both parties pursue each other. If you want to spend time with your man, you make the effort and the same goes for him. The thing is, some men will string you along and once you are hooked, they begin to pull back. At that moment, the first thing that occurs to you is to chase them and figure out what’s going on. 

Big mistake! But, the heart wants what it wants and it causes us to act less than rational. Altogether, if you realize that you have been chasing your man and he still seems far away, then that is a sign that he does not mean well. It is manipulative, and you should jump out of that before you get too caught up.

10. Keeping scoreboards

keeping scoreboards

When you are first getting the hang of this dating thing, scoreboards are heavily featured. You remember when he forgot your half-birthday or when he came late to pick you up at the airport. 

But that should all fade away as you ease into it and grow as a couple. So, if he keeps a scoreboard and reads out your transgressions every time you have an argument, that is something you should keep your eye on. 

Any man who loves you and wants the best for you, will not make you feel like you are a horrible person just because you forgot something or made a mistake. No one is above mistakes, so he should not count all of yours against you.

11. You will just know

This may seem a little on the nose, but if a man has good intentions he will make it clear. You may not be able to put a finger on the reason why you are at peace, but the relationship will just feel right. This is one of those moments where you should trust your gut, it is as intuitive as it gets. 

Altogether, if his intention is to bed and flee, his actions will let you know, no matter how subtle. So, trust that your instincts are right and once you see a sign, try your best to read between the lines and get to the root of any doubt you may be experiencing.


What are a man's intentions?

Well, that depends, but in a nutshell, his intentions entail his future plans with you or the lack thereof. Not all relationships end up being meaningful even when one or both parties hope they will be. So, in a nutshell, a man’s intentions are the reasons why he’s dating you in the first place.

How can you tell a guy's intentions?

For the most part, it is the little things. A guy can talk all he wants and assure you of his seriousness, but talk is cheap. Also, weigh his words against his actions and that should provide a clear pathway to whether he plans to be with you for the long haul.

How do you know if a guy has bad intentions?

For the most part, he will become vague and put off any solid plans you may have on the ground. Also, the level of attention and interest he paid, in the beginning, will drop to the bare minimum. He may even stop referring to you as his girlfriend just to passive-aggressively get the message across.

How do you know if a guy is sincere in courting you?

First and foremost, he will let you know, but that is not enough. Even more, he shares his dreams and aspirations with you. Altogether, he is honest and genuine about his life, and plans. To top it all off, he actively listens to you with the intent of understanding.

How can a man make his intentions clear?

Well, it is partially in the words he says, but as mentioned earlier, talk is cheap. The best way to really get the truth is by gauging the sincerity of his actions. If the guy you are dating is serious about you he will respect and regard you highly. If he is not, you will end up not feeling valued.

The Bottomline

The dating world is brutal and even the wisest people get burnt once in a while. That is why it is a good idea to get all the help you can, here and there. Hopefully, your man has good intentions and you end up having a great life together. But, if he is clearly not interested, then the most important thing is to know ahead of time.

With that in mind, feel free to drop a comment in the section below, also share this with anyone who needs to see it.

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