As women we often find ourselves being single very early on in our twenties. Sometimes, it's because we lost our high school loves, and other times, it's because we simply haven't met anyone we want a romantic commitment with.
Along the line, you realize that men become particular about wanting to settle down. They suddenly crave the beauty of a relationship, totally forgetting how they swore off women some years back.
Let's face it, many of us go through more than one commitment during our twenties. Some of us are lucky to find our soulmates, while others, move into their thirties still single and searching. This is no different for men. Even with this, you're still highly likely to come across a number of men who still want to be single.
So why do some guys still want to be single? Several studies involving interviews have come up without lots of responses to this question, answered by men from all over the world. From poor looks to past hurts and even low self-esteem, we've picked over forty of these reasons, and have listed them in this article for your reading pleasure.
If any man in your life has ever given you one of these reasons for why he's single, he might just be telling you the truth; listen to him.
- 1 45 Types Of Single Men Who Stay Single
- 1.1 1. The choosy man
- 1.2 2. The perfect man
- 1.3 3. The happy single
- 1.4 4. The terrible date
- 1.5 5. The immature man
- 1.6 6. The quitter
- 1.7 7. The not-so-attractive guy
- 1.8 8. The no self-esteem guy
- 1.9 9. The low-effort man
- 1.10 10. The introvert
- 1.11 11. The terrible flirt
- 1.12 12. The no-interest man
- 1.13 13. The broken-hearted
- 1.14 14. Terrible past experiences
- 1.15 15. No women are available
- 1.16 16. The friendly man
- 1.17 17. The oblivious disaster
- 1.18 18. The married, single man
- 1.19 19. The divorcee
- 1.20 20. The old player
- 1.21 21. The bitter man
- 1.22 22. The frantic man
- 1.23 23. The defensive man
- 1.24 24. The man with an unhealthy attraction
- 1.25 25. The one who has fear of competition
- 1.26 26. Passive men
- 1.27 27. No ambition
- 1.28 28. The easily intimidated
- 1.29 29. No personality
- 1.30 30. He hasn't found the one
- 1.31 31. The polygamist
- 1.32 32. The encourager
- 1.33 33. The people pleaser
- 1.34 34. The financial man
- 1.35 35. The homeboy
- 1.36 36. The fixer
- 1.37 37. The baby daddy
- 1.38 38. The widower
- 1.39 39. The spiritual man
- 1.40 40. The family man
- 1.41 41. The no intimacy man
- 1.42 42. He's not financially stable
- 1.43 43. He's gay
- 1.44 44. He's extremely religious
- 1.45 45. He lost the love of his life
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
45 Types Of Single Men Who Stay Single
1. The choosy man
This is a good point, and I'll explain it in a bit. The first kind of single man we highlight is what we love to call the choosy man or the choosy beggar. If you thought beggars can't be choosers, these guys are here to prove you wrong.
The choosy beggar is any guy who refuses to go into a relationship because he's in search of the perfect partner. He has a vision of what his life partner should look like, and while this picture features extremely high standards that even he cannot meet, he's not willing to bring them down for just anybody.
In most cases, these men themselves are far from the ideal, with pot bellies, bald patches, and jobs they hate.
One thing the choosy beggar forgets is that no one is perfect, not even them. If they do, however, prefer to remain single, who are we to judge?
2. The perfect man
These men are the exact opposite of choosy beggars, concerning their personalities and looks. The perfect man is what his description says; perfect in every sense of the word. He's handsome, healthy with a jaw-dropping body. He just finished his master's at Yale, has no trauma or psychological baggage, and is settled financially.
You will find him exploring the world, living a life filled with nothing short of action. And the best part? He doesn't have kids!
It is easy to imagine men like this in a relationship because truly, they lack nothing. Well apart from one thing. The perfect man is almost always looking for a woman just like him. He always searches for his equivalent, and as such, they stay single for long periods.
3. The happy single
Another type is the happily single guy. These guys don't care what you think, or how long you keep pressuring them to find a partner; they live a single life. Single men who are happy being that way don't think about society and its unending standards.
They want to stay single for as long as they possibly can because they love their own company, and they relish the unending freedom that comes with not being in a relationship. For such men, they might have different priorities such as building an empire, taking care of their family, or simply becoming better versions of themselves for themselves.
The happy single may or may not decide to have children with people, without attachment. Most men in this category don't receive a lot of backlash from women because truthfully, there are a lot of women who also want children without the added responsibility of a life partner.
4. The terrible date
There are single men who stay single because they're great men but have terrible dates. Most of these men are those you'll see after turning thirty. They are respectable from a dating perspective for one major reason; they own up to their past dating mistakes and try to save others from them.
The terrible date is respectable because he is upfront about the fact that he messed up in his past relationships, and refuses to date because of it. Some of them take a long, temporary break from dating, while others steer off it completely.
We love these single men because we know how tough it is to admit that you have issues that need to be resolved before you go back to meeting new people. Honesty is sexy, and it is the terrible date’s sexiest asset.
5. The immature man
If you ever come across an immature man, or manchild as many love to call them, it is better you stay single. Trust me, I know. The immature man is a narcissistic, low-effort individual who is the most irresponsible person you'll ever come across. Single men in this category often look for women who can act as their second mothers and not their girlfriends.
It is tough to spot a manchild from the onset. From the outside, they seem okay. They look good, sound as though they know what they're about, and are ever ready to give you frequent reasons why they're still single.
The immature man wants to have a second mom he can be intimate with, but who will still provide for all his needs while he continues to put in a low effort. Men like this have been known to wear down many women because of their excessive demands.
6. The quitter
He's not just any quitter, he's a very optimistic quitter. Sounds weird right? Well, these guys are very special. The major reason why they stay single is that they have not prioritized love in their lives, and as such, it has never been in the cards for them.
The optimistic quitter has most likely tried for years to date or find a life partner, but has been shot down time and time again. Such people, they're most likely to stop pursuing potential partners altogether because really, what's the point?
Thankfully, their hesitancy to date doesn't mean they have hard feelings towards women. They don’t hate women, and if anyone were to approach them they would be willing to give it a shot.
7. The not-so-attractive guy
Believe it or not, poor looks go a long way for many, to determine whether or not they meet the perfect partner. Many men who want to enter the dating scene, don't have the attributes many women drool over. Some might be too short, might be balding, or might have already gone completely bald.
Such men might not like the look of themselves and as such, will prefer to stay single than have ladies reject them.
When it comes to poor looks, men have to go out of their comfort zone and create an atmosphere of beauty about them. They could get a makeover, make use of natural beautifiers such as smiling more or build up the best personality a woman can find. Dating involves more than looks; it rests on the foundation of a great personality.
8. The no self-esteem guy
As women, we tend to believe we are the only ones who doubt ourselves, our capabilities, and our chances of finding our one true love. There are some guys who feel the exact way and as such, decide to stay single even though they are interested in relationships.
Many men around the globe have admitted that one of the reasons why men remain single is because they don't have a lot of conscience themselves. This might be because of childhood traumas, comments, and expectations from society or simply their mindset.
The no self-esteem man has a lot of work to do in the mindset department, which will help him see himself in a different, more loving, and worthy way. Once you have a positive vision of yourself, you start to attract everything you are interested in without even trying.
9. The low-effort man
There are men who aren't interested in the dating scene at all. These are those who wish to have people in their lives but for some reason can't get themselves out there and then there's this group’ the low-effort guys. These are guys interested in having relationships, but they do little to nothing in making it happen.
They put in no effort into maintaining relationships or starting new ones. They don't put themselves out there to meet new people. They don't see anything wrong with staying at home doing nothing but complaining about their singleness.
10. The introvert
Unlike the man in the last paragraph, the introvert doesn't make the effort to find a partner because he prefers to be single and by himself. He might have dozens of girls in his life as friends, but he doesn't see the need to have a special person who will always be in his space.
The introvert finds dating to be extremely difficult and often sees the act of pursuing someone as a huge step out of their comfort zone. Once they come out, they do a great job of thriving, but the process that leads there is grueling and difficult for them.
11. The terrible flirt
When it comes to dating or flirting, this guy is the worst. There are men who naturally do a great job of flirting, and those who find it to be a herculean task.
Most times, the terrible flirt is born out of a bad case of anxiety or nerves, and this is a human reaction. It is normal to feel some amount of apprehension right before approaching a girl or guy to create a conversation for the first time.
In other cases, the terrible flirt is terrible because he cannot pick up on signals from girls around him. A girl might be sending subtle hints that she's interested, but since he doesn't understand, he's bound to miss out on the opportunity.
12. The no-interest man
Sometimes, it's just as simple as that. The man is as far away from dating as possible because he has no interest in relationships. It has nothing to do with past traumas, or him messing up old relationships. He prefers the single life and even though it might sound wrong, he's willing to do everything to be single.
13. The broken-hearted
Broken hearts are the worst. They bring hurt, regret, and many other negative emotions into a person's heart. They make it hard to love again, especially if you're on the receiving end. There's nothing wrong. Therefore, if a guy who just came out of a relationship decides to hold off from the dating scene for a while.
It takes a while to overcome a breakup, and as such, the broken-hearted guy is free to take all the time he needs to heal from his previous relationships.
14. Terrible past experiences
Bad relationships always have a way of affecting future partnerships, whether we like it or not. It takes a lot of willpower to let the feelings associated with those moments go away. A guy who is still recovering from bad relationships will need time to retune his mind. He will need time to realize that everyone is different.
And as such, any new commitment has a great potential of turning out to be the best thing in his life.
15. No women are available
Or rather, all the women he wants are unavailable. It will be difficult for anyone to believe it when a guy says there are no women available. He might be finding it difficult to find women who are on the same page about partnerships and as such, decide to be on his own.
For such a man, he needs a little bit more effort in searching for a mate. Women feel loved and wanted when they know there's a chance with you. Being open-minded is the best way to find your perfect match.
16. The friendly man
Almost all romantic relationships start from friendships. Friendships are essential to life; they are relationships that can withstand the test of time and changes in emotions. You might lose a lover, but you'll always have your friends.
Another group of men are those who aren't considered attractive enough to be more than friends. Some of these men have the best personalities, they might even be over the stipulated six feet height, but there's something about them that screams friend when you meet them.
It is possible that he gives off an uncle vibe, or an elderly vibe you can't seem to shake off. Sadly for these men, their best bet is to work a little bit on themselves, try making use of dating sites and if all else fails, give up their quest.
17. The oblivious disaster
This is not the guy you can have a successful relationship with. Such men have no clue how best to behave when in the midst of others. They might get rowdy, excessively drunk, or might even become violent.
The worst part about such people is that in most cases, they have no clue that something is wrong, or that their actions are not acceptable. Amongst all the types of guys who stay single, the oblivious disaster might just be the worst.
18. The married, single man
Ever come across these men? Those who swear they're single but are in fact married? Yes, they are terrible humans and you need to steer clear. Their wives are better off divorcing them and finding wonderful men who aren't afraid to let the world know they have wives.
The married, single man has no sexy attributes and he has nothing to offer, especially not a serious relationship. These men usually come after young women, who are almost tired of the dating scene.
19. The divorcee
Just like breakups, divorces happen after marriages. The divorcee is a great man by all standards. Even though things didn't work out with his former wife, he shows the potential for a healthy relationship, thanks to the lessons learned from his previous partnership. There's only one thing, and it's major. He might have a child..or three.
A divorcee with kids is a great option for women looking to get married and have kids. They are most often dating with the intent of finding someone their children can look up to as a mother. If you're a fan of family life, and you are comfortable with the age group of the divorcee, you can take a shot.
20. The old player
Did you know that in every age group, there are players who simply can't stick to one woman? It doesn't matter if he's 25 or 52, if he was a classic bad boy then, he might still be juggling countless women now, with no intention of choosing one over the other.
Playboys aren't cut out for long-term commitment, or any form of commitment. These men are deep down unhappy, lonely individuals who feel insecure about themselves. You're better off looking elsewhere for successful relationships because such men are nothing but trouble. They come with a lot of trouble and drama that most often, they have no clue about.
21. The bitter man
Bitter men and bitter women are very similar. They've all had terrible experiences with love and as such, they're done with the dating scene forever. And ever. The difference between a bitter woman and a bitter man is their ability to voice out their feelings.
A bitter man will not blame his lack of a partner on poor flirting skills. He is very vocal about his bitterness and rage and is quick to let others know that they've reached a point of no return. They've gone through so much rejection and hurt that the idea of a beautiful and loving relationship sounds like just that.. an idea.
22. The frantic man
Who is a frantic man? Any man in tune with his biological clock and how fast it's ticking away. While they aren't many, there are a lot of times when the biological clock phenomenon happens to men too. The crazy part is, that it comes to them out of the blue, totally unexpected.
A playboy could wake up suddenly one day and realize he's almost hitting fifty, and he needs a family. The feelings could be so overwhelming that confusion sets in, then fear, before finally desperation.
The frantic man starts telling everyone he knows how he feels, and in typical fashion, everyone is extremely worried about him. He begins searching for a partner, particularly in younger women. He tries the newest dating sites in hope of finding the perfect baby mama at least.
With this kind of man, he's not in need of just younger women, he needs a younger woman who is willing to settle down as soon as possible and start giving him babies.
23. The defensive man
This man is like so many women. He might've been raised by negligent or distant family members who always gave him the cold shoulder. Such negative feelings go a long way to create feelings of distrust and lack of affection in people. As a result, the defensive man grows up to be someone who is suspicious of everyone.
He's always second-guessing online dating profiles, can't have a great conversation about relationships with his male friends, and when he finds someone he likes even remotely, creates a long wall of defenses to prevent him from being hurt.
24. The man with an unhealthy attraction
Having unhealthy attractions often leads us to settle with people who are less than ideal for us. The man with such an attribute often acts on his defenses without a second thought, and this might cause him to select a younger woman who isn't emotionally available.
The reason for this is simple. He might have grown up seeing certain patterns that embedded the fear of intimacy within him. With this as unconscious motivation, he's always on the lookout for relationships that will reinforce all the negative aspects of his past.
Such a man might not be a huge fan of online dating. He might always totally agree with everything his partner says and does, even if it causes him internal distress.
25. The one who has fear of competition
This might stem from a lack of confidence or self-esteem. When a man realizes that he's in competition for the affection or attention of a woman, he might start backing away. Once there's competition, the man afraid of such begins to get critical about himself, his abilities, and his gifts.
He suddenly realizes he has poor flirting skills and thinks about whether he stands a chance with his 5’7 height, and with his almost forty body.
The fear of competition prevents many from putting themselves out there in the dating scene. Some men are scared of failing, and even if they win, they are scared their partner might have regrets about not choosing someone else.
26. Passive men
The passive man is any man who checks all the boxes a woman would want, except he comes off as too soft. He might have the best job, be extremely good-looking, and be great at chivalry and all its nitty gritty's, but if he's too soft, women might be put off.
For such a guy, he's not single by choice. He has a lot of work to do with finding balance in a relationship. He needs to know how to cherish his woman as a goddess and still keep her in check as and when it is needed. If not, he'll end up with women who only wish to take advantage of him.
27. No ambition
You might be the most handsome man on earth with a body built by the gods, but if you don't have any form of ambition, you are seen as mediocre by the women around you. As a response, they avoid you like the plague. It is true that sometimes, women have extremely high expectations of men, but there are a number of guys who stunt the potential of their relationship by not expecting enough out of themselves.
28. The easily intimidated
Such a man might have a complex with women who have a lot going for themselves. Coming into contact with women who portray themselves as independent might make him feel insecure and less than a man. In time, they start coming off as lame and annoying to women, who will decide they're better off without them.
A man who feels easily intimidated by a woman needs to be open to discussing how he feels with her, as opposed to constantly trying to prove himself worthy. The work involved often leaves such men with a higher desire to be on their own.
29. No personality
Or a nasty personality. Being physically attractive and having a great job or source of income is great, but it can only take you so far in a relationship. Your looks might bring in many women, but it is your personality that will help you keep her.
Many men have not developed the basic skills needed in a partnership like holding a good conversation, knowing how to have fun, and making their woman laugh. Without all these, you're less desirable, even with all your possessions.
30. He hasn't found the one
This guy isn't looking for perfection, he's simply looking for a significant other who is right for him. Men aren't usually in a hurry to find a partner, unlike most women. They love taking their time before entertaining anyone for a serious commitment.
Most often guys know they have a lot of options available to them and as such, it might be easy to settle with just anybody. There may be a lot of good women in the mix, but that won't make them the right fit for you.
31. The polygamist
This man resembles the playboy, but he's more greedy. Playboys as their name suggest love to play around with many women, for the fun of it. A polygamist is a man who knows his value and as such thinks he deserves to settle with more than one woman. The polygamist wants the freedom to have fun with women since he knows how hot of a commodity he is.
Such men love that they can be with a variety of women at a time, and see nothing wrong with hurting the feelings of those involved. Because most women don't subscribe to this kind of commitment, the polygamist is mostly left alone, only meeting women who aren't seeking anything serious.
32. The encourager
Many of us meet this man in our lifetime, and when it doesn't work it feels as though he's the one who got away. No sis, you're the one who got away. The encourager encourages you and supports your dreams. He gives you motivation any time it's needed and is quick to congratulate you when you win. He has a downside though.
If there come moments where you take a step back from your rise to success, he could get extremely bored and ultimately, turned off by your mere presence.
33. The people pleaser
Another type of single man is the pleaser. With this man, you have a lot of chemistry. Your heart does that cute dance whenever he's near, and when you hear his voice, your heart flutters. With this man, you know a relationship will always get better with time, like fine wine.
What you don't know, however, is that chemistry can only take you so far. He might be charming at first glance, but you might not have anything in common. He might be doing everything to get your attention, knowing fully well that you're both not compatible.
34. The financial man
This is a man who loves to show women a good time. He's always ready to dine and wine with you at the finest locations. With him you know you're secured and your quality of life is at its best. This is all good until it isn't.
In some cases, the financial man can become a terrible human being when life doesn't go according to his plan. If he loses his job for example, and can't do the things he used to do he might not have the strength and willpower to bounce back. For such people, long-term partnerships or love stories are difficult and as such, they might decide to be single.
35. The homeboy
The homeboy is the single guy you call when you have extra concert tickets or a spontaneous road trip. He's the life of the party and you both have a lot of fun in each other's company. The only thing is, the homebody is more likely to keep you in the friend zone for a very long time, especially if that's how the relationship begins.
36. The fixer
He is your very own Mr fix-it is always available to put his great hands to use. The fixer always has a solution to any problem you encounter and as such you keep him near. Be wary of keeping them on speed dial too often, as these men can start being resentful after a few consistent calls.
They love to help but don't love feeling as though it's their responsibility. This is a reason why many of them choose to relish their single life; to free themselves of the stress associated with always being the fixer in their relationships.
37. The baby daddy
Another category of single men is baby daddies. Not all baby daddies decide to move after having a child with someone they're no longer with. A number of them decide to stay without a partner as a means of preventing unnecessary drama between women.
Also, some baby daddies know they can devote time to two different families thus, they'll rather remain single and have enough time for their children.
38. The widower
This runs true for many widowers, especially those with kids. We've all heard some horror stories about stem mothers who hate their husbands' kids, or kids who can't stand their new mums.
To save everyone time, there are some widowers who decide to hold off on relationships permanently or temporarily. The latter choose to go into the dating pool again only after their children are grown, adults.
39. The spiritual man
The overly spiritual man, to be precise. We all exhibit some amount of spirituality, depending on what we believe in. the overly spiritual man, on the other hand, might take it overboard. Don't get us wrong, he's amazing as a human being.
He connects with you spiritually, and you both keep yourselves uplifted. You're always on the same moral page, and this is a wonderful thing. Such men might take the connection a bit too far, and will offer nothing else once there's an actual relationship.
40. The family man
The family man does not refer to someone who is married with kids. He's a man tasked with the responsibility of catering to his initial family, which most often consists of not just parents and siblings but aunties, cousins, and many more.
Such a man might be overwhelmed with all this responsibility and the idea of having a romantic connection seems more stressful than therapeutic. In trying to make his commitment a safe space, he might end up putting all his frustrations on his partner which can affect what they have.
41. The no intimacy man
A man who lacks intimacy and knows it is aware that being single is the best thing to do. Intimacy goes a long way to determine the trajectory of every love story. Good looks, money, height, and chemistry will only take you so far. Women thrive on intimacy, and that doesn't refer only to sex.
Intimacy includes kissing, spending quality time, touching, and engaging in stimulating conversations. A man needs to take time away from the dating scene, to learn about what he has and what he lacks, and work on the latter to help him find the woman he deserves.
42. He's not financially stable
Many of us aren't as financially set as we would love to be, no matter our current financial status. Any man who is in a relationship wants to be able to provide for his woman. This is an innate need that every man has, to be a provider. His inability to offer that provision might prevent him from venturing into a romantic commitment in the first place.
43. He's gay
You might be wondering why that handsome young man around the curb is still single. Well, he's probably not into ladies and is yet to find the perfect guy. For this reason, he might seem distant or even in the worst scenarios extremely cold towards women when approached. Don't take it too personally, you're just not his type.
44. He's extremely religious
In these instances, it could mean he's willing to devote himself fully to some form of spiritual or religious ministry. For example, a man who decides to become a Catholic priest will have no business falling in love with someone in a romantic way.
45. He lost the love of his life
This could be through death or the end of an old flame. These men believe that there was only one person for them, and despite their departure, decide to live with their memories. Moving on seems like a form of betrayal thus, they avoid all forms of romantic commitment.
There are many good guys out there who wish to be in relationships. The reason why most of these great guys remain single is that they lack self-awareness. Many of them are single because they believe their looks or height aren't what women want. Some of them lack the confidence to go after the right girl or any girl for that matter.
A man with a bald head or shortness is less likely to find a great woman, or someone who will love him the same way he does her, thus he prefers to be single for a long time.
You might not believe it, but marriage and health are directly related. Studies undertaken on both single and married men have showcased that many single or unmarried people are healthier than married persons. The studies went further to prove that a single person is less likely to suffer from heart-related diseases, and also less likely to have issues with their self-esteem.
Away from physical health to psychological health, single people have been discovered to experience higher levels of mood disorders, anxiety, depression, and many other psychological disorders. It is for this reason that men are encouraged to meet women, or find people of the other sex with whom they share an interest in the same things.
It might not be a relationship, but mere companionship is enough to keep you out of psychological distress.
Being single as a man can be stressful or enjoyable, depending on the reason for your singleness. If you're single because you're yet to find the right person, you might not be bothered too much about your single state, and you might even relish the season you're in.
For such a person, you get to enjoy your own company, doing your fair share of things you love. You deal with your single period by being spontaneous, exploring your surroundings, and even traveling out of your current location and reflecting on what you will want in your future relationship.
If a guy is single because he's been hurt before, and has sworn off available women for a while, he might decide to enjoy his singleness by taking up new hobbies, reading, drowning himself in work he loves, meeting up with other guys to have their fair share of boys only fun, and many more. There's so much to do while in the single stage, that most married people miss.
There are many types of guys around the world, and many of these men feel lonely from time to time. Single men, however, tend to be overwhelmingly lonely most of the time. This is mainly thanks to society, and how we have defined masculinity as having to show strength and health at all times, no matter how you're feeling on the inside.
For the men who have no partners because they lack confidence, loneliness meets them every single day, along with other emotions that further increases their desire to be in a relationship.
For men who want to be single by choice, loneliness does come, but only rarely. This is because they chose their current state, and at any moment, can change their minds in search of available women.
Age, much like poor looks, isn't a major determinant for finding true and real love. You don't need to be married, have kids, or have a home before you turn thirty. All these things can be done after thirty, at whichever time you please.
Society has created some standards that state an appropriate age limit for certain milestones. This shouldn't be the case, since we're all different humans with different goals and aspirations. Choice is an important factor when it comes to achieving milestones, and must be the only factor, not the voices and opinions of others around us.
Being single has never been and will never be a bad thing. It is in your best interest to know those who wish for a relationship and those who want to be single. Being able to tell them apart will go a long way to keep your heart from being broken by someone who didn't deserve your feelings and commitment in the first place.
We love that you made it this far in our article. If you loved it, why not share it with those you love? Bet they'll love reading too. Leave a comment or five, and tell us about any type of man you've met, who loves being in a commitment, and those who say they want to be single for as long as possible.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.