There may not be anything as bad as when your new relationship appears like things are going really well with this new man, then out of the blue, you can see that he is turned off, perhaps by something that you have said or done. But yet what the turn offs for guys are is still a secret to you and you have no idea how to avoid this happening again.
Perhaps you were messaging a guy that you met on a dating app and he stopped texting you back for no apparent reason. Or you had a romantic date with a guy and you thought that it went really well, but you didn’t hear anything from him and he didn’t tell you why. You have no idea what it is that you did wrong and caused this to happen.
You have become annoyed and frustrated because you have no idea what happened and you are not sure how to fix it. It is obvious however that something did go wrong. While every guy has different turn-offs and finds different things annoying that irritate him, knowing what generally turns men off can make sure you avoid them where possible.
- 1 Turn Offs For Guys: How To Avoid Ruining Your Relationship
- 1.1 1. You Mention The Future Too Soon
- 1.2 2. You Spend All Of Your Time On Social Media
- 1.3 3. You Are Trying To Make Him Jealous
- 1.4 4. You Only Talk About Yourself
- 1.5 5. You Ask Him Too Many Personal Questions On The First Date
- 1.6 6. You Keep Mentioning Your Exes
- 1.7 7. You Don’t Show Him Appreciation When He Does Nice Things For You
- 1.8 8. You Want To Be His Only Priority
- 1.9 9. You Try To Control Or Change Him
- 1.10 10. You Leave Things At His Before He Is Ready
- 1.11 11. You Play Mind Games With Him
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary…
Turn Offs For Guys: How To Avoid Ruining Your Relationship
You might not realize that certain things that you might say or do could turn this guy off you and end his attraction to you. You may be worried about the possible turn off for men that may end your relationship before it even becomes anything serious. Keep reading to find out how to avoid ruining your relationship.
1. You Mention The Future Too Soon
It can make sense for you, if you don’t want to be messed around by a guy that will never commit to a serious relationship, to want to mention the future early. However, this may be the number one thing that turns men off a relationship with a man. While you may think it is harmless you may end up completely ruining your relationship with him.
It is normal and natural that you don’t want to waste your time dating a man who will never be interested in or commit to a long-term, serious relationship. However, there is a huge difference in finding out what someone is after and deciding to plan a holiday with him next year when you have only been on two dates together. This is certainly much too soon.
Most guys don’t really plan much further than the week ahead, asking whether he would like to take a holiday together will likely send him over the edge, especially if you have only been on a few dates. This is one of those turn-offs for guys that is so simple to avoid! Just make sure that you don’t start planning far into the future.
2. You Spend All Of Your Time On Social Media
This is a very common occurrence nowadays with the popularity of social media. It can become easy to get distracted by something that is going on Instagram or Facebook that you forget to spend quality time with the person that you are with. This is also one of the biggest turn-offs in guys. If he realizes that you spend more time on your phone than with him he will likely lose interest quickly.
If you spend more time texting on social media than focusing on what your date is saying to you he is quickly going to lose any attraction that he once had for you and start to realize that he is turned off by you. When you go on a date with a guy make sure to keep your phone away and engage in a conversation completely with him.
The most important thing in any relationship is communication and the emotional connection that you build with each other. If you can’t stay off your phone long enough to have a proper conversation with him then you are never going to build the strong foundation needed for a healthy and long-lasting relationship with each other.
3. You Are Trying To Make Him Jealous
Knowing that you are trying to make him jealous is one of the biggest turn-offs for guys in a relationship. While you may think it will be to your advantage, playing mind games with this guy is only going to push him further away from you. If you are interested in him then tell him so but don’t try to make him think that you are still seeing other guys if you are not.
Men like to be with women that they know they can trust and if you are pretending to be interested in other men than him when you are actually not, he will likely find out soon enough. Knowing that you have lied to him and played mind games with him just to make him jealous will likely change his whole opinion of you and lose the attraction he felt for you.
You may think it is a good idea to post a social media status with one of your guy friends just to try and make him jealous or you think it will make him fight for you more if you pretend to flirt with another guy at a bar. However, this tactic is never going to work and it is just going to ruin any chance you had at creating a healthy relationship with this guy.
4. You Only Talk About Yourself
If you spend every date that you go on with this guy just talking about yourself, pretty soon he is going to lose interest in you. If you never give him the chance to talk and you always bring the conversation back to yourself he is going to get fed up with you. Show interest in him too and try and engage in the conversation together rather than just talking about yourself.
When you are dating, it is important that you show your interest in the guy too rather than just trying to tell them everything about you and your life. No one likes one-sided conversations and if all you talk about is yourself he is going to start to think that you are self-centered and don’t care about anybody else but yourself.
Make sure that you ask questions about his life too and show interest in everything that he has to say. After all, dating is about making connections with people and learning more about them, how can you do this if all you talk about is yourself? Even if you are doing this because you are nervous it is important that you try and find a way to avoid it as best you can.
5. You Ask Him Too Many Personal Questions On The First Date
The first date is about getting to know each other a little and finding out if there is a spark and the potential to go on another date in the future. While you may not want to waste your time dating a man that will not commit to a serious partnership in the future, it is important that you don’t ask too many serious or personal questions on the first date.
This is one of the big turn-offs in guys. You may be trying to figure out as early as the first date whether this may go somewhere in the future or whether he wants the same goals out of life as you do. So you ask him loads of questions about his job, what he’s looking for in a woman, how long was his last partnership, or whether he wants to get married and have kids.
This is likely to just scare the man away and you probably won’t see him for a second date. You probably want to know whether he meets the qualities that you hope for in a partner. But everything takes time and rushing it right now is only going to ruin the potential of anything happening between you. So just slow down and enjoy the process of dating.
6. You Keep Mentioning Your Exes
This is another one of the big turn-offs in guys. Avoid talking about your exes and about your past relationships on the first date or when you are only first starting to date. Don’t talk about the last guy that you were with, your ex-husband, or your ex’s most irritating habit. You may not even realize that you are doing it but you have to avoid this.
This is one of the biggest turn-offs for guys, he is not going to want to hear about the resentful feelings that you have for your ex. Even if you do have bad feelings or your last breakup was awful, it is important that you don’t mention it to the guy that you have just started dating. He doesn’t want to be compared to your ex in any way.
You need to make your new love interest feel important and make sure that it doesn’t come across that you are still hung up on your ex or you haven’t gotten over your past relationships. It is important when you are dating to be able to move on and forget the past rather than dwelling on things that happened a long time ago.
7. You Don’t Show Him Appreciation When He Does Nice Things For You
Does your guy do nice acts for you all of the time and no you feel like you have started to expect him to do things in this way for you. However one of the biggest turn offs for guys is when they don’t feel appreciated by the people around them. If you never say thank you or show your appreciation for what he does, he is quickly going to lose interest.
He likely does these acts out of love but no one likes to feel unappreciated in life. Men love to hear that they are appreciated by everyone around them. If he doesn’t feel appreciated in this way he will be likely to stop doing the small things that your man does for you in his life just to show his love for you. So remember to not neglect to say thank you every now and again.
It never takes much for anyone to say thank you. In relationships, men and women often get complacent and forget to show the appreciation that they have for the people that they love. Life might become too busy but it is important to let him know how much it means when he does nice and thoughtful acts for you in this way.
8. You Want To Be His Only Priority
Men don’t like it when a woman begins to demand all of their time in any way. It is important to remember than men have other people in their lives such as their friends and family and they want to show equal love to everyone around them. No one wants to be neglected just because he is dating someone new now.
Just because you like him, even love him and he loves you too, it doesn’t mean that he should now spend all of his time with you. It is important to find balance in a partnership and don’t resent him for wanting to spend time with his friends and the other people that he has love for in his life. Don’t make him give up things to spend time with you.
He will likely be more attracted to you if he sees that you are happy to spend time away from each other every now and again. No men like women who are over-dependent or too clingy. Every partnership needs to find a balance and it is healthy to need space from each other every now and again and it doesn’t mean that he loves you any less for it.
9. You Try To Control Or Change Him
It is important that you never try to control or change the men that you love. This is one of the things that will make a man lose interest in you really quickly. If you feel as if you need to be in control all of the time, you may need to work on your personal issues before you are ready to start dating someone. Don’t think that you need to control or change him in any way.
While you may think that you are able to change him and you are having a positive influence on his life, this is not a healthy way to view dating. You cannot make him feel a certain way about you or love you in a different way by trying to change him. Either accept him for the person he is or let go and move on.
10. You Leave Things At His Before He Is Ready
If he has told you that he is not ready to commit to anything serious just yet and he needs a bit more time, it is important that you don’t try to force things too soon. Don’t start leaving your stuff at his place before he is ready. You may think it is a good idea that you pretend to occasionally forget things at his but he will likely not respond positively.
If he is not ready to move in or live with you then avoid forgetting things at his flat until he is ready. If you have already tried this he has likely already received the hint already. When is he ready for things to move forward he will suggest that you leave some stuff at his place but don’t try and force things to happen too soon as you may put everything in danger of being ruined.
11. You Play Mind Games With Him
This is another thing that you need to avoid when dating a new man. Don’t play mind games with him as this will likely only push him further away from you. It may be that you wait a certain time before you text him back, you pretend to be busy when he suggests a date or you post fake photos online. He will likely find out in the future anyway, and things will be ruined.
One of the biggest turn offs for men in dating is women that only talk about themselves. When you are on a date with a guy if you refuse to talk about anything but yourself he is going to lose interest really quickly. Make sure that you take the time to listen to him and engage in a conversation with him so that you can develop a connection with each other.
One of the biggest turn offs for men in dating is mentioning the future too soon. The mention of making plans far ahead in the future when you have only been dating for a short amount of time is one of the quickest ways to scare a man away. Take your time and get to know him first before you try and plan a holiday with him.
If you want to tell whether a guy is attracted to you or not then notice whether he wants to spend time with you and whether he makes an effort to make you happy. If he shows affection, cares about you and is always happy to see you then there is a good chance that this guy is attracted to you and he sees a future with you.
Some turn offs for guys include women who only talk about themselves rather than asking questions about the other person’s life, women who don’t show appreciation for the things their man does for them and women who start to mention future plans to early on in dating. Give things time and build a connection on an emotional level with him.
When you are kissing a guy, try running your hands through his hair or massaging his back. Communicate with your partner and ask him what he likes and doesn’t like as every person likes different things. The most important aspect of every partnership is communication so make sure that you are open and honest with each other about everything.
When you are dating someone you may be wondering what are the turn ons in a guy and turn offs for guys. It is important to know what is likely to turn off a man when you are dating so that you don’t ruin any chances you had at a partnership. Don’t mention the future too soon, build an emotional connection with him, and show appreciation for the things he does for you.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.