No one bats an eye at young, good-looking women marrying older, less physically attractive men of fortune. The dynamic seems to have been around forever and became even more rampant in the ‘80s, the golden years of acquisition and materialism worldwide.
On the other hand, the idea of the role being reversed with men as the prize rather than the acquisitor is less popular, but very much existent too. A trophy husband is basically a male version of a trophy wife, except that they generally raise more eyebrows in certain societies. But you probably already knew all that.
How much more do you already know about the reality of men who hold this status? Find out in these 19 quick facts below.
- 1 19 Facts About A Trophy Husband
- 1.1 1. Only the physically exceptional make the cut
- 1.2 2. He is no slouch
- 1.3 3. He really brings it to the bedroom
- 1.4 4. Dumb and hot aren't the only criteria
- 1.5 5. He is exceptional at fitting in
- 1.6 6. He has loads of free time
- 1.7 7. He lives on his spouse's schedule
- 1.8 8. He is a great stay-at-home dad
- 1.9 9. His needs are secondary to his partner’s
- 1.10 10. Not every man can be one
- 1.11 11. Being a trophy husband sometimes means making the impossible choice
- 1.12 12. He gives Caesar what is his
- 1.13 13. An average trophy husband has a unique skill
- 1.14 14. He is high-maintenance
- 1.15 15. He is the perfect partner
- 1.16 16. His marriage is a perpetual honeymoon phase
- 1.17 17. They know loneliness
- 1.18 18. They are no less than their spouse
- 1.19 19. They are totally worth it
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Summarize
19 Facts About A Trophy Husband
1. Only the physically exceptional make the cut
What do Sofia Vergara and Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch) have in common? Anyone who saw Modern Family knows Gloria's body pretty much makes the point. Likewise, the wiz detective ( who is a real-life trophy husband), has been riding the marital waves with the Samuel Beckett award-winning multi-talented Sophie Hunter since 2015.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, trophy spouses can be all they want to be and all, but they have a lot riding on being easy on the eye too. Having other skills certainly helps, but it’s the vainer stuff, like looks, that gets them in the game, to begin with.
2. He is no slouch
If you are gonna be a show ting, the least you can do is stay performance-ready. Trophy spouses have too much riding on their looks to let themselves go, and that applies to both the wives and husbands equally. What qualifies one for the privilege of becoming a trophy husband also makes it so you have to keep it up.
After all, there will always be someone hotter and more suitable to take their place if they get comfortable. Whether his poison is working out or surgery, a trophy husband always does what it takes to stay on top of his game.
3. He really brings it to the bedroom
Everything you’ve heard about a trophy partner’s prowess in bed is true, for those who have that kind of arrangement. Some people arrange their package so that the prize only acts the part when they have an audience, but he doesn’t have to be a husband behind the scenes.
However, for those who take on the role entirely, their bedroom skills are a close second to the looks thing. These folks go the extra mile to keep their money-maker happy, and given the age difference is often substantial enough for his stamina to naturally exceed his partner’s, it’s hardly the toughest part of the gig.
4. Dumb and hot aren't the only criteria
While the inferior intellect stereotype is a mostly gross generalization, the looks part, not so much. But even with the latter intact, washboard abs, the stamina of a god and all, a trophy husband has to bring something else to the table to hold his woman’s interest.
There is more to keeping rich wives happy than being hot, and not many people understand this better than a trophy husband. Therefore, in addition to sculpting and maintaining their physical appearance, trophy husbands also take the pain to work on the more mundane stuff like their manners, personality, etc.
5. He is exceptional at fitting in
This follows from the previous fact – a trophy husband may not necessarily be a master at anything, but they are good enough at a lot of things. Enough, at least, to convince not just their wife but also her upper-class relatives and associates that he is not unworthy.
More than just looking the part, an ideal trophy husband makes it a point to act, walk, and talk the part as well. They are adept at making conversation even about things they have no prior knowledge of. They also know when to listen, offer their two cents, and when to recede into the background. Basically, an average trophic husband is a social chameleon.
6. He has loads of free time
There may be different angles to being a trophy husband, but their very job description comes down to being available for their spouse at all times. They may mean more to their rich wives than a status symbol, but their actual responsibility is less than that of conventional husbands.
Except for those who pick up their trophy after retirement, influential folks usually don’t have much time to spare for leisure. And since his spouse’s fortune more than covers for all he and their family will ever need, this means he gets to be off-duty a lot, too. At least until the next time his partner requires his services.
7. He lives on his spouse's schedule
Unfortunately, a trophy husband’s free time doesn’t all belong to him. He makes his plans and schedules relative to his woman’s and not the other way round. It’s not like they go around with a tracker on them or anything that dramatic, just that they don’t ever want to leave their partner in need of them.
They make themselves available even when not needed so as not to put their partner in a position to consider the other options their fortune can afford them. This is especially so for those who are trophy husbands through and through, with little or no romance to do with it.
8. He is a great stay-at-home dad
Regardless of who holds the strings in the marriage, however, one thing is certain, trophy husbands make perfect stay-at-home fathers. I mean, whoever is rich enough to snag themselves a prize as a consort probably has enough money to hire housekeepers and nannies, so that’s not the problem.
It’s that being the one with less responsibility for the couple, it makes sense that he fills the (parenting) gap that the home staff can’t. A trophy husband can afford to spend quality time with the kids while his woman is out amassing her fortune.
9. His needs are secondary to his partner’s
A trophy husband’s relationship with his woman (or man) differs from the traditional couple’s in more ways than just how he spends his time. In return for all the money/power/connection he could ever want, he makes his spouse’s needs a priority – even over his own, if need be.
That is, his mood or plans come second to whatever satisfies the money maker. The dynamic is such that a trophy husband is there to represent something, and he is to play that part in exchange for the privilege. This is, of course, not the case for every trophy relationship out there, there are always exceptions.
10. Not every man can be one
Normalized as the trend of wealthy, older men marrying a beautiful, younger woman is, many people still associate trophy wives with status symbols. Now imagine how much more of a stigma it can be like for an average man. There will be gossip about both the kept man and woman paying his bills.
We all know how much premium traditional men put on providing for their family and generally ‘wearing the trouser’ in the relationship. So local whispers aside, male ego alone won’t let many men be proper trophy husbands.
11. Being a trophy husband sometimes means making the impossible choice
Following from the last point, even for those modern men who may be open to the idea of being a kept spouse, their family may not be so exposed. Society is a lot less rigid as a whole nowadays, but men who come from traditional families may have to defend their choice to be “emasculated”.
This ridicule isn't limited to families, either. They also have to deal with friends and neighbors giving them the side-eye for not being man enough. So, choosing to be a consort and following through with it means using all the judgment – subtle and otherwise – that comes with it. In some cases, it can even mean turning your back on your old life or losing your people’s respect.
12. He gives Caesar what is his
An ideal trophy husband finds a sweet spot between being a pushover and standing his ground. No one understands the concept of compromise in a relationship more than this guy, a handy attribute to have when marrying into wealth. For instance, the scenario in the last point isn't the only family waters a trophy husband has to navigate.
After dealing with his family, he also has to convince the woman's side that he is a well-meaning partner. That might mean her children, parents, or ex-husband, depending on the source of her wealth and how much influence her family has on her decision.
Choosing your battles essentially comes with the territory of being a trophy spouse, the elusive balance between being flexible and being your own person.
13. An average trophy husband has a unique skill
Besides honing their social skills, trophy husbands usually have some physical skills to brag about in addition to the obvious. This is partly due to the need to boost their portfolio and improve their credibility. But also because when you have as much free time as a typical trophy husband on your hands, extracurricular activities don't seem so far off.
So it's no surprise that they are found everywhere, from cooking and yoga classes to pottery and language lessons. They usually have eyes for art, wine, and all the exotic stuff in life, but then again, who wouldn't?
14. He is high-maintenance
Comparing the dynamic of this relationship to the more traditional couple in every sense would be sugarcoating things. Men who marry for money are not your run-of-the-mill till-death-do-us part husband material, theirs is to be taken care of and, in turn, be a baby boy.
All the things that attract powerful men and women to keep partners take just as much to maintain, and only those who are able to pay the dues get to get them. So if you believe that much about trophy husbands, then you are not wrong.
15. He is the perfect partner
Given the whole idea is that a trophy husband's accomplishments pale in comparison to his partner's, they are usually chosen for specific purposes. The closest thing you will get to perfect in a relationship has to be within this dynamic. The marriage is built on not just emotions but also logic.
The roles are defined. Each partner knows what they bring to the table and does their part to keep it going. You'd be surprised at how innovative men can get when they are always on their toes finding ways to keep their spouses' love or stay show-worthy. Where even love can fail to make a person act right, power/wealth can, ergo, perfect.
16. His marriage is a perpetual honeymoon phase
Every relationship has that heady phase when everything is just easy. Those first few months (or years) before the flaws of compatibility start to show when it’s all about the romance, fun, and intimate moments. Unfortunately, they naturally wane, even for the most loved-up couples.
However, it’s a trophy hubby’s responsibility to do all he can to prolong this phase because the more enamored the wife is, the more secure his privilege. So going out of their way to keep wooing their wives is all in a day's work for these men.
17. They know loneliness
At the risk of contradicting my last point, I put it to you that not even trophy husbands can have it all in marriage – no one can. Sure, they get to enjoy all the lavish things that money can buy, maybe, but at what cost? As I said, logic plays a considerable part in trophy relationships, and on most days, that is enough.
But those who aren’t lucky enough to have a real relationship develop from the “arrangement” may find themselves craving real companionship with time. A partnership in which they can do things in their own time and not have to live up to a standard every damn time.
18. They are no less than their spouse
One thing many of us still have to unlearn as a collective is looking down on men who are trophy husbands. Whatever your opinion of them, whether you picture stay-at-home dads or models built like Greek gods, not being the breadwinner doesn't make them less of a man.
Apart from it being his business, his wealthy partner must have sure seen more people of her caliber before marrying him. I'm not going to pretend like it’s all about love. But if there's one thing about rich people, it's that they wouldn't make an investment as heavy as marriage with someone who has no value.
19. They are totally worth it
An ideal trophy husband is worth every single dime of investment that goes into marrying him, and here's why: he will be whatever his wife or husband needs him to be. Life of the party, arm candy, adviser, listening ears, back rubs and the big O at his spouse's beck and call, unlimited massages, you name it.
Even more, this same man knows his place in the relationship, including stepping back when needed and vice-versa. He literally puts his wife’s needs above his and doesn’t complain. Most wives get one or the other from a man, but a trophy husband will outdo himself and bring it all to maintain his status, as long as the incentive stays flowing.
Start by investing in your looks. Sculpt a body that’s hard to resist and upgrade your wardrobe to classic gentleman standard. Then date and mingle with single older, richer women to learn their ways. When you find one with potential, play the long game of wooing and charming her continuously rather than attempting to make a quick buck.
A trophy partner is one who would ordinarily be out of your league but isn’t because you have money or power. Usually, a younger and more attractive partner, gotten by the grace of your status, and who you show off as a trophy.
A good trophy wife secures her place in her husband’s life by bringing more than just her banging body to the table. She gives herself to her spouse's service and hones all the skills necessary to make him look even better. A good trophy wife is a woman who can be whatever he husband needs her to be.
Step husband can refer to the ex-husband of one’s wife. However, it’s also slang used to describe people who are so close, others assume they are together.
A trophy relationship is one where one partner is in it not because they fell in love with the other, but because they are wealthy or powerful or popular. The person pretending is usually just in it for the bragging rights, even if the other catches real feelings. Although in more mature ones like with trophy husbands and wives, each side knows exactly what their role is in the relationship.
Just like the wives, trophy husbands are here to stay. Maybe we still have some ground to cover before they no longer get the side-eye, but they’re certainly less of an anomaly now than they used to be. Anyways, I’d like to hear your thoughts on the list along with your very own trophy husband facts, so leave them in the comments and share the post before you close.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.