Too Shy To Date (13 Ways To Date When You’re Shy)

Being a shy person could mean you find it hard to cope with people you are not too familiar with or even be comfortable in an unfamiliar environment. You get easily uncomfortable, and this can affect your daily interactions with people. 

That said, being too shy does not in any way imply that you deserve a bad relationship. It is, therefore, necessary for a girl to know her strengths and weaknesses. 

In this article, I will provide basic tips on scaling through the dating process even when you’re too shy to date. 

13 Ways To Date When You’re Shy

1. Know what you want

As far as I am concerned, knowing what you want regarding a relationship is an essential step in getting things right. It doesn’t matter if you are a shy person or not, being able to accurately spell out the features of the kind of man you want is too important to neglect. 

Knowing these personal attributes will guide you in picturing the kind of man that will compliment your personality. If you date someone who you’re not compatible with, being shy will always seem like a disability in a relationship. 

2. Make more friends

make more friends

One of the noticeable features of a shy person is their small circle of friends. Shyness doesn’t necessarily mean women won’t have friends or have a social circle. However, shy women have often been associated with having poor social skills. As such, even when an opportunity comes for them to socialize and expand their circle, they’d rather ignore it. 

They rather just remain in their comfort zone hoping that the right person finds them. This behavioral pattern is not helpful when getting into a relationship. Furthermore, sticking to your normal routine of getting up in the morning, going to work, heading straight home after work, and never making time out for extra activities will not help you exercise your ‘social muscles’. 

It is advisable that you make out time for night outs, go to the gym, sign up for a social club, and be ready to mingle

3. Try online dating

Technological advancement has paved the way for internet relationships. This innovation has been more of a blessing to women who struggle with shyness and cannot easily make friends. On that note, if you are too overwhelmed by physical connections, and cannot seem to get your way around finding a partner the good old way, it might be time for you to try online platforms for a change. 

This method of dating has been identified as being easier compared to talking or making frequent eye contact. Nevertheless, it still requires some sort of individual effort to get it working. 

4. Work on your offline skills

As much as you may want to avoid crossing this bridge, you must eventually cross it. After meeting your match on an online dating app, getting to know him better, and possibly making a few calls; you’ll certainly have to meet each other at some point. In this situation, your offline social skills will be needed. 

Interacting online might seem very comfortable for you as there is no physical contact to get you uncomfortable—you can reply whenever you are comfortable, and say whatever you feel like because he isn’t there in person. On the contrary, offline interaction is different and tougher for women who are too shy to date in person. 

However, if you’re going to have a budding love life, you have to be open to face-to-face dates, and therefore, work up the confidence to communicate with others.

5. Improve yourself

improve yourself

Getting into a romantic relationship is something that women interpret differently. To someone that’s an extrovert, and probably likes adventures, the process of meeting different guys will sound very interesting to her. 

On the other hand, if you are a timid person, this process will only seem like a nightmare to you. However, it can be made easier if you put in the effort to improve yourself. One of the ways you can do this is signing up for a social club, getting a gym membership, and engaging in any other outdoor activity that would aid in meeting new friends and acquaintances. 

6. Be flexible enough to make adjustments

It is important to note that this article is written with the sole purpose of helping anyone who is struggling with shyness and dating. This being the case, I only offer possible solutions to the problem. That being said, it is necessary to point out that your ideal six-packed man may not always be the best thing for you. 

It is in your best interest to be flexible enough to adjust to changes when necessary. Adapting to changes here means checking out other options in an event where your ideal man isn’t quite what you expected. 

There are instances where you’ve met someone online, had a good connection via the internet, and on meeting him, he isn’t what you expected. This should not be a deterrent to you, in fact, things like this should take the backseat if he’s nice, impressionable, kind, and understanding. Looks don’t sustain a relationship, good character does.  

7. Be open to people’s views

It is necessary to inform you that on this journey, you will be meeting a lot of guys; some of which will have very odd points of view. It is important for you to not judge them, be racist, rude, or discriminate. Opening up to people’s views doesn’t necessarily mean you should accept their opinions, but at least do not judge them. 

8. Don’t be scared of rejection

don't be scared of rejection

The fear of rejection lurks around in the minds of just about everybody. It even gets worse when you are a shy person. The fear of this has hindered many from taking great steps in life, as well as getting into relationships. This is because a lot of women do not want to be rejected, neither can they handle it. 

Trying to get into a relationship entails going through a process that would involve meeting lots of people, and possibly getting rejected. It is, therefore, imperative that you do not allow the fear of rejection to deter you from the goal ahead. Your goal is to find a man that will compliment you, as well as help you grow. The fear of rejection should not ruin that. 

9. Staying positive

Having the right mindset is an essential part that cannot be overemphasized when achieving success in anything. It is necessary to stay positive at all times regardless of the setbacks you might encounter. Try to push back on those negative thoughts that may always creep into your mind. 

Furthermore, keep in mind that the odds will not necessarily be in your favor all the time, hence, you have to work extra hard to get things going for you. If you do not challenge yourself or at least get out of your comfort zone, your dating life would probably remain the same.

10. Build self-confidence

One of the best approaches to apply when trying to get into a relationship is to work on your confidence. If you are a shy person, there is a high chance that your confidence level is at its minimal when it comes to dealing with others. This can adequately explain why you feel shy, timid, and uncomfortable around other men and women as well. 

Remember that you can only enjoy the comfort of online dating for a while, and sooner or later you will have to display your offline skills. Working on your confidence would be of great use to you, especially when you are on the journey of meeting someone new

11. Change your perspective

It may also be time for you to change your perspective on life. You can’t keep seeing life in black and white; you need to add some color and try new things. This includes changing your boring routine, engaging in other fun activities, hanging out with friends, and associating with more confident women whose bubbly characters can rub off on you

It would be of great help as you will get to explore the other side of life that you probably have been missing out on. More so, the change in perspective will allow you the leverage of improving your social skills. 

12. Give people a chance

give people a chance

There is one significant error shy women usually make, they write off people too soon. This usually happens the moment they get a quick signal that you are doing something wrong, or when they get uncomfortable. 

It becomes a defense mechanism they use to avoid getting to know people. This mechanism will only leave you single and waiting for the right man all your life. It is advisable that you give people the benefit of the doubt before blocking, deleting, or cutting them off from your life. 

13. Be patient

In my opinion, I would say that this is the most important step to take in this journey. Nothing good ever comes easily and quickly as the case may be. You have to exercise patience to find the right man for you. Do not be in a hurry, or be easily discouraged. Rather, take your time and explore your options till you find what you are looking for.  


How do you date when you are shy? 

There are several approaches to dating when you are too shy. A few of these include working on your self-confidence, giving good guys a chance, trying online dating to improve your communication skills, discarding the fear of rejection, and making more friends. 

How do you get a shy guy to date you?

The first step to take when trying to make a shy guy date you is to avoid awkward conversations, do not make his shyness a topic, take it slowly with him, avoid taking him to crowded places, appreciate and compliment him often, and don’t wait for him to ask you on a date

How do I stop being shy in a relationship?

There are several ways women can handle shyness in a relationship and a few of them include, working on your communication skills, talking to your partner about your situation, engaging in outdoor activities that may boost your self-confidence, and making new friends. 

Is being shy attractive? 

Rather than saying being shy is attractive, we could say that the modesty in shyness is attractive. Shy people are naturally modest and humble. They are not loud as they do not like drawing too much attention, the mystery in this could be attractive to many. 

Do guys like shy girls?

This solely depends on the individual’s personality in question. While some guys will adore shy women, another section of the male population might find them boring and too unconventional. Nevertheless, every personality has its match. 

In conclusion

This article has adequately furnished you with thirteen different ways on how to date as a shy person; making new friends, knowing what you want, and working on your communication skills, amongst others. There is always a solution to every relationship problem. 

If you found this article helpful, please feel free to like and share it. 

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