In today’s world, we tend to prioritize career before family, or family before career. What if I told you that you could do both? In order to do both, you simply have to prioritize your relationship or a future one.
It sounds simple enough, but this can become complicated when you have to deal with last-minute meetings. Your life is already packed so full you barely have friends. It definitely gives the impression that dating is off the table.
Having a relationship is not impossible though. In fact, you can have your career and still have a healthy relationship. People say that they are too busy because it’s an excuse, dating is not a priority, or because they’ve been in so many relationships in which their work schedule was a problem that they think they can’t have both. I’ve had both, and it’s more than possible.
- 1 The Keys To Dating Even Though You Think You’re Too Busy For A Relationship
- 1.1 1. Check out online dating
- 1.2 2. Understand that you have low attention needs, and need the same
- 1.3 3. Decide whether you really want a relationship
- 1.4 4. Romantic relationships need to be a priority
- 1.5 5. Communication is key
- 1.6 6. Understand that you also need your space
- 1.7 7. Understand that careers don’t last forever
- 1.8 8. Don’t go weeks without a date
- 1.9 9. Don’t cancel if you can avoid it
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
The Keys To Dating Even Though You Think You’re Too Busy For A Relationship
Dating isn’t going to be the same when you work 16 hours a day. You’ll have to find time in your schedule. It will seem like there is no free time for someone for a week or two at a time. That doesn’t mean that you can’t make it work. You can have a fulfilling relationship just like everyone else that focused on the family before their career if you follow these tips.
1. Check out online dating
More and more people are unbelievably busy today. It can make it difficult to meet people. When you are meeting people, you can’t help but wonder if your schedule is going to bother them as it did in your last relationship.
On top of that, you just don’t have time to go out to dinner with every cute person that you meet. You’re already busy, so you already know that you don’t want to waste time dating people that you have no future with.
That’s where online dating outshines traditional methods. You can talk to people and determine whether you want to move forward. It’s a great opportunity to discuss your schedule so you know whether it will be a problem before moving forward.
2. Understand that you have low attention needs, and need the same
Because you’re constantly at work, you don’t need as much attention as other people might. You’re more than likely confident, and don’t need validation all the time either.
Look for those same qualities in a partner. You don’t want someone blowing up your phone all day because you were in meetings. At the same time, you don’t want to feel obligated to text them all day. In the long run, both situations will breed resentment.
3. Decide whether you really want a relationship
Sometimes, we say this as an excuse. It’s a flimsy excuse at best. The fact is, a relationship is not a priority in your life right now. You need to decide whether you really are working that much or are making excuses because of an underlying issue or belief. If you are, work on those.
4. Romantic relationships need to be a priority
If you’re ready to take the leap or have already started dating, it’s important to understand that your relationship needs to be on the list. Even people that work all day have a few spare minutes to send a text message.
You might not be able to schedule a date night once a week, but once a month might work. Regardless of how you do it, you need to make some time if you would like a real relationship.
5. Communication is key
One of the biggest problems that people have when dating a busy person is the lack of communication. Instead of telling a girl that they need alone time, a guy will simply not text for three days. This leaves the female wondering if he likes her and feeling confused. The other person may not feel valued either, and that’s not something that you want in a relationship.
Instead, try to check in once a day. If you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend is busy, expect that. Talk to him about it. It does not take long to send one text.
6. Understand that you also need your space
It’s a common misconception that people get space from their partners when they are at work. Just because you don’t spend every hour with them does not mean that you’re getting personal time in. If you’re surrounded by other people, sometimes you need time to decompress. Don’t forget to communicate that as well.
7. Understand that careers don’t last forever
While you might be so focused on your career that it takes priority above other things, there are so many things to life. If you don’t enjoy them or have someone to enjoy them with, you’ll eventually find that your career has stabilized and you’re quite lonely.
It’s okay for your career to take priority. In fact, it should if you want to excel or climb the corporate ladder. However, you can have other priorities too.
8. Don’t go weeks without a date
While you guys might not be able to go to a movie every single week, you shouldn’t go for a long time without going out together either. It’s all about finding balance in life. Make sure that your work is done, but you can also make sure that your partner gets some quality time as well.
If that is a struggle, consider doing little things that let them know that you both care and value them in-between quality nights together. For example, you can:
- Send them a text message on the way to work
- Give them a quick update during your lunch hour
- Call them at night before you go to bed
- Go for a walk together
- Show affection when you do see them
- Pick them up a small present that reminds you of them
- Giving someone flowers is always a great idea
Making someone feel like they don’t matter is the last thing that anyone wants to do. However, that’s usually what happens when workaholics are in relationships. It leads to the other person choosing to walk away because they feel like the person with a busy schedule simply doesn’t care.
9. Don’t cancel if you can avoid it
One thing that busy people are notorious for is canceling, especially at the last minute. They forgot to text and say that they couldn’t make it. Or they were going to make it on time but found out at the last minute that it just wasn’t possible. Maybe something came up. Regardless of the reason, canceling dates is inconsiderate and offensive to the other person.
If you absolutely have to cancel a date, follow up with a sentence about when you can reschedule. If you’re not sure what your plans are for the following weekend, let your partner know.
Simply tell them “Hey, I’d love to re-schedule for this weekend but I’m not sure what’s going on yet. I’ll have to let you know.” This sends the message that you’re still interested and lets them know that you want to see them again. Once again, communication is key.
No, but you can be too busy for a partnership with a person that has low self-esteem, no hobbies, is co-dependent, needy, or just has high attention needs in general. Even if you’re busy, you can still make the other person feel loved and valued. That’s necessary for any relationship.
It’s either an excuse, and not a very good one, or it’s because they’ve been in so many relationships that they simply did not have time for the other person. It’s very common for busy people to get burned once and assume that they can’t have one until their life slows down.
Make dating a priority. Find little ways to let the other person know that you care. Making choices together shows that you value their opinion. Text them, but let them know you don’t have time to text all day.
If your daily planner is packed all the time, this can work out well for both of you. If this isn’t you, consider finding something to do. Pic up a few hobbies and maintain your own interests. If that sounds horrible, don’t do it. If you’re more independent, yes. If quality time is your love language, this is not for you.
Make sure that need him but don’t be too needy. Compliment him on his work. Reach out to him to let him know that you like him. Cook for him. Look at what he’s too busy to do and offer to help. Don’t ignore the fact that physical attraction is also important to men.
If you say that you’re too busy for a person, these tips are definitely worth considering. If you like a busy man, these tips can help you keep you two together. What else would you add to the list?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.