A third date is something special. It means you’ve aced the first date, which is a bit like an interview for some people. The second date obviously went well, and you still want to go to dinner with them. Now, it’s time for the third date.
There are quite a few things that the third date means, and a couple that it definitely doesn’t mean. Make sure that you know what you’re in for with a third date before you head out the door.
- 1 Why A Third Date Matters So Much
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
Why A Third Date Matters So Much
The first date is usually a bit awkward. You’re still getting to know each other. At this point, you might be speaking on a regular basis. This is why the first impression is important, but if you blow the rest of it you might be okay.
The second date means that both of you liked each other enough to give it a shot without the awkwardness. It means that you’re still interested in getting to know each other. So far, things are probably going good.
Then, the third date happens. This date is actually a big deal. By now, you both have gotten over the awkwardness. You’ve talked on the phone more.
By a third date, you might even be establishing a routine or pattern in your dating. This is why it means that you have relationship potential. It’s also why the third date is much more important than the first two. However, this is only one of a few reasons that you should make a considerable effort not to blow the third date.
1. A Third Date Could Be Your Last Chance
If you blew the first two dates, but you’re still going out for a third, it means they’re giving you a last chance. It’s similar to the three strikes you’re out rule in baseball.
The first one, they probably just thought you were nervous. On the second date, the other person started to wonder if you two are compatible. The third night together is really just to make sure that they don’t want to have future dates with you if the first two were horrible.
These signs will tell you whether he’s thinking about long-term potential or if he should block your number. Pay attention to the following:
- How often he calls or texts
- Does he remember your stories?
- What are his plans for the night?
- Have you spent time between the second and third really getting to know the other person or just exchanging “wyd” text messages?
- Does he do or say things to make you smile?
When a guy is interested in you, he’ll act a certain way, even through text messages. Pay attention to those tiny details to determine which way he’s headed.
2. The Third Date Rule Means You Could Get Intimate
As a general dating rule, a girl shouldn’t sleep with a guy before the third date. If you do on the first date, he might think you’re too easy to be his girlfriend. The second date is always iffy territory. The third time you’re together is pretty safe. It means that you can test drive the car that might be your future boyfriend before buying, so to speak.
In addition to that, it means that you won’t be called a slew of names because you wanted to get intimate with him on the first date. It’s a win-win.
However, it’s important to do what you feel like. If you do not want to get intimate with him that night, don’t. You should never do something you’re uncomfortable with because of a date rule. Instead, if this dating rule isn’t up your alley, come up with your own date rule. Then, stick with it.
A great way to do this is to determine your boundaries before you start dating someone. Once you already know things that you will, and won’t, do, it sets the stage for how your future dates will go. This set of expectations can also make sure that you attract men that have the same relationship goals that you do.
3. A Third Date Doesn’t Mean You’re Exclusive
While this might mean that you both have chemistry, or see potential in the other one, it does not mean that you are in a relationship. The third date means there is potential for a long-term relationship if you still like each other. Nothing more.
It’s common for people to think that if they are on the third date that it means they are headed for a relationship. Then, they let their guard down. Their manners slip. They start to discuss childhood trauma. Ultimately, this results in people doing too much, too soon. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that a third date is the equivalent of saying the two of you are in a relationship.
4. The Third Date Is Time To Find Out What You Want To Know
During this date, you’ve moved well beyond the small talk and nervousness of the first two. This means that you can openly ask someone if they are a convicted felon. You can ask them questions to get to know them or to see if they have a deal-breaker. This date is all about deciding if you want to see more of them, or never see them again. It will help you determine if they’re a booty call, or relationship potential.
Make sure that you plan the date to sync perfectly with the goal to get to know them on another level. A crowded, noisy bar is not ideal for this date. Neither are the movies where you’ll both be quiet and watch the movie. Instead, opt for:
- Dinner at a quiet restaurant
- A walk in the park with a picnic
- An aquarium or zoo
- To a carnival or fair
If those third-date ideas don’t sound appealing, check out this list. A dating coach developed a comprehensive list of ideas that are guaranteed to sound fun! Spend some time together, and then close the night off with some more intimate time together to talk. However, be prepared for the dreaded third-date confessions.
5. You Should Feel Comfortable With Them By Your Third Date
If you don’t feel comfortable with someone by this time, that’s a huge red flag. By now, you should have been texting, calling, and gotten to know each other a little bit better.
If you don’t suffer from mental health issues that often result in you taking longer to feel comfortable around someone, listen to your instincts. Do not go on a fourth night out with someone because you can’t quite put your finger on what is going on with them. Your gut will never steer you wrong.
It means they really like you, or really don’t like you! Rarely, they’ll give you that last chance, which is this night out. If the first ones were duds, that’s what is happening. If they went great and communication is going strong, it means they really like you!
This rule states that this is the earliest you can sleep together. Being intimate too soon is a horrible idea. However, being intimate too late means that you might find out too late the other person is horrible in bed or appear uninterested. A third date is a perfect balance!
It means he’s having a good time with you, and interested in future dates. For some men, it means that they have a chance at scoring. (Men also know about the third date rule, which makes things complicated.) Last, it doesn’t always mean they are thinking of a relationship.
It’s a great sign! This means that you guys are still comfortable and enjoy time spent together. It’s a good sign that there is going to be more time spent together in the future. However, it only means long-term relationship material for some people, not all.
Until you both say it’s official. It can be anywhere from 5-10 dates. Most men and women discuss this option after date number four, although three is another popular number. The most popular number of dates before becoming official is six. Remember, this varies depending on the people involved.
The third date is one of the most important ones. This is when you’ll decide to move forward, or move away. How do you handle going on a third date?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.