There are many things you should never tolerate in a relationship. For one, you should never be with someone who makes you feel worthless, afraid, or insecure about yourself. Body shaming is one example of this. It makes you feel as if you should be ashamed about the way you look rather than loved!
Another thing you should never tolerate is abuse. Relationships should be full of respect and love, not anger and fear. If you are in a relationship that has physical abuse in it, you should get out of it and contact the authorities to turn this person in. This is a big red flag that this person is not good for you. In fact, they need to work on themselves to get better!
A third example of what you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship is controlling behavior. Controlling behavior means that one person bosses the other person around or manipulates them in various ways. This is a red flag you should watch out for!
In this article, we will talk about the things you should never tolerate in a relationship. That way, you will know what to look for when in a relationship – love, respect, and compassion!
- 1 Top Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship
- 1.1 1. A selfish partner who does not care about you is not good
- 1.2 2. Never tolerate mental abuse
- 1.3 3. Don’t put up with someone who ignores you
- 1.4 4. Flakiness is not a good thing in a relationship
- 1.5 5. Never tolerate physical abuse
- 1.6 6. A lack of communication has no place in a healthy relationship
- 1.7 7. Don’t put up with a partner who physically cheats on you.
- 1.8 8. An emotional affair is unacceptable, as well
- 1.9 9. Never tolerate manipulation
- 1.10 10. You should never be afraid to speak your mind
- 1.11 11. Never tolerate emotional abuse
- 1.12 12. Make sure your needs are being met in a relationship
- 1.13 13. A lack of attention has no place in a healthy relationship
- 1.14 14. Likewise, your partner shouldn’t be giving all of his or her attention elsewhere
- 1.15 15. Intimidation and control should never be tolerated in a relationship
- 1.16 16. Lies and deception have no place in a relationship
- 1.17 17. Never tolerate sexual abuse
- 1.18 18. Insults should not be tolerated in a relationship
- 1.19 19. You should never tolerate passive-aggressive behavior
- 1.20 20. Don’t have a relationship with anyone who makes you feel worthless
- 1.21 21. If someone refuses to acknowledge your relationship, move on
- 1.22 22. Never tolerate stealing in a relationship
- 1.23 23. Make sure your partner shows you the right amount of affection
- 1.24 24. Don’t put up with threats in a relationship
- 1.25 25. Don’t stay with someone just because you are afraid of being alone
- 1.26 26. Make sure your partner is not too insecure
- 1.27 27. Don’t be with anyone you quit liking
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
Top Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship
1. A selfish partner who does not care about you is not good
You should be with someone who wants to take care of you, someone who shows you love by the way they treat you. When selfish behavior is present, it’s very hard to do those things. Instead, your man cares only about himself and what he wants to talk about.
A giving, caring man will put you first. Look for someone who has your best interests in mind. Find a person who will value your relationship and enjoy the time you spend together. You may find that this person listens well and wants to learn more about you because he values you and what you have to say!
2. Never tolerate mental abuse
Mental abuse may occur when your partner says things that frighten you. Look for the signs of mental abuse, and if you feel afraid, you should end the relationship and look for a partner who would never dream of treating you this way! If you are fearful for your life, contact the authorities right away, and you may want to talk to a therapist.
3. Don’t put up with someone who ignores you
You are a valuable person who has a right to your own thoughts, opinions, and words! You should never put up with someone who has decided to ignore what you have to say. This man might do things like talk over you when you talk or just not listen to what you have to say. You deserve to say whatever you want to when you are in a relationship!
You may want to distance yourself from someone who treats you this way. You could take a break from the relationship if you think it could be restored, but be sure that you speak to your partner about what is bothering you. Expecting him to read your mind is unreasonable. You will want to make sure he knows why you need time apart.
4. Flakiness is not a good thing in a relationship
This is one thing that I cannot stand! When someone is unreliable, in my book, they are flaky. Like, I’ve had boyfriends who say they will pick me up at a certain time, and they don’t bother calling to explain what happened; instead, they just never show up. This kind of behavior is not to be tolerated. It’s completely disrespectful!
5. Never tolerate physical abuse
If you get slapped or hurt even one time, it is unacceptable. Contact the authorities right away, and get away from this person immediately. Get your children and leave. You do not deserve this kind of treatment at all. No love is present when someone abuses another person. This is unacceptable behavior, and you should run!
6. A lack of communication has no place in a healthy relationship
Communication is essential in a relationship, so make sure you are able to freely talk to the person you are with. If you are afraid to speak your mind or express your feelings, there is a lack of communication in your relationship, and you can do better! Look for a man who will value what you have to say!
7. Don’t put up with a partner who physically cheats on you.
If your partner has had sex with another person, you need to go ahead and leave him. He didn’t respect the sanctity of your relationship. Instead, he basically spits on it by sharing physical contact with another person. You should never put up with this. If you think it was a one-time mistake, you could see about going to couples therapy.
However, usually, this type of betrayal is difficult to recover from. A qualified therapist may be able to give you the right tools and techniques to get over something like this or to deal with it in an appropriate manner, but your feelings may not be restored. Make sure your partner will not repeat this mistake if you do decide to forgive him.
8. An emotional affair is unacceptable, as well
Emotional affairs take place when someone shares an emotional bond with someone other than their partner. This type of affair can often be more hurtful than physical cheating because your man has shared his feelings and emotions with another woman. This may be a tough one to recover from if it’s happened in your relationship.
9. Never tolerate manipulation
Does your partner make you feel crazy? Do you feel as if you aren’t even sure who you are anymore because of the way your partner talks to you? Don’t let anyone manipulate you because they are just insecure and acting out. It’s just going to harm you in the long run. Go ahead and leave anyone who makes you feel like a smaller person!
10. You should never be afraid to speak your mind
If you are worried what you say will hurt the feelings of the person you are in a relationship with, you should know that they are probably manipulating you in some way. You are fearful that what you say may cause a fight. If it does, so be it. That’s the way the cards fall; you should never be afraid to say what’s on your mind.
Remember that you are a valuable person who has every right to speak what’s on your mind. If you don’t feel like you can safely do this in your relationship, you are probably not in a very healthy one. Instead, find someone who enjoys talking to you and someone with whom you enjoy having a conversation. No one should intimidate you!
11. Never tolerate emotional abuse
Emotional abuse happens when one person feels unworthy and less of a person because of something the other person has said or done. Your self-worth and emotional well-being may be damaged if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. If this continues, you could become scarred for a very long time! Get out of that partnership!
12. Make sure your needs are being met in a relationship
If your needs aren’t being met in your relationship, you are probably not in a good one. At least, this partnership is not right for you because you have needs that are not being met. Instead, end this relationship and go find someone who is able to meet your needs. I would probably not do this right away. Instead, take time for yourself!
13. A lack of attention has no place in a healthy relationship
Does your partner no longer have time for you? Does he not give you the amount of attention you deserve? You might talk to him about the level of attention you need. If he thinks he can step it up, you might be able to salvage the relationship. If he doesn't feel that he can, you should find someone who is able to give you the amount you need.
14. Likewise, your partner shouldn’t be giving all of his or her attention elsewhere
Is your partner a workaholic or addicted to his best bud? When he’s in a relationship, you should be near the top of his list of things to do. He should WANT to spend most of his time with you! If he doesn’t put you high on his list of priorities, he may not be the man for you. Consider talking to him about his priorities to see where you stand.
15. Intimidation and control should never be tolerated in a relationship
When control and intimidation take place, that means that one partner has serious insecurity issues that he needs to work on. Maybe he feels like he is a better person when he’s able to boss you around. That’s not acceptable. Make sure you are valued in your relationship and treated with a great deal of respect. You deserve it!
16. Lies and deception have no place in a relationship
Lying and deception are very hard things to forgive in a relationship. They should not be tolerated because they make it, so you do not have the amount of trust you need to maintain a healthy relationship. Why do you think your man feels the need to lie to you? Is he just afraid of upsetting you over something? Answer these questions honestly.
You may be in a situation where your partner is lying or not telling you something because he is fearful of your reaction, not because he is a dishonest person. If you want to try to make things work, you should explain that you will not get upset if he is honest with you. Then, you need to keep this promise! By talking it out, you could fix things!
17. Never tolerate sexual abuse
Sexual abuse includes things like rape or unwanted sexual contact. If you are in a relationship with this, make sure you contact the authorities right away. Get the help you need from a hospital. Make sure they know what happened so that you can be treated the right way, and get this jerk sent away to prison for what he’s done.
There is no excuse for this behavior. Make sure you get out of this relationship right away. You don’t need to be treated this way, even if he does have other great qualities! No one deserves this! Find a way to get out. There are many support agencies that can help you. You should meet with a qualified counselor to get the healing you need.
18. Insults should not be tolerated in a relationship
Name-calling and insults should never be tolerated in a relationship. Instead, you should be called beautiful names, like a gorgeous, pretty girl, or my love. Make sure you are treated with the right amount of respect when you are in a relationship!
19. You should never tolerate passive-aggressive behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when one person gets upset over something and expects the other person to read their mind. For example, if you say, “You pick!” but really mean, “Pick what I want!” you are showing passive-aggressive behavior because you are expecting your partner to read your mind and do what you want.
20. Don’t have a relationship with anyone who makes you feel worthless
You should always feel confident in who you are. Don't ever let anyone make you feel worthless by the things they say or do! If you feel bad about yourself when you're around your boyfriend, you are probably not in a healthy relationship.
21. If someone refuses to acknowledge your relationship, move on
Make sure your partner is not ashamed or something like that when it comes to you and him being in a relationship. Instead, he should be happy to spread the word that you are in a partnership.
22. Never tolerate stealing in a relationship
Believe it or not, this does occur in relationships. I had a boyfriend once who lost his job and used one of my credit cards to support himself. He stole thousands of dollars from me, and at the time, I did not realize what had happened. I know, a big part of that was my fault, but still… It was wrong of him to do that. Don’t let someone steal from you!
23. Make sure your partner shows you the right amount of affection
If you are in a relationship without affection, are you really in a romantic relationship? Instead, I would have to say you just have a friendship if there is no physical contact. I guess one exception would be if you are waiting until marriage to have sex. However, I would still expect that you would hold hands and hug each other!
24. Don’t put up with threats in a relationship
Don’t let anyone threaten you and make you worried about your future with this person. You should feel confident and free to make any decision you wish to make without being worried that your partner is going to leave you because you did not do exactly what he or she wanted you to do. You don’t need anyone to be threatening you!
25. Don’t stay with someone just because you are afraid of being alone
If you are in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone, you need to get out. That is not the right time to be in a commitment. You could hurt their feelings or mess up your life by doing this. Get out, and learn to be okay by yourself. In the long run, you will be so thankful you did this.
26. Make sure your partner is not too insecure
When one partner is insecure, often, he or she will accuse you of cheating or doing something else out of character. This kind of insecurity will not help either of you. Instead, you will both just despise each other for various reasons. Be with someone who is confident in who he or she is, someone who can be themselves – a secure person!
27. Don’t be with anyone you quit liking
Just because you’ve been with this person for a very long time doesn’t mean you need to stay with them. If you are with them only because of that reason, you need to move on. If you don’t like being with them, if you regret choosing them as your partner, or if you dislike spending time with them, you are in it for the wrong reasons! Get out!
If your partner doesn’t treat you like a normal human, you may need to find someone else. You should have a loving relationship with the truth, trust, and respect in it. One point you need to always keep in mind is that you need to take care of yourself!
Cheating and abuse are two unforgivable things in relationships. If relationships have these things, the love and trust cannot be restored, or it will take a lot of time and dedication to restore them. Make it a point to be in loving relationships where support and trust are valued!
If your girlfriend goes out with another man, that can harm the relationship. Relationships that have trust broken are difficult to repair. There is a lot of anger and resentment that comes along with cheating. It’s better to just stay faithful, honest, and loyal to your partner!
If your man calls you names or tells you that you are worthless, you need to find a new one. You should never deal with a man who makes you feel insecure about the way you look or act. Instead, you should both carry the responsibility of respecting one another.
If you have more to offer your partner than they do you, you should watch out. What are you getting out of the relationship? Are they taking responsibility for their actions? Have they decided to treat you poorly because they want something out of you?
Are you in a healthy relationship or one that needs to be fixed? Is it time to end the relationship you are in right now? Have you experienced red flags like slut-shaming, a lack of romance or trust, or too much anger? What sign is showing you it’s over?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.