Sometimes you can’t avoid texting your ex if you have to ask him an important question or if there is something of yours that he still has and you want back, but there are some things that you shouldn’t ever text your ex. Breakups are hard and it may be really tempting for you to text your ex, however, it is not usually a good idea.
Unless you have a proper cause to text him or you need to ask his advice or you need to ask for something of your back from him, then it probably isn’t a good idea to text him at all.
You are no longer in a relationship, so texting your ex probably isn’t a good idea. You at least need some time of no contact after you have broken up to figure out what you want.
While you probably shouldn’t send text messages to him at all there are some things that you shouldn’t ever text your ex. Keep reading this article to find out more about what things that you definitely shouldn’t text someone after a breakup. These are important things to remember, especially if you hope to get back together with this person in the future.
Things You Should Never Text Your Ex
While texting your ex at all may not be a good idea, there are certain things that you definitely should never text someone that you have broken up with. You have broken up with each other for certain reasons, so you cannot text him as you used to about every single thing. This is not fair on either of you and it won’t lead to anything positive.
Here are some things that you should avoid texting to your ex at all costs.
1. Single-word texts
Don’t just text your ex one word such as “hi” or “hey.” If you are texting him because you need to ask him something then ask him or say it straight away and get to the point. Don’t put him in an awkward position or make him try and understand why you are contacting him. Avoid texting one-word texts in this way to your ex.
If you send him a one-word text without meaning or explanation, out of the blue, this will lead to a possible negative interpretation of this message by your ex. It is not a good idea to text him to say hi out of nowhere for no apparent cause. This will put him in a difficult position too and he may not be likely to even send you a reply.
These kinds of messages can be really misleading and he will likely be unsure as to the point of these words. So avoid texting him single words like this. If you absolutely need to text him for something then ask him a question or get straight to the point. Don’t just text him one word if it is not necessary, this is not helpful to either of you.
2. Don’t use pet names
You are no longer in a relationship so you can no longer use the pet names that you once had with him. If you have a good cause to text him, then do, but don’t use any pet names or other terms of endearment. Keep things a bit less casual than they once were. Don’t forget that you broke up for a reason and you can no longer talk in this way.
If you have broken up with a guy, it is no longer okay to call him by the pet names that you used in the past. It is no longer appropriate to use pet names for your ex. This is part of the relationship that is now in the past. Unless you get back together, you need to avoid calling him by these names that you used to call him.
It is no longer okay for you to call your ex by these names or any such names of endearment that you once used when you were in love. Calling him these names now may put you both in awkward positions and lead to you giving him a misleading message. He may also see it as you being desperate and trying to force him back into your life when he is not ready.
3. Flirty emojis
Just like you shouldn’t use pet names that you once had for your ex, neither should you send him flirty emojis. Keep things formal as you are no longer a couple and it is no longer appropriate after you have broken up. It is no longer appropriate to add flirty emojis on to every message that you send him like you did when you were together.
There is no need to be adding flirty emojis to the end of messages that you send to this guy anymore. While you may have done it all the time when you were in a relationship, this is no longer appropriate now you have broken up. Keep your messages casual but make sure they are in no way flirty as this may hinder your chances if you ever want to get back together.
Putting a flirty emoji at the end of a message that you are sending to your ex can send him misleading and unfair signals. He may see it as you desperately trying to get him back and this may push him even further away. Keep the messages that you send to him simple until you are able to build your connection up in the future.
It is not fair to send misleading or confusing signals to your ex especially if you don’t know how he feels about you. If he is still annoyed at you because of the breakup then he likely won’t appreciate you adding a flirty emoji to then end of the texts that you send him. So avoid adding flirty emojis to the texts that you send to your ex no matter what.
If you are still annoyed after you have broken up then talk to your friends or family about it. Don’t send aggressive or negative messages to him over texts. Don’t send him nasty messages when you are drunk or feeling lonely. It may be simple to send him negative texts but it won’t make you feel any better.
It is not fair to take your anger out on your ex over text. If you broke up you should have gotten all the anger out during a post-breakup conversation. You cannot keep reliving the past and texting this person again and again about matters that you are still mad about. This is not healthy for you or him and it definitely won’t bring you any closer.
Don’t text him if you are looking for closure as you likely won’t get any. If you text him asking for answers to questions, even if he does give you answers this will likely lead to you wanting answers to more questions. It definitely won’t lead to you getting any closure and will only have negative consequences.
If you are still angry at something that your ex did before you broke up to avoid at all costs texting him about it. Talk to your family and friends and give yourself time to move on. It is a good idea to have zero communication with your ex for a while too after you have broken up to give you both time to think and calm down.
5. Double text
If you have sent him one text then leave it at that, there is no need to send him double texts. Don’t ask him why he didn’t respond to the first message or ask him whether he got the first message that you sent him. If he doesn’t respond, he probably received the message but just didn’t want to respond. Don’t come across as needy or desperate by sending multiple messages.
No good will come from you double-texting your ex. This will only lead to him thinking that you are needy and you are desperately trying to force him to come back into your life against his will. You cannot force this person to love you or even respond to your text. If you have sent him a text and he hasn’t responded, there is a reason for this.
This is especially true if you know that he is a guy that is constantly on his phone. There is no possibility that he hasn’t seen the first message that you sent him, so sending another text is only going to make you look desperate. If he wanted to talk to you he would have responded to the first message that you sent him.
If he doesn’t respond to your first message and you know he always spends all of his time on social media and on his phone, then he is likely not replying because he just does not want to talk to you right now. This doesn’t mean that he may never want to reach out to you in the future, but right now he doesn’t want to be pressured into talking to you again.
It is important in this case to give him space as if you put pressure on him to reply to you or talk to you then the only thing that you are going to do is push him further away and ruin the chance of him ever reaching out to you. If you want to get back together in the future it is better to give him a chance to realize that he is really missing you, so don’t put pressure on him right now.
6. Don’t talk about the relationship
Don’t talk about your past relationship over text. Don’t talk about why you broke up over text or any post-breakup feelings. If you are still feeling sad and annoyed then talk to your family and friends about it, don’t text your ex right now. Talk about how you are feeling and your emotions with other people, but not with your ex.
Nothing good will come from you trying to reminisce about your relationship with that person right now. You broke up for a reason and he is likely still annoyed about certain aspects of the breakup. You cannot force him to run back to you, you can only give him space and time to realize that he does miss you and he wants to get back together.
Don’t mention what happened during your relationship with your ex. If you are missing him a lot at the moment then try and keep yourself busy with your work, your family and friends and your hobbies. You both need space to figure out what you really want, so refrain from messaging your ex anything about when you were in love or your emotions now.
Nothing positive will come from talking to your ex about your relationship over text. Lean on the people around you for support during the breakup, but try and avoid texting him about memories that you shared or something that you miss doing as the two of you. It is important to take some time and space after a breakup and not rush into anything, so don’t text him about the relationship.
7. Don’t tell him that you’re thinking of him
Anyone who has recently gone through a breakup will likely still be thinking about their ex. However, letting him know that you are thinking of him, is not helpful to either of you. Even if you are thinking about him all the time, this does not mean that he feels the same way as you right now. Give him time and space to figure out what he wants.
You broke up for a reason and these reasons likely haven’t disappeared since the breakup. So it is not helpful to text your ex to tell him that you are thinking of him. This could lead to you getting even more hurt as he may not be thinking of you or feel the same about you as you do about him. Give him more time to reach out and text you.
If you have broken up with a guy avoid texting him to tell him that you have been thinking about him. Nothing positive will come from you texting him in the way. The two of you decided to part ways for a reason and texting him that you’re thinking of him won’t change his mind now. If he wants to get back with you in the future, this will take time so give it to him.
If you have broken up with a guy then give him space to figure out what he really wants so don’t text him to tell him that you’ve been thinking of him and he’s been on your mind. This is not healthy and it won’t benefit either of you. If he is thinking the same way then he will likely contact you in the future, but don’t put pressure on the relationship right now.
Don’t try to get your ex back by desperately apologizing for the mistakes that you made. This will likely just make you look needy and won’t help the situation at all. You have probably already apologized to him multiple times during the breakup up and it does not help to text him that you are sorry now too.
He likely already knows that you are sorry for how it ended so texting him that you apologize will likely only serve to make you look needy.
On A Final Note
If you have recently broken up with your ex it may be tempting to message him but it is not usually a good or healthy idea to do this right now. You both need time and space. However, there are some messages that you should definitely never text your ex. Hopefully, this article has given you an idea of some of the messages you should never send to your ex.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.