When you ask people about the kind of relationships they want, they mention many positive things, including a loving, patient, and understanding partner. They could go as far as telling you the kind of perfect relationships they see in the movies, where there's honesty, trust, and commitment between two partners.
Well, there's no perfect relationship out there. It's expected to have a false perception about how your relationship should be, especially when you see a few ones that seem ideal—whether it's one of your family members, friends, or a random public figure. But, they all have an issue or more, which you may never know if they don't say.
That doesn't mean you can't have an almost perfect relationship if you try. A good relationship takes two willing partners to make it work. This means you both need to put in hard work, be ready to let some things go, see each other as best friends and teammates, and accept to be together.
Of course, there are many attributes you both need to achieve this; consciously build, maintain, and enjoy your relationship. Here are 21 good things you and your partner need to have in common for your relationship to succeed.
- 1 21 Good Things To Have In Common In A Relationship
- 1.1 1. Understanding
- 1.2 2. Time together
- 1.3 3. Intimacy and sex drive
- 1.4 4. Appetite for food
- 1.5 5. Likes and dislikes
- 1.6 6. Patience
- 1.7 7. Acceptance of each other's hobbies
- 1.8 8. Tolerance
- 1.9 9. Compromise
- 1.10 10. Partnership
- 1.11 11. Respect for comfort zone
- 1.12 12. Share the same or similar beliefs.
- 1.13 13. Support each other’s goals
- 1.14 14. Future plans
- 1.15 15. Self-acceptance
- 1.16 16. Compassion
- 1.17 17. Open-heartedness
- 1.18 18. Your willingness to grow and learn from each other
- 1.19 19. Have and respect boundaries
- 1.20 20. Attention
- 1.21 21. A good personality
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
21 Good Things To Have In Common In A Relationship
They say love conquers all in a relationship. This means that couples that are in love should not have any problem understanding one another. Both partners should have the attitude of accepting and understanding each other's differences.
To have a good relationship, you should understand why your partner is behaving a certain way or making a particular decision. You should also learn and avoid doing things that would piss them off. Understanding is a necessary quality you should have in common with your partner.
2. Time together
It's fun when couples have time to spend with each other. Of course, they may both have a tight schedule or have work that takes most of their time. What matters is each partner’s ability to create space in that tight schedule to spend quality time together.
This is when you talk about little secrets, reminisce about past events, and share little laughs. Couples who spend a short quality time together could build a better relationship than those who spend more time with each other but have very little or nothing in common.
3. Intimacy and sex drive
Sex has caused many issues in marriage. Some people love sex and can't stay without it because of the feeling it brings to them, while others feel it's overrated. You should be in a relationship with a spouse with the same level of intimacy and sex drive as you.
Most couples on a different level of intimacy and sex drive tend to have a little problem connecting emotionally. This is something most people either fail to understand or have no idea about. You could talk with your partner to completely know the dos and don'ts to do during sex or any other intimacy.
4. Appetite for food
Some people may think the appetite for food is a minor thing to look into. But, the truth is, it's necessary for couples to share a similar desire for meals. You may not necessarily bond with it, but have something to talk about and try if you're thinking of a long-term relationship.
It's easier for couples in marriage to adjust to each other if they have similar tastes or are enthusiastic about trying new meals. If not, they could find a way to meet in the middle and maintain harmony without feeling bad or having issues—this is something you should have in common with your partner.
5. Likes and dislikes
It would help if couples know each other’s likes and dislike. Of course, it's impossible to love or hate the same thing, but you should remember your partner is human and free to have individual preferences. For instance, they may like fish more, while your preference is beef.
Furthermore, other things help to do the magic too. For instance, try to learn each other's love language and act based on your observation. For a relationship to grow stronger in the long term, a couple should relate with one another based on each other's love language.
Most couples don't get used to each other as soon as they start a relationship. Some need time to learn and adjust to each other’s way of life. Either of you would do things to piss each other off in ways you can't explain.
Being patient with them means telling them about the feeling their bad attitude gives you, correcting their mistakes as many times as possible, and giving them time to take and apply those corrections. It means if you want to build a happy family, you need to have patience as a virtue in common with your partner.
7. Acceptance of each other's hobbies
It's an undeniable thing that everyone has a hobby, even if it's just enjoying a serene environment. For instance, some guys like to play or watch games, while some ladies like to shop, hang out with the girls or family. The aim here is for everyone to do what makes them happy.
The same thing applies to couples in a relationship. You're two individuals, each with different characteristics and ways of life. But one thing you and your partner should have in common is to learn to accept your hobbies and interests. You could join them to do it, or give them some space to have fun.
Every relationship has pet peeves from either of the couples. Nobody is perfect. This is why tolerance is a common thing couples should have, whether in marriage or any other romantic relationship. If you love someone and want to end up with them in marriage, you should learn to overlook minor differences.
Tolerance is needed to overcome some relationship pet peeves. Because neither you nor your partner is perfect, there would always be some flaws to deal with, those that will get on your nerves. Being tolerant may not be as easy as it sounds, but it's something you can learn together as a couple over time.
Compromise is sacrificing some of your habits to make your partner comfortable and your relationship happy. It doesn't mean you lose or sacrifice the core things you value for your marriage to succeed, but being a bit flexible for things to work between you and your significant other.
A couple should learn to compromise little things for each other. They should let go of some habits, behavior, or lifestyle they know would affect their marriage in the long or short term, which means meeting in the middle to avoid conflict. Compromise is one of the good things couples should have in relationships.
The partnership means you and your partner are a team, where you give each other room to contribute to the betterment of the relationship openly. It's the conscious ability of couples to be transparent and honest with each other and believes they can both handle situations with or without one another.
In a marriage or relationship where there's a partnership from both partners, they both have equal rights to contribute, agree or disagree, give each other enough time to grow, and enjoy the yielding results or face the losses together. But, there should be a balance of emotional and technical ties.
11. Respect for comfort zone
Everybody, no matter how friendly or social they are, needs some personal time alone. A moment they can get to have a different feeling of joy without pleasing anybody. They could hang out with friends, read a book, drink coffee in their favorite spot, or go for a walk just to reflect on their individual lives.
In successful relationships, couples should have this in common. Giving your partner time to be alone is one of those good things that help to make a relationship grow. It doesn't matter if they spend it to do the silliest thing or draft a vital business plan; they need it to breathe and appreciate life.
In relationships, it's advisable to be with a partner who agrees with your beliefs, whether they're religious or not. This is because those beliefs are part of the core values that make you a unique person. They are things you abide by and most likely not change even in the future.
If you have a conversation with your partner and they have a problem with yours or make negative comments about them, it may be a red flag to continue the relationship. Except you’re sure, they're right and have a logical explanation and perspective for thinking that way. This is a common thing couples should have in relationships.
13. Support each other’s goals
You may both have different goals or a direction where you want your career to go, but what matters most is your ability to support each other while still achieving your dreams as an individual. This shouldn’t be a one-way thing, but something from you and your partner, depending on who needs the help in the relationship.
Support is not about physically helping. You could be emotionally there or verbally supportive by saying positive words to your partner to encourage them. It could be as little as making coffee or tea for them while still respecting their work ethic. This is one of the things couples should have in common in relationships.
14. Future plans
Successful relationships are those with couples that have the same future plans. Even when those plans have differences, they should be similar or move in the same direction. If they're dating, they should both decide whether it will lead to marriage or not.
At the same time, if they're married already, they should decide if they'll like to have kids, how many of them, and the country they'll be both comfortable living in. It means couples should be on the same page for relationships to succeed. This is one of the everyday good things you should have in your relationship.
Before you love and accept someone else, you have to accept yourself first. It's a natural law that guides every individual. Manage your flaws, appreciate yourself for who you are, and forgive your mistakes whenever you find yourself on the wrong path. It's a few ways you can learn to accept yourself.
Many relationships lack this. Couples feel they should shower each other with all the love they can. They're not wrong, but the truth is, you won't know how to fully accept your partner if you don't start with yourself first. Do the things that make you happy first so that you can value your partner. This is a common thing couples should have in a relationship.
Compassion is when you love your partner to an unconditional level to show them kindness, sympathy, and sincerity. You feel their pain or why they're going through it in each phase of their lives, and make it one of your habits to ask caring questions often. This is when you avoid being selfish.
In every successful relationship, both partners should avoid hurting one another through words and actions. Your partner may not show it when you're nice to them, but they appreciate it. This is a way to express your care, and it's a common good thing people should possess in relationships. Like it connects people, compassion builds good relationships.
Having an open heart is one thing a couple should have in common. It's the ability to accept each other for who and what they are. When a partner takes a step and makes a mistake, it's left for the other partner to understand them and not judge for any reason.
Instead, each partner should try to see how they can help the situation and still love their significant other for the benefit of their relationship. One partner's mistake is not enough to break a couple. An open heart is an accommodating one, and couples should have this in common to last longer together.
18. Your willingness to grow and learn from each other
Not every couple has the attitude of learning from each other, making them build their relationship as separate individuals. If one or two partners always feel they're right about things, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. It doesn't mean they won't disagree, but their willingness to accept their mistakes and move on.
For your relationship to succeed, one thing you and your partner should have in common is an open mind to learn from each other, grow, and evolve step by step. You may go through stages of conflict or have a problem with your partner's way of correction, but you should pick a few points and try not to repeat the same mistake.
19. Have and respect boundaries
Most people believe couples shouldn't have boundaries in relationships. But, ignoring existing ones or failing to create some is disrespectful and means you have little regard for each other. For instance, setting boundaries may have to do with your personal belongings and how valuable they are to you.
It doesn't mean you don't trust your partner to touch them, it may be because they won't take care of them the way you would, or it's just something of great value you'd prefer nobody tampers with. It's necessary for you and your partner to have boundaries in your relationship.
Attention is a common good thing that will not just happen in your relationship magically. It's something couples have to put in conscious effort to achieve, where you listen to your partner and observe little details of what may affect you in the short or long term.
When your partner needs your attention, listen to them talk, and ask where you can help. It doesn't matter if you can help physically or not; you can be emotionally available when they need you. For a relationship to succeed, attention is something you should have in common with your partner.
21. A good personality
Personality is what makes each partner unique. If you're a goofy person or a lover of exciting things, and you love hanging out, having a nice family time, but your partner is the opposite of you, it may not be fun. It doesn't mean they should have your characteristics, but leave you some space to be yourself.
Maybe you can handle it as you both progress in the relationship, or you can come to a midpoint, but it would affect your mental health if you don't manage it well. So for a good relationship, you should have similar characteristics in common with your partner.
Having things in common is sharing similar thoughts, the same interests, and similar characteristics. It means you stop some attitudes or lifestyle to make your partner comfortable, hence, achieving a good relationship. It's setting goals you and your partner can plan together that'll complement your lives with little or no conflict.
Yes, it's essential to have specific characteristics in common to survive with each other for a long time. For any relationship to succeed, couples should have the same interests and core values to build a good friendship. So, where the level of emotional connection reduces, that friendship continues to gold the relationship.
Couples may not have common similarities, but it would be hard for them to survive with each other in the long term. So they should do to avoid having unnecessary issues. Each individual has a unique personality, but as a couple, yours should be compatible with your partner's.
Couples should have the same or similar hobbies and interests, food appetite, and sex drive. They should sacrifice for each other without feeling oppressed or used in any way. Couples should have habits of spending time together, laughing, and sharing the same or similar beliefs. These are the qualities that make a good relationship.
Out of the many things out there that make a good relationship, three of them include love, tolerance, and good communication. These are the three qualities that can further expand into the other positive ones to make a relationship successful. Some others include respect and patience from both partners.
Your relationship will succeed if you're compatible with your partner. Or, you both could decide to make things work for your good. Please don't hesitate to read the 21 good things you should have in common I've mentioned. I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, please drop a comment and share it with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.