Falling in love is a beautiful experience. There is nothing more exciting than the initial stage of a romantic relationship. Just the thought that he could be the one can be so overwhelming.
You go through some highs and lows and encounter several physical and emotional strains. However, at the end of the day, falling for someone is still one of the best things that could happen to a person.
Movies portray love as the immediate feelings a person gets when you see the man of your dreams. But it’s not always like that. In real life, there are love stages, and if you haven’t experienced them before, there’s no better time to learn.
A person needs to feel love to grow; the awareness of these things will give you a positive, loving experience, as well as a healthy relationship, and mental peace. So, whether you already have that ‘special person’ in your life, or you’ve yet to find love, these are the various stages of falling in love.
11 Stages In Love
1. The Starting Point
This is when you begin to take on a whole new meaning in your heart, mind, and life. At this stage, you somehow start to focus on him intently. Scientists call it salience. You realize, you always want to be with him, talk to him, go on dates with him; it’s almost like you can’t get the thought of him out of your head!
You just keep thinking of ways to win his heart and make him happy. At this stage, you’re probably falling in love with this person.
2. Pay Attention To Your Looks
Here, you experience the fluttery feeling of falling — you are in a hyper state of excited anxiety. You are very concerned with how he sees you, and you project yourself positively so that you can win him over.
You also pay attention to every detail; you find yourself trying to look good whenever you’re going on dates with him. You wear some more lipstick complemented by only the most flattering dresses in your wardrobe. All you just want to do is make an impression when he sees you and get compliments from him.
3. Overwhelmed Phase
At this point, you are so into one another and it shows. You start remembering how he dresses, smells, his smile, expressions. Everything about this person just excites and appeals to you. Conversations with him will replay in your head and you’ll always remember the compliments he made about your looks at this stage.
Love will have that effect on anybody. The constant thoughts of him could even give you sleepless nights, and this is perfectly fine.
The thoughts become stronger and intense, and the feeling seems obsessive; you can’t just get over him, but somehow, you don’t mind the feeling at all. The lust is overloaded at this stage, and you are concerned about how he sees you. At this point, you go through his social media pages; Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook to know what he is doing.
You just want to get all the information you can about him, his likes, dislikes, hobbies and the rest.
5. You Get Blown Away
Adrenaline can make your heart beat faster and create serotonin, which is the happiness chemical. That happens when you have racy thoughts about the guy you love. You can hear the birds singing, you see him in slow motion, your heart beats differently when he is around. He is always in your mind and sometimes in your dreams.
Your whole being is racing in excitement? You are falling in love, girl! You just want him to be all over you. He seems great, and to you, he can’t do any wrong. He is just perfect in your sight, and at this point, you’ll do anything to keep him.
6. Crystal Clear
Here, you get a clearer view of who he is and real-life challenges start to set in. His flaws, weaknesses, faults, and strengths are obvious. Although everything is more real to you, you could dismiss the reality by viewing it as part of his charms.
You could withdraw a bit from him when you see some attributes that you don’t like in your flourishing relationship with him. This can trigger instability, particularly if both of you are not very open and frank about what you are experiencing. You’re still falling in love with him, but there’s less of the raciness now, you’re loving with more caution and wisdom now.
At this stage, you gather and arrange the different little pieces and know if the person fits into your life and aligns with your purpose. You apply what you know about him to every aspect of your life, to check if you are compatible or not.
It is a stage of crucial evaluation where you are not so infatuated anymore. You ask yourself questions like, “do we have contradictory philosophies, or are our values consistent enough to keep us together?” or “Is this really the relationship that is right for me? This stage could be very heartbreaking especially when you realize you are not compatible, and you may have to let go at this point.
Now that you have a clearer picture of who he is, you are overwhelmed with the longing for more, for a commitment and relationship. Everything he does now has an emotional effect on you. Kind gestures seem like acts of love, while the tiniest thing becomes the ground for despair.
At this point, you spend more time together, get more intimate, drop your defensive barriers and talk about your past. You may also face situations where you are supporting each other through a tough time, such as a family or financial crisis, a health issue, or work issues.
You get jealous at every little thing. You have the motivation to win him over, and you start to guard him with jealousy. You try to get rid of every potential partner; you just want to have him all to yourself. This is perfectly normal but becomes toxic when you become overprotective.
At this stage, you get upset when he doesn’t reply to your texts on time, when he doesn’t call the whole day, or when he comes late to dates. You become scared of rejection and may also experience hypomania are nervous reactions like trembling, sweating, and awkwardness.
At this stage, there’s no pressure. You are not hyped to impress or show off. The pretense fades, and you start to be your real self, dressing the way you feel comfortable and the likes. You stop doing those extra things you used to get his attention before, you just want to be the real you around him now.
Even as the real vulnerable part of him is unveiled, here you are both bare with your flaws and strength. It’s left to you to decide if you can accept him regardless. You’d decide if you would be able to tolerate him and if you genuinely accept him for who he is. If he does the same, you can then have a golden relationship.
11. Stability And Comfort
This is the last stage I am going to talk about. When the time has passed and the infatuation has lessened, you become more comfortable with him. You have peace and relief in his arms; the major hormone that plays out here is oxytocin. That’s the hormone that gives the intimate and bonding feeling men and women get after an orgasm.
At this point, you feel like an open book and have less insecurities. Your feelings are less synonymous to a roller coaster ride, but that doesn’t take anything away from what you feel for this person. The feelings are just more stable now.
This question is still subjective because men and women falling in love is a different ball game. But it has been shown that men fall in love faster than women, it takes a man approximately 88days before saying I love you and it takes women double the time before uttering the ‘L’ word. That’s probably one surprising fact a lot of us didn’t know.
Every relationship goes through five stages of dating and these stages include;
Stage 1 Attraction
Stage 2 reality
Stage 3 intimacy
Stage 4 commitment
Stage 5 Engagement/marriage
While going through these stages, you get to understand him better and know if you are meant to be together or not.
There are various stages of love. These stages include attraction, romance, dating, disappointment, stability, and, finally, commitment. Going through these five stages of a relationship is crucial, you’ll learn if you and your partner are destined for a lifetime commitment or not.
He loses concentration whenever he is around you, he makes a special effort to make you smile, and always wants to be around you. He’ll also introduce you to his family and friends as ‘the one’, and spend quality time with you.
Yes, they do, the same way they fall in love faster than women, they also fall out of love easily. This happens when he feels he can’t be himself around you, he loses interest or the emotional intimacy gets lost.
I hope you enjoyed reading every part of this article? You need to know it is perfectly normal to go through these stages when falling in love. Do not feel you are on the wrong track. I felt the same way too when I fell in love. Please don’t forget to let me know what you think in the comment section and share this article if you loved it and found it helpful.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.