Situationships are tough spots, literally. It's when you can't seem to define the grey area between dating this person and just being friends with benefits. It's when you want to be with him, but then you can't. Probably because he's with someone else or too chicken to be with you (you could also be the chicken here).
A situationship is a friendship but not quite a relationship, it's also the ‘we want to be together but can't seem to say it’ kind of case. In general, many people are in situationships; they love spending time together, but that’s all there is to it. Are you in such a complicated relationship? Do you like a guy, and think he likes you too, but for some reason, both of you aren’t dating?
Well, if you’re still into good old-fashioned dating, and want to know if you’re in a situationship or not, you’re in the right place. It’s important to know the signs of a situationship because some people can easily turn a situationship into a booty call. The person would end up contacting you only when he wants to get some.
Lucky for you, I've had my (unfair) share of situationships, and I'm sharing fifteen ways to know you're in one below.
- 1 15 Ways To Know You’re In A Situationship
- 1.1 1. No Talks Of The Future
- 1.2 2. Dating Without A Title
- 1.3 3. No One Else In The Picture
- 1.4 4. No Pet Names
- 1.5 5. Spending A Lot Of Time Together
- 1.6 6. Conversations Are Sexual And Superficial
- 1.7 7. There's A Problem
- 1.8 8. There’s No Proof You’re In A Relationship
- 1.9 9. Sleepovers Aren't Awkward At All
- 1.10 10. You're Not Sure Of Your Feelings
- 1.11 11. Haven't Met His Friends And Family
- 1.12 12. He Hasn't Asked You Out
- 1.13 13. Passionate Casual Hookups
- 1.14 14. There’s No Talk About Feelings
- 1.15 15. Unspoken Commitment
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
15 Ways To Know You’re In A Situationship
1. No Talks Of The Future
In a situationship, there are no plans whatsoever about the future. For some reason, both of you are okay with not talking about what will happen next, whether it’s about the relationship or a date. It's more like going with the flow of things. There's so much uncertainty around this type of relationship that you both get stuck on the bridge between being with one another and not being together.
Also, if you make plans with this person, see them from time to time, but he can’t give you more, because what you have can’t really be defined, then you’re in a situationship. Here’s the thing, a lot of modern-day relationships aren’t so defined either. I’ve seen cases where a friend was dating someone but seeing more than one person, and her boyfriend was okay with that. If that’s the same with you, then it’s all good.
2. Dating Without A Title
When you and a guy are in a relationship, but neither of you has called it that, then it's a situationship. You're going on dates with him, spending a lot of time together, not seeing anyone else, and getting intimate sexually like you're dating.
The only problem is, he hasn't made it official by calling you his girlfriend; you can't say you are because you're afraid you'd be the only one. Probably you don't want to be the first to put it out there.
3. No One Else In The Picture
There's no other woman in the picture for him; both of you are single and exclusive with each other. It's like the phase before he realizes he wants to be with you. You want to say you’re friends with benefits, but to you, it’s more than that.
Don’t get stuck waiting for someone who’s just enjoying an undefined relationship. He may not be seeing anyone else, but if he’s serious with you, he’ll make things exclusive.
4. No Pet Names
Pet names, for some weird reason, seem to put a stamp on relationships. Have you noticed that he doesn’t call you ‘babe’ or any of those sweet names? That's because the situation isn't defined. In some cases, he doesn't mind calling you babe occasionally. However, it still doesn't translate to being his girlfriend. Just that you're a ‘babe,’ but not his babe.
5. Spending A Lot Of Time Together
If you spend a lot of time with a guy you’re not officially dating, texting him almost all the time, and whatnot, that's a situationship right there! Especially if part of you wants to be with him (as a girlfriend), but things aren't going in the direction you want it yet. You could be lucky and he likes you too; because sometimes, it's about the other partner not feeling the same way.
6. Conversations Are Sexual And Superficial
In a situationship, you don't know much about the other person apart from the necessary information he shares with you. For example, his likes, dislikes, taste in music, and others. You would probably know about his friends and family but not meet them.
Conversations would be mostly sexual because, to be honest, you're both either just physical or psychologically attracted to each other. It’s rarely ever more than that.
7. There's A Problem
You know it's a situationship when there's something or someone that’s stopping you from being with him. You may have spoken about your feelings to each other, and there's still nothing that can be done at the time. He’s either in an on and off relationship with someone else, doesn’t want to define the relationship, or insists both of you should just “see how it goes.”
8. There’s No Proof You’re In A Relationship
If there are no signs of you dating him anywhere, darling, it's a situationship. Nobody knows about both of you being exclusive with each other; he's not treating you like a girlfriend, no public dates; nothing at all that says you're with him, not even a picture together. This situationship is more on you than him; it's probably only a beneficial friendship in his head.
9. Sleepovers Aren't Awkward At All
It's not official or anything, yet, you feel comfortable hanging around for coffee after a hookup. You don't mind coming over to his house for movies, and the fun fact is, you don't do this with anyone else, just him.
You enjoy his company alone and find him funny and interesting as well. Part of you wants to be with him, but he hasn't made a move.
10. You're Not Sure Of Your Feelings
Sometimes, you get close to a guy beyond friendship, and halfway through, you're not sure what you want anymore or if he feels the same way you do. The moment you're stuck in this kind of dilemma, it becomes a situationship. It's safer to talk this through to avoid getting hurt or take a step back and see if he takes any step forward.
11. Haven't Met His Friends And Family
Relationships are made official when your man introduces you to his friends and family as his partner or lover. It's not necessary to meet them, but a public declaration that he's in a relationship counts. If you can't tell anyone else about your relationship with him without including a ‘but,’ something is unclear about the relationship.
12. He Hasn't Asked You Out
There's no need to explain this too much. I'm sure you already know about being asked into a relationship. I understand that things are more modern now, and guys don’t really ask girls out anymore. However, if you ask him about the relationship and he cannot give you a direct answer, this is one of those situations you should leave.
13. Passionate Casual Hookups
Even though both of you casually hook up with each other (sexually), things get so passionate and feisty that you begin to have feelings for him. He might not be meeting your emotional needs, but sexually, you’re over the moon. It's a reason people stay in a faux relationship; other times, they just don't want to be lonely.
14. There’s No Talk About Feelings
They're hardly any talks about feelings in a relationship like this, even though it sometimes involves strong feelings. Nobody wants to say anything about how they feel or what they wish for; both of you would rather go with the flow.
15. Unspoken Commitment
The primary factor in pseudo-relationships is the unspoken commitment you both have for one another. Neither of you sees anyone else, but you're not together, which makes it different from a friends-with-benefits situation.
Well, for starters, you won't be able to explain what you guys are. They would always be a ‘but’ right after the ‘we like each other, or he likes me.” Either both of you haven't talked about your feelings, or maybe you have, but it's not formal (he's not asked you to be his girlfriend). So, you don't want to assume.
Your situationship is solid if there are no plans for the future at all; either it's too early to plan, neither of you wants to jinx what you have going, or you don't see a future in it.
The fear of what lies ahead sometimes makes it easier to wait for the situationship to evolve. However, the heartbreak from a situationship is almost as bad as the one from a relationship, if not worse. You should know what you're getting into. Take steps to define the relationship, ask questions to be sure you're both on the same page. It's always better to find out now than later.
Situationships aren't necessarily a bad thing; It could be the start of something beautiful until it becomes toxic. In situationships, there are hardly any risks, or they could be but only on one side. When one of you is continuously putting a lot on the line, things need to be defined quickly, or it becomes unhealthy for that person. It's fun and like living on the edge, but it’s also just as dangerous.
To be honest, that's how most relationships start. Two people like each other, start spending a lot of time together, don't know what they want yet, but one-day decide they've cracked the code and want to be together. Yes! It can turn into a relationship; It is a thin line between a relationship and mere friendship with a little romance. If you’re in love and want to be together, maybe you would eventually. There's hope for some people in a situationship.
Well, it depends on that guy. However, they are guys who don't know how-to process strong feelings for a woman. He would rather stay away from you until there's a way to deal with it. Sometimes what this man needs is a little push in the right direction. You never know.
I am sure this article has helped you draw the line between a situationship and the real thing. I'm curious about your thoughts on the topic. Please write them in the comment section below and share this article with your friends. You never know what ‘situation’ they're in. (see what I did there?)
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.