The truth is that no marriage can be the proverbial bed of roses from day one, as all relationships come with their ups and downs. Hard times are a reality that every marriage will likely experience, and when couples are faced with marital difficulties, they tend to wonder if the “D” word is imminent, or if they can still salvage anything from their union.
No doubt, I get to entertain a lot of questions from couples whose marriages are about to hit the rocks. Some have come after a disagreement with their spouses to ask, “what’s your hunch? Do you think we should end it all? Is divorce inevitable for us? If you are in a similar predicament, keep reading to get a comprehensive list of the signs your marriage is over.
- 1 How To Know When A Marriage Is Over?
- 1.1 1. The care and attention is no longer there
- 1.2 2. His ideas and values begin to deviate from yours
- 1.3 3. He gets irritated by your habits
- 1.4 4. He can’t stand your presence at home
- 1.5 5. Respect is no longer there
- 1.6 6. Confrontations are avoided
- 1.7 7. His sexual interest in you is gone
- 1.8 8. He is with you but not really with you
- 1.9 9. He no longer dresses to impress
- 1.10 10. He is no longer preoccupied with your needs
- 1.11 11. He reluctantly responds to your messages
- 1.12 12. The distance keeps widening
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Things Up
How To Know When A Marriage Is Over?
1. The care and attention is no longer there
So, how do you know when your marriage is over? It is quite easy for a woman to know when the attention she receives from her spouse begins to wane. If your husband is the type that hugs and kisses you constantly and always shows concern in your affairs, but all of a sudden, begins to avoid you, something is terribly wrong.
For one, he will no longer show interest in going for walks or watching movies together. What’s more, talking to you becomes burdensome, which he will do only if he can’t help it; this is a sure warning sign that the marriage is no longer working.
With that being said, it’s also a good idea not to fall for that erroneous belief that if a man shows you lots of attention, he is more committed. Too much attention can sometimes be a distraction from something else he is doing wrong.
2. His ideas and values begin to deviate from yours
This next point is another one of the clearest signs your marriage is over, and it entails many factors like money, religion, parenting, and the likes. For any partnership or relationship to be viable, a common ground must exist in the way both of you view sex, finances, beliefs, and values.
In the absence of these, both you and your spouse will begin to feel like opponents instead of teammates. At this stage, it is only the willingness of both partners to continue trying to work things out that can save the relationship. If, in the end, both of you decide to hold fast to your dissenting views, divorce will naturally follow.
3. He gets irritated by your habits
Have your usual habits suddenly become annoying, even though he was formerly comfortable with them? If so, this is a sure sign your relationship will soon hit the rocks. Make no mistake; the annoyance can even extend to trivial things like how you dress, how you eat, or your penchant for changing the TV channel.
Once started, this trend is likely to increase over time until it gets to the point of no return, at which he will begin to notice your shortcomings in virtually everything. On top of this, he might also carelessly comment on your looks without considering your feelings; no doubt, his insolence, and selfishness will likely give rise to conflicts.
Clearly, when a person begins to behave in this manner, it’s obvious they are no longer afraid to lose their spouse and has likely resigned to divorce.
4. He can’t stand your presence at home
If you’re asking yourself ‘Is my marriage over?’ because your spouse can no longer stand being in the same house with you, it’s clear something is not right. As any marriage counselor will tell you, spending quality time with one another is important in every relationship. And once you begin to perceive the warning signs that he just can’t wait to leave the room when you are there, it’s time to put on your radar gear; there is obviously something he is not telling you.
In fact, don’t hold back – go ahead and observe his behavior, especially his body language, which speaks volumes according to research. Your best bet here is to draw him out in dialogue, let him spit it all out, and tell you what is irking; so you can try to proffer solutions before the small rift turns into a gully.
5. Respect is no longer there
If the respect you previously enjoyed ceases, this is another one of the signs your marriage is about to hit the rocks. You will begin to notice signs that you are no longer important; neither does he value you.
What’s more, his previous desire to hold consultations with you will disappear, and the chances of making decisions together will be lost. Clearly, his mind is already made up about filing a divorce in this case, and he is just waiting for the right opportunity to end the marriage.
6. Confrontations are avoided
The signs your marriage is over, extend to maintaining silence with one another. If he avoids all kinds of confrontation, it’s very likely he no longer cares which direction the relationship takes. At this stage, it is already at the cliff’s edge, and there will be that reluctance to make an effort to tackle any awkward conversations.
On top of this, he will make all kinds of excuses to avoid long overdue nagging issues that require a resolution. Most likely, he feels that no amount of talking is worth it.
7. His sexual interest in you is gone
Sex is one of the major ways couples show deep intimate interest and love with one another. If your spouse is making every possible effort to avoid sex, and your formerly active sex life seems to be diminishing, then divorce is looming. He will likely involve resort to ridiculous pretexts when you want to have sex.
In fact, he has completely lost interest in the relationship but does not know how to breach the subject. Emotionally, he has already distanced himself from you; thus, your touch will only cause rejections.
8. He is with you but not really with you
This next sign is initially perceived as a gut feeling, but with time, it will begin to register that your spouse’s mind is not with you even though he is physically present. If you perceive that both of you are not able to engage actively, the signs your marriage is over is staring you in the face. In fact, you are better off alone and engaging in your own activities when a lack of connection and detachment becomes evident in a relationship.
9. He no longer dresses to impress
No doubt, as women, our appearance naturally concerns us but the common belief that men don’t take their grooming habits as seriously as women, is not always the case for every man. If you observe that your spouse is less concerned about his looks and doesn’t make an effort when out on a date with you, it’s likely he has lost interest altogether.
He might also appear indifferent to everything you say or do; that former desire to make one form of impact or another in the marriage may well disappear. He just lives a life of resignation and takes a day as he sees it: no extra effort, no extra mile, no need to try.
10. He is no longer preoccupied with your needs
When spouses put their partner’s needs first, it often shows that there is mutual love in a relationship. And since both parties are assigned the role of being a caretaker for the other person’s needs, they tend to lose a portion of their own identity – a sense of their personal needs.
No doubt, prioritizing the needs of each other shows the loving respect is still there. However, if you observe that your spouse is no longer preoccupied with easing your own burdens, and is looking for a way out to ‘find himself again’. it might be a sign the marriage you have is about to end, and divorce is the only way out.
11. He reluctantly responds to your messages
Avoiding your messages is one clear pointer that shows your spouse is no longer interested. If a simple message from you feels like a burden or a straightforward question like “how was your day” irritates him, it’s clear he is on his way out.
On his part, he will show a lack of initiative to respond to messages or call you; it is only when he can’t handle a situation or when something extraordinary occurs that you hear from him. What’s more, he will see nothing wrong in openly flirting with other women and comparing them with you. This is one sure sign your marriage is over.
12. The distance keeps widening
A common marital problem will mend with time, but a loveless marriage will continue to worsen as time passes by. When rough times exceed a couple of years without any sign of relief, married partners should seek professional help.
I also recommend that it should be done sooner than later to avoid a situation where you try getting help when you are already past the point of no return. At this point, love is dead, and there are no chances that it may resurge; thus, the marriage is entirely unsalvageable.
You will know when your relationship is over by certain tale-tale signs they have fallen out of love; which will begin to surface like the avoidance of some topics, jettisoning of intimacy, and no compromising. Others include increased arguments or lack of it, lack of remorse for you or your spouse’s wrongdoings, feeling comfortable with life without your partner, and many more.
It is pretty straightforward to tell when men are not happy in their marriage. You may hear them discourage single men from getting married shout at their spouse in public, engage in excessive complaints, or pick up new addictions. Besides, the sight of happy couples seems to upset them, and they cook-up excuses to be absent from home and have had already started envisioning life without the spouse.
Many couples no longer enter into marriage contracts blindly; some even sign a pre-nuptial agreement to set the tone or lookout for signs like domestic violence, infidelity, or differences in family needs like having kids.
In fact, the reasons why some people choose to stick through the marriage may be shaky; it may be to avoid some certain pain. This only means that the relationship lacks sufficient glue to stay together
Married couples don’t just end a relationship simply because they feel like their marriage is over; they must have noticed some signs that the time has come to walk away.
Such signs include; if you have stopped adoring and started tolerating, if your happiness has to be compromised for your marriage, if sex becomes a chore, and if you smile less and cry more. When all these signs are evident, it’s time to move on.
You might be heading for divorce when you are always unhappy, and most of the interactions between you and hubby are negative. Also, if you feel like avoiding your spouse, or feel like you are more like roommates, and your instincts keep telling you to quit the marriage. Besides, one of you may suddenly change, and everything will become rock hard.
To Sum Things Up
I hope you enjoyed reading this list, but it would benefit you more when you apply these tips I have marshaled out. However, even when they fit your relationship and it appears as if all hope is about to be lost, you can still salvage your marriage by turning a new leaf and being a better person for your spouse to emulate.
Don’t hesitate to drop your comment when you are done reading, and remember to share this article with someone else whose relationship is on the rocks.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.