When you are in a relationship, it’s your most vulnerable moment. You spend months sharing secrets. Some days you’re on top of the world. On other days, not so much. Yet, you and your partner seem to make it through thick and thin. Then, the break up happens. One of you has put long moments into reflecting on the relationship and decided a split was better.
- 1 How Do I Know If My Breakup Is Final
- 1.1 1. It’s a relief that it’s over
- 1.2 2. It was a long-distance
- 1.3 3. You can’t see a future with them
- 1.4 4. One of you is already dating
- 1.5 5. You feel better when you’re apart
- 1.6 6. Different values make it less likely you’ll get back together
- 1.7 7. Different life goals
- 1.8 8. The relationship was very short
- 1.9 9. There are no more disagreements
- 1.10 10. You’re emotionally healed quickly after the breakup
- 1.11 11. Your support system doesn’t support the reunion
- 1.12 12. The relationship was toxic
- 1.13 13. No contact is easy
- 1.14 14. Did you agree to a temporary breakup?
- 1.15 15. The sex was gone
- 1.16 16. Irreparable damage
- 1.17 17. Your self worth skyrockets
- 1.18 18. There’s nothing left to give
- 1.19 19. Safety reasons
- 1.20 20. You’ve given up on making it work
- 1.21 21. Professional advice was to breakup
- 2 FAQs
- 3 How Do I Know If My Breakup Is Final? – Conclusion
How Do I Know If My Breakup Is Final
Personally, I’ve had three long term relationships as an adult, and all ended in a breakup. Most of them were messy. Most of them were also well thought out. However, there was one that was not permanent, and two others that were. Looking at the differences, I realized there are certain ways to tell whether you’re done for good, or not.
The research confirmed this. If you want to know whether you have a chance at getting back together or even should, watch for these 21 signs.
1. It’s a relief that it’s over
Maybe you justified the problematic days by thinking of the good days. Perhaps your ex was more weight than you could bear. Either way, if you feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders, it’s a sign that you won’t be seeking another chance.
2. It was a long-distance
When you’re trying to stay connected although one of you is hundreds of miles away, you can already feel a disconnect before the breakup. This is why this is one of the signs that your breakup is more likely permanent.
3. You can’t see a future with them
Sometimes, long term relationships are more for “here and now.” In these situations, it’s common to fall in love quickly and stay together. However, if you can’t see a long-term future with them, it’s a sign that there probably isn’t one. This is another way that you can determine how to know when to break up.
4. One of you is already dating
If either one of you has already found another person, and it is actually going somewhere, it’s one of the biggest signs that the breakup is permanent. Even if you’re not the one that moved on, there’s a chance that your ex might not come back.
5. You feel better when you’re apart
This is one of the ways that people can tell when to break up, too. If you find that you’re full of life and happy when your partner isn’t around or when you’re with someone else, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t working out. If this feeling persists after you two split, there’s only a slim chance that you’ll find your way back to one another.
6. Different values make it less likely you’ll get back together
When you’re in the midst of a whirlwind of emotions because you’re in love, things like values seem less important. However, they will matter in a long term relationship. If you and your ex had very different religions or beliefs, it might be best that you separated. There’s also less of a chance of you two getting back together.
7. Different life goals
You wanted a big family with at least three children. He hates children and wants to spend his time, and money, traveling. You believe in marriage, but he feels it’s a waste of money and refuses to even consider the notion.
Different life goals, especially those considering finances, morals, family, career, education, and other things that are particularly important to one person can be the reason behind a breakup. They can also be the reason that the two of you do not try again.
8. The relationship was very short
If the relationship was very short, you’re not as emotionally invested in it as you would be if it had lasted for three years. Generally, the longer a relationship, the longer it takes to get over the break-up. Longer ones also have a better chance of being temporary.
9. There are no more disagreements
It might seem like you’re getting along better, but that isn’t usually the case. Instead, there are no more disagreements because one person has already given up on the relationship. They don’t care enough to express their emotions or give healthy communication a shot. If this is the situation, it’s time to get on with your life.
10. You’re emotionally healed quickly after the breakup
This typically happens when you’re no longer emotionally invested in the relationship when you’re together. Sometimes, you’re over a person long before you call it quits. In these situations, you’ve already tried everything you can think of. Arguments persist. Communication is non-existent. More than anything, you’re emotionally exhausted. This can lead to quick healing after it’s over.
11. Your support system doesn’t support the reunion
If your friends, family, and main support system were never a fan of you two in the first place, and are even less supportive of you getting together, that’s a sign. When everyone is against something, it’s a sign to us that there might be more to the picture than we’re willing to see. Then, we’re less likely to pursue it.
12. The relationship was toxic
Once you realize that the relationship was toxic, it can be hard to really want to get back together. The positive things you once saw seem to fade to the background while the toxic traits of your ex stand out in your mind. If you look back on your ex and are instantly bombarded by thoughts of how bad they were for you or your children, life is probably better without them.
13. No contact is easy
Most of us follow the no contact rule after a break-up. How easy that is will help you determine whether it’s temporary or permanent. If you both have no problem never speaking to one another, it’s permanent. If not, you probably were just taking a break.
14. Did you agree to a temporary breakup?
One of the easiest ways to tell if a breakup will be temporary is when two people agree to take a break. In this situation, both parties agree to whether they can date other people, things about social media, and take the time to work on their own issues. Usually, these are temporary.
15. The sex was gone
Often, problems in relationships spill over into other areas of the relationship. When communication is not right in a relationship, everything else seems to go downhill. One of the key signs that your relationship is officially over is when the lovemaking is gone. If it was like this before the breakup, it’s more likely to be permanent.
16. Irreparable damage
If the other person has done something so horrible it seems unforgivable, it can mean it’s for good. This is different for everyone. Some might consider invading privacy, such as going through their Facebook, a major offense.
Others might consider seeing other women that strong of an offense. Regardless of what happened, if you can’t seem to forgive the other person, there’s little hope for making up.
17. Your self worth skyrockets
We don’t always realize what a toxic relationship does to our health, including our emotional health. Then, when we break up with someone, we start to see what was wrong with the relationship.
We can also see how it affected us as a person. If your self-esteem gets better, you’re happier and you have a healthy amount of self-worth after you call it quits, you broke up with him for the right reasons. You’re also less likely to try to make things work.
18. There’s nothing left to give
You feel like you already gave everything you had. At some point, you wound up emotionally exhausted, and feel like you don’t have anything else to put into it anymore. If you’re already this drained, you’re less likely to want to be together again after breaking up. Instead, use your newfound freedom to recover, and recuperate.
19. Safety reasons
If your partner was abusive, that doesn’t mean that you are not going to get back together. However, it means that you shouldn’t. Abusive men need to seek help and change on their own. You don’t have to be a part of their life while they do that. Don’t try to get help from your ex. Instead, work on moving forward. Think about your own well being. Living in fear is not living.
20. You’ve given up on making it work
If you had already given up before the breakup, it’s one of the biggest signs that your breakup is permanent. If two people gave up, it’s even more likely the breakup is not temporary. During a relationship, some people try and they try. They go to counseling. Couples try to learn communication skills. Then, for whatever reason, the relationship still doesn’t work out well.
21. Professional advice was to breakup
If you sought counseling to help your relationship, and the advice was to end it, that’s how to know when to walk away for good. Most relationship experts will not dole out this advice until they cannot come up with another solution, or they do not see both parties changing. If this happened, maybe you shouldn’t be together. Ever.
If you feel in your heart that your breakup was final, it probably was. When it’s over, one of you will move on emotionally quickly. That same person won’t text back as fast, if at all. One of you will more than likely be blocked on social media, too.
Within three months. If you’re over the relationship before the breakup, you already know that it’s really over. If not, you’ll know when you see them with someone else, they don’t text back or block you. The more distance there is between the two of you, the more likely it is over for real.
It’s time to break up when the relationship is not fixable. Another sign that it’s time to call it quits is when you spend more time trying to get your needs met than actually getting your needs met. If there is abuse or signs of a toxic relationship, you definitely need to walk away.
If the breakup is temporary, it can last for 1-3 months. Permanent breakups last forever, but how long it lasts and how long it takes to move on are two different things. Long term, committed relationships typically take 3-6 months to recover from.
The seven stages of a breakup are: 1) shock 2) denial 3) anger/bargaining 4) depression (sometimes instead of depression this stage might feel more emotional and be marked with periods of sadness, anger, hope, etc.) 5) acceptance 6)letting go and 7)moving on.
How Do I Know If My Breakup Is Final? – Conclusion
If you or the other person is completely over the relationship and done trying to work things out, it’s final. There are always signs that tell you when it’s permanent. How do you know when it’s really over, especially if you’ve broken up repeatedly?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.