Signs You Are Unofficially Dating (21 Clear Signs)

One of the toughest situations you will ever experience is when you're crushing on someone and have no idea whether or not you have the future of a real relationship with them. You might be together in the same friend group, with the two of you being closer than all the others. 

You might have spoken briefly about plans, with little jokes that hinted at these futures having both of you together. You both might be relating to each other as lovers, yet he hasn't verbally professed his feelings for you or even asked you into a dating relationship. 

If this is you, you might be wondering, are we unofficially dating? What's our relationship status? 

All these questions are valid. Thus, we've come up with an in-depth article to help put your mind at rest. In this article, we look at the many signs that may indicate whether your current relationship is a committed relationship or not. If you want to know if someone is dating you in their mind, these are the signs you can look out for. 

21 Signs You Are Unofficially Dating

1. You're always together

Take a close look at how much time you spend with this guy, and it might help you figure out whether you are unofficially dating or not. In such scenarios, you guys might hang out almost all the time and for extra long periods. He might be the first person you see in the morning, and you're at his place till late at night. Even then, you're almost always on the phone up until dawn, when the entire cycle starts again. 

When people are dating, they are known to spend an insane amount of time together, and it isn't considered weird because, well, they're exclusive. Spending time with someone shows that you're interested in them for the long term, and you're not distracted by other people around you. The amount of time you spend together is a clear sign of whether or not there's something more to your friendship. 

2. You talk about plans

Future jobs, marriage, family plan, you've spoken about all these, and more. If these things form a part of your conversations with him, there's a high chance that you're in a pseudo-relationship, and you don't even know it. 

When people are dating, you can tell by paying attention to the kinds of conversations they regularly have. If they're always talking about their future together, it is a clear sign that there's a mutual interest. So watch your chats. Do you always talk about going to events in the coming weeks together, or do you discuss trips with your families? This might mean you love each other's company and want something more. 

3. His friends are yours, and your friends are his

If you've never met members from his crew, you might not want to jump the gun and assume just yet. On the other hand, if you've both met each other's friends, it could mean a lot about where your relationship is headed. People in a relationship are always introducing their loved ones to their friends. They love to show you off to people they know because they love everything about you and are proud of you. 

If he avoids the topic of meeting his friends or always makes excuses when you want him to say hi to yours, it's a sign you both might not be at that phase just yet. 

4. You're open with each other

And you open up to each other. Relationships get stronger when you share a part of yourself with the other person. In a real relationship, you open up to know your partner better and increase your connection to a deeper level. This form of emotional investment is common in all relationships; thus, if you find that you and your friend tend to do this, it is safe to conclude that you're dating unofficially. 

If your partner or crush is highly secretive and you barely know a thing about them, you're both not dating. The person is emotionally unavailable to you and has built a strong barrier between you both. 

5. You've spoken about it

Maybe you've sat down with him and had a conversation. As we say, you've DTR'd or defined the relationship. This is one of the clearest ways to determine whether you're dating. If you're tired of playing the guessing game, talking is your best bet. Ask him if you've been dating unofficially. Mention all the signs you've noticed, and let him know what you'd like to have with him moving forward. 

Engaging in a physical communication session goes a long way to help prevent future heartbreak when it turns out you were reading all the signs wrong. Make use of your words every chance you get. 

6. You don't go on dates

So, you don't talk about the future, and you don't go on dates? No? that's bad news, honey. One way to tell if you're unofficially dating or in a situationship is when you tend to spend a lot of time out with this person, but these outings are never considered official dates. 

There are no fancy dinners, surprise flowers with notes, nothing romantic to show that he's making an effort at showing his love for you.

Suppose all you ask how you are and how to work is over your typical Netflix and Chill moments. In that case, you might want to discontinue considering him family or relationship material.

7. He's inconsistent

You might have a boyfriend, but not a lover. Yes, there's a great difference between these two words, no matter how easily we interchange them nowadays. A boyfriend is someone you can rely on at all times. A lover might be another title for someone you are unofficially dating. 

As a lover, he might not be consistent in his efforts to show your love and care. That means you hardly have conversations about the present or future, you're always asked out on last-minute dates, and you're always waiting for him to call. 

8. You're always stating how single you are

you're always stating how single you are

Whenever friends and family ask you if you have a boyfriend, you're always quick to shout single. They all look at you stunned by your response, and in a bid to prove you wrong, ask about the guy they've been seeing you spend all your time with. 

Take a hint, honey; this is a sign you can't pass up. If you constantly have to get people to believe you are single and have nothing to do with that special guy in your life, you might be in a relationship without knowing. 

9. You are always anxious

Do you know the kind of anxiety you occasionally experience while in a committed relationship? 

You can experience something of that caliber while in a situationship. You might find yourself always worrying about your partner or crush, where they are, and what they might be doing with whom. You might have little to no trust in them or have a deeper fear of being abandoned that these feelings express themselves in the form of anxiety. It is a huge wake-up call if you've ever felt this way about someone.

10. He has great hero instincts

Does he always rise to the occasion of being your hero? Well, maybe it's because you're both in a relationship that is yet to be defined. Naturally, men love to play the hero in the lives of the women they love. They want to be able to show the world that they can protect and provide for you, far beyond the dinners and family gatherings.

When a man is in a situationship, he finds it hard to rise to the occasion, and this is because he's not fully committed to you

11. You've met his family

If your man is someone with virtue and he's brought you home to meet his family, you shouldn't be confused anymore about where you stand. He's in love with you, and he's serious about you

He might introduce you as his friend or a special someone in his life, and you should be comfortable with that because, after all, he's yet to officially talk about it and ask you out. It could even be because, in his home, the terms boyfriend and girlfriend aren't welcome wholeheartedly, given the age you're at. Never mind, though, introducing you to his family is a good sign that you're on the way to a great future.

12. You feel each other's pain

Another way to know whether the connection you're feeling is mutual is when you can connect with him on a deeper level, so much so that you can even feel his pain. This is the Eros kind of love, a very deep love that causes you to risk valuable items in your love for the other person. If you're dating someone and it's not yet official, it is very easy to feel this way. It means you both have a genuine love for each other, and you're well on your way to a steady relationship. 

13. You both get jealous

And this is always the cutest thing! One way to know if you're dating someone unofficially or if someone loves you is by studying their reaction when you talk with the opposite gender. 

Does he show some discomfort when you're in the midst of other men? When you see him with loads of ladies thronging his side, do you get uncomfortable? 

If you notice any of these signs, don't look past them because they signify something deeper than mere friendship. Have a conversation about your observation, discuss all the different points, and hear what he says about them. You might be pleasantly surprised. 

14. You don't find others attractive

This point is purely magical, as no amount of science has been able to back it up. When you're in love with someone and find everything about them suits your heart, there is a large inability to find anyone else attractive. Or at least as attractive as they are. It makes you wonder…

Girl, if you don't find anyone else attractive except him, chances are you're deeply in love and have been for a while. You have separated yourself from that person, unknowingly, which is why you might not notice when someone else is trying to make a move at you. 

15. You're both open about private things

There's only so much we let our friends in regarding our privacy. We share, but not that much because, in hindsight, some things don't need to be told to just anyone. But with him, things are different. You're both ever so willing to talk about the personal parts of your lives to each other. 

Whether it is your income, gaining access to your homes, or telling him the secret you've kept since you were fourteen. You don't see the need to hold back information during the conversation, and that's because you're dating someone you love in your mind and heart. 

16. You don't love them

you don't love them

This gray area of dating can be very tricky. In some cases, you're deeply in love such that when you hear his name, your heart drops a beat. In some cases, you might like the idea of him, but the word love is far from your mind. 

You feel comfortable in his presence, and he excites you in many ways, but not enough to enter into a full and real union. 

Maybe that's why you don't push for something more than you have. If you're dating someone and it hasn't been made official yet, you might not be as in love with each other as you would think.

17. You prioritize each other

This is a sign of good things to come. Putting the needs of others before yours is a very common practice when someone cares about and values you greatly. Getting this from a woman means there's a high probability of her having romantic feelings toward you. If you're both going out of each other's way to make the other feel heard, understood, and loved, you might want to take a second look at your relationship.

18. You complement each other

And this is not just your regular bunch of compliments. These words are laced with the deepest affection there is. A single one of such is filled with the loveliest words, accompanied by the most air-restricting smile you've ever seen. That's the power of love. After hearing a couple of these, no other compliments sound sweeter. This is because you know that his compliments are coming straight from his heart.

19. He gets you gifts

As you do him, and it's simply the cutest thing! Gift-giving is a very popular way of showing affection in recent times. Gifting someone is a very normal thing to do, even as friends, but what makes it seem like an unofficial relationship is when it is done frequently, randomly, and without cost. Now that's a sign you don't have to wander too much about.

20. You tolerate each other

If he can tolerate all your female shenanigans, chances are he's deeply in love with you. Women can get very dramatic at times, so in some cases, we tend to overstep our boundaries and even play the blame game while we know we're at fault. This will prove too much for someone who isn't interested in you. 

However, if he loves you, he's able to tolerate you no matter what you do. He understands when your actions cry for attention when you need some space, and this is all because he's in love with you.

21. He pushes you to reach your goals

Many men believe that a real woman has goals, and an even better woman is one prepared to actualize those goals. If he's always finding ways to help you become the woman you're meant to be, chances are you might be in the dating pool unofficially. He's always listening to your goals, helping you improve upon them and bring them to fruition; that's real love. Suppose you tend to do the same for him, even better. It means you're both in sync with your feelings, and that's a beautiful thing!


How do you know if you are unofficially dating?

Unofficial dating can be confusing and yet very adorable. One of the biggest signs that you're in such a pseudo-relationship is when you're both each other's go-to person. This means that you're always updating them first about what happened in your day, and they're the first people you go to when you have an issue that needs fixing.

Maybe it's because he thinks you're the only one who can fix his problems, or maybe you find it easier engaging him in your day-to-day happenings. No matter what, this amount of mutual faith in each other can be a clear sign that you're dating, just not officially. 

Are we hanging out or dating?

Dating comes in many varying forms, but at the core of all these forms is that both parties involved have the other person deep at heart. With this in mind, you need to study what you and your crush have to determine whether it falls under romantic relationships or casual dating. Hanging out is a more casual form of dating, where you're both attracted to each other, but you don't see a foreseeable future with them. A dating relationship is one in which you both decide to be together as lovers, and you can see yourselves being together for an extended period. 

What is a Situationship relationship?

Modern times have introduced many terms that come with wonderful meanings. The situationship is one of such terms. This kind of relationship is an alias of unofficial dating. With this, you find yourself in a romantic relationship that hasn't been properly defined. It differs greatly from a friendship where you know you're both purely platonic and also differs from a relationship where you're committed to each other.

In a situationship, the term so your relationship is almost always not defined, just like the end goal of the relationship. This kind of relationship can be confusing and annoying, especially when you develop deeper feelings for your partner. 

Is it dating or a relationship?

One might think there's no difference between a relationship and dating. Guess what? We're here to break both down for you. Contrary to popular belief, these two words don't mean the same thing. During the dating phase, you're not exclusive to the other person. This means you get to date more than one individual, study them and decide whether or not you see yourself in a relationship with them.

A relationship is one in which you and your partner have agreed officially or even unofficially to be exclusive to one another, promising to stay in partnership together. Mutual commitment is what differentiates dating from a real relationship. 

What qualifies as a date?

Whether you're dating unofficially or not, one thing you're bound to do is go on dates. If you're new to the dating apps and relationship scene, you might wonder what exactly constitutes a date. A typical date is any hangout that is one-on-one and has been planned by both of you. It might be planned by you and your friends or a special friend, for romantic purposes. 

In many scenarios, people refer to dates with their friends as hangouts, while those with specific individuals to be in a relationship are termed dates.

In Conclusion

Most of the drama we experience in our relationships is because we don't know how to communicate. We can save ourselves a lot of stress and heartbreak if we only use our words. If you want to know what's going on between you and your crush, you need to talk to him. Find out if he also thinks you're both unofficially dating and find out if he wants a relationship with you. This beats wasting your time with someone, only for them to go in for someone else.

If you enjoyed this conversation, we would love to share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, be sure to let your friends in on these tips; you never know who will need a clear sign any time soon. 

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