Do you know the signs of unspoken mutual attraction?
Do you feel like it would be useful to know them? I suggest that it would…
After all, that guy who you have a secret crush on, there’s a good change he’s hiding feelings for you too.
Especially in this modern era when it seems men are more scared than ever to make the first move!
In this guide, I’m going to reveal 9 key signs of unspoken mutual attraction. When you spot them, I hope it gives you the bravery to ramp up the flirting until he gets the hint and asks you out.
Let’s begin with an important story that is likely to help this secret crush develop into a full-blown relationship.
This story revolves around a little-known aspect of the male psyche, called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
I began reading about this, after an embarrassing run of short-term flings breaking up with me.
I wanted them to be more than short-term lovers, but they’d run away before the relationship could develop, so I was desperate to know what I was doing wrong.
By studying the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ in depth, I got a lot more than I bargained for.
When activated, this primal trigger can release powerful feelings of joy, power and purpose within a man. These are the feelings that men are desperate to feel in relationships – and they are tremendously ADDICTIVE.
By learning how to release these emotions in a man’s mind at will, I became addictive! It’ll be impossible for these feelings to remain unspoken for too long.
You can learn more by reading my personal log about discovering the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
Once you’ve done that, scroll down and read my additional thoughts on dealing with unspoken relationships.
- 1 Is It A Mutual Attraction?
- 2 What Is An Unspoken Attraction?
- 3 How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
- 4 What Is An Unspoken Relationship?
- 5 To Sum Things Up
Is It A Mutual Attraction?
These days, no one wants to be the first person to ‘cough it up’ when it comes to feelings. All the signs of unspoken attraction may be there, but who can really tell if someone is attracted to you when the words aren’t said? No doubt, it's a whole different ball game when two people decide to be together, but with all the uncertainty floating around everyone needs to be educated on how to suss out any signs of unspoken attraction.
So, if you’re like a handful of people I know, and it's a bit hard to really know if that special person feels the same way, you’ll be glad to know there’s a way around it. It's good to go for it, but have some basis to go on.
Now, before you put on your ‘brave pants’, let’s first begin by trying to make sense of what exactly is unspoken attraction, before I will point out a handful of signs of unspoken attraction between two people.
What Is An Unspoken Attraction?
In a nutshell, human beings are not the most straightforward species on the face of the earth. If a lion wants to eat a warthog, he goes hunting and kills himself a warthog. If one person wants to date another, they beat about the bush and drop hints until someone finally makes a move.
When it comes to dating, there’s a bunch of signs of unspoken attraction that point toward there being feelings between two people. Yes, it is as dramatic as it sounds, but it's a tune everyone dances to – with very few people mastering the moves. All in all, here are some signs that will let you know if you’re entangled in the ‘dance’.
One of the main signs of strong physical attraction that will pop up when there’s an unspoken mutual attraction between two people is a whole lot of teasing. It's not that actual child’s play that shows up on playgrounds and in high-school movies, but something deeper. After all, when done right, teasing is a special form of flirting and can even be classified as art.
So, why is it such an intimate action? The truth is you cannot just walk up to people and tease them; there has to be a connection there already. Even more, that connection has to be a deep and comfortable one for this kind of teasing to make you laugh. All in all, when you like someone, teasing and poking at them from time to time shows that you’re at ease with each other.
It's also a major sign that there’s something ‘not-so-platonic’ about your relationship. So, if you find that the two of you are often far gone in a teasing match, or simply enjoy making fun of each other now and then, there is a whole lot of unspoken attraction hovering about. Don’t wait for a fortune teller to drop this revelation on you, or someone to point this out to you. Act on it once you notice all the teasing.
2. Trying to impress each other
Even I have to admit that when I like someone, I generally step up my game. My hair, my clothes, my hygiene and even the way I speak – all in a bid to impress the other person. However, trying to impress does not mean that you’re not already good enough – it’s just one of those signs of unspoken attraction that points to the fact that you want this other person to like you more. So, do not be mistaken, if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then do not even go down that road.
Back to the matter at hand, if you notice that special person starts to peacock around you a bit more, that’s a major sign that attraction is in the air. Yes, it may sound a little self-absorbed or vain, but at this point, it really has nothing to do with ‘self’. You simply want to appear more enthralling and attractive, so a little more lipstick here and a spritz of perfume there won’t really hurt anyone.
Even better, it makes them excited to show you off, because you're not just trying to impress them but everyone in their life as well. Besides, once two people like each other, trying to impress the other person is, without a doubt, one of the biggest signs of unspoken attraction.
3. Physical touch
If there is anything you can count on when it comes to signs of unspoken attraction, it is all-around body language. Further, going even deeper than that is physical touch; so, if all of a sudden you cannot keep your hands to yourselves, there is something in the air. No doubt, touching is the ultimate body language sign that someone is deeply attracted to you.
And I don’t mean a sexually obsessed kind of touching (although, it's not completely off the table). Rather, a subtle and unconscious friendly touch will do. This kind of touching is not coming from a sexual place, nevertheless, it feels quite natural. For instance, during a conversation or while watching a movie, you are constantly brushing up against their arms or knees in the most subtle way possible.
If that happens, then Mount Vesuvius is about to erupt and there’s definitely an attraction between two of you. Even more, it's not something you can particularly control, it just happens on its own accord. All in all, if all else fails, body language will reveal it all to you.
So, there you have it, these are all serious signs of unspoken mutual attraction and there's really no mistaking them for anything else.
How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
So, we have touched on the topic of how to observe the signs of unspoken attraction between two people, however, how can we actually tell if that person is into you, to begin with? Especially when you are not quite sure if they are even on the same page.
You have to agree that it's getting quite hard to want the same thing these days. While one party may be in, the other may be out and vice versa. Hence why you have to pay attention here, as I am going to give you sure indicators that there’s a mutual attraction brewing.
Whether it's an unspoken attraction between two people, or you’ve defined it but are not quite sure the sparks are there, here are some signs with which you can’t go wrong. All in all, if you’re attracted to someone and want to know if they are on the same page, here are a few signs to pay attention to.
1. They remember random details about you.
It's always a beautiful feeling when we two people in a relationship take time out to know one another. It’s even more beautiful when someone actually remembers something you told them. Make no mistake, when a man likes you, he will actually ‘listen' not just ‘hear’ your words. Remembering all those little details you mentioned, like how you like your coffee with milk or where you went to high school, is one of the powerful signs of male attraction.
Likewise, as women, when we like someone, we also take notes and remember all those tiny details – even about their past love life. However, for us, it’s a bit more unconscious. Men, on the hand, are less committed and often don’t remember as much as women, so when they do take time out to note all the little details, it’s a clear sign that they like you or are trying to impress you.
In fact, when someone is into you, they ask a good number of questions that’ll help them know more about you. And the fact that they remember your answers or bring them up in later conversations is a major sign of mutual attraction.
2. They reciprocate.
If they don’t make you feel the same way about them or aren't as excited to do things together, sadly, it could mean that they are just not that into you. So, it's vital to look out for reciprocity when gauging if a person is attracted to you. Pay attention to this or it may end up biting you in the behind.
Generally speaking, humans often keep the same energy as the person they like. They'd call you just as much, want to have dinner too, and are generally as excited about doing things together. However, if you're the only one initiating things, there's a problem. You see, if you both like each other, you should meet each other halfway. So, if you find yourself doing all the chasing, there's a chance you're alone in your feelings too.
More so, it’s not an unspoken attraction if there are no actions to back it up. So, watch out for conversations you have with each other; does it feel like you're the only one talking all the time? Do they have the same enthusiasm, or does it feel forced? If the answers to the above questions are yes, then I'm afraid this isn't mutual attraction. Anyone who likes you too would genuinely enjoy your company, and it would be quite apparent to you that they do.
3. Eye contact attraction is off the charts.
Eye contact is another sure way to know if there’s mutual attraction between two people. In fact, eye contact for prolonged periods of time is a major sign of mutual attraction. You see, people as a whole, are quite touchy when it comes to eye contact. So, if you are not a big fan of the person dishing it out, it can come off as creepy. But once there’s that spark between you, prolonged eye contact will feel more comfortable and practically natural.
Some people will even go as far as to say that it's addictive. They just want to stare into their lover’s longer than usual. It just goes a long way to show how comfortable you are with the other person and that, my dear, is a sure sign of mutual attraction. This, coupled with general body language is sure to point you in the right direction.
The crazy thing is that this could go the other way too; finding it hard to look in someone’s eyes could simply mean there are some feelings in there. Yes, we humans are complicated beings but would you have it any other way?
What Is An Unspoken Relationship?
So, here’s the thing; you could literally wake up one morning only to realize that you’ve been in a relationship for the past three months with someone; maybe the guy you have been getting close is suddenly trying to make your friendship stronger and is showing stronger signs of attraction.
However, back in the old days, things were a lot simpler; a woman would make eye contact with someone, he would muster up the courage to ask her out for coffee, courtship begins, the love life blossoms and the next thing – they’re hitched. To put it simply, people generally knew what they were getting into before they advanced in that direction with someone.
Nowadays, defining the relationship with one another comes much down the line. It all starts with the unspoken attraction between two people and spirals into a few more dates, hangouts and so much more. Despite all this, neither party really comes out to put labels on anything, despite the fact that they both feel like their in a relationship.
All this and so much more are one of the signs you’re in an unspoken relationship. If you want to get more information on the deeper things that can happen, here are some pointers.
1. You don’t only hang out in the bedroom.
It can get pretty crazy on the physical front when you first meet a person and you can find yourself bumping uglies at every point. In some cases, there are people that solely bump uglies and that ends the extent of their relationship. If, at some point, you realize that the other party has started to pay attention to you outside the bedroom, you’re in an unspoken relationship.
If two people are just in it for the sex, then going out for dinner, watching movies or showing up to social engagements together is off the table. Some people even think they can comfortably navigate the ‘friends with benefits’ situation without catching feelings. But if you’re ready to confine that solely to the bedroom, then it’ll probably work out just fine.
On the other hand, once you begin to find ways to balance sex and social life, just hand in your single card before it gets revoked. Being attracted to someone on more than one level points to the fact that feelings have crept in. Certainly, time is a precious commodity and if you are willing to share it, then guess what? You are definitely in an unspoken relationship with that person, so buck up and commit.
2. You’ve met the friends and family.
Let’s say you are just getting to know someone and are fortunate enough to get introduced to their friends and family; make no mistake, this is likely the start of a relationship. It really does not matter how this meeting goes down, the fact that they are even ready to introduce you to their close friends and family shows that you are not simply a ‘day of the week’ or a vague memory in their heads; this is a clear sign you are in an unspoken relationship.
If it was nothing more than a roll in the hay, trust me, they would know and wouldn’t even bother talking to you talkless of remembering your face. Even more, the friends and family are the gateways, or should I say, the judge and jury. Sure, if they like you, nothing else should matter; but trust me, they definitely factor in what their friends think.
Nevertheless, you should embrace the judgment, as it just means that you are important enough to be observed. So, if you are nothing more than a fling, there is really no way they will introduce you to their loved ones. Even if they do by some chance, your identity will be forgotten as fast as it was revealed.
3. They care about your needs.
Now, don’t expect a booty call to care if you are with the flu or you had a bad day at work. That’s not part of the invisible relationship description, to be honest. So, if things suddenly change and he’s bringing you chicken soup when you’re down with a bug. Or, he’s checking on you after that big deal at work fell through, then guess what? It's an unspoken relationship!
The truth of the matter is that people hardly invest their time or energy in one another if their feelings are not invested. So, once things switch up on this front, then you better hunker down and call a spade a spade.
Life is too short to deny that those urges to do something nice for someone actually mean something. So, lean into it, especially if they are doing the same thing too. Because, newsflash! You are already doing everything normal couples do, if not more.
To Sum Things Up
Nobody wants to express one-sided feelings, that’s for sure. If we are getting to know someone, we want feelings to be reciprocated whether it's as friends or lovers. So, if you want to get ahead of things before they get out of hand, pay close attention to all the points in this article.
Who knows? With all this information at your disposal, you could finally end up defining that relationship or running for the hills where it's needed. If you found this helpful or at least compelling, let me know in the comment section below. Even better, do someone a favor and share this with them. Let’s spread the love.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.