So it’s been a year or two, and you and your boyfriend have been together for a couple of years.
Your relationship is great, and the two of you are quite happy and steady, and now you’re hearing wedding bells.
But the question is this: is your love also feeling a marriage proposal coming on?
Some guys can be really hard to read when it comes to the topic of marriage. If he is ignoring subtle hits, or the topic altogether, it may mean he’s not reached that stage yet. Marriage is way more complicated for men. For a woman, if our heart is invested in him it’s an easy decision. For a guy, they require a lot more time and thought into the notion.
This can cause a lot of questions and worry for a woman who is looking for signs that he wants to tie the knot and live life happily together forever. And once we start thinking about marriage, we tunnel vision looking for any sign at all that he might feel like getting down on one knee.
Keep reading, because the dating advice we’re about to give you may put your heart at ease. Marriage is a big deal, and when you are looking for signs he wants to marry you it’s important you recognize them, and you realize there is a good reason why he is taking his time.
- 1 What Does He Think About Marriage?
- 2 What's Keeping Him From Asking The Question?
- 3 Here Are Some Signs He Wants to Marry You
- 3.1 1. He talks about marriage.
- 3.2 2. He tries to bond with your family.
- 3.3 3. He wants to get to know your children.
- 3.4 4. He talks about having future children.
- 3.5 5. Makes plans for the future.
- 3.6 6. He changes his life for you.
- 3.7 7. The two of you hardly argue.
- 3.8 8. He introduces you to all of his people/kids.
- 3.9 9. He includes you in everything.
- 3.10 10. He wants to live together.
- 3.11 11. He wants to invest in your relationship.
- 3.12 12. He wants to get a new pet.
- 3.13 13. You are his best friend.
- 3.14 14. Rekindled romance.
- 3.15 15. Hints around jewelry.
- 3.16 16. He wants to merge your finances.
- 4 How Long Will He Take?
- 5 In Conclusion…
What Does He Think About Marriage?
To a guy, marriage isn’t about the big beautiful perfect wedding, the perfect dress, or the perfect venue. In fact in most cases when a man proposes to get married, he isn’t thinking about the actual wedding at all. For a man, marriage goes much deeper than what we give the male species credit for, and a lot of decisions and thought plays a large part in when he asks you to marry him.
When a man wants to get married, he’s thinking of starting and caring for a family. It’s taking on the responsibility of providing for someone other than himself. He’s thinking about his future, the rest of his life, and the big events that are going to follow after he’s put a ring on that finger. When a man has found ‘the one,’ there isn’t anything that is going to stop him from taking your relationship to the next level.
When it comes to making you his wife, he is going to want to take his time, sort through all kinds of fears, and make all the right decisions. Not to mention the marriage proposal has to be perfect. Popping the question requires plans, advice, ring sizes, and of course the perfect engagement ring.
What's Keeping Him From Asking The Question?
Believe it or not, social and emotional pressure plays a large part in why your guy may be taking his time to make a move. There are so many scary things when making plans to propose: Social pressure, family pressure, the expectations of married couples to settle down and have kids, get a house and live the picket-fence life. Worrying about if you will say yes is also a major factor.
Most of the time, it’s not the commitment that makes a man hesitate when making wedding plans. The only thing scarier than change is permanence, and marriage brings into play all kinds of major life events that only lead to more permanent change.
Believe it or not, guys need dating advice just as much as women do. So instead of rushing your boyfriend into a proposal and potentially make him delay the action any longer, play your part to give him all of the signs that you are the one, and that he should feel good about starting his own family with you.
But really at the end of the day, we want to know if and when he is going to pop the question. The thought of getting married can get into a woman’s head. All we really want to know is: “Is he going to marry me? Will he ask me to marry him? Does he want to get married?” Sometimes, we can drive ourselves a little crazy thinking about it.
One thing that may help you have a little patience for the big question is knowing the signs he wants to marry you. Picking up on these subtle details may help put everything you are worried about to rest and reassure you that no matter how long it takes to ask, he most definitely is in love with you and might be popping the question soon.
Here Are Some Signs He Wants to Marry You
1. He talks about marriage.
The first and most obvious sign that your man may be thinking about popping the question is he will come out and talk about it, or bring it up in conversation. In some cases, he may casually bring it up at an opportune moment as a joke, to gauge your reaction.
Most of the time, a guy will feel comfortable enough to discuss marriage openly once he’s decided that you are ‘the one.’ When marriage becomes a casual conversation, he’s already realized that he wants to marry you, the way he approaches things about your future way differently. Once he’s reached this point, it’s easy for him to say “I want to marry you.”
Not all men will openly talk about marriage and most men who aren’t even considering the notion of getting married will avoid the topic altogether. A man who is not interested in being someone’s husband is generally very clear about it. They will visibly and verbally scoff at the notion of marriage.
If you bring marriage up, and things get weird, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s not thought about settling down on that level yet. But if talking about marriage has become a comfortable subject for you and your boyfriend, your relationship is headed in the right direction, and he just might be hearing wedding bells.
2. He tries to bond with your family.
Family and relationships can be difficult and interesting. For those of you who are blessed with an easy integration of your significant other into your families, just know that I am jealous of you.
Despite if it’s easy or not, the more traditional man will try to get closer to your family, your parents, siblings, whoever you are close to. He will treat your family like his own, and try to get to know them. This helps later when some of them ask your family for permission for your hand in marriage.
Not every man is able to do this, however. There are a lot of difficult factors in this situation: Your boyfriend, and your family. You know your family, and you know how everyone gets along with each other. And the struggle there is you can’t control anything about the situation.
That being said, some men will fight for approval from his woman’s family. If a guy is willing to put up with a difficult family to make you happy, then there is no one that can get between the two of you, including family.
For a guy to humble himself to a protective or difficult parent or other relatives, or if he even stands up for you against your own family, it’s a pretty good sign he wants to marry you.
3. He wants to get to know your children.
Everyone knows that there isn’t anyone in the world more important to a woman than her kids. And if you already have kids, you’ve been extra careful about getting in a relationship with anyone. You and your kids are a package deal, and they have to be good enough for your kids too, not just you.
If a guy is serious about a relationship with a woman with children, he takes the time to get to know them. He will want to get closer to them, to become a solid figure in their life, he will want to protect and care for them. When a man is truly in love with a mother, he will want them to love him too.
A man who wants to get married will want to insert himself into the life of his lady in all aspects. He will want to join her family and strive to achieve to feel like he has. Acceptance of the offspring of a man’s lady love is a huge step towards his future with you as a family.
It’s never easy taking in another person’s kid, and nobody ever goes into a long-term relationship with someone with the intention of anyone getting hurt. When he truly opens his heart to a woman’s child, it is truly a selfless act.
He is putting his own heart on the line trying to establish a relationship with his future bride’s children. If something were to go wrong, he would have absolutely no control over the situation. Many guys who have custody issues over their own children have a hard time getting past the fear of a child he loves getting ripped away from him again.
When a man decides to bond with a woman’s children, he isn’t going to be confused about his motives, or about his feelings.
4. He talks about having future children.
Most women will know that men don’t talk about having children lightly. Once it happens, he knows his life will never be the same. So talking about children is usually avoided until he is comfortable with the idea of having them.
Bringing up the idea of starting a family is a big step in most relationships for a guy. Even if it’s said lightly in a joking way, if a man makes a remark about having a kid with you, it’s one of a few pretty clear signs that he’s serious about you.
Women should know that when a man mentions that he wants children with you, he’s contemplated heavily about being with you for the rest of his life. Planning for offspring isn’t as natural and easy for men as it is for men, and planning a future family with someone requires tons of trust, love, and commitment.
In general, if your boyfriend mentions having kids, he’s more than likely already thought about getting married. Nothing is more permanent than creating another human being. Once you become a parent, that is your life. And that is something a man must be certain he’s committed to before even suggesting it to his one-and-only.
5. Makes plans for the future.
When a man talks about the future with you, you can be sure that he is serious about your relationship. When you first get together, everything starts out as very ‘in the moment.’ Being with each other is exciting, and you can’t seem to get enough of each other.
During the beginning, there is no thought of the future, or making plans, or life-changing events. It’s innocent, it’s fresh, it’s fun and new. He had no inclination that he may really fall in love with you one day. When he starts to plant events, and making waves for a future, you will know he’s committed to your relationship and preparing for anything.
Planning for the future is fun and exciting and with a blossoming romance, the sky is the limit on what the future could hold for a determined couple. But when he’s making future plans with you he is banking that you’re going to stick around for them.
The future is never set in stone, and when he’s thinking of making non-refundable purchases on vacations, a deposit on a new home for you both, or buying a $2,000 ring, he’s going to want you to be reliable and consistent to show up for those plans in the future.
6. He changes his life for you.
If a man makes a drastic change to his lifestyle for a woman, it’s a good sign that he is serious and committed. No one is going to change their life for something they are not invested in, and both of you will go through a few adjustments to incorporate each other into your daily lives.
For women who have managed to snag themselves a guy that has been considered a ‘playboy’ before your relationship, it’s important to appreciate when he introduces you to his female friends. He is showing you off, and you have nothing to worry about.
If the connection is real and your man truly loves you, he won’t mind making some changes. Other women will become irrelevant, he will change bad habits for his lady love and much more. She just has to be worth it for him.
Communication and trust are the key to relationships and play a huge part in their success. If you communicate to your guy about things that you’re unhappy about, he will be happy to meet you halfway or more.
Even if your man isn’t making a drastic change in his life, or if being a player isn’t the tough change he has to make, nothing will stop him once he’s decided that your relationship is worth it. Learning to be together is a learning curve for two people.
Whether he changes everything or just something small about himself, know that if a man adjusts his life so you feel like you fit into it better, it’s a sign he’s in the relationship for the long haul.
7. The two of you hardly argue.
The hardest part of a relationship is usually the beginning. Men aren’t going to be eager to get married to someone they argue with a lot. Toxic relationships with a lot of arguing aren’t likely going to continue long solidly. Most relationships like that are on and off, and don’t get enough stability long enough for a man to be able to consider marriage.
Before he’s going to consider proposing, you two are going to need to get to a point in your relationship where you don’t argue much anymore, and you are basically in harmony. It’s easier for a man to walk away from a relationship he feels isn’t going anywhere than it is for a woman to let go of that same relationship.
8. He introduces you to all of his people/kids.
One sign your partner is invested in your relationship is that he introduces you to his people His family, his friends, work associates, anyone who is willing to meet you. When a man chooses a mate, he wants to show her off.
Pride is a detrimental part of a man’s genetic coding, and there is no better prize for a grown man than to a good woman in his life. One of the best signs is when the two of you reach the point that point in your relationship where he has introduced you to everyone he possibly can that he wants to marry you one day.
Among all of the signs he wants to marry you, this is probably one of the most commonly under-appreciated ones. A man is a private creature, and he likes to keep his friendships separate from his love life. When he starts including you when he’s chilling with his boys, it means you’re his number one pride and joy, and he likes showing you off any chance he gets.
It’s a good sign when he starts encouraging you to try and bond with his kids more if he has any. Just like a protective mother, a man is not going to introduce and incorporate a lady into his children’s lives unless he was certain about her. The only way you’re going to be allowed to bond with his kids is if he wants you to.
9. He includes you in everything.
A man who wants to marry you will include you in everything. From important decisions to family get-togethers, to work events, he will want you to be a part of anything he can manage to include you in.
One sign a man is ready for marriage is when your input and presence are important to him. Your relationship will be completely out in the open, and there will be nothing for you to doubt. Your opinion will be important to him, so he will discuss major changes and decisions with you before making a move.
Not only will he want to include you in everything he’s involved in, but he will want to be included in your world too. Your interests and hobbies will interest him, and even if he doesn’t actively participate he will hope you will want him around as much as he wants you around.
When he begins to use the words ‘we,’ ‘when’ and acts as if all events in the future automatically involve you, you can assume that he is already including you into his immediate and unforeseeable future. Many men become adamant about working more as a team the more serious the relationship becomes.
10. He wants to live together.
The first step for most people to know if they want to get married is to cohabitate. In fact, for most people, the most surefire way to figure out if marriage is the right path is to move in together.
There comes a point in time in most relationships where sleeping gets hard to do when the other person is missing. But spending the night and living together are two completely different things. Moving in together isn’t a little step in any relationship, and there are many different factors that affect when this will happen.
Moving in together is a sign that there is absolute trust, that all of his things are your things, and your things are his. When he is ready to make closet space for your things or shows signals that he’d like you to do that for him, it’s a sign that he’s thinking about a solid constant future with you.
Men will miss you when they are gone, and eventually being together will be natural, and being apart will feel way out of place. One of the signs he wants to live with you is how affectionate he will be after being apart, or the need to be with you all the time. Not to mention that living together makes getting his hands on that booty easier too, and you know he’s excited about that.
11. He wants to invest in your relationship.
One of the other signs he wants to marry you is if he has suggested making an investment together for your relationships. There are many expectations and ‘life goals’ we all hope to achieve along the way towards happiness.
If a guy suggests that you two should buy a car or house, invest in a business together, make or start anything big with you, it’s a sign of trust, and a way to tie yourselves together financially.
If a man wants to invest financially in a relationship, he is not playing around with his future. This is a situation where you can know in your heart of hearts that he is ready to take your relationship to the extreme.
Financial investment is a risk, and not something any guy is going to do lightly. He will need to completely trust you and feel comfortable letting you have a part in his life that could affect him in either a positive or negative way.
A wedding is an investment. From the ring to the dress, to the legal certification stating that you are married, it costs money. He is going to want to know that he can trust you with that financial and emotional investment.
Marriage itself is also an investment. It’s an investment of time, trust, love, energy, and all of the things that go hand in hand with relationships. He will want to be sure that you are willing to put as much into the relationship as he is, and what better way to test that then investing something financially together.
12. He wants to get a new pet.
Getting a pet with your boyfriend may sound simple, but it’s actually something that goes way deeper than you can imagine. Getting a pet, whether its an aquarium full of fish or a Golden Retriever, is a great idea for couples who are not certain about kids yet. It's a great way to try taking care of another living creature together.
Getting a pet together is another permanent change. In a way, it’s similar to having a kid – except less stressful. What happens if you two break things off? Who would get the pet if something happens? It’s a commitment, a statement that means he wants to be with you for at least the lifespan of the pet.
Bringing a pet into the relationship is a big deal. It’s an opportunity for feelings to be put at risk. People get attached to their pets, and obviously, when getting one together, he is trusting that the two of you will remain together as a family.
13. You are his best friend.
When your guy stops going to his best friends first and starts coming to you, it’s a pretty good indication that you have now hit the number one slot in his inner circle. You are his Guinevere – his queen and equal.
Men have a terrible time being vulnerable, especially to the woman he wants to marry. Pride, masculinity, and social stigma on a man showing his feelings keep most guys pretty much on guard emotionally.
Not only will you have broken that barrier of his emotional self, but you will become his main advisor, and confidant. Your opinion holds value to him, and he is most likely to follow your advice over anyone else’s. At the end of the day, it's you and him against the world together.
A word of caution: This takes time, patience, and be warned that this trust can be easily shattered. When a guy opens up to you completely, don’t take that trust for granted. It’s much harder for men than it is for women to be vulnerable, and as his best friend and hopefully future wife, it’s your job to support him, guide him, and always have his back.
The minute a man changes from “Bros before hoes,” he is completely devoted to you and expects the same in return. This also puts his pride at stake, as it would embarrass him if it turned out you were less loyal than his friends.
14. Rekindled romance.
Before making a grand gesture such as a proposal, you and your guy may experience a surge of romance. While he is thinking about if he wants to marry you, making plans, going ring shopping, and worrying about whether or not you’ll say yes, he may be more affectionate than usual.
During this time, your guy is going through a lot emotionally. So he may want to cuddle, kiss or even get naked with you more often. I don’t think any woman will complain about this, but if he suddenly gets more lovey-dovey, he may have a surprise for you soon.
Note: This is not the case for every relationship and man. You know your partner best, so this may not apply to your situation.
15. Hints around jewelry.
Many men will wait and go ring shopping with the woman he wants to marry. However, the more traditional guy may want to get the engagement ring first for when he gets down on one knee.
Part of the fun is not knowing how he will propose. Either way, he’s going to need your ring size. Engagement rings are important, and the execution of sliding engagement rings on the outstretched finger on the brides-to-be is the picturesque proposal many people go for.
Some men will come straight out and ask for it. That is the most obvious of signs he wants to marry you. At that point, you really don’t need to wonder if he wants to marry you or not.
But some men are romantics, who may get the help of your mother, siblings, or even your best friend on your ring size. Be on the lookout for sneaky casual mentions of rings in conversations with your mutual contacts – you never know when he may try to surprise you.
There is a lot that goes into buying a ring. Take it from an ex-diamond sales representative, men get nervous about making the final selection on the ring. I remember explaining how different styles of rings looked at different lengths and size fingers, and explaining diamond color and quality.
A cute little secret is that for a lot of men, that nervousness when picking out jewelry for their one-true-love doesn’t go away. My favorite memory of selling jewelry was helping a man pick out a pearl piece for his 10th anniversary for his wife. He was nervous as he explained about the anniversary.
“Pearls are her favorite, so they have to be perfect. I have no idea what I am doing, and I want them flawless, just like her. Can you help me please, miss? You look like you know what you’re doing.” I remember my heart just fills with joy as I helped him pick out a pink pearl necklace and earring set.
16. He wants to merge your finances.
None of the other signs he wants to marry you are as heavy as the topic of merging your finances. Joining bank accounts is probably one of these heaviest decisions you and your future husband will make together.
When you create a joint bank account, you are literally trusting one another with something that has been the cause of many relationship fallouts: Money. It takes a lot of trust, responsibility, communication, and honesty to effectively have a joint bank account.
This is not something that all couples do nowadays. However, it does make it easier when you guys do decide to invest in your future. Merging your finances isn’t just creating a joint bank account. It can be combining your bills and working together to pay them.
It can even be making a savings account, or even anointing each other beneficiaries of any assets or insurance policies. These aren’t light decisions, and only a person he trusts and loves would be given the responsibility of merging finances with him.
How Long Will He Take?
I hope after reading this article you’re still hearing wedding bells, and you’re feeling elated because your future husband has been showing signs he’s ready to tie the knot. Your next question is probably: How long is it going to take for him to finally ask?
Every relationship is different, and marriage shouldn’t ever be rushed. Try to be patient and realize you are just one half of a whole. While you might have known months ago that you want to get married, remember he may not be there yet.
Take your time to enjoy being in the thrall of love, there is no hurry. If he wants to marry you, he will eventually get around to asking you. If neither of you has ever mentioned marriage, try talking about it, and get an idea if marriage is something he’s even considered.
The important thing to remember is this: If you want to marry him, that means you guys are happy. So while he is getting prepared for marriage, focus on building your relationship with him. The closer and happier you two are, the more likely he will be to get down on one knee. Let your partnership unfold the natural way.
Statistics show that couples who date for at least two years before engagement have a higher success rate. Love can’t be rushed and learning how to together takes time. So as loud as those wedding bells may be ringing in your ears, remember to let him go at his own pace.
Marriage takes a lot of preparation, and every step you take together in building your bond with each other is imperative. For many women, when they commit to a man it’s an easy decision to invest and commit to forever. It isn’t always as easy for male sex.
If he’s taking his time to propose, he has a reason. He could even have several reasons. He could be afraid of losing his individuality or freedom, he could be waiting for the right moment, or he simply could not be prepared for marriage just yet.
Regardless if he proposes to you now, or months from now, rest assured that if any of the above signs apply to your relationship he is most definitely in love with you, and is committed to sticking around for a long time to come. Keep being patient with him, and he just might propose before you know it!
In some cases, it takes years for a man to propose. Another reason he could be taking his time is he is worried he is not good enough to worry you. If you two are in a situation where there may be a lack of stability, there may be a reason for the delay. Again, men are proud creatures, and if he can’t afford a wedding or a ring, he may not want to ask yet.
Has your boyfriend already proposed? Did you know he was going to do it? Share with us in the comments your story about how you knew your fiance was going to propose. Be sure to like and share if you enjoyed this article!
When it comes to relationships, I have seen them all. I have spent the better part of 10 years giving relationship counseling to people of all ages for their relationships. I specialize in helping repair failing relationships. I also counsel others on Abusive relationships. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 8 years, before breaking it off. After finding my own peace and healing I have spent a lot of time helping people with similar situations.