‘’Once a cheater, always a cheater’. No doubt, that’s one motto many of us women live by. There’s no way to excuse such a ratchet behavior from someone you loved and trusted who then went on to betray you. The nerve of him!
However, despite the hurt and mistrust, you’ll be interested to know that he might still have some feelings for you. Yes, you heard right!
But don’t get me wrong – I know you’re a wreck right now and can’t think straight, but it will be interesting to observe if the words ‘I’m sorry’ (which likely followed the cheating act) was truly from the heart.
No doubt, if he did say he’s sorry and wants to make things right, you’re likely in a dilemma – you want to believe him so bad, but there’s a part of your mind that tells you he’s only feeling guilty. So, what do you do? How do you differentiate? Luckily, that’s what I’m here to help with.
I will go into further detail to help you understand the most pertinent signs that tell you that indeed your partner is remorseful of cheating and wants to work on rebuilding trust.
- 1 Signs He Regrets Cheating
- 1.1 1. He adjusts to your needs.
- 1.2 2. He breaks off ties with them.
- 1.3 3. He is ready to earn your trust back.
- 1.4 4. He is remorseful, not guilty.
- 1.5 5. He apologizes often… and openly
- 1.6 6. He holds himself accountable
- 1.7 7. He is open to counseling and therapy.
- 1.8 8. Others notice his remorse.
- 1.9 9. He communicates more.
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
Signs He Regrets Cheating
1. He adjusts to your needs.
Despite the popular belief that men might cheat more due to evolutionary factors, let’s get things straight – mankind has moved on, so should your relationship. Hence, if someone cheats on you, you’ve been wronged, and as such, you’re a victim.
Furthermore, being the victim means you’re not on trial, and as such, you get to make all the demands. And since you’re both the judge and jury, that cheater, who at this stage is remorseful of his action, has the responsibility of meeting all your needs and expectations before both of you can be okay again.
No doubt, his willingness to adjust to your needs in the relationship is certainly one of the first signs that prove your partner is truly remorseful of his actions. More so, this is done as your form of retribution and his way of penance.
2. He breaks off ties with them.
This next sign is an automatic act because something needs to go. If he’s repentant and wants to make things right, he will immediately cease contact with the person they had an affair with. No doubt, breaking ties clearly shows that they’ve lost interest in the person.
Look – the two of you were clearly in love, and he betrayed you. This why this act of letting go of the cheating half doesn’t have to be demanded or requested by you – he was the one caused both of you to get to such a pint in the first place; so all bridges should lead to his need to cut ties, as well as show repentance and seriousness in his willingness to change.
3. He is ready to earn your trust back.
So, is he willing to prove himself again after such betrayal? If so, this is one of the best signs of remorse. Clearly, cheating affects the trust you have in someone, and trust isn’t easy or quick to earn back. Repairing hearts and trust can be a very long and delicate process because you need to prove that, indeed, you’re still worth another chance. The ability of your cheating rascal to show a willingness to do everything to earn your trust after breaking it deliberately is a very positive sign.
4. He is remorseful, not guilty.
There’s a massive difference between feeling guilt and feeling remorse. Guilt is based on the person feeling the emotion, while repentance is a more profound emotion which considers genuine empathy for the pain felt by the other person involved. Hence why you need to be sure that your partner’s confessions are authentic and based on remorse, not regret.
A typical example of words being said out of remorse is ‘forgive me for hurting you.’ Guilt, on the other hand, sounds more like ‘stop making me feel guilty for hurting you.’ Feelings attached to guilt are often emotionless, flat, and more focused on doing away with the punishment.
5. He apologizes often… and openly
If he apologizes openly and is often expressive of what he’s apologizing for indicates a person who is sincerely remorseful of cheating on you. But be certain he is not making blanket apologies with vague statements, and that he apologizes stating what was done, and how truly sorry he is.
6. He holds himself accountable
This is another one of the vital signs which show that your partner is sincerely repenting. He always holds himself accountable, and never relies on you to do so, this happens because being genuinely remorseful, he is more concerned with your feelings than his own. To take care of this, he will end up doing the things they believe will help lessen your pain, either through actions or words.
7. He is open to counseling and therapy.
To put it simply, anything that will help make the relationship thrive once more, your partner is willing to give it a shot. Couple counseling is a very tough thing for men, especially since it requires them to be open and vulnerable. Truly remorseful partners are always ready to do what it takes to move forward in the relationship. They’re on board every action you wish for them to take, seeing it as an opportunity for them to take full responsibility for their actions.
8. Others notice his remorse.
If you’re not sure how to decipher your partner’s actions, some people around you can. Trusted friends (not his, yours), will be honest about what they see in your partner. Some family members can also help, especially if you’re both married. In some instances, your emotions will prevent you from reading your partner’s actions and words, thus having a little external can go a long way.
9. He communicates more.
At this point in your relationship, your remorseful partner will be verbal and brutally honest through communication. He will be an open book about how he feels, reasons why the situation happened, his wants and hopes moving forward, and what he’s willing to do to make things right.
Certainly, communication in relationships is vital, and as such, being able to do that in a crisis makes a vast difference in what happens next.
Infidelity hurts everyone involved. The actions of the cheater negatively affect not only the other partner, who was betrayed but the close friends, children, families, and even the entire community. Believe it or not, the cheater experiences some form of hurt too. Men who cheat are also affected emotionally, with feelings of shame, guilt, regret, confusion, worry, and self-loathing finding a home in their mind.
When someone is guilty about having an affair, their body language often gives them away. It is vital to watch for sudden changes in behavior, how they react to situations and surprises, changes in their patterns of speech, and facial expressions. A sudden change in body language often occurs when a person is feeling tense or is nervous. These changes can be red flags in relationships.
There is one sign that most men show when they’re cheating on their partners. They accuse them of having an affair too. This might seem confusing, but it’s a regular occurrence with men. If he continually accuses you of doing the same thing, it might be because he is insecure and afraid of abandonment. Of course, when a partner is afraid of being cheated on, they might decide to do it first.
Cheating is widespread in relationships, even healthy ones. There are several people in committed relationships, with great love and immense chemistry, who have had affairs.
For some cheaters, the experience and after-effects can cause them to become more intimate with their partner, in a bid to make the relationship work again. This tends to put an end to their cheating once and for all. Once a cheater, always a cheater isn’t accurate since some individuals grow from the emotional guilt to rekindle the fire in their relationship.
Don’t blame yourself in any way for the incident. Your partner had an affair because they wanted to, not because of something you did. You’re never to blame for the failure of a marriage or affair. Also, after finding out about such an incident, place yourself first. Indulge in your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies, and prioritize your needs first. In other words, do everything that takes away your hurt and heal your bruised heart.
To Sum Up
Men can be hard to understand. Nevertheless, it’s always vital to remember that contrary to what you might believe, your partner didn’t cheat on you to hurt you! They did it out of their insecurities and wild desires. Also, to build trust and mend the relationship, it will take the two of you to Tango!
I hope you enjoyed this article, and with our tips, you can decipher if indeed he regrets cheating on you or he feels guilty and stuck. Don’t forget to let your friends know by sharing our article.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.