Men can be confusing at times and send mixed signals. Today, it seems like he is being flirtatious and suggesting that he may be interested in having a relationship. The next day he acts like you are in a plain, platonic friendship – almost treating you like an acquaintance.
This can be confusing and a bit annoying if you are the type of person that likes your relationships to be clearly defined.
Guys who feel they aren’t in your league or are too shy to express their feelings could camouflage their feelings by acting all tough, rude, and mean to you. Do you feel the guy you like is only pretending not to like you? Well, here are 41 ways of knowing for sure.
- 1 41 Signs He’s Pretending Not To Like You
- 1.1 1. He Acts Casual And Aloof But He Slips Up Sometimes
- 1.2 2. He Seems Sad Or Resigned Around You
- 1.3 3. He’s Overly Cautious Around You
- 1.4 4. He’s Curious About Your Love-Life But Never Talks About His
- 1.5 5. He Just Seems To Always Be Around
- 1.6 6. He Says You’re Just Friends But Never Talks About Other Women
- 1.7 7. He Can’t Stop Laughing Around You
- 1.8 8. You’ve Triggered His Instinct
- 1.9 9. He Can’t Stop Smiling Around You
- 1.10 10. He’s Wondering What’s Going On With You
- 1.11 11. Subtle Touches
- 1.12 12. His Body Language Indicates Otherwise
- 1.13 13. He Feels Important To You
- 1.14 14. He Slips Up And Gets Flustered When He Talks To You
- 1.15 15. He Is Always Fidgeting And Inching Towards You
- 1.16 16. He Remembers Everything You Say
- 1.17 17. He Picks On You, But In A Fun Way
- 1.18 18. He Offers You Genuine Compliments
- 1.19 19. You Get That Special Feeling
- 1.20 20. His Friends Don’t Hit On You
- 1.21 21. It’s In His Eyes
- 1.22 22. He Gets Jealous When You Talk To Other Guys
- 1.23 23. He Jokes About Dating You
- 1.24 24. He Plays Hot And Cold
- 1.25 25. He Stares At You
- 1.26 26. He Tries To Help You With Your Problems
- 1.27 27. He Asks A Lot Of Questions
- 1.28 28. He Tries To Make You Jealous
- 1.29 29. He Opens Up To You
- 2 Other Signs He Is Pretending Not To Like You Include
- 3 FAQs
- 4 In Conclusion
41 Signs He’s Pretending Not To Like You
1. He Acts Casual And Aloof But He Slips Up Sometimes
A lot of guys like to act care-free around women that they like. When he does this but sometimes does shockingly nice things or shows he is really there for you. That is a sure-fire way to know the guy likes you. Some of the things he might do include:
- Liking some of your social media posts
- Always being one of the first to view your posts and stories
- Answering your texts and calls right away
- Paying kind and genuine compliments to you frequently
- Listening to you when you have an issue or things are bothering you
2. He Seems Sad Or Resigned Around You
When someone is pretending to dislike you, he’ll send mixed signals and have you wondering about his true intentions. If the man in question seems sad or resigned whenever he is around you, he most likely secretly likes you. He’ll make eye contact, but not for long. He’s probably doing so because he feels he can’t be with you.
He has concluded in his mind that you are not into him and so he feels disappointed in himself even though he is attracted to you.
3. He’s Overly Cautious Around You
Despite his care-free attitude, you might notice that he is extra careful with his words or actions whenever he is around you. He always makes an effort to make sure he says the right thing, or at least what he thinks is the right thing whenever you are around.
He is doing this because he likes you and does not want you to have the wrong impression of him. As he may act on those feelings later down the line.
4. He’s Curious About Your Love-Life But Never Talks About His
You might have noticed that whenever you talk to a new guy, or you take interest in a new male friend, he is always super interested to know what the nature of the relationship is.
You might have also noticed that he is not particularly a fan of guys that you find attractive, and he’ll say things like, ‘that guy is just going to break your heart.’ It's one of the signs he’s pretending not to like you. If he does need to know about a guy you’re seeing, he’ll go as far as asking your friends about him.
5. He Just Seems To Always Be Around
Have you noticed that he always seems to be around? He’s never too far away from you, is he? When you need him, is he usually there? If so, he probably likes you. He’ll want to spend time with you, get to know you, but all the while he’ll make jokes about your stories and even make insensitive statements just to throw you off his tracks.
6. He Says You’re Just Friends But Never Talks About Other Women
If he never talks about other women, then he definitely is into you. Guys love to talk about women, whether it is the woman that he is currently in a relationship with or the lady (or ladies) that he is currently seeing. Whatever the case may be, guys that are in the dating pool will usually talk about women.
There’s a popular sales saying that goes, if you are not being sold something, then you are the thing being sold. Apply that to this scenario. If a guy isn’t talking to you about another girl, you are probably the person he’s talking about to others.
7. He Can’t Stop Laughing Around You
We already know that if we like a guy, we tend to find him a little funnier than usual. What you might not know, is that it works similarly for men as well. If a man likes you, he will laugh more at your jokes.
No matter how “unfunny” they are- he will at least crack a smile. There is just an inseparable link between how we feel about someone and how hilarious we think they are.
8. You’ve Triggered His Instinct
For a man to fall in love with you and stay in love with you, you must have triggered his hero instincts. Hero instincts are those instincts biologically instilled in a male’s DNA that make them feel protective over you. If he really likes you, he’ll pay attention to your needs and want to be the guy that helps you out.
This concept may seem silly or unnecessary to most of us because we feel we do not need protection. But it is real. Once you notice someone is being protective or territorial over you, and he feels like he needs to keep you safe physically, mentally, or emotionally, you have triggered his hero instincts and he most likely is in love with you.
9. He Can’t Stop Smiling Around You
We already partly discussed this when we discussed the laughing point. Even with his lackadaisical attitude, you will notice subtly, that he always smiles when he talks to you and whenever he is around you.
This is hardly for any particular reason other than psychological. He smiles because he likes you and wants to attract your attention. If he really likes you, he could be saying something mean, but won’t help smiling when you say something nice.
10. He’s Wondering What’s Going On With You
If he does spend time with you but still sends you mixed signals, you probably won’t know his true feelings. However, pay attention to the personal questions he asks you. If he spends even one day apart from you, he’ll try to find out what you did while he was away. (why you’re acting a certain way) it shows that he cares about you and probably likes you.
11. Subtle Touches
While some men are not exactly into physical touch, some others need it to feel connected to you. For these kinds of men, you will notice that they always find an excuse to hold your hand, brush your arm or leg, or even just bump into you. He may taunt and scowl at you, but if he tenses up every time your bodies touch, it’s one of the signs that this guy actually does like you.
12. His Body Language Indicates Otherwise
Body language is one of the non-verbal ways we consciously and (most times) unconsciously communicate with others using a combination of gestures. Body language is very important in knowing how a person feels about you, especially when they might be trying to hide it. Some of these body language signs include;
- He always faces you when you are communicating and doesn’t have his back to you.
- He licks his lips.
- He maintains eye contact.
- He keeps his feet angled toward you.
- His voice changes.
- He leans in when he talks to you.
13. He Feels Important To You
As part of their protective instincts, he likes to feel important in your life partly because he likes to feel needed in certain ways, but also because he wants to know that he is generally important in your life.
Yes, he might ignore you, avoid answering personal questions, and even make you feel like you did something to make him angry. However, this guy would somehow imply how important he is to you in the conversations you have with each other.
14. He Slips Up And Gets Flustered When He Talks To You
Guys like to feel like they’re all smooth with the ladies and know their way around an interesting conversation. But more often than not, guys that like you are not always the eloquent orators they would like to be. He will often mince words or get nervous when talking to you. He might stutter unexpectedly or just say the wrong things. These are all strong signs that he is into you.
15. He Is Always Fidgeting And Inching Towards You
If the guy in question is usually composed but becomes a total klutz when he is around you, this may be one of the signs that he likes you. Less experienced guys will usually become quite restless around a girl that they like because they are nervous. It is natural at that stage and should improve with time.
16. He Remembers Everything You Say
If you realize that he never forgets anything you say then it might be a good sign that he’s really into you. It means that whenever you tell you something, he places so much priority on you that he stores the information in his brain. Guys are usually forgetful and carefree, so when a guy remembers facts about you, it means he’s paying attention for a reason.
17. He Picks On You, But In A Fun Way
If you notice he’s always teasing you this might be because he likes you. Guys will often tease you because they are trying to get your attention. This is also because they love to give you attention in a non-obvious way. Teasing also allows them to make physical contact once in a while and (hopefully, if you find It fun) play or laugh with you.
18. He Offers You Genuine Compliments
“You look really pretty today”, “You have nice eyes”, These are the kind of compliments you hear from a ‘friend’ that may be pretending not to like you. They will often give personal, specific, and genuine compliments/comments about your physical looks or your character.
If he’s someone that really wants to hide his feelings, he’ll follow that up with a ‘but’. He could say something like, “I like your dress, but it’s way too short, what are you, a slut or something?’ His words may bite hard, but one day, you’ll find out he was doing that to make you feel he dislikes you.
19. You Get That Special Feeling
Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you see him? Although it’s not always one of the signs that he likes you, it counts. A woman will usually respond to a man that likes her in a certain way, especially when she feels the same way. There will be a natural vibe between the two of you, and you won’t help but feel those butterflies chirping away at your stomach when you see him.
20. His Friends Don’t Hit On You
If you notice his friends do not hit on you, that’s probably because he has talked about you to his friends many times. They probably know that he has feelings for you- even if he has not expressly said it. The truth is, we confide in our friends a lot and go to them for special advice.
When a friend notices that you are talking about one person for a long period of time, he will understand that you probably have some level of feelings for her. The trend will go round his group of friends, and they would want to keep off you (if they are good friends anyway). It’s part of the ‘bro code’.
21. It’s In His Eyes
Yes, you are not crazy. The way someone looks at you can totally be an indication of how they feel about you. Although it is hard to put into words, follow your instincts. They just might lead you in the right direction.
22. He Gets Jealous When You Talk To Other Guys
If you have noticed that he gets green with jealousy whenever you’re talking to other people then it might be because he likes you. Watch how he reacts when you laugh at what other guys say or flirt with other men. He will most likely disapprove for unstated reasons. Once you notice this unsubstantiated behavior, you should also figure that he likes you.
23. He Jokes About Dating You
If he hypothesizes about dating you a lot, it is probably because he thinks about it a lot. At the same time, he may be subconsciously trying to infuse the idea into your head that you and he might not be such a bad fit. It may come off as a joke, but it is called auto-suggestion. He wants to subtly implant the idea of the both of you dating, and see if it sticks, or at least see how you react to it.
24. He Plays Hot And Cold
Ever noticed that he gets really flirtatious at one point and pulls away from you the next? This is what we mean by playing hot and cold. These are usually caused by uncertainties in feelings. He’ll lay off talking to you for a while, but gets jealous when others are talking to you.
So he’ll come back and try to get your attention again. Yeah, he’s probably not saying the nicest things, but behind that facade, he’s just someone that’s trying to ensure the lady he likes doesn’t hook up with another guy.
25. He Stares At You
A guy who doesn’t want to reveal his true feelings for you would try to avoid you. He may hang out with your friends because he still wants to know what you’re up to, but once you walk in, he’ll take his leave. However, you’ll notice that even when he’s not sitting with you, he’ll steal a few glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking.
26. He Tries To Help You With Your Problems
Again, this goes hand-in-hand with the hero instincts. Guys are primarily problem solvers and will even go as far as stopping you half-way into your rant to try to solve your problem when you just want to talk. A man that likes you would hate to see you in pain and would want to do everything in his power to bring you out of that problem, be it big or small. He’ll pretend he doesn’t care, but when you really need him, he’ll be there.
27. He Asks A Lot Of Questions
A guy who pretends not to like you may not want to get to know you directly. He’d rather listen in on the conversation or ask people who know you. It’s one of the signs he’s pretending to dislike you. He’ll ask your friends about your love-life, upbringing likes and dislikes, and everything in between.
28. He Tries To Make You Jealous
A guy who is pretending not to like you will look for ways to get your attention. If you have the same circle of friends, he’ll take jabs at you, ignore and even insult you. But then, he’ll try to make you jealous by treating someone else really nicely. Guys do this unconsciously sometimes when they are trying so hard to pretend they don’t like or care about you.
They’ll say anything to make you believe they don’t like you, but unconsciously try to make you jealous just so they don’t lose your attention.
29. He Opens Up To You
It is not so easy for a lot of guys to open up emotionally to others. Even when in a committed relationship, it still can be tough, just out of sheer habit. As we have said before, guys find it a little harder to express themselves when it comes to emotions. And so, it takes a lot.
However, if he opens up to you and tells you personal things, and how he feels about those things, then there is a deep connection there. He definitely likes you and has built some level of trust with you.
Other Signs He Is Pretending Not To Like You Include
- He looks at you longingly
- His expression is soft when you’re around
- He starts talking to you then pretends it was a joke
- His approach is kind, but get’s hostile when he notices his guard is down
- His voice is gentle when he talks to you
- His stance is open when he’s talking to you
- His words are kind and constructive when his guard is down
- He keeps a fair distance between both of you
- He ignores you but still tries to be close to you
- He tries to be friends with the people in your circle
- He teases you but defends you behind your back
- He acts a bit weird around you
If a guy is pretending not to like you, he will usually give certain subtle signs. Some of these signs are enumerated and explained above.
Guys pretend they don’t care usually because they are afraid of getting hurt or rejected. It takes a guy a much longer time to get over a heartbreak than his female counterpart. This is because they hardly deal (properly) with emotions and hurt. Another major reason maybe because they are insecure or have an ego-complex.
You usually know if a guy likes you from the way he behaves around you. He might act flustered, or compliment you regularly, or just smile at you all the time in subtle ways. These are tell-tale signs. If he is scared, he will usually be sad around you or on the other hand, avoid certain conversations such as those about love or relationships, with you.
Guys are hardly expressive and are not usually taught how to communicate their emotions or feelings. They end up performing some brawl-minded (macho) act just to show that they like you. This comes off as weird to us because it hardly makes for the romantic gestures we expect. Also, it may be due to inexperience with the ladies. Some guys only hang around in circles of other guys and so do not know how to relate properly with girls.
He’s not into you if he does not know you well and seems selfish. Conversations will always seem to revolve around him and his life. He will hardly know what is going on with you, or what you are into, even though you would have told him a thousand-something times. Also, he will hardly remember any of the conversations you’ve had, no matter how much you emphasize it.
I hope you enjoyed this list of the tell-tale signs of someone who is pretending not to like you. It is important to know on time so that it doesn’t lead to misconceptions or misunderstandings, and using these tips will go a long way in helping. Have you noticed some of these signs in a friend or co-worker? Share your story in the comment section below. Please like and share this article if you enjoyed it or found it useful.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.