If marriage is an ultimate goal, you’re going to be left wondering if a relationship is going to lead to the alter or if it’s something for right now. When you want to get married, dead-end relationships can feel like a waste of time and effort. Even more so, it can be heartbreaking to discover that you’re with someone that simply doesn’t think you’re marriage material.
When it comes to this situation, it’s important to tackle the situation head-on. Instead of waiting around to see if he gets down on one knee, start looking for these signs to figure out whether he wants to spend a lifetime together.
- 1 What Are The Signs To Look Out For?
- 1.1 1. He Says He’s Never Going To Marry
- 1.2 2. He Pushes Off The Proposal
- 1.3 3. He Won’t Set A Date
- 1.4 4. He Avoids The Topic
- 1.5 5. You Don’t Know His Family
- 1.6 6. He Avoids Jewelry Stores Like They’re The Plague
- 1.7 7. He Doesn’t Want To Live With You
- 1.8 8. He Doesn’t Want To Share Life At All
- 1.9 9. The Relationship Is Rocky
- 1.10 10. Lack Of Communication
- 1.11 11. You Don’t Have A Title
- 1.12 12. Not Discussing Future Plans
- 1.13 13. He Doesn’t Care About Your Future, Either
- 1.14 14. He Doesn’t Invite You Out
- 2 Signs He Wants To Marry You
- 3 FAQs
- 4 In Conclusion…
What Are The Signs To Look Out For?
1. He Says He’s Never Going To Marry
Some guys might not have anything against you as a person, but they might despise the idea of marriage as a whole. They simply feel that it’s just a piece of paper or that it means nothing, and that the two of you can still spend the rest of your lives together.
Other men might feel as though an expensive wedding and honeymoon are both wastes of money. To them, it is going to cost thousands of dollars when they could spend the rest of their life with you anyway.
In another category are men that have watched their parents or friends go through brutal divorces, leaving them scared of marriage. Whatever the reason may be, if he gives all the signals that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you yet clearly states that he is not a fan of marriage, don’t expect him to pop the question.
2. He Pushes Off The Proposal
As a woman, you’re going to drop hints that encourage him to pop the question. As a man, it’s normal to pick up on those hints. Then, watch his responses. If he doesn’t want to get married, he’ll postpone the proposal. Making excuses is easier than telling you that he’s never going to marry you. He won’t want to say that he can’t give you what you want, or admit he’s just stringing you along.
Instead, get ready for the motherload of excuses that never ends. He can’t propose until he gets a promotion. He doesn’t want to get married until he can afford a better ring. Something with his family is going on and it’s not a good time. As soon as one excuse gets resolved, another one will pop up. After he finally gets a promotion, he won’t consider marriage until he has enough money saved to be financially stable, which could be years. Consider this one of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you and walk away.
3. He Won’t Set A Date
Maybe he finally caved, said he wanted marriage, and popped the question. Then, it should be time to set a date to marry each other. Months following should be full of preparations for the big day.
Instead, you discover that your guy is back to avoid the topic of marriage. He pushes back the wedding date the same way that he did the proposal. Instead of pushing him to set a date, understand that he might not want to marry, and decide whether you would like to stay with him. Avoidance is one of the biggest signs to watch out for.
4. He Avoids The Topic
Guys that are marriage-minded do not have a problem with marriage conversations. They don’t mind discussing a future or asking about your ring size. If your guy has zero interest in getting married, get ready for a plethora of excuses or him changing the subject when you bring it up.
For example, he’s exhausted or stressed from work or maybe he wants to see how things go in the relationship.
Another thing guys do to avoid the topic of getting married is turning it around on you. These men almost seem defensive in their campaign to avoid discussing marriage. They ask why you feel the need to talk about it or want to know why you have to bring it up now. The thing is, with these men, there’s never a good time to bring up marriage.
5. You Don’t Know His Family
If a man wants to get married to you, he’ll happily take you to all the family functions so even his cousins can meet his future bride, according to relationship expert Andrea Syrtash. On the flip side of that coin, if he does not want to get married, he’ll keep you at a distance from his family. Instead of attending every family function, you might make an appearance at the main ones, such as Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Not only will he physically encourage distance from his family, but he’ll also not encourage bonding. He more than likely will not mention helping his mother with something in the kitchen or nudge you to go talk to his grandma. He doesn’t want his family to get the wrong impression that marriage is around the corner any more than he does you.
6. He Avoids Jewelry Stores Like They’re The Plague
If your man acts nervous and instantly heads in the opposite direction when you want to walk in a jewelry store, it means that he has picked up on your hints and is avoiding the engagement ring section. This is because he’s not ready to propose and doesn’t want to discuss it with you, something that tells you this guy is not going to be your future groom.
7. He Doesn’t Want To Live With You
As the relationship progresses, most couples will entertain the idea of living together. If a boyfriend flat out avoids it, you’re not going to get married. If an opportunity presents itself, such as if he hates his apartment and wants to move out, but he moves somewhere else or moves in with other people instead of you, that’s a sign he doesn’t see you as marriage material. Not only is your boyfriend not planning to get married, but he also might not see a future in the relationship at all.
If he does not want to marry you, he will try to avoid combining your lives at all. You’ll notice that not only does he not want to plan a future vacation together, but he also doesn’t want to combine your lives together at all. If he refuses to share bank accounts, adopt a puppy together, or make any other joint decision it is one of the biggest signs that he does not want to get married.
9. The Relationship Is Rocky
If you really want to know if he wants to take the relationship to the next level, take a good, honest look at the relationship you’re already in. If it is full of warning signs that there is a break upcoming or you see a few of these signs, he doesn’t want to get married.
10. Lack Of Communication
When a guy wants to get married, he will bring you further into his world. He’ll open up about dreams and goals. You’ll get to see a vulnerable side of him that doesn’t come out around many people. If there’s a lack of communication because he’s shutting you out, it’s a sign that the relationship is headed in the opposite direction of marriage.
If your man is not communicating with you, it’s one of the biggest warning signs. First, this is one of the signs that the relationship is unhealthy. When two people are committed to each other, both are willing to put in the hard work that it takes to build a strong foundation. This takes time and effort from both partners. If he isn’t putting in the effort, he more than likely doesn’t see a future with you. If you’re not in the future, remember that it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want to marry you.
11. You Don’t Have A Title
If you think that you’re his significant other, yet he doesn’t introduce you as such to friends and family, you might not have the relationship that you think you do. Pay attention to how he introduces you to people, even if you’re already engaged. If he balks at introducing you as his fiance or never mentions you’re his girlfriend to people, he probably does not have any intention of getting married.
12. Not Discussing Future Plans
When a guy sees a future with you, he will not object to talking about it. He’ll happily discuss future vacations, financial goals, and such. If you’re not in his future, it’s pointless to talk about things that will more than likely happen after the two of you break up. Pay attention to whether he discusses future plans, and if he’s comfortable mentioning them around his family. No one will talk about the future with someone around family members if they aren’t serious.
13. He Doesn’t Care About Your Future, Either
It’s not just the future of the relationship he’s disinterested in, it’s also yours. If you plan to go back to school, you won’t get words of encouragement. If you want to save up for a new car, he’s not happy for you. If a boyfriend seems disinterested in every future plan that you have, it’s a sign that he’s never going to marry you. He’s not interested because he doesn’t see you in the future.
14. He Doesn’t Invite You Out
When a guy doesn’t want to commit, he’s not going to want to marry you either. If he doesn’t invite you to meet his family, friends, or even to a work function, you aren’t in the relationship that you think you are. This guy is more than likely using you like a side piece, hiding something, or simply is not admitting he’s in a relationship. If you have never met anyone involved in his life, that’s not only a sign he isn’t going to pop the question, it’s a huge red flag for the relationship.
Signs He Wants To Marry You
If your boyfriend is showing one or two of the signs above, he might not want to marry. On the other hand, he could just be uncomfortable with that particular aspect of the relationship and still want to marry you. See if he’s displaying any of these signs of wanting to get married.
1. He Tells You
If a man wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he will open up eventually and simply tell you “I want to marry you.” Every man won’t be this bold, but as time progresses they should open up and say something along those lines. It may also simply be that they want to spend the rest of their life with you.
2. He Mentions Weddings
Just like girls, guys will drop hints before they pop the question, especially if they aren’t picking up on your hints. He won’t want to pop the big question and spend hundreds on a ring for you to say no. Instead, he might mention weddings, getting a house together, or casually refer to you as his wife to see how you react. This is an indicator as to whether you’ll say yes.
3. He Mentions The Future
If he’s trying to determine whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he might start by asking questions about your views, such as how you feel about having three children. He might mention kids in other ways, like asking if you want kids later on down the line. He’s not trying to pressure you into having kids, but simply trying to see if you’re on the same page as he is.
4. He Makes It Known You’re A Couple
If he wants you to have his last name, he’ll make it known to the world that you are going to be his wife. He’ll introduce you as his girlfriend or fiance. He’ll mention you in comments on social media. Every family member and friend will know that you two are going to be together for a long time.
5. He Cares About Serious Issues
Instead of avoiding topics, such as a career change, he’ll want to discuss them with you. He’ll ask for your perspective on a major change in his own life too. Guys that are only interested in the fun will run from these discussions, but not a guy who wants to tie the knot. He’ll care in a way that makes him seem almost possessive, but it’s because what has an impact on your life will also affect his life. He views your problems as his own too. This can take some time to get used to, but it’s well worth it once you do.
6. He’s Comfortable With Being Married
Some men are instant ones to gag at the thought of another wedding, including their own. They make offhanded comments if they are so much as invited to one. If your guy is comfortable with being a groom, he’ll be the opposite. He will never object to the conversation, will RSVP the invitation, and will even mention it in his future, like saying “when I get married it will be…” This is because he’s already thought about it.
If he’s married, he might be wearing a ring, will only see you during certain times (more than likely because that’s when his wife is gone), and won’t answer his phone around you. His phone will be strictly off-limits to you. He doesn’t want you to discover his wife.
If you are both invested in one another emotionally, physically, and spiritually to the point that you connect on a level you never imagined possible. If you find a man that treats you wonderfully, that will make it through the storms with you, and that brings you cappuccino in bed.
Not only will you get to spend the rest of your life with the person you love, but you will also enjoy having less stress, better health, and less financial troubles. You’ll also have more affection, better mental health overall and can get a few tax breaks.
Simply search the clerk of courts website online in the county that you were registered in. These records are public records, but you’ll need basic information, such as full names, date of birth, county the couple was married in, and possibly more.
Watch for red flags that someone is cheating, such as them hiding their phone, being gone at odd hours, or suddenly having a new friend that makes them smile at their phone. Guys will treat you differently when they are cheating.
If your man wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he’ll let you know. Have you ever been stuck wondering whether your relationship is headed down the aisle? What signs did you look for, or how did you figure it out?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.