Most people will admit how easy it is to tell when they are into someone. It's also not so hard figuring out if you want a relationship with someone; in fact, that's the easier part. It may be a bit more complicated when trying to figure out if that guy also wants a relationship. No doubt, too many women have hung around men who have no interest in being in an actual relationship, and that’s really unfortunate.
However, there’s no need hanging around someone who will just end up wasting your time and never really committing to anything serious. Every woman who wants a relationship that's leading somewhere deserves a man who feels the same way.
That said; it’s clear you’re here because you are still wondering, “if he really likes me”. I mean, if we have to ask this question in the first place, it probably is the first sign he doesn't want a relationship. Aside from that general fact, there are other sure ways to tell if that guy mirrors your feelings. This will save you the time of pursuing something that has no potential or future.
- 1 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
- 1.1 1. He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Get To Know You
- 1.2 2. Dating Without Labels
- 1.3 3. He Shuts Down Introducing You To Family/Friends
- 1.4 4. They Have Unresolved Feelings For An Ex
- 1.5 5. The Conversation Is Very Basic
- 1.6 6. He Blows You Off Too Often
- 1.7 7. He’s Not A ‘No’ Man, But He Isn’t A ‘Yes’ Man Either
- 1.8 8. He Mostly Texts You
- 1.9 9. He Doesn’t Compromise
- 1.10 10. He Doesn’t Really Want To Hang
- 1.11 11. He’s Not Consistent
- 1.12 12. Isn’t Very Pleased When You Criticize Him
- 1.13 13. He Says He Doesn’t Want A Relationship
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Things Up
Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
They say the truth is bitter, but most times, that bitter truth is the only thing that can liberate us from a bad relationship. Instead of lying in bed through the night brainstorming on how to win over someone that is showing signs he doesn’t love you, it’s best to liberate yourself and be open to someone who really wants to be with you.
With no further ado, we'll explore some of the signs that should tell if that guy is at least 70% all into being with you for the long haul.
1. He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Get To Know You
A guy that loves you would want to know what makes you tick, the things you love, and maybe even your aspirations. It's not rocket science, a guy who acts uninterested in your affairs, and practically zones off when the conversations switch to something about you, that’s a red flag!
A guy should want to spend time knowing you in and out, especially if he’s thinking about pursuing a long term relationship. He’ll put in extra effort to listen and remember the things that mean much to you. If he's not doing that and feels distant and unavailable when you talk, that could be one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
2. Dating Without Labels
This has to be one of the oldest tricks in the book, a very dangerous playing card that wins the bet almost too easily. You see, as women, we don't want to seem pushy, needy, or desperate, so when a guy keeps telling a lady not to put labels on the relationship just yet, sometimes, we fall for it.
A guy who puts off calling what both of you have, an actual relationship, probably isn't interested in having one in the first place. They say, “let's just see where this goes,” or, “let's not call it anything just yet; we should just have fun and flow into it.” As harsh as this sounds, the only thing that would be flowing is a river of tears after you find out the guy was simply wasting your time.
3. He Shuts Down Introducing You To Family/Friends
A man who is in love will want the people who matter to him to know he’s with someone. After all, love isn’t something to hide; even a man who is an introvert would at least want his friends to know his girl, except his hiding it on purpose. This is the thing, a guy only introduces a girl to his family if he’s serious about pursuing a relationship; it may not always be the case, but it mostly is.
Convincing yourself that he’s just waiting for the right time will only waste the love and affections being showered on a man that doesn’t want anything serious. A man who is after a relationship would commit in some way, no matter how small. And if you're introduced to his friends and family as his girlfriend, they'll keep asking about you and keep their hopes up. Certainly, a guy won't do that if he's not planning on getting into a serious relationship.
4. They Have Unresolved Feelings For An Ex
‘The case of the ex,' is almost always a deal-breaker. It's important to know how long it has been since the man you're dating was in a relationship. This is supposed to rule out the possibilities of you being in a rebound situation. Even though time doesn't determine if a guy has gotten over his ex, it could tell if he is ready to get with someone else
If he is still stalking her social media pages, talking about her with close family and friends, or still freezes when he sees her, or when her name is mentioned, that man is not over his ex. And although it's okay to sit down wishing he'll simply get over it, that's up to him, and not you. Plus, it's unlikely for men who have unresolved feelings for their ex's to move on, because inside, they are probably hoping they'll get back together with ‘her.'
5. The Conversation Is Very Basic
If we are honest with ourselves as women, we know when a man is unavailable during a conversation. It's not one of the best feelings when you're passionately talking about something, and the other party is unapologetically ‘absent from the conversation.' The only way that man can really get to know you is if he puts effort into having meaningful conversations regularly.
If he likes you, he won't just listen, but he'll talk, smile, laugh and joke along with you. And even though he doesn't like talking much, he'll find a special way to connect with you aside sex, which will make you feel heard.
6. He Blows You Off Too Often
Everyone is busy; okay, maybe not everyone, but a lot of people have so many things on their plate. So it can be a real bummer when a guy makes it his duty to cancel at the last minute, or not even show up when he promised to. It just shows where his mind is at, and I can bet it's not on you.
One other sign he loves you is the time he's willing to spend with you regularly, no matter how busy his day is. If there is no reasonable work or family reason he can't spend time with you, then maybe he doesn't deserve the time of the day.
7. He’s Not A ‘No’ Man, But He Isn’t A ‘Yes’ Man Either
Oh, these types of men can be a real pain in you know where! They are neither here or there when it comes to real commitment. It's like an art or secret subject they learn in school, ‘how to avoid commitments 101.' It might be funny and meaningless to them, but if you're reading this, then his stand matters a lot to you.
Such men know how to avoid talking about the topic of ‘if he does want a relationship’ skillfully, and when you ask them, they start using sophisticated lingo to change the topic or diffuse the tension. And instead of coming out straight to say they don't want to be with you, they'll keep beating about the bush for as long as possible or might even pull out the ‘let’s be friends’ tag.
No, most of them are not confused, they just want to keep ‘getting it' until they are ready to call it quits, which is pretty pathetic.
8. He Mostly Texts You
I know that some of us have had a good experience with the category of men I'd like to call ‘the texters.’ These men never really try to make out time to take you on a date, maybe hang out after work, or even get drinks with some mutual friends. They only text occasionally, mostly in the night, probably for some heated phone sex.
A man in this category has no real plans to be with someone and does not want a relationship, especially if nothing about him is insinuating it. Maybe you feel like you should be satisfied with the mere fact that a guy is talking to you, but what's the point of those talks are not leading to the relationship you really want?
9. He Doesn’t Compromise
One thing is certain; if a guy likes you and does want a relationship, he will try to be reasonable. All the signs will be there like taking your feelings, wants, needs, or wishes into consideration before taking action. Relationships thrive on compromise; both parties have to consider the other person's opinions and feelings if there's any love between them.
One person can’t always be the one taking the fall, or shrinking in so the other can blossom, there have to be mutual agreements, and if that’s not happening, it’s not a healthy relationship. It’s also a sign the guy doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.
10. He Doesn’t Really Want To Hang
Okay, so let's just imagine a general scenario where a man would only call someone he says he likes, around 10, or 11 pm, asking to come over. Well, I think we all know that's not a relationship, it's a booty call. If he wants more than those intense minutes under the sheets, he’ll put effort into spending time with you during the day, or at the ‘holy’ hours of the evening.
No doubt, sex is a vital part of a relationship, but if that's all he wants, that ‘situation-ship’ won’t really take you far. A serious person would want to get to know you outside the sheets, actually become friends and lovers, because that’s what makes a balanced, healthy, loving relationship.
11. He’s Not Consistent
A lot of women who think they are in relationships are actually not. Like some would say ‘… you're in a relationship with yourself.' What am I talking about? Those men that are there when everything is fun and daisy, but bail the second things go sour. It could be as simple as being on your period, being in a mood, or as serious as losing a loved one.
If the guy you are dating isn't available when you need him, then I think he's secretly saying he doesn't want anything serious. Someone who cares for you won't need to be asked to come over when you're feeling down and confused; he'll put in his best efforts to be there.
Clearly, dating a person that doesn't want you and who won’t put you as a priority will only hurt you and waste your time, so it's better to call it quits now, and be open to someone who will care about you as much as you care for them.
12. Isn’t Very Pleased When You Criticize Him
Don't get me wrong; there are men who don't like criticism in general, but here's the thing, some guys only stick around for what they are getting from the ‘relationship.' Sometimes, that could simply be the unfiltered attention and compliments he receives way too often. A man wants a place of comfort and also someone that would boost his ego. If that's you, he'll probably still stick around even though he doesn't want a relationship.
So basically, he's more in love with the attention he's receiving than the actual person that's giving it. You'll also notice that when you tell him nice things, he's giddy and would probably text more often to get a little dose of that positivity and kindness. On the other hand, when you start pointing out his shortcomings, he flares up and stays away.
13. He Says He Doesn’t Want A Relationship
So, this is one major sign people take for granted, and when you think about it, it doesn't really make sense. Some men have their lady wrapped around their finger so tight; they won't take a hint when they see one. On the other hand, some other men actually come out and admit they don’t want a relationship, but the woman thinks she can do something to fix that.
As a person, you can't decide for the other person, no matter how much time and effort you have put into a relationship, you have to learn to let go when that man says he doesn't want a relationship anymore. It may sound very hard, but time heals all wounds, and soon enough, someone who knows how to love and treasure you, will definitely come your way.
We can rely on our instincts, and some general signs to tell if a man wants a relationship. His availability, or the effort to spend time with you, or even how he treats you will tell if he actually loves you, or is just playing around for the meantime.
It takes two to tango, that means a relationship cannot be built on just one person's efforts. It is your choice to decide to either cut him off for good or remain friends with him. This is sure though, the best you can do is say a big bye to such a relationship, and focus on yourself for a little bit.
A lot of people who are confused about their love life already have the answers, but a little more knowledge never hurt anybody. This is the thing; if you feel like he doesn't like you enough to commit, he probably doesn't. A man who wants a relationship will show it, and if he isn't, it's time to focus your energy on someone else who will.
There are common signs ‘he' loves you, it's easy to tell from how he behaves around you, how much time he wants to spend with you, and basically how he treats you. A man who loves you won't want to hide you, and he won't shove off spending quality hours with you either.
A man that wants to be in a relationship will make the necessary moves to establish that. He’ll talk to you about it, put a lot of effort into knowing you, and probably try to get involved with the family on both sides.
To Sum Things Up
Time is something a lot of men play with, they don’t realize how precious it is, so a man can end up stringing a woman along for years without any intention to commit, which is sad. It is up to us as strong women to know when a man isn't in it for the long haul, and cut such relationships off when we notice all the signs, no matter how hard it is.
I have poured out all my knowledge on this matter, and I honestly hope you not only enjoyed it, but it helped in some way. If it has, leave a comment below and share this with a friend who may be going through the same dilemma.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.