Married men should be off-limits, but they do give off a ‘forbidden fruit’ vibe. As a new or old wife, it is one thing to accept that some young and attractive woman may be ogling your man. It is another to actually notice signs a woman is flirting with your husband. No matter how secure you are in a relationship, it is easy to feel a bit threatened when this happens.
The annoying thing about flirting is that it's often subtle. Women veil their intentions, especially when it comes to a married man. So, how do you know for sure that an over-friendly co-worker isn’t simply being friendly? Or is his female gym buddy isn’t simply helping him get the right number of reps? I can help you there. Here are some signs that a woman is flirting with your husband.
- 0.1 23 Signs A Woman Is Flirting With Your Husband
- 0.1.1 1. She is always paying him compliments
- 0.1.2 2. She calls and texts at odd hours
- 0.1.3 3. She is not keen on being friends with you
- 0.1.4 4. Her dressing is unnaturally revealing around him
- 0.1.5 5. She is always there
- 0.1.6 6. She tries to be like you
- 0.1.7 7. She is always trying to one-up you
- 0.1.8 8. She is always complaining about her failed love life
- 0.1.9 9. She also tries to make him jealous
- 0.1.10 10. She is always there to listen when you have a falling out with your husband
- 0.1.11 11. She cannot stand you
- 0.1.12 12. Your husband downplays their relationship
- 0.1.13 13. She cannot keep her hands to herself
- 0.1.14 14. They are bosom buddies on social media
- 0.1.15 15. She sends subtle hints his way
- 0.1.16 16. She overshares
- 0.1.17 17. She tells other people she wants him
- 0.1.18 18. She pays keen attention to him
- 0.1.19 19. You just know it
- 0.1.20 20. She has the same likes and dislikes
- 0.1.21 21. She will feed him
- 0.1.22 22. She may try to instigate drama
- 0.1.23 23. She will feign ignorance
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 The Bottomline
23 Signs A Woman Is Flirting With Your Husband
1. She is always paying him compliments
Men love compliments. In fact, everyone loves compliments and that is why it is a common part of the flirting game. A woman that wants your man will look for any opportunity to compliment your husband’s physical qualities and even his personality. Obviously, it is not wrong to have good things to say about someone else.
But when it gets a little too much, it is evident that the aim is to inflate his ego. She may even go as far as to make him feel sexually desirable. Though this is harmless for some people, if your husband is insecure he may take the bait. Altogether, if she is not frugal with the compliments, that is a red flag.
2. She calls and texts at odd hours
There is this unspoken rule that calling someone too late at night is downright rude. Unless it is an emergency, no one should be hitting your husband up late at night or early morning hours. So, if that lady does it anyway, then that is a clear sign she is flirting. No one is that confident unless they have some hidden intentions.
If you snoop around a little, you'd find that she has nothing of great importance to share. It goes from one sob story to another so she can gain some pity and later on turn it into affection. Talking to another woman and offering her occasional advice isn't wrong. But there's a thin line between being her shoulder to cry on and becoming a nice body to hump.
3. She is not keen on being friends with you
Being a married man does not mean you can't have female friends. After all, most men probably grew up having female friends and that spilled over into their adulthood. But once you're a couple, the dynamics of opposite sex relationships change. He may meet the occasional co-worker and click, but to some extent, she should want to be cordial with you.
If she absolutely wants nothing to do with you, that's conversation-worthy. This is one sign you should not ignore, talk to your husband about your concerns because he may not see it. Consider it a problem till your husband tells you otherwise.
4. Her dressing is unnaturally revealing around him
Some people wear revealing clothes, that's their thing. But if this lady switches up her entire wardrobe when your man is around that is a reason to raise an eyebrow. Sure, he is your husband, but he is a man first. It is no secret that men are visual, so it is equally no surprise that someone who’s attracted to him would parade herself half-naked.
She may not even go for the super obvious half-naked angle. Some women simply dress a lot better when they know their prey is in sight. They bathe in stimulating fragrances and wait for the right moment to pounce. Does this sound familiar? Then that lady may very well be flirting with your husband.
5. She is always there
Some women take the extra mile when it comes to flirting. Does this sound familiar? She is either always at his office or grabbing a bite to eat with him on his break. She bumps into both of you when you are out together. If she even comes over to your house, then it has reached critical levels.
She makes an attempt to saturate your husband with your man and form some sort of symbiotic relationship. If that is the case then you do not need a gut feeling to tell you that she wants an intimate relationship with him.
6. She tries to be like you
When women fall for married men, they know that the wife is the prototype. She is the one to beat and even emulate. As such, it is often their first instinct to start behaving like the wife, even in the subtlest ways. She may start to talk like you do or adopt some of your mannerisms just to give him something familiar. Even more, she may start learning how to cook like you or simply dress like you.
I reckon that this is the logic behind that. Your husband may not feel comfortable being with another woman. But what if that other woman is practically his wife, right? I know it sounds crazy, but it is a school of thought when it comes to these things.
7. She is always trying to one-up you
No matter how good your relationship with your husband is, there will be aspects where you fall short. If little Miss Flirty pants knows any areas where you fall short, she will try to be better in that aspect. If you do not cook often, she will pull out her Gordon Ramsey apron. Likewise, if you are not the emotional type, she will try to fill that void.
It even goes beyond things that are lacking in your relationship, she may simply just try to show how she is better than you. If you have a bachelor's degree, she will show off her master’s degree. Altogether, she will look for ways to show your husband how she is the superior woman. This can become a toxic cold war, so nip this one in the bud before it ruins your marriage.
8. She is always complaining about her failed love life
In some cases, flirting goes far beyond light conversation and calls at odd hours. The predator looks for ways to endear herself to her prey. She wants him to see her as a person he needs to look out for. So, if she somehow seems like she is always on the wrong side of love, it may pique your man’s interest.
This is especially true if he has a bit of a savior complex. She will always run to him when a guy she was interested in suddenly wronged her. Even more, she may coyly keep telling him how she wishes she could meet a man exactly like him. If you do not sit your man down and have a conversation about this, it may ruin your marriage. Let him know that the flirting is getting a bit too aggressive.
9. She also tries to make him jealous
The truth is that you and your husband need to brace yourself for an emotional rollercoaster when this kind of flirting is involved. Not only does this woman complain about the men she dates. She also parades them in front of your husband hoping that he will get jealous or, at the very least, protective.
Who knows, maybe she purposely brings the bad boy types around to ensure he tries to talk her out of it. In the process, she will definitely end up making you quite uncomfortable.
Let’s say you are at a party and she brings a date. She will end up steering the conversation in her beau’s direction. She will also laugh a little too loudly at his jokes and watch intently to see if your husband is interested in the whole display. It seems like senseless flirting doesn’t it? Well, besides it being annoying, your husband may actually fall for it. So, here is another sign of interest to nip in the bud.
10. She is always there to listen when you have a falling out with your husband
All couples have disagreements, that is just how life is. You cannot be on the same page all the time. The same way you probably vent to your closest girlfriend about his excesses, he’s probably venting to someone. If that person is flirting with him, then best believe that she will milk the entire situation. She will pretend to be interested in the well-being of your relationship when she’s actually there for herself.
This kind of lady probably calls herself his ‘bestie’ and always swoops in like the perfect human when you slip up. In this regard, you need to have a conversation with your husband. Establish clear boundaries on who constitutes an actual shoulder to lean on.
11. She cannot stand you
Obviously, any lady flirting with your man does not want to braid your hair and become best friends. You are the competition and she would very much prefer to hang out with your man. If you bump into each other at events, of course, she will exchange pleasantries. But you will just know in your heart that she does not particularly like you.
She may avoid you for the most part and even try to exclude you from group conversations. After all, you are the only thing standing between her and the object of all her flirting. So, this is one major sign to look out for. It's a no-brainer once she clearly does not like her.
12. Your husband downplays their relationship
Now here is where it gets a bit dicey. Here is this person that is obviously interested in your man. Then your husband calls her ‘just one of the guys.’ You man was not born yesterday, he knows what this lady is doing. He may even like all the attention and want to keep her around for a little ego-stroking now and then.
At the same time, he may not want you to worry about the situation since he has no romantic intentions. With that in mind, he may downplay the whole relationship for peace's sake.
13. She cannot keep her hands to herself
Some people gesticulate and touch others a lot while they talk. But there is a point where it becomes too much. If you notice that she is always looking for excuses to hug him, rub his arm or wipe something off his face, then she’s flirting. What she wants to do is quite simple in this case.
She is trying to let him know that she is interested in him with the hopes that he’ll oblige her. If you notice this, talk to your husband about it.
Sometimes it is easy to write off social media connections as harmless. But many-a-marriage have been wrecked virtually. That is why some calculated flirts move to the virtual space to chase their prey. She will use this platform to stroke his ego, comment on his appearance, achievements, and any source of pride.
You need to proactively get ahead of this one. It is even more dangerous for her to have access to him on social media. Why? Well, they can talk all the time, they do not need to wait till they cross paths physically.
15. She sends subtle hints his way
This temptress may not straight out tell him that she is attracted to him, but there are ways to hint at the obvious. To do this, she may say things like, ‘I wish my ex was more like you.’ Not only does this establish that she is single, but it also plants a seed in his head. At the very least, he will know that she likes him romantically.
So, if he is caught in a weak moment with her, it will be easier for him to justify his fall.
The phrase “too much information” was invented for this particular point. Sure, some people are super open and share a lot, but probably with close friends. If she shares intimate details about her sexual life or family issues, then she is sniffing around for something. She may go as far as to treat him like a gay best friend, feigning ignorance when she takes off her top in front of him or asking for fashion advice.
All this is in a bid to keep his eyes on her body, then eventually get into his pants.
17. She tells other people she wants him
Unless she is a bit off the rails, she probably will not tell you she wants your man. But she may let it slip to others that she has a crush on him. The next thing you know, there will be rumors out there that she wants to get down and dirty with your husband. Though these are oftentimes just rumors, they had to have come from somewhere. It may not all be true, but a part of it is based on hard facts.
18. She pays keen attention to him
Picture this, you are at a public gathering, mingling and being charming. Suddenly, you notice that there is this young lady positively hanging on to every word out of your man’s mouth. That is not completely weird though, he is an interesting guy. But, she’s following him around and even alienating others.
If this sounds familiar, it is clear that she is attracted to him. So keep an eye on that one because men like all that doting.
19. You just know it
Call it intuition or a gut feeling, one thing's for sure. Most times when you suspect something, your mind is making stuff up. If you cannot shake off the feeling that this lady is dangerously flirting with your man, it is probably true. Trust your instincts, and act before things get out of hand. As paranoid as people are when it comes to their partner, you always know when something is amiss.
20. She has the same likes and dislikes
As much as people encourage being true to oneself, having the same likes and dislikes bonds people. So, if she mysteriously likes the same things your man does, that is a sign that she is flirting. She is simply trying to fit into his world and form a connection.
21. She will feed him
Have you heard the saying that the way to man’s heart is through his belly? Well, it is rooted in truth. She may not necessarily cook for him, but she will bring him muffins, coffee, brunch, and anything he likes. It's just a way of establishing herself as a source of nourishment and treats.
22. She may try to instigate drama
If you notice that she is a constant in all your recent drama, then that may not be a coincidence. This lady may be strategically digging up points of contention to drive a wedge between you and your husband. Do not sleep on this one, it can cause a lot of damage in a short time.
23. She will feign ignorance
If you do get upset enough to confront her, best believe that she will not be very forthcoming with the confessions. She will put on her nice girl panties and reassure you that she is simply a friend. Yes, there are many ways to flirt, but at the end of the day, strategies are similar. If you recognize some of the things you did when you just met your man, that is a clear sign that she is overstepping.
First of all, she won’t be able to keep her hands off him. She will be super touchy-feely, even when it's not necessary. Additionally, she’ll constantly look for excuses to pour out her feelings to him. It could be about an old boyfriend or a new love interest that has suddenly gone sour.
Sometimes it starts with a simple gut feeling, let’s call it female intuition. But the most evident signs are if she is overly affectionate and constantly sends him text messages. She may even tell other people that she is interested in your man. Even more, she may attempt to tarnish your image.
This depends on pre-existing boundaries set in the marriage. Some couples are not offended if the flirting is kosher. Others do not even want their partners to look at someone of the opposite sex. But, as long as it does not encroach on the territory of emotional or sexual cheating.
The signs that your husband is in love with another woman are never straightforward. For one, he may start bombarding you with attention or even withholding it. He may seem a bit nervous and even jumpy when you are around him. Even more, he may start paying a lot more attention to his grooming and personal style.
They find it attractive when their wives are genuinely attracted to them. They want to know that their significant other is as interested in them as they are. A man just wants to feel special, valued, and respected in his marriage. If his wife reciprocates his feelings, then he is ready to go the extra mile.
The thought that your husband could one day slip through your fingers is a scary one. The road to the arms of another woman begins somewhere. In most cases, flirting is the first step to everything unraveling. Hopefully, with the above signs, you should be able to notice any actual red flags. Do you have other takes on this issue? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below. Also, share this with anyone who needs to see this.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.