The great and sometimes confusing thing about humans is how we can do one thing and mean something else. So, pulling a girl's pigtails on the playground could mean you like her. Likewise, turning down a man's advances repeatedly could mean you like him. It’s a whirlwind of yes’s that mean no and vice versa.
In fact, when looking for signs a guy is jealous and likes you, bear in mind, it’s just as tasking as trying to figure out how to know if you like a guy. But in most cases, the green-eyed demon of jealousy comes in a more direct way. On the other hand, there are some other signs you need to bring out the Sherlock Holmes to suss out.
If your man has been showing some weird signs lately, then I am about to lay down some wisdom in that respect. This is a very delicate ground and should be tread on quite carefully. In that vein, let’s jump right in, here are some signs he likes you and he is jealous.
- 1 Signs A Guy Is Jealous And Likes You
- 1.1 1. The occasional silent treatment
- 1.2 2. He acts different
- 1.3 3. He always wants to have the last laugh
- 1.4 4. His energy levels change when you talk about other men
- 1.5 5. He only flirts when he thinks you’re watching
- 1.6 6. He hates that you have a life outside him
- 1.7 7. He’s rude to your male friends
- 1.8 8. He becomes your shadow
- 1.9 9. His eyes are always on you
- 1.10 10. He feigns aloofness
- 1.11 11. He’s incredibly passive-aggressive
- 1.12 12. He freaks out when communication isn’t instant
- 1.13 13. He becomes too sweet
- 1.14 14. He gets angry
- 1.15 15. He’s glad when your love life is in shambles
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Lastly…
Signs A Guy Is Jealous And Likes You
1. The occasional silent treatment
As I said, human beings are just bundles of confusion, so you’d expect a guy to kiss up to you if he likes you. That’s quite the opposite in some cases, a jealous guy will try to play some mind games. If he’s coming from an insecure stance, then he may ignore you when he’s hurt or gives you the silent treatment.
So, if you went out for drinks with friends and all of a sudden, he’s not talking to you. The worse part of it is if you genuinely did not see it coming. Nevertheless, that’s basically a sign that a guy is jealous. He probably does not know how to process his feelings altogether. So, do not write him off as a troubled person just like that.
It’s true that no same person will love to feel jealous every once in a while. On the other hand, you need to be wary of this type of behavior, it shows a level of insecurity and toxicity that you may not really like.
2. He acts different
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who changes his attitude as much as you change your bra? You know what I’m talking about, we have all seen it. Guys do that sometimes when they are jealous. Let’s say the object of their jealousy is a tough, macho guy. They may try to act that way because they feel that’s what rocks your boat. The same goes for when they feel you like a smooth, sensitive guy.
So, if you wake up in the morning and you’re suddenly sleeping next to Clint Eastwood, or the Terminator, it's time to have a talk. Again, this stems from a place of insecurity. He might be doing this for a good reason, but most likely, he feels threatened that you will soon fall in love with another guy, or he’s about to become your ex-boyfriend in a second and you need to be ready to nip this in the bud if it's untrue.
3. He always wants to have the last laugh
If you find yourself in a relationship where someone is constantly trying to one-up other guys, then something is terribly wrong. In this case, he’s probably trying to impress you and is going about it the wrong way. What makes it even worse is if he isn’t your boyfriend yet or someone who has fallen in love with; so, it's basically, a sign that he is vying for your attention.
So, let’s say you go out as a group of friends and he insists on paying all the bills. Or showers you with ridiculously expensive gifts, then you need to look a bit closer. It may not be a function of the goodness of his heart, it could be some good old fashioned jealousy at work. Trust me, men are complicated creatures; even though they like to make it look like we have a monopoly on that.
So, once you notice that all the primping up and trying to impress you is an act, you need to nip it in the bud. Feeling a twinge here and there is one thing, but maxing out his card is a whole other ball game.
4. His energy levels change when you talk about other men
When a guy is jealous, for the most part, irrationality flies out the window. Once you mention that cute guy you love chatting with at the store or an old flame that came into town, it’ll be like someone or something sucked all the joy out of the room.
If you are looking for signs that he likes you, then this is really obvious. He may try to put his poker face to use, but emotions seep through in little bits. What’s more, his words may not be an indicator, but expressions never lie at all.
If he really wants to take it to the extreme, then he will probably shut down entirely. His silence is more than enough to prove that he’s battling with some emotions within. And in the case,
that he’s not into you in a romantic way, he will be happy for you and it will show. He will be interested and genuinely want to know a lot more about the new guy in question.
5. He only flirts when he thinks you’re watching
Do you know what’s even worse about these next signs? In the case that you were not around while he was flirting, then he will fill you in on it when he sees you. It's not only a sign that he likes you, but it also shows he is jealous.
You know that he’s really into you when he feels the need to make you jealous as well. It's something many jealous people do. In fact, it’s a way to show you’re not the only option that he has. Yes, it's nothing short of a sick and twisted plan, but then again, it is a general thing human beings do – which also comes in the form of a jealous man.
You may be telling him about your boyfriend with no spite in your heart, but he certainly does not take it that way. So, this is just his way of saying that he can find someone else two times as fast as you can. In a nutshell, the guy is jealous and you need to carefully navigate this situation.
6. He hates that you have a life outside him
The unfortunate thing about jealous men is the fact that they always have an ugly side. Whether he is a boyfriend, an ex or a friend, you definitely have a life outside him. The thought of you enjoying life beyond his presence is something that infuriates him and that’s a bit scary. The motivation behind this is that he is a bit on the possessive side.
The point of no return is when jealous men so things that seem a bit too possessive. Sure, there are instances where a jealous guy might be feeling nervous and simply does not know how to act. But, there is a thin line between jealousy and a lot of negative emotions. If the guy is jealous, he may even go as far as light stalking.
If he cannot do it on his own, he may start asking common friends about your whereabouts. At this point, you need to start looking for ways to manage the situation because he is likely one of those jealous men who clearly do not have their emotions under wraps.
7. He’s rude to your male friends
It’s the 21st Century and girls and guys can hang out as friends. So, if you are one of those people who have a handful of male friends, things could get tricky with a guy who likes you. He may not enjoy the notion that another guy is close to you.
At that point, it may all get a little too juvenile for you. Mostly because he’s going to be mean to anyone who poses a threat to the relationship he wants to build with you. Yup, once a guy is jealous, the claws come out.
Even though he has no reason to feel threatened by these totally platonic friends of yours, you’ll notice an underlying layer of bad behavior. According to G Clanton, jealousy is the way we protect valued relationships, so this isn’t out of the question.
To him, you are spending too much time giving away attention to another guy which you should be pouring on him. So, when you notice somewhat catty behavior, such as snide remarks, it's time to figure out what’s happening. For the most part, this guy likes you and is jealous of anyone you pay attention to.
8. He becomes your shadow
So, you met this guy and he’s super fun and cool. As such, you do not mind hanging out with him and the rest of the gang. I mean, it's always great to have positive vibes around you. After all, no one jumps into anything expecting jealousy to rear its ugly head.
Then things get really weird when he suddenly follows you everywhere. By everywhere, I equally mean to places he wasn’t supposed to know you’d be at. For one, you could mistakenly bump into him at church, then the next thing, he’s at your local coffee shop before you. Who knows? You may not mind, after all, this guy is pleasant and does not give off that creepy vibe.
But, we are human and even twins don’t spend all their time together. You asking for space may trigger some jealousy. He may get the idea that you want to be alone because there is someone else. For the most part, he’s acting irrationally because he has solid feelings for you. Nevertheless, it’s wise to always wise to keep such behavior in check, and look out for any bad signs; in case he fits the profile of those abnormally creepy jealous guys.
9. His eyes are always on you
It's cute when a guy cannot take his eyes off you, right? For one, it's an obvious sign that he likes you. It honestly does not matter where you are; at the office, on the subway, on the street, he has those eyes planted. For the most part, this is common with men that like you but do not know how to act on their feelings. As such, all they can do is watch you closely and hope for the best.
In addition, this is also how he keeps tabs on you. Sure he may not know how to approach you himself, but he does not want any other person to do the same. He basically wants to see if you are still in the market so he can plan how to make his move. In some cases, this is cute, but there are definitely some stalkerish undertones to it. All in all, it is a sign that he likes you a lot. Whether jealously creeps in or not is a story for another day.
10. He feigns aloofness
There is only so much a person can do since, for the most part, we have control over our actions. So, if the man in question cannot control who you talk to or where you go, best believe he is going to feign disinterest. Of course, he is probably still interested in you, but what more can he do?
So, when you’re having a great time with people he probably considers a threat, you’ll notice that he fades into the background. It's not a bad tactic in my book, it's generally better than starting a fight or spending his resources trying to outdo them. But, it does involve him stifling his emotions so that peace can reign for everyone besides himself.
So, if you notice that he quiets down while the group is roaring or does not say much, then he’s probably taken a step back. It may not be very proactive, but this is a sure sign of jealousy. His emotions are still there, but he would rather ignore them and you in the process.
11. He’s incredibly passive-aggressive
This is somewhat related to the previous point, after all, nothing is more passive-aggressive than blocking everyone out. This is one attitude that’s a lot louder than others. To be fair the poor guy, we all have those moments where we don’s say what we mean without words.
It’s a lot easier to drop a snide remark and look snooty for the rest of the day. You might notice this type of behavior when a guy likes you and is fed up that you can’t see it. Sure, he’s not being particularly proactive, but we can’t all be perfect.
So, if he does not have much to say when you’re speaking to other men, or generally living your life, he’s probably seething with jealousy. For the most part, this is quite juvenile, but as I said before, we can’t all be 100%. This childishness needs to stop though, so, find the best method to get him to express his feelings using words.
12. He freaks out when communication isn’t instant
You may feel like this is a little too much, but as they say, all is fair in love and war. If this man likes you and is equally jealous, he will have some odd ways of showing it. This can include losing it when he can’t get a hold of you. Sure, he’s not your boyfriend, but he wants you to answer or return his text right away.
Maybe in la-la land, it's possible to pick calls and reply messages immediately. But in the real world, we have things to do besides tapping away at our phones. For the most part, people understand this, but a jealous guy will not think this way.
So, if you notice that he gets a bit riled up when you don’t get back to him immediately, there’s something wrong. He may not really have any claim to you, but jealousy really has no chill. In this case, you need to really sit him down and get to the bottom of it all.
13. He becomes too sweet
Has anyone ever been so sweet you practically got diabetes by hanging around them? Well, a jealous man can act that way and do it right. So, picture this, you have this friend who has pretty much been normal around you. All of a sudden, he switches it up and acts a bit too nice for your liking.
This is suspect and if you take a closer look, you’ll realize that he is jealous. If you can trace the timeline properly, then you’ll find that he probably saw you with some guys. They may not necessarily be a threat to him or anyone for that matter, but that’s the way jealousy works.
It's even worse when he isn’t typically the lovey-dovey type because you can smell a dead rat right out of the box. This is another situation where you have to sit him down and figure out how to move forward.
14. He gets angry
Anger and violence are more signs you want to be wary of; no one likes an angry or violent outburst. But sometimes, this is a by-product of jealousy. Some men do not know how to keep their emotions under wraps and though they are sweet, they get upset when you pay attention to other men.
Sure, you do not have to explain yourself to anyone, especially if he is not your boyfriend. But, some guys make you feel like you owe them an explanation. Now, this is the manipulative face of jealousy and it's hard to deal with altogether. So, if he suddenly flares up because you are hanging out with someone new. It's time to sort things out before things get full-on violent.
15. He’s glad when your love life is in shambles
This honestly does not sound as bad as the caption; but if this guy is just a friend, he probably will not come out and laugh at you when you’re heartbroken. But, there will be an air of relief, probably because he has the chance to shoot his shot. His body language is all the proof you need that he is glad you’re single and the two of you are ready to mingle.
To be fair, you may not be ready to read in between the lines right after a breakup. But, if he likes you, you’ll sense that relief. He may even straight-up take that opportunity to tell you how he feels.
When guys are jealous, it pretty much has the same meaning as when women are jealous. At the base of it all, it means that there are emotions there. No one can be jealous if they do not have any feelings for you. Nevertheless, when it gets on the tricky side, it points to some underlying insecurities. Maybe, he went through heartbreak before or his parents had similar problems.
He takes a keen interest in you for the most part and everything you do suddenly becomes more intriguing. In a nutshell, he does not mind showering you with attention even though it disrupts his routine. If you any of these signs surface, there you have the answer to the question ‘does he like me?’.
It could be a sign that a man likes you, it the right measure. Sure, it's natural for him to feel a twinge when he feels threatened by someone, let’s say an ex or just another guy that hangs around you. No doubt, It’s a common behavior of most guys and girls.
But, in bigger measures, jealousy can be something quite twisted. It's a sign of deep-rooted insecurity and a bid to wield total control over you. So, if you are not careful, things can get too serious.
First of all, do not get defensive right off the boat, that just makes it look like you have something to be guilty about. The times when he’s a bit calm, the two of you can take out some time to talk about his feeling, so you can get to the root of it all.
Also, the times when you sense he is jealous, you also need to create some boundaries, as much as you want to be supportive, do not encourage bad behavior. Something has to give on your part too.
For the most part, guys are no different from girls when it comes to love and jealousy. So, you simply need to watch out for the way he acts when you are with other guys. If he is a bit jealous and standoff-ish, then something is obviously wrong and he probably has some feelings he’s hiding from you. He may not even say anything, but his body language will speak volumes.
Whether you are battling with a jealous lover in your relationship or are wondering why your man is acting so weird, it's good to know how to act. No one wants to be sucked into a world of jealous guys; so you need to know how to navigate it.
With the information above, you’re pretty much good to go. Even more, drop a comment below, because nothing trumps real-life experiences and input. And if you know a girl, friend, or sister that needs help spotting signs of jealous men, it’s a good reason to take it up a notch and share this with that.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.