Should I block my ex? If you’re currently struggling with this question, it’ll help to be aware that blocking your ex doesn't end at clicking the block option on WhatsApp, Instagram, or Twitter; it takes a continuous effort to keep him blocked. Quite frankly, before even considering that route at the end of a relationship, you have to be sure it's necessary.
No doubt, as the ex-girlfriend, blocking an ex is a critical decision to make, and research shows that breakups are often associated with increased psychological distress. No doubt, this stress can lead us to make irrational decisions – one of which includes blocking an ex-partner. And yes, you can unblock later, but blocking in the first place sends a message you cannot retract, especially if you still want things to work out.
Sadly, if you are also asking yourself ‘ he blocked me, will he come back?’’, you certainly need a little more help to get you through these rough times. Hopefully, the below tips will help you make a great choice, but you’d have to read every word.
- 1 Tips To Help You Decide If You Should Block Your Ex
- 1.1 1. What is the goal?
- 1.2 2. You will look bitter.
- 1.3 3. You’re not over him.
- 1.4 4. Mind games?
- 1.5 5. How long is this fix?
- 1.6 6. How would you feel after?
- 1.7 7. Do you seek closure?
- 1.8 8. It’s childish.
- 1.9 9. Are you sending a message?
- 1.10 10. Do you want communication lines open or closed?
- 1.11 11. Are you ready to bear the consequences?
- 2 FAQ
- 3 To Conclude
Tips To Help You Decide If You Should Block Your Ex
1. What is the goal?
Do you think that blocking your ex will feel like a breath of fresh air? If yes, then go ahead. If it’ll give you time to care about yourself (which you should), then blocking might not be such a toxic thing to do. People often forget themselves during breakups; their needs and wants, gradually become secondary.
So, listen to what you’re heart wants and dive right in. Right now, you are your own best friend; you must sort out yourself beyond the breakup, and if blocking your ex would bring you peace, that’s okay.
With that being said, it’s also wise to ask yourself if this is permanent. I mean, it's alright to want some time off seeing a past lover pop on your social media. No doubt, every time he shows up on your timeline, it will certainly stir up a few emotions, most of which probably won’t be able to deal with.
The thing is, your ex might not be the type to openly post-breakup plans. If he is, it's fair to let him know the drift, which aids casual friendship afterward. Blocking an ex to get attention is not the best way to seek reconciliation; to make them feel like they've lost something special – you might end up cutting your nose to spite your face. So, ask yourself what's more important, moving past the breakup or getting your ex back in your life?
2. You will look bitter.
Blocking your ex on social media might come off as a sign of bitterness or resentment. And as you are now the ex-girlfriend, your ex has no idea what's going on in your head, how you're taking the break-up and why you came to that decision to block him. So, this lack of understanding might have him asking himself questions, that will exaggerate the whole thing; worse yet; he will likely draw reliable conclusions that you are just bitter.
What’s more, if you block your ex, he could interpret this action as childish, and jealous; pretty much all of the things you don't want if you're just trying to seek attention. It could also be interpreted as you're not over the relationship, and that's fair; you're allowed time to heal. But remember, any dramatic action taken will likely diminish your chances to get your ex back.
Don’t get me wrong; I understand it’s not easy to thrive with someone who no longer has your heart being so virtually close to them, hence the desire to push them far. What’s more, always knowing what they're up to can also delay possible healing, if that's what you desire. But remember, throughout this process, the most important person is you; so, you need to ask yourself – what do you want out of this?
And no, this isn't like asking your friend in kindergarten not to touch your pencil anymore because you want attention; this is more of an ‘I want you out my life’ signal. It could mean different things depending on the grounds of the breakup, but most times, it's goodbye.
No doubt, today social media is a substantial part of our lives and being blocked stings just as much as getting kicked off a cruise ship; so, to block ex will not only send the message that you want him out of your life, but it is also very hurtful especially when they haven't blocked you and they might still love you. Furthermore, it sends strong signals that you just don’t want your ex back.
And if you are the one screaming ‘my ex blocked me’, sometimes, being blocked first justifies blocking an ex back, although, I’ve got a quick question on that note. What if your ex blocked you for attention also? Do you now see how doing that for recognition is a complete joke?
Certainly, there are a lot of subtle ways to communicate the desire to reconcile with your ex and blocking has a lot of bad energy. However, if this is your way of ensuring your ex stays gone, it might not be a wrong method.
3. You’re not over him.
Whatever your reason for blocking your ex on social media and their phone number, the general assumption is that you are not handling the break up well; which isn't entirely wrong. No doubt, if you’ve just got separated from someone you've shared a lot of moments with; it's not easy moving on from that if you still get a call or notification. In fact, It's unhealthy to drown in pain because you are trying to be brave about this.
What’s more, if you can't get into a simple discussion about needing space, blocking your ex might just be your saving grace. Worse yet, if you want your ex back after a painful break-up, sticking around as friends is not only a terrible act, that will likely rub more salt to the wound, especially if he starts seeing other people.
Yes, being blocked stings bad; that’s why my usual answer to ”should I block my ex?” is ”why not?” if you've got a solid reason to, then maybe you should. If your heart is still heavy, sticking around someone after a breakup is nothing short of toxic. You don’t have to stick around when it still hurts, get your ex out of the way to heal if you have to.
4. Mind games?
Any form of emotional distress is never good. Acting out of frustration or anger never leads to anything profitable, and if you just want to block your ex to cause pain or play mind games, you should rethink. Blocking is such a desperate way to get at your ex and it will cost you whatever form of trust left in the relationship.
Now's not the time to act irrationally; think it through with pros and cons, analyzing the situation would help too. Nobody wants to be played and if your ex was playing you, how would it make you feel? I bet you'd think it's weak and terrible, but guess what? That's probably how your ex would feel about you too. Hence why playing mind games is a pitfall if you want to win him back in the future.
I suggest you stay calm about it until you can act rationally. It's okay to ask post-breakup questions, as it helps the healing process and stabilizes the situation in either of your heads so that assumptions are cleared. Remember, the most important person is you. And if blocking your ex would save you the ‘crazy ex-girlfriend’ tag, you should only consider it after you feel better.
No doubt, there are many ways to upset your ex; if that’s your game plan, but the point I am making is that blocking is a bit extreme, but that’s only my opinion.
5. How long is this fix?
Are you most likely going to wake up one morning wishing you could take it all back? Do you want to get rid of that part of your life so badly? Are you that unforgivably hurt? These are some questions to ask yourself before clicking the ‘block’ option. Like I mentioned earlier, as an ex-girlfriend, it takes a conscious effort to keep an ex blocked, part of you would want to check how he's doing, who he's moved on with, if you can get your ex back – sometimes, having answers to all these questions give enough closure.
So, if you're merely trying to send your ex a signal, what kind is it? And how long would you have to keep his number blocked to pass the point across? Remember, you can't keep blocking and unblocking your ex at will, that's crazy. So, it’s necessary to think things through; doing this also gives you time off to heal.
My pro tip; Don’t do something that would continuously eat you alive because then you’d have yourself to blame; so, if you can’t stop blocking your ex don’t do it. Also, keep in mind blocking your ex may trigger the same action towards you, and that’s a lot harder to undo. Certainly, this is something that happens a lot. Furthermore, don’t try to fix your emotions by making a rash decision such as this, especially if you still love him and hope to be on good terms in the future.
6. How would you feel after?
Try to imagine how you would feel after blocking your ex. You don’t see his profile, comments, posts, and if you blocked his phone number as well, he doesn’t call you either. Does that make you feel good? If yes, then you did the right thing to help you heal, and you’re satisfied with it.
However, if blocking him gives you sleepless nights and has you overthinking situations that may not be realistic, it’s not childish to take it back (and leave it at that). Yes, it’s okay to change your mind about wanting him out of your life entirely, as long as you’re sure it’s what you want this time.
No doubt, as the ex-girlfriend, taking those steps to block your ex would put you through a lot of emotions at first – one of them being stalking. So, ask yourself, are you ready to resist the urge to stalk? Do you still want to know what your ex is up to? If not, that’s a great decision, as this will stop you from going back and forth on his profile if you are still heartbroken. Furthermore, the step to block your ex would give you a new perspective; even though you regret it, at least, you know what it’s like cutting him out.
7. Do you seek closure?
Taking those first steps to block your ex should be about your mental peace, not about getting back at anyone. It should also offer you some space to understand what happened between you and your ex and get used to not being together anymore. No – it’s not abnormal to need that kind of space after a breakup, and sometimes it gets you there quickly.
Just being able to exist apart from him might help you focus on other areas of your life or something important that requires your attention. In this case, closure is definitely what you need to move on from that pain, and staying away from things that remind you of him will get you there. However, is that what you want? And do you feel it’s selfish to want that?
No doubt, your primary focus should be you, not him, or what he would think. This is non-negotiable if your relationship was an abusive one. If it was, then shut him out, and lock that door, sister! You deserve so much better, and it’s out there.
So, the point I am trying to make is that the decision to block your ex may be the best way to start a new chapter of your life; in fact, you might not even realize when you’ve moved on. What’s more, the situation would become less toxic than what it was after you’ve moved on; this might be just the energy you need for a new page.
8. It’s childish.
As you are already the ex-girlfriend, blocking an ex could be perceived as childish behavior, but that mostly depends on the reason behind the breakup. More so, it’s okay that two adults who were fond of each other decided they’re no longer compatible. If that’s the case, blocking would be immature.
On the flip side, if it’s a man blocking a woman, it might seem a little strange as most of us women perceive men as strong enough to go through an ordeal such as breaking up. However, if your ex blocked you, it doesn’t mean he is weak and extra sensitive about simple situations (although that’s what it looks like, especially if he is avoiding you everywhere else – off social media). What if he just wanted time away from you to think things through?
Likewise, if it’s you doing the blocking and you need time alone, even if you’ve thought this decision through and it’s for the greater good, should you go through with it? If you must, don’t be worried about coming off as childish. Even though your ex may perceive you as immature, your priority is yourself at the moment, and whatever helps you sleep at night is exactly what you should do. It hardly matters what anyone would think about being blocked if your sanity is at stake.
9. Are you sending a message?
Being an ex-girlfriend is no easy feat! You probably just want to block your ex right now because you feel that’s what he would do, and you want to beat him to it. If that’s what this is about, does it sound like a smart thing? For all we know, you’re probably assuming the entire situation. Certainly, it’s different if you’ve been blocked, if not, hold your horse!
No doubt, this is a terrible way to communicate how pissed you are about something. Are you aware that only the person who owns the grudge is affected by it? No doubt, blocking him out of anger guarantees regret and when your senses wake up, you’d realize blocking him wasn’t the best way to get attention.
Also, blocking an ex helps them get over you too, so don’t be quick to think the other party is under some kind of punishment for hurting you. At this point, the relationship is already over; what you should be looking at is the way forward and not creating bad blood. So, it's best to talk with your ex about the way you feel, pick up the phone and call him up like an adult.
If that’s too sensitive for you, drop a message, toss your phone afterward, as I do. Whatever message you’re trying to send an ex is better sent directly; codes and assumptions would not do either of you good.
10. Do you want communication lines open or closed?
Often, it’ll seem like a break up is the end of everything between two people, but there is a chance it may not be. As the ex-girlfriend, if you ever want to work things to be ‘just friends’ or pick up the relationship from a new page, it’s best to keep communication lines open.
Blocking your ex on social media translates to closing communication lines against future conversations. Is that what you want? that he never contacts you? If it bothers you, maybe you can’t stomach cutting him off. Social media could be the tool to send subtle messages about wanting him back in your life. But the keyword is delicate, as you don’t want to open fresh wounds.
If you keep communication open, chances are you’d pick up useful cues to get your ex back in your life. In fact, communication lines should only be closed after you’ve taken a long hard thought about not wanting him back. But if it hurts you to see his notifications and you think not talking would help you heal, please do what you have to feel better.
No doubt, as an ex-girlfriend, seeing your ex on social media is a constant reminder of the lessons you’ve learned about love, having that reminder might help you stay on track, enough not to make the same mistake.
11. Are you ready to bear the consequences?
Think about how your ex would feel about getting blocked. It’s completely okay to want to have your ex back, but blocking him puts that at risk. So, the question is – are you ready to bear the consequences? If you are, then go ahead.
But remember, the answer to “should I block my ex ?” Lies in, “why am I blocking my ex?” Are you blocking him because you’re hurt? How long do you think you’d feel hurt about this? Are you blocking him as a signal? Is it because you don’t want to get blocked first?
Also, do you want to know what’s on the other side? perhaps you can handle it. Furthermore, will you want to unblock the ex you thought so hard to block? Are you later going to unblock to see if he’s moved on without you? You need to think this through too.
Finding good reason in these questions would be the cue to block that ex or not. Remember, you are the most critical person in this and nobody should hold you for doing what you think is best for you, at the moment. So, if blocking your ex is the answer, do it.
Also, If you think you’d never need this person again, you might turn out to be wrong. The world is a tiny place, and you need connection. You never know – your ex might be a great help to you in the future, and you’d be glad things were left on a good note.
With that being said, the best advice here is this, unblocking your ex doesn’t mean everything would be fresh, your actions have probably caused a reaction, and you should be ready for that. If you are, then unblock him.
Having read the tips above, by now you’ll understand what you’re about to do and have probably thought out the consequences of your actions. I don’t know what the relationship with your ex was like, so I can’t say “block him” right off the bat.
This decision is entirely yours to make, as the ex-girlfriend, but the question is would it make you feel better? Are you going to regret it? Is it for the greater good? The answer to these questions would help you make the best choice in this situation.
Social media is now an integrated part of our lives. I bet when you still had a relationship with your ex, you both shared moments on social media. Also, keep in mind that blocking an ex on social media isn’t going to be oblivious to your followers, especially if you’ve been posting about your relationship often. It’s an excellent way to announce a breakup, but it could also mean publicly shaming you as an ex-girlfriend.
Also, most people think that blocking an ex on social media only hurts the ex. That’s not true, and you could be helping your ex get over you when you block him; your ex probably won’t notice the block until much later. Sometimes, it's really a case of cutting your nose to spite your face.
You just never know where clicking that block option will lead until you click it. Chances are you would regret it. I know breakups sting badly sometimes, and just eliminating the ex feels like the only option at the moment, but it’s not. Before things got this bitter between you both, they were sweet.
Certainly, the healing that comes from feeling every pain at the moment is a lot more permanent than the one from escaping the moment. So, blocking an ex on social media is like avoiding a feeling until you forget to feel it anymore, but it doesn’t mean you’d be over the breakup.
There’s no perfect time to unblock an ex. If you feel you’re over the breakup, then maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet. However, if you regret the decision to block your ex so much, it's not out of the question to just undo it. A lot of times, we do things that aren’t reasonable when we’re emotional, and that’s okay.
Maybe you blocked your ex to send a message (in the most childish way) if it’s been a while, and you don’t think he’s gotten the point – you should unblock and try the adult route – pick up the phone and call maybe?
The decision to block your ex on social media or their phone number is a big one. You should carefully think it through, from your perspective and that of your ex too. This is something no one should do for you, neither should you, as the ex-girlfriend, do it to prove a point or to beat your ex to it. If blocking isn’t the best solution for you, that’s fine, especially if you hope things work out in the future.
Having read through the entire article, do you still want to block that ex knowing what you know? If yes, do it! I’m sure my article helped you make the best decision on this. Tell me your thoughts in the comment section below, and please don’t forget to share this article on social media if you liked it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.