Did you scoop through your husband’s browsing history recently and found out that he watches pornography?
And you are depressed because of this, asking yourself questions like “why is he doing that?”, “When did he start watching it,” since you people are married and you don’t think you deprived him of sex, “what are the consequences of this act?”.
Perhaps you might be wondering if you should be upset or not?
If this is what is happening right now, read on. This article is a guide to that is structured to explore the following topics:
- Reasons why men watch pornography.
- How should you react to this?
- How you should communicate with your husband if he does watch porn
But before we go into details about the subject matter, I will like to share with you a story.
- 1 A Personal Story
- 2 Watching Pornography: Is This Acceptable In The First Instance Or Not?
- 3 10 Reasons Why Men Watch Porn
- 4 Should I Be Upset That My Boyfriend Watches Porn?
- 5 How You Should Communicate With Your Man If He Watches Porn
- 6 In Conclusion…
A Personal Story
It all started about 25 years ago when I matured enough to be in a relationship with the guy of my choice. Throughout this time, I have been in so many relationships where the guys I dated don’t seem to care about me. I will always fight them to at least show their affections towards me just to confirm if truly they liked or loved me.
Sincerely speaking, when I sit and recall how things were then, I knew I don’t have the idea on how to make an impression that will last long on men. I was viewed by most men as other ladies who are just attractive but lack romance techniques.
Although this defect changed when I spoke with one of my friends who told me about the “Hero’s Instinct”, a very powerful aspect of male psychology. The effect of this animated television series instinct on men tells how men feel about their partner during romance. It tells a lot about a man’s sex life.
By ensuring you act on what you learned, you will see that your man will be more devoted and affectionate towards you. It will help you strengthen your relationship. I recommend that you try to learn about the “Hero’s Instinct” and put anything you learn from it into action. You will never regret it.
But in the meantime, this article will provide you with all the information needed about your husband’s pornography habit.
Just to remind you, it’s normal for men and women to watch porn. But in this article, we will make a thorough research on why men watch porn and the implication of this in their marriage. It’s your decision whether you should be upset or not with your husband for watching porn.
Now let’s move to the topic of the day: Should I be upset that my husband watches porn?
Watching Pornography: Is This Acceptable In The First Instance Or Not?
So many of us (men and women) watch porn. It’s no longer alarming when you find a guy or a girl seeing porn videos these days. There is little or no shame in this act anymore.
But with all I’ve said, does that mean it is acceptable?
It’s sure the answer we would get from this will vary from one person to another. What really determines the answer each is how open we are with our sexuality.
While some people take the habit of watching porn as a normal thing because they see a lot of people doing it, other people won’t go with what the crowd is doing, and there is no problem with that.
But mind you, the number of people who believe the habit of watching porn is a normal thing is very high and I think we have to go with the majority. There are more guys who watch porn since there is an assumption that there is nothing wrong with it and that it is fun.
Like the lesson gotten from the saying “too much of everything is bad”, this applies in watching porn videos. There are some negative impacts that this addictive habit has on humans and their relationship’s sex life.
10 Reasons Why Men Watch Porn
I’m very sure you all want to know the reason why most men watch porn. Well, I have gathered 10 reasons why they do so. Some of them are given below with a detailed explanation about each in case you need to ask about anything related to each reason:
1. Urge To Satisfy Their Sexual Pleasure
Most guys are very fundamental to the way they live their lives. They derive pleasure when they watch porn. This is because they need to satisfy their immediate sexual desire.
Relationships are very complex and it requires continuous attention to details from both parties who are involved in it. Sometimes your partner might give you a go-ahead signal for you people to have sex but because you really don’t understand or because you don’t pay attention, you miss the opportunity. This is very common with men.
However, porn, on the other hand, doesn’t give men signals before they watch it. They do it based on how they feel at that moment. Pornography is actually a perfect fantasy, and everybody likes that.
2. The Feeling Of Power
As we all know everyone wants to feel powerful. When it comes to porn, the main character is filled with hedonism, trying to satisfy himself so that women develop empathy for them which thereby makes them powerful.
3. They Visualize
When it comes to watching porn, men are believed to top the rank because their sexual arousal depends on what they see. They love to watch sex videos without any fear that there could be any issue if their partner or anyone sees them doing it.
Watching pornography videos sometimes helps them satisfy their sexual desire at that moment without needing to call on anyone or their partner to come to have sex with them.
One way by which we can control the population is by taking some preventive measures that help us satisfy our sexual desire without needing to having intimate contact with the opposite sex.
Masturbation can be used to control the population. The habit of masturbating is mostly seen in men than in women. While some people use sex toys to help satisfy their sexual desire, others go natural. But regardless of how they go about it, most times, this is often the reason why guys watch porn.
Boredom kills a lot. When there is nobody around you to cheer you up, you tend to find things that would make you feel happy and not bored. While some people find watching movies as a way to eliminate boredom, others might consider seeing porn videos.
They might not get aroused while they watch it, but just to keep themselves lively and out of boredom, they rather visit porn websites online or even buy the disks from the shops.
6. Increase Their Libido
Many guys watch porn because they want to increase the time spent while having sex with their partner. By watching porn, they will feel the urge to masturbate. And continuous masturbation could help them in increasing their libido.
When your partner seems not to be satisfied with your sexual performance, you can always watch porn just to increase your libido so you can satisfy them.
7. To Learn
When a guy’s sex life is boring just because you don’t know much about it, he might want to learn by going extra miles to get porn videos for him to watch. He wants to satisfy women that come his way by all means.
8. For Exploration
There are a lot of things which many people still don’t know. And when they get to hear about it, they will always like to explore. Even when the thing does not really have value or importance, they would also like to know about it.
A lot of men including women watch porn because they are curious about what it really entails. When they hear their friends talk about it, they feel there is a need for them to contribute and also ask questions but because they don’t know about it, they feel left out.
Once this happens, they become curious about it and conclude there is a need for them to watch porn.
10. Nice Feeling
There is no doubt when people watch porn, they feel nice about it. The entertainment and pleasure they derive from seeing the way porn stars act gives them a nice sensation which will make them never think of quitting
There is also a good time attached to it when they watch porn. So when there is a nice feeling and good time spent when you watch porn, why would you not like to continue the habit of seeing a porn video always?
Should I Be Upset That My Boyfriend Watches Porn?
Should I be upset or should it bother me that my boyfriend watches porn?. There is no specific answer that will tell if you should be upset or not. My advice is, once you see your boyfriend or husband watching porn, you act based on how you feel. There is no rule guiding whether or not you should feel upset if you see your partner watching pornography. It’s a personal judgment that varies from one person to another. You should feel the way you like when you find yourself in this kind of scenario.
Some might come with the conclusion that you should be upset, while others will conclude on no, you shouldn’t. But as for me, I prefer you shouldn’t hide how you feel when this kind of thing happens in your relationship.
Act based on how you feel at that moment and don’t act based on the advice you get from friends or relatives. Their advice can be helpful but in a situation where it doesn’t suit what is in your mind, will you hold grudges against them or your husband?
There is nothing wrong with you being upset when you see your husband watching porn. If it’s something that you find appalling and there is a need to be upset, then you should. Even if your boyfriend or husband says that watching porn has no meaning and he watches it just for fun, don’t mind him. Go with the way you feel (but don’t act otherwise as it won’t be helpful at all). So many times, there would be ignorance attached to his actions and he would not like to hurt you or make you upset. However, this shouldn’t be a reason for you not to be upset with what he has done. If you feel upset, you’ve got all the right to be and no one will question you about it.
I’ve got a question going through my mind right now and I don’t know if it does in yours also. The question is – Is it strange if you are not upset with your husband when you find out that he watches porn? Like I’ve said before, feelings differ from one individual to another. It’s not bad of you if you feel it’s nice for your husband to watch pornography at least the both of you do watch movies that have a sex scene in it. If you’ve spoken with your man about it and he says he is addicted and doesn’t think he can get out of it, then you should find some alternative or seek advice from experts on how to help him out.
How You Should Communicate With Your Man If He Watches Porn
It’s no longer new to us that communication is very vital in any relationship. Whether it’s a relationship in which there is nothing intimate attached to it or the one in which intimacy is present, communication is a key.
Communication is needed to accomplish a lot of things. It’s used to resolve conflict, share ideas, say how you feel about something or someone, maintain relationship status, etc. In a situation like this where you need to use it to help your husband out of his sex addiction, you really need to be mindful of how you talk to him.
You shouldn’t just walk to your man, and start telling him what you think of him watching porn. This might not even affect him at all, as he would be like what he does is none of your business and you shouldn’t bother about him. Hence, you must ensure that you speak with him in a comfortable and open environment. You need to let him know that the fact that he is watching porn doesn’t make you happy instead it upsets you. Let him know how you feel and the impact of the habit on your relationship.
This might sound surprising to him because he believes there is nothing wrong with what he is doing and it’s just a mere video with naked people having sex with each other. He is not aware of the damage which pornography has on his relationship. He does not have the intention to hurt you, but unaware the act could have a detrimental effect on him and the relationship. Therefore, you don’t need to be harsh on him when you are trying to let him know what he does not know.
You shouldn’t be mad at him as this might escalate the issue and there won’t be any chance to resolve the conflict amicably. Letting your partner know the way you feel about what he is doing is the right way to solve the issue. Be honest and open-minded when you are communicating the way you feel about this habit. You should also understand why he is watching porn and what he derives from watching. Try to ask him questions about this.
If you’ve done this and he still did not stop watching porn, maybe you need to revisit it or end the relationship since you seem to be upset with it.
I hope this article helped you to understand the reason why your husband or boyfriend watches pornography, how you should react when you see him doing this, and how you can resolve it through communication. Ensure that you follow your feelings and not what people talk or say. The man is your lifetime partner, so you shouldn’t hide your feelings.
Do you have any comments or suggestions? If yes, use the comment box below.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.