Being in a relationship doesn't translate to having a merged life on all fronts with your partner. In many ways, couples are allowed some sort of privacy individually, especially at the early stage of the relationship. You and your partner can't move around in each other's business all the time like conjoined Twins.
However, it remains the choice of the parties involved to either trust each other with their phone password or create boundaries. It's arguably true that sharing passwords with your partner can turn out positive.
However, it does have its pros and cons. Trust amongst partners is built over time; that level of intimacy where you share everything, including passwords, doesn't happen overnight. In a marriage where there are no trust issues, the couple won’t have any problem sharing the password to their accounts, tablets, or phones.
But here’s the thing, the way a couple goes about it is important. In a situation where one partner feels it’s his/her right to have access to a phone account, phonebook records, and the likes, in a way, that’s biting off more than you can chew.
Such behaviors would be seen as disrespectful; the same way checking a partner’s text messages, social media messages, or call logs would. So as much as couples that are dating or in a marriage would want full transparency in their relationships, there have to be healthy boundaries or at least an understanding between both of them.
To shed more light on this topic, below are the risks and rewards of sharing passwords with your spouse.
- 1 The Risks Sharing Your Phone Password With Your Partner
- 2 The Rewards Of Sharing Passwords With Someone You’re Dating
- 3 FAQs
- 4 In Conclusion
The Risks Sharing Your Phone Password With Your Partner
Every time your partner suspects you are up to something, he would go through your phone because he can. If, however, the intention is to find malicious content, it will put a strain on the relationship. It’s normal for partners to have trust issues every now and then, no one can really be 100% sure the other person is telling the truth.
Anytime one party displays strange or new behaviors, the need to check their phone would arise. If they know the phone is locked, the temptation to be sneaky reduces and they’d have to resort to the good old communication.
Any lack of trust in relationships should be communicated, rather than taking advantage of the fact that both of you are already privy to the passwords of each other’s gadgets.
2. No privacy
Couples are supposed to maintain a healthy level of boundaries between each other. It doesn't mean they're hiding anything, but taking away private lines may lead to abuse of privilege and make relationships less fun.
The fact that someone has access to all you’re doing takes away the mystery. It also takes away your right to discuss private matters or be part of something you’d rather not tell your partner about. Some partners would mistake sharing passwords as a license to snoop around looking for signs you’re doing something you didn’t tell them about.
So, there goes planning surprise parties or ordering ‘clothes’ or gifts that should come as a surprise to him. So, in such a situation, knowing that someone else doesn’t know your phone password would give you the leisure to plan. Just do other things you love without too much questions about it.
Where there are trust issues, there's always the probability of one partner telling the other what to do. It gets worse when they have access to your passwords. Now, they can find out about most of the things you’re doing privately that they disapprove of.
Before you know it, there’ll be comments about your friend Cathy and her cussing, or the way your mum doesn’t ask about him when she texts. Policing can also be explained as your partner making personal decisions because he has access to your private information.
The plot can easily be lost over time if boundaries are not maintained or called out when crossed. Can you imagine getting back to your computer only to find out that someone has changed the arrangement of files for fun? Or that important information was deleted by mistake? It's disheartening.
4. Identity theft
Well, you are at risk of getting your identity stolen. It’s not smart to share passwords at the early stage of the relationship just to prove that you've got nothing to hide or that you are trustworthy. Before letting out any private information about yourself, be security conscious, especially in a new relationship.
In this twenty-first century, almost all your data can be obtained by just hacking into your account. You're liable to be defrauded at any time. You could be left with debts from multiple withdrawals, your identity could be stolen, and whatnot. This probably isn't going to be done by your partner but sharing the knowledge increases the chance of it getting out of hand.
5. What happens after a bad breakup
Sharing your password can result in a lot of issues with your partner if the relationship doesn’t last. Although that generally depends on the kind of person your partner is. If he’s one to be vengeful, I suggest you hit reset on all your passwords once the relationship is over. He could plan to hurt you badly using your accounts or betray your trust in other ways.
Your ex can share very intimate conversations with people or send an implicating text or email to your boss just to get back at you for the breakup. It’s very risky and challenging to get over when situations like this occur; if not handled carefully, things could get stickier.
The Rewards Of Sharing Passwords With Someone You’re Dating
The act sounds trustworthy when you say it, even more so when it’s done. It creates a good atmosphere for trust to grow between couples, especially if that trust was broken before. There would be no need to feel less about your place in a man's life if he shares his details with you.
Sharing passwords with your partner is also a sign of commitment to the relationship. It doesn’t feel like you’re uncertain about the choice you made to commit to each other.
2. Easy communication
This doesn’t come automatically. However, it’s easier to communicate with your better half when you’ve got nothing to hide. Even if there is something you’re hiding, giving out your password says different and, to some extent, maintains the peace.
Plus, when you share access to your phone with your partner, you are less likely to indulge in silly acts that would be detrimental to the relationship. Over time, it puts you on a pedestal, and you’d think through everything you do to avoid any slip-ups.
It’s also easier to express yourself and how you feel to your partner when you feel like he isn’t hiding things from you. However, it’s not impossible to have this type of good communication without sharing passwords.
3. Removes barriers
When you share your password with your partner, it automatically removes barriers and makes you both feel more intimate with each other. However, don’t be too quick to assume that having your partner's passwords means he’s not cheating or cannot cheat on you. It does make everyone feel safer when there’s no wall between them though.
The dynamic of your relationship is what makes the difference between having access to your partner's phone or social media accounts. Of course, there must still be healthy boundaries between you two, no matter how comfortable you are with sharing private information. Those boundaries keep the relationship in the right place.
I support the idea of married couples knowing the password for each other’s devices at the very least. You never know when an emergency may occur, and to be honest with you, it makes no sense for your spouse to be guessing codes then. If you can’t trust that your partner would act in your best interest, then what’s the point of being together?
It’s also good security consciousness. In high-stress situations, you could call for help, and it’ll be rendered to you. Sometimes, it’s as simple as needing help with a document at work or other situations that require your partner to have access to your device.
5. More privacy
Contrary to public opinion, when you share passwords with your partner, it leads to more privacy. For as long as you trust each other, having or giving access to one another’s phones isn’t a license to snoop through. When you freely give out your password to your partner, it shows that you aren’t hiding anything.
Your partner can have your password but doesn’t feel the need to go through your phone. The need to look through each other’s devices comes from a lack of trust, which good communication can cure. It’s also a mental thing, when you already have access to it, you’re not bothered like you would be if you were denied entry.
Sharing passwords with your partner depends on the dynamics of your relationship with each other. I do not advise you to share passwords at the early stage of your relationship; it's a bold step, and that type of trust is earned over time. Phone passwords or any other kind of password is private; it can be used against you beyond your relationship, which is why you need to be careful about sharing passwords with every guy you date.
Whether you want to give out your password or not is personal. Don't allow anyone to guilt you into it; take your time and make your decision based on trust, even after the relationship ceases to exist. Your social media password is equally as crucial as all others, especially in this day and age, where a whole different life can exist online. I understand sharing passwords with your husband but with your boyfriend? Not so much. There are many reasons to go over before making such a decision, don't be rash.
It's never going to be okay to snoop through your partner's phone; it shows a lack of trust between you two. No matter your reasons, it's unfair to look at their phones just because they give you access to it; it's a breach of privacy. If you both love and trust each other, good communication shouldn't be that difficult to achieve. It's the malicious intent that makes looking at your partner's phone terrible; however, it has a lot to do with the dynamic of your relationship as well.
Yes! There's a level of privacy a couple should possess; otherwise, they risk a chance of losing the spark. It's true, being in each other's business for so long could lead to being at each other's throats. The privacy between couples shouldn't lead to suspicion or else; there is a problem. There's also a difference between something being private and being a secret.
If a husband has to hide a cell phone from his wife, there's something on it he doesn't want her to see. If he's turning off his phone too often, it may no longer be because of work but mischief. Hiding doesn't necessarily mean he never lets you see where it is; it's that it never leaves his sight or hand.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Be careful to go over the risks and rewards of sharing your password with your partner before indulging. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, and please share this article.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.