Not everyone wants to follow the usual path. You know, the one that requires you to meet a guy, go on three sexually intense dates or wait 90 agonizing dates ‘getting to know each other’ before finally dipping into the cookie jar.
The truth is many women don’t have the time or patience for meeting a man's fantasy. Sometimes, casual sex is just all a person needs to get over a breakup or relieve built-up stress.
Many women are solely out for the thrill with no interest whatsoever in taking the relationship further than the bedroom.
While all this may seem like fun, there are important things to note before having sex with a stranger because let’s face it; it is quite a dangerous act.
In this article, I’ll highlight 15 vital things to consider before hopping into bed with a total stranger.
- 1 Things to Consider Before Having Sex With A Stranger
- 1.1 1. Examine your state of mind
- 1.2 2. Full name
- 1.3 3. Be sure of their relationship status
- 1.4 4. Take safety measures
- 1.5 5. Choose a safe location
- 1.6 6. Make sure you have a mutual understanding
- 1.7 7. Practice safe sex
- 1.8 8. Confirm their recent test results
- 1.9 9. Know their allergies and intolerance
- 1.10 10. Don’t drink too much
- 1.11 11. Practice good hygiene
- 1.12 12. Wear sexy underwear
- 1.13 13. Communicate
- 1.14 14. Relax and be present
- 1.15 15. Be wary of the morning after regret
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
Things to Consider Before Having Sex With A Stranger
1. Examine your state of mind
If you’re engaging in sex with a stranger to fix your self-esteem, then you are in it for the wrong reason. Most studies on the subject of casual sex indicate that both men and women share the feeling of regret the morning after.
Guilt will only make you think less of yourself and make your need for acceptance even worse. Therefore, before engaging in casual sex, make sure that you’re in the right state of mind, and that you are there for the experience.
2. Full name
Killer horror stories about dates gone wrong did not originate from a psychos guy’s imagination. In many cases, they were inspired by true-life stories and events. So, before you hook up with a stranger, the very least you can do is to maintain eye contact and ask for a full name; except if you both want to remain anonymous.
With a full name, you can run it through google to be sure that your no-strings-attached beau is not a serial killer or a guy with criminal records who will endanger your life.
3. Be sure of their relationship status
This next tip only applies to girls who aren’t okay hooking up with other people’s husbands or guys in committed relationships. You must know your partner’s relationship status. Especially if you do not want to feel guilty for sleeping with someone’s husband or wife.
Also, try searching the guy on Facebook beforehand to make sure his stories (and everything he’s told you) ticks out. You never know what a guy can lie about to get laid. Trust me, I have met weird guys.
Just because you are about to have casual sex does not mean you can’t get to know each other. Ask him if he is seeing someone and be sure to make eye contact—just in case your guy is not being honest.
4. Take safety measures
Sex with a stranger is exciting if you like the adrenaline rush. Other than that it’s hard work and that’s because it is in many ways a dangerous thing to do. There’s a bit of a risk of running into a serial killer or getting attacked by your supposed fantasy guy.
So, before you meet up with complete strangers, make sure you tell your girlfriends or roommates where you are and who you will be with— just in case, things don’t turn out as planned. Also, don't pretend you’re going as a couple. Real couples don’t have to make up stories.
5. Choose a safe location
Similar to taking safety measures, your location matters as well. Just to be clear, a hotel room is probably the best location (not a bar) if you are doing this with a strange person. You may decide to meet up before determining the location or choosing one ahead of time. Either way, make sure it is somewhere you are comfortable with and it’s secure.
While his house or yours might seem like the best bet, that will depend on the type of relationship you intend on maintaining after having sex with the person. If you want to keep it going without making it a thing, you should stay away from each other’s homes and stick with hotel rooms.
6. Make sure you have a mutual understanding
Consent is essential when having sex with a stranger. So be sure he shares the same view. Irrespective of how much discussion you have had leading up to the moment, it is important to check in and be sure that you and your partner are on the same page. In addition to consent, you need to be sure of what this encounter means to both of you.
Is it casual sex with no strings attached or will there be the possibility of developing a relationship afterward? These are discussions you should ask before diving into fantasy land. Like I said earlier, ask to be sure he shares the same idea about what you want.
7. Practice safe sex
Sex with a stranger will always be viewed by society as irresponsible, especially when it’s something that happened in a bar or a public place. The reason for this objection is the risk it presents. There is the risk of STIs, unwanted pregnancies, or worse yet, falling into the wrong hands. The best you can do is to take safety measures and practice safe sex with people.
Ensure you use the appropriate contraceptives and avoid leaving things to chance. Your life is too important to give room for such risks, there are a lot of crazy people out there. Talk about safe sex often, don’t skip the talk.
8. Confirm their recent test results
The activities leading up to having casual sex with a stranger are all about taking safety precautions. If you are relying on other contraceptives such as the pill or an IUD, unless you live in a fantasy world, you should know that you are still at the risk of contracting an STD.
These contraceptives will only prevent pregnancy but will not do much to protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Also, make sure you ask your partner about the last time they got tested and what was the result. It may seem privy and uncomfortable, but, in the end, you will be happy you did.
9. Know their allergies and intolerance
Everyone has a sexual fantasy and sex drive, your partner might just be having plans to relish all those fantasies with you. It is important that you are both clear about what is acceptable and what lines can’t be crossed.
State your individual limits, allergies, and set boundaries or lines that must not be crossed. Sex should be exciting for both partners and not a gruesome experience. If you are trying out some sex kinks, make sure you both have a safe word that indicates to you and your partner that you are ready to stop.
10. Don’t drink too much
I know what you’re thinking; drinking is supposed to calm your mind and make you feel more courageous. Unfortunately, too much of it will have you performing at your worst and you don’t want that.
Moreover, you are more likely to meet a stranger who wants to sleep with you at a bar. However, a drink or two is fine, and that should be enough to work its magic. So, don’t get drunk, it doesn’t work.
11. Practice good hygiene
They say first impressions matter, but what’s more important is making the most of the only opportunity you have to make an impression. The fact that you’re having sex with a stranger means that there is the chance of you never meeting him again (except you plan to become his wife), so you have to make your time together memorable.
Make sure you smell nice down there and wear clean underwear. I know we can’t always have our lady parts ready for action at all times; however, if it’s impromptu. You can use the closest toilet to freshen up.
12. Wear sexy underwear
Nothing screams maturity, like owning your actions and seeing it through. So, if you are going to be daring or are getting an idea, you need to pull it off every step of the way. Now is not the time to put on your ‘hello kitty’ panties. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable, confident, sexy (you get the idea). A good pair of lingerie makes a woman feel excitingly appealing, and it celebrates her sexuality.
Communication is a vital part of any great sexual experience irrespective of who is involved – husband, lover, or a stranger. Without communication, the chances of things going wrong are high. You and your partner do not have any prior knowledge of each other. As such, you will need to communicate what you like, your fantasies, and how you will like to be treated.
14. Relax and be present
Sex is enjoyable only when you can get rid of distractions and focus on the present. If you are uncomfortable in any way, then you won’t be able to enjoy the experience. Your choice of location, reliable contraceptives, sexy underwear, and personal hygiene are all factors that can influence your sex drive and mood. Make sure all these things are in place to prevent your mind from wandering.
15. Be wary of the morning after regret
Agreeably, there is a thrill that comes with having flings; but there is also the morning-after guilt. It is important to prepare yourself to tackle this guilt. Make sure you are conscious during the act, come to terms with your reason for having casual sex, and practice safe sex.
Irrespective of how you feel the morning after, remember that there is nothing wrong for wanting to engage in a harmless fling. You are a grown woman who can choose to do whatever you please with your body.
When we have sex, oxytocin is released into the body, and it is this hormone that is responsible for the feelings of bonding, loyalty, and positive social functioning. Therefore, it is possible for men to feel emotionally attached after having sex.
You are the only one who can answer if sleeping with a stranger is wrong. Society has its standard and expectations of when and how sex should happen. But ultimately, you own your body and have the right to do with it; however, you please. So, while it is okay to sleep with a stranger, make sure that you do not put yourself in harm’s way.
Many women hold off on sex because they fear men will leave them if they have sex too soon. The truth is, whether you choose to have sex on the first day or wait a while longer, a man who is only attracted to you physically will leave immediately after sex. If you want a man to stay with you longer, aim to build an emotional connection. An emotional connection can be formed within minutes, hours, or days.
Sex increases dopamine and oxytocin levels and these are hormones responsible for feelings of romantic love. So yes, it is possible to fall in love after sex, especially if you don’t rush out of bed immediately but cuddle instead.
The misconception many women hold is that sex means nothing to guys. However, contrary to popular opinion, guys have feelings just as much as women. When a guy has sex with a woman he has an emotional connection with, it means something to him.
Sex with strangers is a thrill that many women will experience in their youth or while in college. However, it comes with its risks.
I hope you found these tips insightful, and I look forward to hearing from you in the comment section. If you enjoyed reading this piece, please ensure you share it with your friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.