Seeking Validation in Relationships (7 Tips To Stop Your Need For Validation)

Do you have a strong desire to be accepted for your desires, beliefs, values, etc.? Are you tired of giving explanations to people for your actions?

Believe me, I’ve been there! There was a time in my life when I needed validation for my actions and lacked the ability to make decisions for myself. I was not confident and was always unhappy and not interested in life.

I used to think a lot about how to make the people in my life happy so they love me. I eventually learned that before trying to do things to make people in my life happy, I needed to learn to love myself.

In today’s article, we are going to look at tips that can help you stop the habit of taking approval from others. This will help you in living a fulfilled life without the dread of judgment from people. Plus, we will also see how important acceptance is in relationships.

Steps To Stop Seeking Validation In Relationships

1. Do not ask for validation

A person usually needs approval when they want others to see things from their perspective. Here, you need to understand that if a person has hurt you or disregarded you, you cannot expect the same person to understand your position and your needs. 

2. Show some love to yourself

One reason why you might be seeking approval is that you are looking for love. If that is the case then instead of wanting your boyfriend to love you, you should start by loving yourself. Instead of looking for approval from somewhere else, you should give the same validation to yourself. 

Loving yourself first will not only help you in having satisfying relationships but it will also help you in case you have low self-esteem. Only you know your true self and you need to understand and love yourself as you are.

3. Take a break from social media

take a break from social media

For many, social media is the biggest reason for their validation-seeking behavior. The world of likes, followers, etc., is such that it encourages the need for approval in people. People often forget that others show a different life on social media, which is usually a lie and thus they end up comparing their lives with the lie online.

There is nothing wrong with having an interest in social media, however, it should not go to an extent where you feel validated only by the comments and likes of people on the other side of the screen. If you think it is getting too much for you then it is better to take a break.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others

You need to respect yourself and understand that you cannot always be right. Understand that every individual is bound to make mistakes and a few setbacks should not make you sad. So instead of comparing yourself to others, notice where you were in the past and how far you have come. 

Pay attention to the dreams that you have realized and make a strategy to achieve your unfulfilled dreams. Have a conversation with yourself and feel free to make some mistakes in your journey.

5. Start believing in yourself

When your constant desire to seek approval from others becomes your second nature then it might result in anxiety. Long story short, if you constantly find yourself second-guessing actions then it can ruin your otherwise happy relationship. You might feel that looking for approval from others might make them like you but in reality, it will create the opposite effect.

Start by trusting your own judgment and when in doubt use the advice that you would have given to your friend had they been in your position. This will give you an idea about how each situation needs to be handled and thus slowly you will get back your self-belief. 

6. Be mindful

be mindful

To have a healthy relationship, be mindful of your actions. Instead of doing things in the hope of impressing your partner, practice self-acceptance and try to do things to improve yourself. Make a list of your fears and work on ways to confront them. Spending time with yourself will help you understand yourself better and you can gain some confidence

7. Understand your own feelings

If you need to be accepted by others then it shows that you are putting the desires, and opinions of others over your feelings. Here, you need to understand that you have the right to feel how you feel. Accepting your feelings will increase your self-confidence and you would be able to talk about your fear and your feelings.

If you know somebody did something bad then why do you require approval from outside sources? Why do you seek validation from others? If the other person cannot recognize how terrible you are feeling then recognize your own worth and move on.

How Important Is Validation In A Healthy Relationship?

It is important to have acceptance for each other in a relationship as this acceptance makes the bond stronger. Showing someone that you understand their emotions, feelings, beliefs, etc., makes them feel happy and secure. Your acceptance shows how important they are to you and it is a way to increase intimacy in relationships. 


How do you stop seeking validation in a relationship?

To stop this in a relationship you should be mindful of your actions and try to stay away from social media. Whenever you find yourself thinking about others, you should stop yourself and validate and make judgments for yourself.

What does it mean when someone seeks validation?

When someone seeks acceptance it means that they want the acceptance or approval of others. They want someone else to understand their position and tell them their thoughts are valid. 

What does validation mean in a relationship?

In a relationship, it means acknowledging your partner’s beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and values. It is the feeling of being heard and understood in a relationship. It does not mean agreeing with everything that your partner says but just understanding what they are feeling.

Is validation healthy in a relationship?

Validation can make the relationships stronger and bring the couple closer. By validating your partner’s feelings, you show them that they are important to you and you understand where they are coming from. This increases trust and intimacy in the relationship. 

How can you tell if someone is looking for validation?

If someone is looking for approval, their happiness will always depend on how other people treat them. These people are always looking for approval from others and lack confidence and self-respect and always need others to make them happy.

In Conclusion

How has this content spoken to you? Do you also require constant approval in your relationship? Have you tried something to not feel bad for your feelings? We would love to hear about your experience. Please comment below! 

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