Traditionally, second weddings were not celebrated in the same way as a person’s first wedding. Often, they were planned to be basic and understated, suggesting that there was little reason to celebrate. However, this is far from the truth and a second wedding should be celebrated as much as the first.
A second wedding should be as excited and as celebrated an affair as the first. Just because things didn’t work out the first time doesn’t mean you are to blame nor does it mean that you shouldn’t celebrate finding someone new.
If you have fallen in love with someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, it is a reason to celebrate, no matter what happened in the past.
Keep reading to find out more about the second wedding etiquette.
Second Wedding Etiquette
There are a number of myths when it comes to second wedding etiquette that is best forgotten.
Just because you have been married before, it doesn’t mean that you have less right to celebrate the second time around. However, there are some things to keep in mind if it is your second wedding.
1. Be sensitive
If there is one thing that you should remember when it comes to 2nd wedding etiquette, be sensitive about your wedding announcement. This is especially important if you have children from your first marriage. You should let your children know of your engagement before anyone else is told. They should hear it from you rather than anyone else.
It is also important to consider your ex when you are planning your 2nd wedding ceremony. This is even more important if you have continued to have a good relationship with them. You will want to ensure that they hear the news from you directly to make sure that they don’t hear it from anyone else.
2. Don’t follow traditions
Traditionally, many 2nd weddings were extremely small and were not celebrated as lavishly as their first wedding. However, this should not be the case. If you have found love with someone new, it is a reason to celebrate and you shouldn’t let anything or anyone stop you from doing so. No matter what tradition may say, have the wedding that your heart desires.
You can still have an engagement party, wear white, choose the dress that you dream about, and have bridesmaids. Your guests will simply want to see you happy and enjoying yourself and they will not be worrying about what tradition may say about celebrating the 2nd wedding.
Follow your heart and have the wedding day that will make you happy.
3. Involve your children
When it comes to 2nd wedding etiquette, if you have children from your previous marriage, you may want to involve them in the celebrations when you are getting married this time around.
Your children will love to feel a part of your big day and it may also help them to get used to the idea of having someone new around. It is vital to make your children feel important and a part of the celebration.
Allow your children to read a prayer during the ceremony, walk you down the aisle, or give a toast during the wedding reception.
4. Invite your loved ones
No matter whether you have been married before or not, your family and friends should surround you on your big day. If your ex is still a part of your life, especially if you have children together, you may want to invite them. You should have both moved on from the past by now and be able to be happy with one another.
If your new partner gets along with your ex or your children are from your previous marriage, it makes sense to consider inviting your ex along. It is okay to invite them and they will let you know if they do not feel comfortable enough to attend. Also, just make sure to run it past your fiance so that you are both on the same page.
5. Write your gift register
Just because this is not your first wedding, it does not mean that you do not have the right to compile a gift registry. Don’t worry about traditions, your guests will want to contribute to your new marriage and to let you know how much they love you with gifts. Don’t feel as if you shouldn’t register for gifts for your second time.
6. Have a big wedding
Just because you have been married before, it doesn’t mean that you are any less entitled to have a big wedding. Perhaps your first wedding was a small event and you always wished you did it differently. Now you have the chance to have the wedding of your dreams so don’t pass up the chance.
If you have found love with someone new, celebrate this love with a wedding as big as you desire. Invite all the same people and more from your first wedding. There is no need to hold back on the guest list just because this is your 2nd wedding. Your guests will likely not even think about the fact that you have been married before, rather they will be enjoying the day.
7. Follow your heart
There is nothing wrong with having a big second wedding, but there is also nothing wrong with having a small one. If you would rather have an intimate occasion that focuses on the love between you and your fiance, that is okay too. It is important to follow your heart when planning a wedding ceremony and avoid doing anything that you are not comfortable with.
Even though you may believe that your friends and family will want you to have a big wedding, if you just want something small, that is what you should have. Speak to your fiance and discuss what really matters to you. Also, if you are saving to buy a house, it may make sense to save your money for that rather than spending it all on the wedding.
8. Don’t overthink it
Planning your 2nd wedding ceremony should be just as exciting as the first one. Just because things didn’t work out before, there is nothing to say that it will be the same this time. Forget about everything that happened in the past and focus on enjoying your new life with your new partner. Avoid overthinking things or worrying that the past will repeat itself.
If you have taken the time to learn from your past mistakes and grow as a person, your 2nd marriage should be successful and you should enjoy a lifetime of happiness with your new partner. Don’t let past memories or mistakes ruin your big day. Your 2nd wedding should be as fun and as exciting to plan as your first one was.
9. Do things differently
If there were aspects of your first wedding that you didn’t like, this is the time to have the wedding of your dreams. Perhaps your ex overruled you about different aspects of your wedding and you didn’t end up having the one that you had dreamed about. Make sure you are on the same page with your new partner so that you both have a wedding you will love.
A wedding is a joint occasion and it should be balanced. There is no point in having a wedding that one person has decided everything and the other is unhappy about every decision. Take the time to work out what you both want and what will make you both happy. Do things differently from the first time, relax, and enjoy the process, especially if you didn’t do so before.
A bride can wear whatever she desires for her 2nd wedding. There is no reason why she shouldn’t be able to wear whatever she wants just because she has been married previously. Don’t pay attention to myths about 2nd weddings and simply do what your heart wants. Choose a dress that makes you feel confident and beautiful.
On the 2nd wedding day, the bride’s father should walk the bride down the aisle, according to tradition. However, you can have whoever you choose to walk you down the aisle and there is no need to stick to traditional rules if they do not fit your own desires. You could choose to have your brother, mother or even your best friend walk you down the aisle if you want.
Who pays for the second time will depend on the situation and the people involved. There are no set rules and rather it is important to discuss with your fiancé and your close family members to determine who will pay for the wedding. No matter whether it is your first or second wedding, do not put pressure on your parents to pay if you can help it.
There is nothing to say that either a first or second marriage will be more successful. However, if you have been married before you likely learned things the first time that you can't take into your second marriage. Don’t become bogged down in the past, but do learn from your past mistakes at the same time.
There is nothing to say that a third marriage will not last the rest of your life, especially if you come to learn from your past mistakes. It is important to consider where things went wrong before in order to grow and become a better person. In this way, you will find happiness and your relationships will be happier too.
Previously, second weddings were often not celebrated in the same way as a first wedding. However, there is no reason not to have a big celebration for your second wedding. If you have found love again you should be able to celebrate in whatever way you want to. So, forget any myths surrounding second weddings and follow your heart.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.