If you look around at all the challenges in our world today, you'd discover that a significant percentage are relationship-related. A good relationship is what most people want the most.
On social media you might have noticed posts and skits with the caption; ‘God when?' written under a photo or video of a happy couple. You might also notice people commenting on posts with the hashtag ‘couple goals'. Most single women are eager to start dating because the grass always looks greener on the other side.
However, just like every other prospect in life, if a person isn't clear about what they want in a relationship, it may end up becoming meaningless. Most people go into relationships for the mere aim of getting admired by their peers and end up realizing that they have a false idea of what relationships are all about.
When these people eventually get into an actual relationship, their ‘God when' usually turns to a ‘God why' and they start to feel like there's no point to their relationships. There are many paths that lead down this road and if you're curious to know a few of them, below are a few reasons why some seemingly good relationships end up seeming pointless.
- 1 13 Reasons Why Some Relationships Are Pointless
- 1.1 1. You're tired of the streets so anything will do
- 1.2 2. Some people prefer to manage a terrible relationship instead of being single
- 1.3 3. You're with the wrong person
- 1.4 4. The relationship is one-sided
- 1.5 5. You can't be yourself around your spouse
- 1.6 6. You're simply not happy
- 1.7 7. You have no support from your spouse
- 1.8 8. You don't feel worthy
- 1.9 9. Your partner is toxic for you
- 1.10 10. You're afraid you’ll never find true love
- 1.11 11. You don't want to make selfish decisions
- 1.12 12. Relationships aren’t everything
- 1.13 13. Being with the wrong person is stressful
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
13 Reasons Why Some Relationships Are Pointless
1. You're tired of the streets so anything will do
Almost everyone is familiar with the trendy Tik Tok and Instagram chant; “The streets are calling my name, I’m going to the streets. This Summer, I’m going to the streets”. It's been a source of comic relief for most of us but for some single women, ‘the street’ is their home.
Streets here refers to the state of no commitment to a single person or routine but letting yourself run free and do whatever and whatever you choose to do.
As much as this may seem like existential bliss, this state is not how humans were built to function. Most of us live happy and fulfilling lives when we have boundaries, a good set of daily habits, and are committed to a spouse whose life’s purpose and emotional energy align with ours.
So, when some of these women are tired of ‘the streets’ and wish to start building healthy relationships, they settle for anyone who comes their way. They believe that they aren’t worth much anymore so they pick the wrong life partner and end up gaining no satisfaction from their relationship.
2. Some people prefer to manage a terrible relationship instead of being single
To be in a successful relationship, you've got to be with the right person. Any relationship could seem useless when the person you're with isn't right for you. It's very common to find people who stay married simply because they don't know how to be single. Some are even afraid of being single because they feel that they will be lonely.
What they fail to realize is that a person can be in a relationship and still feel lonely and unhappy. Relationships aren't a cure for loneliness and staying married just because you don't want to be alone is meaningless.
3. You're with the wrong person
You can't be in a romantic relationship with just anyone, you have to choose a partner who is compatible with you and who reciprocates your feelings for them.
If you find yourself with someone who ticks all the boxes on your list yet you don't have any sparks when you're with them, there's no point ignoring your feelings. Having no sparks is a valid reason to get up and leave your current relationship.
Even if you notice tiny issues about a person that make you uncomfortable (like a difference in interests), you can choose to leave. It's meaningless to stay in a relationship that you are not enjoying.
4. The relationship is one-sided
Everyone knows that being in a one-sided relationship can be hell on earth. It's very exhausting to be with someone who keeps taking from you and hardly contributes anything to your life. Likewise, it's unfulfilling to remain in bad relationships where your spouse is investing more and you don't have the drive or desire to equally contribute.
Both parties in a marriage, for example, ought to enjoy sharing with each other. Sharing moments, material things, goals, and even responsibilities. If you notice that your spouse has no interest in sharing these things with you, then there's no point in that marriage.
5. You can't be yourself around your spouse
There's nothing more fulfilling or more satisfying than being with someone who loves and respects you just the way you are. Being with a person you can't be yourself around, is uncomfortable and simply futile.
Do you find yourself holding back when you're around your spouse? You don't feel comfortable being silly and goofy around them and you can't tell your corny jokes to them. You always feel like you have to look and act a certain way just to be in their good books.
This is not real love and you deserve better.
6. You're simply not happy
An unhappy relationship is a pointless relationship and that's on period! Everyone deserves happiness whether they're single or not. It's silly to get married and become miserable instead of living happily as a single person.
There's this faulty narrative that has been around for a while. This false narrative has convinced young women that serious relationships aren't supposed to be completely blissful. They make you believe that you're only meant to enjoy a few happy moments with your spouse, then remain miserable the rest of the time.
This could not be further from the truth, in fact, it’s a major reason why marriages end. If your relationship isn't putting you in a happy state and your emotional level doesn’t match that of your spouse, then there's no point in it.
7. You have no support from your spouse
It's hard enough to support yourself as an individual, you don't need an outside force pulling you down and ruining the progress you've managed to achieve so far. If your relationship does not help you in this aspect, then it's meaningless.
Being with the right person who supports you all around and gives you that extra push when you're scared or unmotivated is a wonderful thing. Not everyone in a committed relationship has this kind of support from their spouse, but it's expected.
If you aren't getting this kind of support from your spouse or if you don't feel the drive to support him and encourage him, then you should consider leaving.
8. You don't feel worthy
Building self-worth takes a lot of effort. Living in a world where you constantly have to prove yourself to people, institutions, and society. You don't need anything or anyone else making you doubt yourself.
If your spouse constantly makes you feel like you need to prove yourself then you need to get away from him and fast!. A good partner will spend time helping you realize how valuable you are and will encourage you to live a happy life.
9. Your partner is toxic for you
Some people are under the impression that a toxic partner will magically change after a while. In real life (not the movies), this does not always happen. If your partner treats you with disrespect or triggers any unhealthy attitudes in you, then you should start packing your bags immediately.
In recent times we've realized how important mental health is. This is why toxic relationships are being flagged as extremely dangerous, compared to how they were perceived some years back.
Spending time with a toxic person is not only time-wasting but also life-threatening; you don't want to get yourself tangled in all of that. So, if you realize at some point that things are getting toxic for both of you, it's best to say goodbye and seek help immediately.
10. You're afraid you’ll never find true love
Many young people battle with this fear on a daily basis; the fear of being alone forever is very common. This fear is what drives people to commit to partners who don't have genuine feelings for them.
The fear of being single forever should never be your motivation to start dating. In fact, fear should never be your motivation for anything. Rather, you should deal with that fear first, really ask yourself what could be the worst-case scenario, then decide if it's really worth getting upset over.
The truth is, it's way better to remain single and happy than to get boo’d up and miserable. Realizing this may help you deal with your worries. However, the chances of you remaining single forever are quite slim; you will find the right person eventually. So don't settle for that unsatisfying relationship, aim for true happiness.
11. You don't want to make selfish decisions
Newsflash; you matter too! Making decisions that would benefit you does not make you a selfish person, it just means that you're aware of your humanity and you deserve good things too.
Lots of women neglect their own needs and also accept neglect from their partners all because they don't want to be selfish. They ignore the discomfort gnawing at them and remain unsatisfied because they're concerned about their partner's feelings and well-being.
This is the wrong way to look at things! You need to remind yourself that your feelings matter too and remaining with your partner despite your dissatisfaction is unfair to your spouse too. He deserves to be with someone who enjoys his company.
12. Relationships aren’t everything
It's important to remind yourself that a relationship is just one major aspect of living, it's not the only thing we need to focus on. If it's taking too much of your energy and you're getting very little back, then it’s truly not worth it.
At this point, you can choose to shift your energy and attention to other areas of your life for a while. Let yourself heal in that area while you build yourself in other areas. This way you will gain clarity about what you want out of your marriage and what you're willing to deal with.
Also, remember that you aren't a failure just because you haven't been very lucky in the romantic aspect of your life; a relationship is not like a career where the work you put in directly translates to the results you get. Sometimes, even though you do everything right, things still don't work out. It's not our fault!
13. Being with the wrong person is stressful
Being with the wrong person is just plain stressful. As mentioned above, your input will hardly ever match the output you receive. When you keep investing so much in things that aren't paying back, you're at a high risk of burnout.
A bad relationship will inevitably stress you and going through this stress for nothing is insane. Life is stressful enough, you don't need more stress from a partner who's meant to bring you peace.
The answer is no. Women who’ve been with partners who have undermined them and given them bad experiences are convinced that all romantic relations will eventually end. However, this is not true. Some relationships are quite meaningful and often lead to a beautiful future when the right factors are in place.
When people think of relationships from a logical standpoint as opposed to thinking of them from an emotional and spiritual perspective, it may seem like they are overrated. Also, if you want to be with someone for the primary purpose of showing them off, then eventually committing to that person will end up seeming overrated to you.
Being in a relationship is worth it only if you're lucky enough to meet someone you're compatible with, and who is as committed as you are to making things work. If you're both dating each other just because you're physically attracted to each other, then it's truly going to be pointless.
Yes, they are an important part of a person's life. Parent-children, teacher-student, boss-employee, and peer-peer relations all matter. Romantic relations matter too. Apart from the fact that these associations lead to a marriage, which in turn leads to the formation of the family unit, they're essential for making the world a less drab place to exist in.
It all depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. If your expectations are realistic then you're likely to have good and meaningful connections. Also, if you have a goal; a reason you're entering into that relationship, then your relationship won't be a waste of time.
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, not all romantic relationships are a waste of time, just ensure that you choose a partner who is right for you. Please let us know what you think about this article in the comment section below and remember to share it with friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.