Ever looked at a couple you like and just thought ‘goals!?’
It could be one of those airtight celebrity relationships, your mutuals on social media, or even one as close-by as your parents. Though not always the glamour fest #relationshipgoals is made out to be on Insta, actual relationship goals are a thing, and all the healthy couples have them.
Since relationships are as unique as the people involved, we all have varying ideas on what we term as goals. For most people, they fall under broad categories like emotional, financial, sexual, and physical goals. But at their core, these ideals are just there to guide you and your partner towards a deeper, more meaningful partnership.
The idea of relationship goals isn’t to fit the couple in a box. On the contrary, they are supposed to inspire you, give you something to build on, and look forward to accomplishing with your significant other. Whether you are just starting out, or are in a long-term relationship, here are some goals that you and your SO can set your sights on.
- 1 37 Realistic Relationship Goals
- 1.1 1. Get better at communication
- 1.2 2. Argue constructively
- 1.3 3. Support each other fiercely
- 1.4 4. Maintain an appreciative attitude
- 1.5 5. Get fit together
- 1.6 6. …and also the bag
- 1.7 7. Make healthier choices
- 1.8 8. Stay active in the bedroom
- 1.9 9. Keep the humor alive
- 1.10 10. Friends and lovers for life
- 1.11 11. Partners consciously maintain their individuality
- 1.12 12. …yet the relationship remains a priority
- 1.13 13. Maintaining mutual respect
- 1.14 14. Live in a world of your own
- 1.15 15. See the world together
- 1.16 16. Grow together mentally
- 1.17 17. Remain a team
- 1.18 18. Always make time for quality time
- 1.19 19. Do not go a day without contact
- 1.20 20. Keep things fresh with each other
- 1.21 21. Never say never
- 1.22 22. Resolve issues before going to bed
- 1.23 23. Celebrate milestones
- 1.24 24. Check-in with one another regularly
- 1.25 25. Honesty and openness
- 1.26 26. Trust and loyalty
- 1.27 27. Be comfortable enough to share fears and insecurities
- 1.28 28. Understand one another’s love language better
- 1.29 29. Build a relationship with each other’s loved ones
- 1.30 30. Consistently enjoy each other’s company
- 1.31 31. Ride out storms together
- 1.32 32. Be your partner’s safe zone and vice versa
- 1.33 33. Ask for help when you need it
- 1.34 34. Go through your bucket list together
- 1.35 35. Forgive each other
- 1.36 36. Prepare for the future
- 1.37 37. Never lose sight of the big picture
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
37 Realistic Relationship Goals
1. Get better at communication
Improving your communication skills should be a life goal, not just something you hope to achieve in a romantic relationship. But not to digress, most of the issues couples face, from the little things you always argue about to the big, bad sore points, stem from miscommunication.
Imagine a place where conflict doesn’t come between you and the one you love—where you can both express your needs with each side feeling heard and understood. That place, where partners listen to each other, rather than just hear, is undoubtedly one to aim for, wouldn’t you say?
2. Argue constructively
Have you ever been in one of those fierce arguments where you just want to teach your partner a lesson, irrespective of the consequences on your relationship? If yes, doing better at your fights should be a goal for your relationship.
You can definitely pass your grievances across without using hurtful words. It should always, always be you and your SO against whatever it is you’re fighting about, and not you vs. them. In other words, you are not really arguing against each other, but against the cause of your problems. Argue to fix the problem, not to win or get even.
3. Support each other fiercely
This is a cliché, I know, but I also think it is for a reason. In case you’re not aware of this, you wield a significant amount of influence on your partner. Your support can make all the difference in the world to them, even though you’re just one person. And it goes both ways.
Don’t just strive to move your relationship forward; support each other as you do individually as well.
4. Maintain an appreciative attitude
It’s all too easy to get so used to your partner that the things you’re usually grateful for turn into expectations, especially in long-term relationships. Make it a point not to let entitlement erode your relationship.
Thank your partner when they do something thoughtful. Value their effort even when the results aren’t yet evident. This is how couples feel appreciated and energized to get even better years down the line.
5. Get fit together
Now here is a goal you can post online and feel great about. What’s that they say about couples who sweat together? Ah yes, they stay together. Imagine all the ways you can connect with your partner if you make them your gym buddy? Your individual motivations will rub off on each other, and what is better than that?
Whether it is to lose or gain weight, carve your dream bods, or unlock a new level of fitness, one person doesn’t have to leave the other behind. Doing it with your biggest source of emotional support can undoubtedly keep you motivated and accountable.
6. …and also the bag
Modern couples are all about equality. We’re gradually emerging from an era where one partner relies solely on the other to meet their financial needs. Unless the traditional way is what you prefer, you can make it a goal with your partner to keep yourselves inspired as you each secure the bag.
Having multiple sources of income keeps the pressure off of one person and therefore saves you most of the arguments that may result from there.
7. Make healthier choices
Another relationship goal is to be more conscious of your choices. Whether that means eating healthier, drinking or smoking less, or taking wellness more seriously in general. Like I mentioned earlier, committing to self-improvement can be a lot easier when the person closest to you is also in it with you. Try out a new diet with each other, or lead a more active life together; it’s easier that way.
You don’t want to let them down and don’t want them to lose interest, so you both keep at it, for your greater good.
8. Stay active in the bedroom
Maintaining a thriving physical connection is a relationship goal I’m sure many couples have on their list. It’s why some people don’t even bother with commitment because they think sex gets boring with the same person as time goes by. To them, it has to be, or healthy long-term relationships would be too good to be true.
While the newness and sense of variety you enjoy when you start sleeping with your partner may fade over time, excelling at communication and open-mindedness can indeed keep the spark burning. And yes, implementing one goal can improve your odds of reaching many others.
9. Keep the humor alive
Ask any old couple you know for their secret to staying happy together for so long, and their response will likely have to do with making each other laugh. As is usually the case during the honeymoon phase, your partner’s existence is enough to leave you feeling all giddy and excited.
But as those early months pass and you settle into the less exciting routine that is real life, being able to crack each other up always comes in handy. I’ve heard it reduces stress and can improve your odds of staying together by a mile. Make it one of your goals to laugh with one another as often as possible.
10. Friends and lovers for life
Friendship should definitely be a goal for all couples, especially those in a long-term relationship. Not everyone subscribes to making sure their partner double as a best friend, but you should at least be friends.
This way, you can see each other in your most natural form without fearing that they’ll stop being into you. Love and romance are amazing, but there’ll be days when you struggle with loving your SO. When that happens, it is imperative that you can, at least, like each other.
11. Partners consciously maintain their individuality
As romantic as ‘two becoming one’ sounds, following that ideology through and through doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. You’re two different people who fell in love and decided to build something together.
While investing yourself into nurturing that togetherness is advised, it shouldn’t be at the expense of your own identity. As much as you should spend time together regularly, opt for some time apart now and then.
Aim for balance by making time for yourself and encouraging your partner to do the same. Establish personal space, and be each okay with doing you.
12. …yet the relationship remains a priority
Again, finding the balance between investing yourself into building what you have and maintaining your own identity should be the real relationship goal. You shouldn’t use one as an excuse to neglect the other.
Your lives do not have to revolve around each other, as the honeymoon phase might have you think. But your relationship should still be top of your concerns. Since your relationship goals tend to become intertwined, it is only fair that you always consider how your decisions affect the other person and your situation before making them.
13. Maintaining mutual respect
For obvious reasons, when we hear relationship goals, we think of hashtags and tangible accomplishments. However, sometimes it looks like understanding and mutual respect.
Familiarity can make us drop the ball regarding the other person’s beliefs, opinions, and boundaries with reverence, particularly in a long-term relationship.
Being able to say no to your partner when what you want doesn't align without consequences is one goal we probably don't talk about enough in romantic partnerships.
14. Live in a world of your own
Ah, the land of knowing looks and inside jokes, with your own thing, and little couple rituals. Even when single, many of us look forward to a relationship where we can sort of have a world of our own with this other person we love so much.
Someone with whom you can feel gloriously naked yet covered. Where we share the most intimate details about ourselves, and they do the same. A place where we make memories and connections away from the rest of the world. Your very own couple bubble.
15. See the world together
As magical as it sounds to be able to withdraw into your little couple cave with your partner, you should also aim to balance it by exploring the outside world. Create new memories by going on adventures together, whatever that means to you.
For some couples, it’s traveling. For others, it’s visiting places like museums, libraries, zoos, etc., and taking in the sights together. Just try to do what feels good for both of you and not just what one person enjoys.
16. Grow together mentally
Growing together is easily top five amongst what you’d hear if you asked committed couples about their relationship goals. No one wants to be left behind; we all want to be seen making progress.
Unfortunately, many people miss it by focusing mostly on physical and financial growth when it is just as essential, if not more, to build the mental. Enriching the mind can help you and your partner learn better ways to love each other and keep up with the times by unlearning what no longer works.
17. Remain a team
If you like the idea of you and your partner against the world, then being a team should be among your relationship goals. Sure, you will disagree on a lot, but as I said about arguments, it should be you two against the obstacles, always, that’s the embodiment of couple goals.
Hold yourselves accountable and be honest with each other. Respect your relationship enough not to ridicule it or your partner in front of outsiders. Compromise, make decisions together, support yourself, and share the good and the bad times as a team. Now those are couple goals you should not miss out on.
18. Always make time for quality time
Whether quality time is your primary love language or not, I’m sure you don’t need to be told that a relationship requires attention to grow. Making your love life a priority is actively integrating it into your schedule rather than treating it as a convenience. In other words, a text message every two days is not the stuff committed relationships are made of.
Be intentional about spending time together away from distractions as often as you can manage. If you’re both so busy, you can’t afford random hookups, establish a routine that works, like date nights, and make sure to stick to it.
19. Do not go a day without contact
If you can, of course. Dressing up for dates and grand romantic gestures are some of the best things in life if we’re being honest. They make us feel special and loved, and everyone deserves that now and then.
However, it’s what we do in between those occasional gestures that feed the connection. The way you carry each other along and know what’s going on with the other person. No one expects you to talk to your S.O. every minute, but contact in every relationship shouldn’t be a once-in-a-blue-moon event either. Even if it’s a text message to say how much you miss them, keep the togetherness alive.
20. Keep things fresh with each other
The whole idea of relationship goals is to maintain freshness in your love life. It doesn’t matter if you’ve only been with your partner for six months, without that sense of novelty, it can be all too easy to fall into a rut.
Though you’ll likely have several uneventful periods, you should also endeavor to keep wooing your partner. Plan dates as you did at the beginning, try new things, surprise them once in a while, and never underestimate the power of spontaneity.
21. Never say never
You may not fully understand how and why some things happen the way they do in relationships, but until you do, don’t say never. Being open-minded is subjective, and frankly, easier said than done.
But if you can make it a goal to try something at least once with your partner before kicking it, you may just learn something. And what’s the worst that can happen, really? If it flops, that’s just one more story to tell later.
22. Resolve issues before going to bed
Old lovers like this particular advice, so much so that it’s become somewhat of a cliché. However, not only does this make sense on a surface level, but science also backs it up with some evidence of its own.
Apparently, going to bed mad can make your brain reorganize all the bad thoughts into something worse – resentment. Unless you’re going to pretend you’ve never had an annoyance you didn’t resolve metamorphose into something worse, you’ll agree there’s some merit to making this one of your relationship goals.
23. Celebrate milestones
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, having a successful relationship is a big deal. We tend to downplay what we would usually celebrate other people for when they happen to us. Or maybe that’s just me.
In addition to the feel-good aspect, marking and celebrating the milestones in your relationship can help you and your partner look back and appreciate how far you’ve come. Sometimes, that “we really did this” sense is all you need to face the future reenergized and willing to do more.
24. Check-in with one another regularly
You can’t always speak to another person’s state of mind, even if your S.O. is indeed the bone of your bone. Don’t assume things are smooth sailing just because your partner isn’t complaining; ask to see if they’re as happy in the relationship as you are.
Enhance intimacy by taking the time to make sure you and your partner are still on the same page. This will not only help minimize conflict but also improve all-around satisfaction in your partnership.
25. Honesty and openness
Getting to a place where you do not have to lie to your partner to keep the peace is certainly a top one among relationship goals. Take those things that lovers usually fight about, like money and sex, for instance, and you’ll see the problem always stems from someone hiding something.
Be as transparent as you can be about these sore points, and your relationship will be better for it.
26. Trust and loyalty
Trust is the foundation of any worthwhile partnership, including romantic ones. As long as a healthy relationship remains the goal, trusting each other cannot be overemphasized.
The idea isn’t to snoop through your partner’s phone forever or be on edge every time they talk to other women. When this pillar of confidence in your partner is concrete, things like loyalty and emotional security naturally follow.
That stage of emotional intimacy where you’re not afraid to be vulnerable with your significant other sounds like an excellent place to be, right? Being able to be my real self, insecurities, and all, around someone I love is right up there for me among relationship goals.
This is another area where trust and effective communication come into play because we cannot fully unlock this level of vulnerability with someone else without them.
28. Understand one another’s love language better
Different people have their preferences when it comes to expressing and receiving affection. Instead of taking it on a surface level that your partner is partial to gifting, why not make it a point to understand why?
Do you know why your man values physical touch above all else or if he gets why you feel most loved when he performs acts of service for you? Understanding these things about yourselves can take your relationship several steps forward in terms of emotional connection.
29. Build a relationship with each other’s loved ones
Once you agree to be in a committed relationship with someone, you become a larger part of their life sooner or later. Seeing as most people have loved ones in their circle before finding love, it naturally follows that they want to integrate both sides.
Relationship goals in that context would include not just meeting your partner’s family and friends but also for them to accept you as one of them.
30. Consistently enjoy each other’s company
Having established that your love life won’t always be exciting, the ability to have fun doing mundane things together is #goals too. Life will happen, you’ll encounter other people in and out of the workplace, friends will come and go.
But at the end of the day, being able to look forward to going home to your SO, to laugh at and with each other is certainly something to work towards.
31. Ride out storms together
We often look forward to riding off into the sunset and living happily ever after with the one we love. Unfortunately, life is hardly ever all-good. Most times, we have to take the good with the bad.
When these inevitable tough times come, do you see yourself sticking it out with your partner? Do you see them doing the same for you? If no, and the hope is to be together forever, it might be time to update your list of relationship goals.
32. Be your partner’s safe zone and vice versa
A place where lovers can express themselves without judgment is what you should strive to make your relationship. Aspire to be the first person your man thinks of when he’s sad and depressed and not just when he has great news.
You also should be able to go to him at your worst in hopes of feeling better. This doesn’t happen overnight and should absolutely be a goal you both work toward.
33. Ask for help when you need it
Sometimes, things get out of hand. Some people advise never to give up on your partner no matter what. It might be a good idea to leave room for some exceptions, but don’t let go if something can still be done.
There’s no harm in seeking refuge in counseling if you notice you’re both dropping the ball, but please ensure you go to the right place.
34. Go through your bucket list together
By and large, experiencing life together is what relationships are about. Who says you can’t have wild fun with your partner once you decide to get serious? If you have a list of things you’d like to achieve, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making your partner a part of it and doing what you can together.
35. Forgive each other
Coming from different backgrounds, it is virtually impossible not to step on your partner’s toes now and then. Overlooking petty annoyances won’t always be as easy as it is in the honeymoon stage, but you can make forgiveness a goal you actively strive toward instead of letting things pile.
36. Prepare for the future
By all means, live in the moment. However, you should also invest in your future together if you plan on having one. Financially, spend prudently and save for rainy days.
But also, do not forget that emotional investments are just as crucial. Attend couple’s seminars, discuss your long- and short-term prospects, and set boundaries between partner and family. Basically, start working towards the future you want now.
37. Never lose sight of the big picture
Perhaps the most important of relationship goals is to always let the endgame be your guide. But then, do you even know what that is for you two? If no, the first step should be figuring that out.
The big picture is the future – the overarching idea of why you’re together. Whether that is primarily for companionship or childrearing in your case, setting your eyes on it can help you get through the most challenging moments you’ll face in your relationship.
What we consider important in a relationship may vary according to what the people involved hope to gain by being together. However, things like trust, communication, emotional security, honesty, happiness, and intimacy are essential in romantic relationships.
You can strengthen the love in your relationship by creating an environment where both parties can freely express themselves without judgment. Have a life outside of your partner but make your partnership a priority. Embrace vulnerability, express affection the way your partner prefers, spice up your sex life, and don’t be afraid to get silly together. Relationships should be as fun as they are serious.
The definition of a good relationship will vary from couple to couple, but a general idea is one in which both parties’ needs are satisfied. A situation where you and your partner have mutual respect, sexual satisfaction, safety, love, trust, happiness, and growth. In relationships, these are standard things people want.
Men want someone to love and to love them back. They want a partner they can be vulnerable with after a long day of being strong. They want an understanding partner who respects them and inspires them to be better. Guys also want great sex and a SO who doesn’t mind going the extra mile to give it.
At the end of the day, women just want someone with whom they can share the most intimate parts of themselves without being judged. In a relationship, they need attention, respect, and to feel wanted by their partner. A woman wants someone she can dedicate herself to without having to hold back for fear of being taken for granted.
I hope you found this rather informative and that you had fun reading. Again, you don’t have to take these relationship goals verbatim. It cannot be the same in all relationships, so simply pick what you find useful and share the post for others to do the same. Also, feel free to start a conversation about relationship goals or share some of yours in the comment section below.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.