Are you suddenly having relationship doubts? Did your relationship take an unusual turn making you fear that things won’t succeed?
If your answer is yes, we understand how you feel. Realize that it’s typical to doubt your partner or the relationship. This is a common occurrence in most relationships that become long-term.
The worst you can do is to ignore the signs because they’ll inevitably come to light as time goes on. In this article, we’ll reveal how to deal with the doubt you’re having.
Even so, we’ll decipher if your doubt is manageable or something you need to share with your partner desperately. Below are thirty-one concerns you shouldn’t neglect in your romantic relationship.
- 1 31 Relationship Doubts You Should Never Ignore
- 1.1 1. Is my partner being honest?
- 1.2 2. Is my partner still attracted to me?
- 1.3 3. Do we have the same goals?
- 1.4 4. Do we have the same values?
- 1.5 5. Does my partner make me feel insignificant?
- 1.6 6. Is my partner faithful?
- 1.7 7. Can I remain faithful?
- 1.8 8. Does my partner act well in public?
- 1.9 9. Is it hard for my partner to forgive me?
- 1.10 10. Does he handle his anger well?
- 1.11 11. Is he too good to be true?
- 1.12 12. Does he prioritize quality time?
- 1.13 13. Are you attracted to other people?
- 1.14 14. Is he chatting with his ex too often?
- 1.15 15. I overthink everything. Will it affect my relationship?
- 1.16 16. Should I neglect my partner’s flirting?
- 1.17 17. The relationship is imperfect. Can it still work?
- 1.18 18. Will we have a poor sex life during our marriage?
- 1.19 19. Will I always stand by my partner’s side?
- 1.20 20. Will he back up my career goals?
- 1.21 21. His mum doesn’t like me. Should I continue in the relationship?
- 1.22 22. Can my partner love me unconditionally?
- 1.23 23. Do we have the same spending habits?
- 1.24 24. Are our arguments healthy?
- 1.25 25. Why do I get uncomfortable around his female friends?
- 1.26 26. Is there a deal-breaker in the relationship?
- 1.27 27. Does your partner make you grow?
- 1.28 28. My previous partner betrayed me. How do I stop it from affecting my present relationship?
- 1.29 29. How does your partner make you feel?
- 1.30 30. Do you bring equal things to the table?
- 1.31 31. Do we want the same things?
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
31 Relationship Doubts You Should Never Ignore
1. Is my partner being honest?
One of the most common relationship doubts is whether or not your partner is being honest with you. This situation can arise if your partner was dishonest in times past. Peradventure, he wasn’t truthful about where he went the previous night. You’ll unconsciously begin to doubt all other claims he makes. Once trust breaks, it’s usually hard to rebuild.
Nevertheless, if anything has caused you to be suspicious of your partner, it’s essential to talk to him about it instead of remaining paranoid. Tell him you weren’t pleased with his untruthfulness and that it’s causing you to be suspicious. Listen to what he says, and, thereafter, make your observations to ensure the relationship is indeed worthwhile.
2. Is my partner still attracted to me?
Another major worry you might face at some point in your relationship is whether or not your partner is still attracted to you. Studies show that partners inevitably see their significant others in a different light after the honeymoon stage fades, Nevertheless, they’ll have to make a conscious decision to retain their attraction and affection towards their partners.
Therefore, our emotions can flare up when a significant other doesn’t pay as much interest as they did before. This scenario will unconsciously lead to fear. This is a factor you shouldn't ignore. Try to gauge your partner’s attraction by watching his words and actions. If he remains unmoved for a certain period, you should consider talking to him about it.
3. Do we have the same goals?
It’s normal to worry whether you and your partner are on the same page. This happens because the way you envision the future needs to align with your partner’s own, especially if you plan to spend your life with him. You might want different things, but your destinations have to resonate with one another.
This process is the only way to avoid having conflict as time goes on. If you want a huge family, but your partner wants a small one or doesn’t even want kids, it’s essential to talk about it. Your relationship might be great, but these doubts would inevitably come to light. Understand that you shouldn’t have to compromise your happiness merely to keep a partner.
4. Do we have the same values?
Another doubt that can arise between couples is the subject of core values. This factor can easily get anyone afraid that they aren’t with the right person. For example, if you believe in working to make ends meet, but your partner believes in getting things on a platter of gold, things will be uneasy in the relationship.
In such a scenario, it’s critical to pay attention to the fear you’re having. More importantly, it’s necessary to have a conversation with your partner about it. Some factors can be managed, but if most of your ethics don’t align, it might hint at the fact that you’re not compatible with each other.
5. Does my partner make me feel insignificant?
While it’s necessary to look at the bigger picture in every relationship, it’s also important to pay attention to the smaller details and your partner’s ability to treat and talk to you right.
For example, you should consider how your partner talks to you. Is he demeaning? Does he use undignifying words on you? Does he make you feel insignificant? These are questions you should ask yourself and give honest answers.
Most times, it’s easy to let our emotions dismiss the facts about our partner’s true character. Nevertheless, talking to people about it can help you see things from a clearer perspective. You should consider seeing a therapist or speaking to your family so that you can make the best decision.
6. Is my partner faithful?
This factor is one of the most common relationship doubts that arise in relationships. We all come to one point where we feel our significant other might be cheating. Nevertheless, when this situation arises, it’s crucial to gauge where the fear is coming from.
Sometimes, it could be a result of our insecurities. Other times, we could be doubting our partners because trust is already broken in the relationship. In the most obvious scenarios, our partners could be acting shady, causing us to become suspicious.
Whichever the case may be, it’s crucial to talk to a trusted friend, and then your partner about it, which will help you get to the bottom of things.
7. Can I remain faithful?
Someone can doubt themselves more than they disbelieve their partners. One of the most common factors is whether they can remain faithful in the relationship. If your partner isn’t the problem, and you can’t help but envision yourself with another person, then you need to address the situation.
Having second thoughts about remaining faithful is a major concern. You shouldn’t be in an exclusive relationship if you’re likely to hurt the other person. Communication is vital in such a scenario to ensure your partner’s expectations aren’t too high. More so, it will help both of you work on the relationship or take a break if it is necessary.
8. Does my partner act well in public?
If your partner makes unnecessary or offensive jokes about you in public, it’s certainly something to pay attention to. More so, if he ignores you or doesn’t want others to see you with him, it’s something you should worry about. In these cases, never let your emotions sway you from the reality of your partner’s character.
Relationships, where partners have no respect for each other, are inevitably toxic, and you should pay attention if yours is becoming one. Speaking up is the only vital way to prevent things from getting worse. More so, honest communication with your family can give you the courage to end things if necessary.
9. Is it hard for my partner to forgive me?
It’s critical to feel safe in your relationship. If you doubt your partner will forget about the past and is likely to use it against you, you should talk to him about it. Keeping grudges is the easiest way to tear a relationship apart. Therefore, if your partner is too cold-hearted, you need to address the situation sooner than later.
Observe how he acts when you offend him. If you apologize, does he easily accept it? Does he warm up to you quickly afterward or does he throw tantrums and give you the silent treatment? This behavior can lead to long-term emotional abuse where you have to consistently appease your partner before he forgives you. Therefore, you shouldn’t neglect the signs.
10. Does he handle his anger well?
It’s natural to worry about an angry partner because they tend to become volatile as time goes on. Anger is a common emotion, but how a person caters to that feeling makes the difference. Therefore, if your partner can’t withhold their frustration and always seems to pass it on to you, it’s something to think about.
Understand that relationships, where a partner’s rage can’t be tamed, tend to become physically abusive. Therefore, uncontrollable anger is indeed a warning sign. You should take immediate action or speak to a therapist for professional advice. More so, getting help from trusted friends or loved ones would be highly beneficial.
11. Is he too good to be true?
Every relationship (regardless of whether it’s an old or new relationship) has its shortcomings and most times, we’re usually aware of them. We tend to know our partner’s flaws, and they usually admit their errors too. This scenario is why having a seemingly perfect partner is somewhat suspicious.
If they fit all your requirements and always know the right things to say to make you happy, you should doubt their authenticity.
Most times, we feel it in our gut that things are shady. If you’re in this dilemma, it’s natural to monitor your fear. Try to find out if your partner is truly hiding something. You can do this by doing a background check (not necessarily snooping through his phone), or asking your trusted friend for their opinion.
12. Does he prioritize quality time?
You might inevitably have relationship doubts when your partner is negligent to spend quality time with you. This process doesn’t entail merely spending time as a couple, but building an emotional connection. You need to ask yourself questions like: Does he ask you how your day went, with a zeal to hear you talk about it?
Does he listen when you speak? Is he only thrilled to speak about himself? If you realize that emotional communication is one-sided, then your fear is justified. Your partner shouldn’t allow you to do all the work in the relationship while they reap the benefit. Therefore, you should speak up about it.
13. Are you attracted to other people?
You might be faithful to your partner with no zeal to cheat on him. Nevertheless, if you’re constantly getting attracted to other people, it should be a cause for concern. This behavior shows that there’s a void in your relationship that your partner is not filling. Even so, it means that he’s not meeting certain expectations.
These factors can create doubt about the authenticity of the relationship. Are you with your partner because you genuinely love and are satisfied with him? Or are you with him merely because you enjoy your relationship with him? These are the questions to ask yourself. More so, you should consider speaking to your partner about these lapses.
14. Is he chatting with his ex too often?
Another thing that can cause people to have second thoughts about their relationships is their partner maintaining a connection with their exes. Sometimes, our insecurities can get the best of us and cause us to make irrational judgments. Therefore, it’s necessary to observe if the relationship is truly out of hand.
Does he hide information from you? Does he sometimes neglect your needs to cater to hers? If yes, then doubting his motives is plausible. You should try to get to the bottom of the situation, without necessarily snooping through his private chats. Tell him to be more open about his relationship with her. If he refuses, then you know what to do.
15. I overthink everything. Will it affect my relationship?
Overthinking tends to give people a biased judgment about matters. This is because it’s the root cause of worry and more doubts in relationships. This notion doesn’t suggest that you shouldn’t think about your partner’s actions. On the contrary, if you have a problem with overthinking things, you should let your partner know beforehand.
This process will help you become more honest about your uncertainties before they create a negative impression in your head. It will also help your partner avoid getting offended by your claims. He’ll understand that you might need reassurance from time to time. More so, he might be more willing to work towards helping you overcome your struggles in the relationship.
16. Should I neglect my partner’s flirting?
If your partner flirts with other women, you’ll certainly have doubts about him. Nevertheless, it’s crucial to gauge the intensity of his actions. Does he do it frequently? Was it just a one-time thing? Was it severe or mild? Are you mistaking flirting for sheer kindness? Questions like these will give you a clearer picture of whether you should be doubting him or not.
Whether things are severe or not, you should communicate your displeasure to your partner. If he’s defensive about the act, it should call for concern. More so, if he persists, you shouldn't neglect it further because it will only cause more problems. It’s crucial to know your limits and what you can’t tolerate in your romantic relationship.
17. The relationship is imperfect. Can it still work?
Understand that there’s no perfect relationship. You’ll have doubts in your relationships because it’s merely the order of life. The most important thing is having a partner that is willing to work on the relationship and build it into what it needs to be. Nevertheless, there are certain forms of incompatibility that you shouldn’t neglect.
For example, when your partner’s values and goals don't agree with yours. Even so, when you have to compromise too much to keep the relationship sailing. In times like these, your doubt is valid. Have a conversation with your partner and gauge their willfulness to make things better. This process will help you understand if the relationship is truly worthwhile or not.
18. Will we have a poor sex life during our marriage?
Discrediting your partner’s abilities in bed happens in most relationships. Certain factors can cause you to feel your partner won’t match your sexual temperature. More so, that it would affect the relationship when you eventually get married to them. Although these worries are justifiable, most of them can be solved if both partners are willing to work.
You can both decide to try out new things to spice up bedroom activities if such a scenario as unmatched sexual temperature occurs. The more both of you are willing to remain flexible, the more you can combat a sexless marriage in the future. Therefore, these are the subjects you should speak to your partner about.
19. Will I always stand by my partner’s side?
In the early stage of a relationship, it’s easy to back up your partner. However, your feelings might change when storms arise. It’s natural to doubt your capacity to always stand by your partner, which is why you need to ask yourself whether they’re truly the one for you. Will you still be attracted to them after many years? Will the difficult times change how you feel?
If you’re uncertain, then it hints that your partner might be the wrong person for you. You need to be with someone you’ll choose to love every day, especially when the honeymoon stage fades. This will clear your doubts and make the relationship blossom.
20. Will he back up my career goals?
Achieving your ambitions is as necessary as finding a great person to spend the rest of your life with. You can’t achieve one without the other, or you might end up feeling unfulfilled. Therefore, doubting your ability to have the two is valid. Your partner should be supportive enough to let you achieve your goals while sustaining a beautiful relationship.
Nevertheless, if you doubt your partner’s capacity to back you up, you should speak to him about it. Don’t assume your partner will automatically help you. This is a common mistake people make in their relationships. It’s more ideal to have your uncertainness cleared rather than assuming things.
21. His mum doesn’t like me. Should I continue in the relationship?
If your partner’s parents don't agree to the relationship, it can cause a great deal of uncertainty for the future. You’ll disbelieve that a successful marriage will ever happen. The most important factor to pay attention to if you’re in this situation is if your partner loves and supports you. If the answer is yes, then it should ease your doubt.
Nevertheless, if you’re dating a guy who always adheres to his mother’s instructions without contemplation, you should think about the relationship carefully. Such a man won’t be supportive till the end and is likely to take sides with his parents at a certain point.
22. Can my partner love me unconditionally?
Most people love their partners for specific reasons. It could be fr their physical features, character, or even financial stability. These factors, however, tend to fade with time. You won’t always retain your youthful glow or have the best character in the world, which is why you can have doubts about your partner loving you then.
The best way to tell is if they mostly embrace your great sides more than your bad ones. Are they more supportive when you’ve appeased them, than when you fail to meet certain requirements? If yes, then it should be a cause for concern. A healthy relationship shouldn’t consist of labels but should be unconditional.
23. Do we have the same spending habits?
According to statistics, money is one of the most common reasons why couples argue in their relationships. Therefore, it’s critical to think about this subject. If you and your partner can’t agree on the best way to spend money, there’ll be serious doubts about the future. None of you will be pleased with each other. More so, there’ll be division in the relationship.
The best way to curb this fear is by discussing things with your partner. If doubts arise about your partner’s spending habits, tackle them rather than remain silent. If you feel the need to inculcate saving plans, this is the best time to voice it out. It may seem awkward but you’re unconsciously fixing an important aspect of the relationship.
24. Are our arguments healthy?
Monitoring how you fight with your partner is ideal. This is because there’ll always be disagreements between the two of you, but how you settle them is more important. If your partner’s tactics are wrong, it’s natural to doubt the success of the relationship.
It’s best to fix some of the areas you’re displeased with before they get out of hand. Your partner should understand that fights aren’t bad, but an avenue for the both of you to grow. This might help him use a better approach.
25. Why do I get uncomfortable around his female friends?
If you often get uneasy around your partner’s female friends, you need to ask yourself certain questions. Are you the jealous type? Or is there something off about his friends? Do they flirt with him? Is he too friendly around them? Are you generally uneasy about their relationship?
Questions like these will help you get to the root cause of your doubt. More so, you’ll be able to communicate your concerns to your partner. If he’s being too defensive about the topic, it should be a cause for greater doubts.
26. Is there a deal-breaker in the relationship?
Relationship doubts are crucial for any relationship because they help you put things into perspective. For example, things like deal-breakers won’t be neglected. If your partner has certain characters or values that you know you can’t tolerate, it’s necessary to admit them early on.
These factors will always be present, and acknowledging them will help you make the best decision. Therefore, paying attention to your doubts is quite valid. More so, it’s crucial to communicate your doubt to your partner to avoid leading him on for too long.
27. Does your partner make you grow?
Growth is an essential part of any relationship. Your partner should care about your future as much as you care about theirs. If this factor is missing, there’s likely to be a rift in the relationship. Therefore, if you doubt that your partner is fully concerned about your progress, you should speak up about it.
Your partner will inevitably be the major support system you’ll have. Therefore, if they still fail to back you up now, it might be a hint that you need to find someone else.
28. My previous partner betrayed me. How do I stop it from affecting my present relationship?
Old wounds from past relationships can affect a new relationship greatly. It’s necessary to heal appropriately before entering into another relationship with someone else. Nevertheless, if you find yourself still hurting from the past, it’s crucial to open up to your partner about it.
They might reassure you that they won’t hurt you, but this might not take your doubt away. Insisting on honesty and transparency can help you see things from a different perspective. More so, you can achieve growth in your romantic relationship.
29. How does your partner make you feel?
You should have relationship doubts if your partner is making you feel anything but positive emotions. If you’re always anxious or nervous when you think about him, you should pay more attention to it. Perhaps your partner has a toxic character that you haven’t noticed all this while.
It would help to pinpoint the exact reason why your partner makes you feel this way. Once you realize it, you should have a conversation with him about it. Understand that feeling anything other than positive emotions like joy or happiness towards your partner should make you doubt the relationship.
30. Do you bring equal things to the table?
Doubts about your relationship can arise if your partner is putting most of the work on you. You shouldn’t think it’s normal to be the only one providing for the family or trying to build emotional intimacy. If you’re the only one putting in the effort, you should have doubts about your partner.
Anyone that genuinely cares about you will try to make things work. On the contrary, someone with ulterior motives won’t be as invested. Therefore, it’s plausible to doubt your partner’s intentions if he behaves this way. Speak to him about it and see if he changes. If he reverts to being uninterested, it might be time to move on.
31. Do we want the same things?
Most successful relationships are built on a platter of similar goals and ambitions for the future. If you and your partner don’t want the same things, it should raise doubts about the potency of the relationship.
You might have different career paths, but your ideal vision as a couple should be similar. This is the best way to avoid friction in the future. More so, to avoid having a false idea of what things are going to be like.
Normal relationship doubts occur when a relationship is becoming long-term. You’ll think about things succeeding more than usual, which will naturally cause you to doubt some of the weak points of the relationship.
Having serious relationship doubts is something you should pay attention to. It shows there’s something haywire about the relationship that you desperately need to discuss with your partner. Neglecting your doubt doesn’t erase it but increases its propensity to affect the relationship.
Coming clean about your doubts is the best way to safeguard your romantic relationship. This process will help your partner know where the weak points are, and work towards making things better. If you keep your doubt to yourself, it will only grow over time and make you paranoid.
The best way to get rid of doubts in a relationship is to discuss them with your partner. Confessing it will allow your partner to prove himself to you. On the contrary, persistently thinking about your doubt can make you unnecessarily suspicious of him.
Some warning signs you shouldn’t neglect in your relationship are your partner’s lack of contribution to the relationship. More so, if both of you have different goals and visions, it should be a cause for concern. In other cases, if your partner is too good to be true, you should doubt their authenticity.
Did you enjoy this article on doubts you shouldn’t neglect in your relationship? The best way to build emotional intimacy in your romantic relationship is by confessing your uncertainty to your partner. Nevertheless, if they are hesitant to cooperate, you might need to consider a lot of things. Kindly leave a comment if you liked this article or share it with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.