301 Important And Necessary Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Marriage is an important part of life, and there are certain questions to ask before marriage so that you can ensure you have a successful marriage. Discussions like this aren’t the easiest things to do; however, they are very important as you need to know if your expectations of one another are aligned so that you will have a winning partnership with your spouse!

It’s better to address any issues before marriage rather than after you have become husband and wife. Once you are in a committed relationship, you’ll get the answers to these questions naturally, but what happens if you are not compatible with your spouse? There are just things you should know ahead of time. 

For example, will the two of you share a bank account? What is your relationship with your future mother-in-law like? What were your partner’s past relationships like, and why did they end? Has he or she had a divorce in the past? Do you have a shared goal for your life and marriage? How will you handle money once you are married?

Once you get married and say that marriage vows at the altar, you’ll want to know that your partner is the right one for you, the love of your life! 

Contents

What Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Knowing what questions to ask before marriage is crucial because you want to make sure you wed the right person. If you find out later on that you cannot live with them because of some difference between the two of you, you will truly regret not knowing that information sooner. This list of questions should help you determine what to ask your mate and yourself before marriage.

You’ll also probably want to think about your relationship and how compatible you are with your partner. Are you really in love? Do you think this relationship was meant to turn into a marriage one day? Can you ask your partner these questions to determine if he or she is the right person for you in the long run? Make sure you give it a shot to see what they have to say!

If you find it difficult to ask your partner questions like these (or to ask them of yourself), you may want to involve a third party. You could ask a family therapist, counselor, or psychologist to act as a mediator between the two of you so that the conversation stays on topic and doesn’t lead to an unforeseeable feud or conflict between you and the person you love.

Values And Beliefs

values and beliefs

Understanding your partner’s values and beliefs is very important because those things are what makes up a person and turn them into who they will be every day for the rest of their life. As you grow older with your partner in marriage, you will want to know what makes them tick. What makes them jump out of bed in the morning? What fuels them? What’s their driving force?

Find out what they love the most because it will be a part of your life, too! If you marry a man who is crazy about hunting, you will learn all about the gear used to camp, the equipment used to hunt down all sorts of animals, and you may even begin eating the creatures he kills. It might be gross to think that far into a hobby as you are just in a relationship.

However, in a marriage, the things that your spouse is passionate about become important to you as well. You may even start to love those things also if you find that they are the things that make your partner happy. Since you will want to have a happy marriage, you will probably want to learn about the things that make your mate happy in your relationship!

1. What are their strengths?

2. What are their weaknesses?

3. What opportunities for growth do they have?

4. What threats are there in your fiance’s life?

5. What does he or she value the most in life?

6. How strongly does he or she feel about his or her marriage vows?

7. What are his or her beliefs about the reasons couples can get divorced?

8. What is his or her passion in life?

9. Does he or she have any hobbies or interests?

10. Do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his or her love for you is real?

Life Goals 

life goals

Life goals are what fuel us; it’s the energy that drives us to do what we do every day so that we can reach them. As we strive to reach those things that are unattainable at the moment, we get frustrated and overwhelmed because they aren’t easier to grasp. As you try to go for your goals, don’t you ever feel frustration and stress because it’s not easier to get to them?

You will get very acquainted with the life goals of your partner when you are in a long-term relationship with them, like marriage. You will get used to the times when they feel stress and frustration because they might take it out on you from time to time. In a marriage, you often put the needs of your spouse first, so you may very well need to know his or her life goals!

11. What does he or she want out of life?

12. What are his or her retirement goals?

13. What are his or her career goals?

14. How does he or she want to spend the rest of his or her life?

15. What is his or her chief priority in life?

Family

family

It’s crucial that your family expectations in your relationship are aligned well and that you are compatible in this area. I once knew a couple who ended their marriage because he decided he wanted kids, and she did not. I was thinking about why they did not discuss this difference between them when they were dating – before marriage, and the topic of kids came up!

Make sure you discuss how many kids you each want and what your beliefs are when it comes to raising those kids. Does your partner believe in spanking? If you think that is wrong, you should hash out as much of the details as you can before you get married to make sure there aren’t any big differences that cannot be reconciled.

A family therapist can help the two of you sort these different parenting ideas out. You should meet with one; you may even be able to get free marriage counseling at your local church or community center. A third party like this can help you sort through your problems and determine how compatible you are and what you need to do to make things work out in the long run.

16. Does he or she want to have children?

17. How does he or she feel about the children you have?

18. Do they want to be a step-parent?

19. How many children does he or she want?

20. How does he or she want to raise your children?

21. Does he or she want a big or small family?

22. How do they want to discipline your children?

23. Does he or she want to pay for the future education of your children?

24. Does he or she want your children to be in public or private school?

25. Do you think your children would be better off being homeschooled?

26. Does your partner look forward to family events with your family?

27. Does your partner look forward to family events with his or her family?

28. How many family events will you go to per year as a couple once you get married?

29. How does your family feel about you getting married?

30. Are there any family issues your partner needs to know about?

31. Do you have family secrets you need to share with your partner?

32. What kind of relationship does your partner have with his family?

33. What kind of relationship does your partner want to have with his family?

34. What kind of relationship does your partner have with your family?

35. What kind of relationship does your partner want to have with your family?

36. Is there a family member of hers that you do not get along with?

37. Does your partner get along with his or her family?

38. Are family values important to your partner?

39. Does your partner like your family?

40. Are you having conflicts with any family members right now?

41. Does your family like your fiance?

42. Does he or she like spending time with your family?

43. Does your fiance say bad things about your family?

44. What does your family expect of your future spouse?

45. How much time does he or she spend with his or her family?

46. How do you feel about his family becoming your in-laws?

Lifestyle

lifestyle

The ins and outs of a relationship lie in the foundation of the lifestyle you have. If you don’t know much about your partner going into a marriage, you will soon learn these things because they might drive you crazy! I once dated a guy who was addicted to video games, and I knew I could never handle that in a marriage or long-term relationship because it was just too much!

I ended up leaving that relationship for other reasons, but the video game addiction was definitely a contributing factor to our incompatibility. We couldn’t just have a civil conversation when he was playing video games because his headspace was preoccupied with the football game he was playing and not what I was saying.

He had no idea how to listen to someone when they were talking. Things like this are crucial to uncovering when you are dating someone because those things don’t change when you get married. Marriage just means that you will watch them play video games, possibly even more than they did before the marriage began! If you hate something now, it’s not going to get better!

47. Is he or she a night owl or morning person?

48. Do you think your partner is smart?

49. Does your partner think you are intelligent?

50. What is your partner’s favorite thing about you?

51. What quality do you admire the most about your partner?

52. How much sleep does he or she require?

53. Do your lifestyle and values match?

54. What is your partner’s favorite color?

55. Is your partner into Dungeons and Dragons?

56. Is your partner a gamer?

57. What is your partner’s favorite television show?

58. What is your partner’s favorite movie?

59.What is your partner’s favorite movie genre?

60. Do you enjoy watching those things?

61. Do you think you can accept his or her lifestyle once you are in a marriage?

62. Is he or she a generous person, and do they enjoy doing charitable acts? How much time does he or she spend on charitable acts? Are they passionate about volunteer work, and how do you feel about that?

63. How many vacations does your partner want to go on during the year, and how do you feel about that?

64. Where does your partner enjoy vacationing the most, and do you love that place, as well?

65. Does he or she own a timeshare anywhere, and what is his or her commitment to that timeshare?

66. Does he or she have a different residence other than his or her current home?

67. What kind of weather does your partner prefer? Does he or she like it cold in the house or warm? How does this affect you?

68. Do you think your partner will want to live in the state you are currently living in forever?

69. What is your partner’s favorite type of food?

70. Do you enjoy dining out together?

71. What is your partner’s favorite meal?

72. Does your partner enjoy a home-cooked meal?

73. How often does your partner cry?

74. Have you ever seen him or her cry?

75. What caused him or her to cry?

76. What is his or her favorite time of the year?

77. Can he or she multitask, or do they prefer to work on one task at a time?

78. Are there any mental illness issues you should know about?

79. What makes your partner feel weak?

80. What makes your partner feel strong?

81. How does he or she express his or her feelings?

82. What makes your partner feel the happiest?

83. How can you best make your partner feel happy?

84. Do you handle money in the same way?

85. Who is planning to budget on a regular basis and keep track of your daily spending?

86. Who will pay the bills?

87. Who will manage the budget?

88. What does he or she love to do the most?

89. What sport is his or her favorite?

90. Do you enjoy the same sports?

91. Do you know his deepest, darkest secrets?

92. Does he or she have many secrets from the world?

93. Have you shared many of your secrets with your partner?

94. Do you have the same career goals in life?

95. Can you adjust your lifestyle to accommodate your partner’s career goals?

96. How does he think a husband should behave in marriage?

97. How does she think a wife should behave in marriage?

98. Who will do the household chores in the marriage?

99. Does your partner enjoy doing certain household chores?

100. How can you best split the household chores in the marriage?

101. Is your partner a people person?

102. Do you think your partner has social anxiety?

103. Do you get the feeling that your partner has issues he or she hasn’t yet shared with you?

104. Do you feel that you make a strong couple?

105. Does she want a big or small wedding?

106. Who will pay for your wedding?

107. Which family member will walk her down the aisle?

108. What is most important to your partner in life?

109. What is the least important thing to your partner in life?

110. Do you or your partner envy the relationships of other couples?

111. Do you feel that there are many things you don’t know about your partner before getting married?

Sex Life

sex Life

You may or may not have already had sex with your partner, so you probably do not know whether you are sexually compatible. If you are unsure if you are sexually compatible, you may want to have a discussion about your future sex life. At least iron out the details. How much sex does he expect in a marriage? Is that a match for your sex drive? Talk this over with your mate!

112. How does he or she feel about your sex life?

113. How often do you have sex?

114. Does he or she want more experimental sex?

115. How often does he or she expect a husband and wife to have sex?

116. Do you both like to try new things in the bedroom?

Childhood And Past

childhood and past

While you don’t have to bring up the past if your partner is a private person, it can help you learn more about him or her. It’s also a good conversation starter to determine whether it’s the right time to bring up some of the other questions presented in this blog post. Sometimes, you just need a place to start so that you can feel comfortable bringing up the hard stuff.

You might learn that your future spouse had a childhood trauma happen to him or her, and that affects him or her in a big way on a daily basis. Maybe he or she needs to be on anti-anxiety medication because of it. This is all-important stuff to learn about before you say those two little words – “I Do!” Find out as much as possible without making them uncomfortable.

117. Where did your partner grow up?

118. Where did your partner go to college?

119. How many degrees does your partner have?

120. How do you feel about education?

121. Have you shared your educational history with your partner?

122. Does your partner like to talk about his or her past?

123. What does he or she think about his or her childhood?

124. Are there any emotional scars from his or her past?

125. Did they play sports as a kid?

126. Did they play any musical instruments as a child?

127. Do they still want to play sports as an adult?

128. Would they like to play a musical instrument as an adult?

Career And Money

career and money

Money is actually one of the main causes of divorce. Many couples just cannot get their finances together to determine who will be doing what and how they will spend their hard-earned cash. Do you budget regularly now? What are your spending habits? Maybe you should write all this out on paper and talk it over with your fiance.

Also, determine how your partner feels about charitable contributions. Is he or she big into giving a good portion of his or her paycheck to charities or those who are less fortunate? It’s a good idea to figure this out and match your preferences as closely as possible or determine a compromise to your differences that will make things even out.

129. How focused is your partner on his or her career goals?

130. Is your partner happy with his or her career?

131. Does your career match his or her values?

132. Does his or her career match your values?

133. Does he or she believe in saving most of his or her earned money?

134. Who will handle the financial responsibilities in your relationship?

135. Do you think he or she is financially responsible?

136. How does he or she handle money?

137. Does he or she spend money frequently?

138. Have you seen many examples of your partner being irresponsible with money?

139. How much does your partner care about money?

140. Do you both want to save up for vacations?

141. What is your retirement plan?

142. Do you think your partner is good with money?

143. Is your partner a workaholic?

144. Do you think your partner works too much?

145. Does he or she have issues with his or her job?

146. What does he or she love most about his or her job?

147. Does he or she change jobs a lot?

148. Has your partner had many jobs in the past?

149. How many jobs has your partner had in the past?

150. Why did he or she get terminated from previous jobs?

151. Does your partner have issues with authority figures?

152. Does your partner think your children should work as teenagers?

153. At what age does your partner think your children should start working?

154. Will you be saving for the education of your future children?

155. Does your partner get child support from an ex-husband or ex-wife for his or her children?

156. How do your partner’s children act when it comes to money?

157. How many times has he or she been fired from jobs for bad work conduct?

Communication

communication

I’m a talker, so for this reason, I never thought much of the fact that my boyfriend was a bit on the quiet side, but when you get married and go on a road trip with a shy guy, you will notice a big problem – he doesn’t want to talk! Being compatible in communication styles is important in a relationship, so figure this one out before you talk about getting married.

158. Does your partner like to talk?

159. Do you have honest and open communication?

160. Do you enjoy talking to your partner?

161. How does he or she handle conflict?

162. Is your partner a good listener?

163. As a couple, do you have strong communication?

164. What are his communication skills like?

165. How do they match with yours?

166. How often does he talk to his family?

167. Do you want to have family meetings in the future?

168. What kinds of things do you enjoy talking about?

169. How often do the two of you just talk as a couple?

170. How important is talking to your partner?

171. Does your partner have issues when it comes to talking on the phone?

172. How often do you expect your partner to text you?

173. How often do you need your partner to call you?

174. How long are your conversations?

175. Is there a lot of silence in your conversations?

176. Do you know what questions to ask each other when talking?

177. How important is social media to your partner?

178. How much do you value social media?

179. Do you chat much with your friends and family members?

180. Does your partner know which questions to ask when you have had a bad day?

181. Does he or she know what questions to ask when you are having anxiety or stress?

182. What about when you are sad or depressed?

183. Does your partner have a problem with you getting on chat rooms?

184. Does your partner like to share his secrets with you?

185. Does he or she seem to keep a lot of things bottled up inside?

186. Is your partner a quiet, private person?

187. How much time does your partner spend on social media?

188. Do you have a problem with how much time your partner spends on social media?

189. Do you love talking for hours with your fiance?

Conflict Resolution

conflict resolution

One of the most important things in a marriage is conflict resolution. It’s never a good idea to go to bed angry, so you need to know what your conflict resolution style is and what your partner’s is, as well. This way, when you argue or have a disagreement, you’ll know exactly what to do or say to make sure your partner feels heard and listened to.

190. What does your partner do when you have conflict in your relationship?

191. Does your partner withdraw when conflict arises?

192. Has your partner ever had a relationship end because of conflict, disagreements, or other trials, and do you foresee any problems repeating in your relationship?

193. Have you ever had issues with conflict?

194. Do you work together when there is conflict in the relationship?

195. Does your partner enjoy conflict resolution, or is he or she argumentative?

196. Does your partner like to debate serious issues?

Past Relationships

past relationships

Some people do not like to talk about the past when it comes to their dating life. I think it’s important to understand why your partner didn’t make it work with his exes so that you can see if those same issues will come up in your relationship or marriage when the time comes. If you see a pattern with his exes, watch that red flag to determine if that will happen to you.

I once dated a guy for almost a month before I asked him about his past. I thought we were madly in love and that he was the guy for me, but I later found out he had dated hundreds of women and couldn’t make it work with any of them, which made me curious as to why that happened. I later found out he was previously married, something I should have asked sooner.

Anyway, I found out he had only been single a few months since his divorce. He only dated her a few months before marriage, and they were only married for three months! That was a huge red flag for me! He didn’t even have a good excuse for the divorce, saying that he started talking to some girl and she said he was cheating on her! That guy was nuts! See if there’s a pattern!

197. What were your past relationships like?

198. Did you ever get married on a whim?

199. Has your partner ever been married?

200. What ended his or her last relationship?

201. What reasons can he or she justify ending a marriage?

202. Do you think he or she will end your relationship for a specific reason?

203. What is that specific reason?

204. Would your relationship be over if your partner did something in particular?

205. What is that thing?

Health And Wellness

health and wellness

If you plan on being with your man or woman for the rest of your life, understanding their health and wellness preferences is critical. Will they take care of you one day if you get sick? What kind of foods do they prefer to eat, and are they on a special diet? All of this will affect your life as well, so you need to know these details. If you marry a vegan, you’d better be ready for it!

If your true love is a health nut, you may have to turn into one, too, just to make the relationship work. Consider all the things that are important to him or her. Do they need to go to the gym on a regular basis? Will you miss them while they are gone, or will you join them and become a health nut as well? All of these details are crucial to learning before marriage.

206. Does your partner like to eat healthily?

207. Who will cook and bake in the relationship?

208. Who will do the grocery shopping?

209. Do you like the same kinds of food?

210 How often does your partner exercise?

211. When does your partner like to hit the gym?

212. Is exercise very important to your partner?

213. Does he or she have any health problems, and how do you feel about that?

214. Can you talk care of your partner if he or she gets sick?

215. Do you love talking about health issues?

216. Are there any medical problems you need answers to in your relationship?

217. Can you talk to a medical professional about these problems to find the right answers?

218. What is your plan for when you become elderly or sick one day?

219. How important is health and wellness to your partner?

220. How will your health and wellness concerns affect your marriage?

221. How will his or her health and wellness concerns affect your marriage?

222. Are you able to talk about your health and wellness goals?

223. Do you know the right health and wellness questions to ask your partner before marriage?

224. How much does your partner spend on a gym membership?

225. How do you feel about exercising and gym memberships?

226. What kind of outstanding medical bills does your partner have?

227. Is your partner on any medications?

228. What are they for?

229. Do you have any problems with your partner’s medical problems?

Appearance

appearance

This section may not be all that important to you, but it depends on your take on appearance. If you are a “pretty boy” who enjoys taking care of yourself and wants to look your best at all times, you’ll want to be with a girl who takes care of herself. People often let their appearance go when they get married, so understand who your partner really is before marriage.

230. How concerned is your partner with his or her appearance?

231. How concerned is he or she with your appearance?

232. Does he or she spend a lot of time in front of the mirror?

233. How often does he or she shower?

234. Are you okay with his or her hygiene?

235. Do you like the length of your partner’s hair?

236. Are you proud of your partner’s appearance?

237. Is your partner proud of your appearance?

Friends And Pets

friends and Pets

Knowing how your partner feels about pets and friends is very important because these things will take up his or her time. If he is a cat person, you may learn to love cats because he may already own one! You can’t usually talk him into ditching the cat because you like dogs better. That cat is part of the family already! It’s just something that comes with him.

You typically can’t change that, and the same holds true for friends! If you hate your partner’s friends, you may have to make some adjustments in your schedule or routine to accommodate his guys’ night. If they like to come over and drink beer, watching your television, it might be smart to head to the library or local coffee shop on those nights!

238. How much time does your partner spend with his or her friends?

239. Will this change once you are in a marriage?

240. Do you get along with his or her friends?

241. Do his or her friends like you?

242. How do you feel about the amount of time he or she needs to spend with his or her friends?

243. Do you have many friends that are couples?

244. How often will you hang out with other couples once you are in a marriage?

245. What will you do with other couples?

246. Does your partner have any pets?

247. Are you allergic to cats or dogs?

248. Do you want to buy a pet together once you are in a marriage?

249. How much time do you want to spend with pets?

250. Who will care for your pets?

251. Do you want to have pets?

252. Will you have a fish tank?

Religion And Politics

religion and Politics

This is another big cause of “irreconcilable differences” – a reason many people get divorced. If you have vast differences in these areas, you should have a heart-to-heart talk about what you are going to do once you are married. How will you adjust your lifestyle to accommodate your partner’s? Should you talk to a counselor to work through these differences? Smart idea!

253. Is your partner religious?

254. How strong is his or her faith?

255. Will he or she go to church with you?

256. Do you accept his or her spiritual beliefs?

257. Will you pray together as a couple?

258. Will you hang out with other Christian couples?

259. Do you want to read the Bible together?

260. Does your partner read the Bible?

261. Do you read the Bible?

262. Do your religious beliefs clash?

263. How will you handle your differences?

264. Where does he or she go to church?

265. Where do you go to church?

266. Can you find a church you will both be happy at?

267. Do you both believe in God?

268. What are the political beliefs of your partner?

269. What are your political beliefs?

270. Does your partner vote?

271. Do you and your partner vote the same way?

272. How does he or she feel about voting?

273. Can you get past any political differences?

274. Do you have any strong political beliefs?

Marital Expectations

marital expectations

This is often an overlooked topic, but it’s very important once you actually get married. You’ll want to know what your partner thinks you should be doing as a wife or husband. Do they have specific expectations that you cannot meet? Will they change over time? I can’t answer the first question since it depends on the person, but the last question is a big YES!

Marital preferences and what your partner expects of you will change over time. You may find that your partner wants a traditional marriage where the wife stays home and cooks and cleans. If that doesn’t sound like something you would be interested in doing for the rest of your life, you may want to talk to your partner to see if you are truly a good fit for one another.

Also, be sure to analyze what you expect in a spouse. Does your partner measure up? Will he or she be able to do the things you want a partner to do in a marriage? It’s critical that you determine whether you are being realistic as well. If you have unrealistic goals for your partner, you are setting your marriage up for failure, which is not a good start for your relationship!

275. How does your partner feel about your relationship?

276. What does your partner think about marital expectations?

277. Does your partner want to have a traditional marriage?

278. Does your partner expect you to wait on him?

279. What are your marital expectations?

280. Do you want a traditional marriage?

281. Why or why not?

282. Have you talked about what kind of marriage you want?

283. Do you think a man should do some of the household chores?

284. Do you think a woman should do all of the cleanings in the home?

285. Do you believe a wife should stay home with the kids?

286. What does your partner believe about who should do which chores?

287. Have you talked about this issue?

288. Does your partner want you to stay home with the kids?

289. Do you have the same marital expectations?

290. Who will wash the dishes when you are married?

291. Who will mow the lawn in your marriage?

292. Who will do the cooking in your relationship?

293. Who will do the laundry in your marriage?

294. Who will babysit the children?

295. Who will take care of the vehicles in the marriage?

296. Which one of you will make your bed every morning?

297. Will you sleep in the same bed?

298. Who will do the cleaning in the house?

299. Do you have the same cleaning standards?

300. Where do you see there being problems in your marriage?

301. Where do you think you might disagree with marriage?

FAQs

What are the questions to be asked to a boy before marriage?

There are certain questions to ask before getting married because you will want to make sure your beliefs and values are aligned so that you can get along once you get married. Find out what his passions, hobbies, interests, and beliefs are before marriage so that you will find success!

What should I talk to a boy about before marriage?

The following questions to ask before marriage may help you. Do you want to have children? How will we raise our children? What is your family like? What are your expectations for our sex life once we get married? How does your family feel about our relationship?

How can I impress my fiance before marriage?

If you know what your values and beliefs are in regards to things such as family, children, and your future sex life, you will impress your fiance because you are self-aware. If you know the right questions to ask before getting married, that will also impress your man!

How do I talk to my fiance before marriage on the phone?

It’s pretty simple, really; just know what questions to ask before getting married. Ask him if he’s willing to listen to the questions you want to ask before getting married and fire away! Many couples just jump into marriage because of love but it’s smart to ask questions first.

What are good questions to ask a guy you like?

Find out about his past relationships. What was his sex life like? What are his expectations for marriage? Does he want to have children? Do his values align with yours? If you know what questions to ask before getting married, you will know if you are compatible.

Summary

What did you think of my set of questions to ask before marriage? Are there any questions to ask before marriage that you could add to my set of questions? Are you getting married soon and wondering what questions to ask your fiance before marriage? Please comment, and share!

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