Finding the “one” is no easy task, especially when it feels like the dating world is full of more “beast” than prince-charming. The truth is, no one has it all or permits me to say, it’s not every day you get to see someone who has all the qualities you may desire. While there might seem to be some kind of trade-off in the qualities people want, the ideal spouse would have at least the necessary traits for it not to be a deal-breaker.
Therefore, it’s not uncommon to hear women say, “I want a good man.” That’s because the phrase “good man” is a combination of many other fantastic qualities that women find attractive. While this list is not exhaustive, it will, no doubt, give you a good idea of what to look out for so that you can easily separate the beasts from your prince-charming in your search for a good man.
- 1 Qualities Of A Good Man – Top Personality Traits
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
Qualities Of A Good Man – Top Personality Traits
1. He Has A Good Sense Of Humor
When it comes to the quality of a good person, a good sense of humor is vital; in fact, this isn’t one of those qualities you would like to trade with. Finding a man that you can regularly laugh with is crucial. Right from the dating phase, a good sense of humor is sometimes a measure of good chemistry with men.
More so, when multiple dates and casual outings end up as dull with no common ground to have a good laugh with each other, it’ll probably take more to keep the relationship going. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t have to be a Kevin Hart; even if no one laughs at his jokes, as long as they light and crack you up, it’s all good.
2. He Supports Your Career
In this era of political correctness and clamor for gender equality, it’s not uncommon to still find men who naturally assume it’s the women who should quit her job when there’s a need for a trade-off between raising the kids and career. In fact, research shows that 66.7% of women who quit their jobs for reasons ranging from relocation to raising kids were influenced by their man.
While women may be the best option for kids in many scenarios because women are usually excellent home keepers than men, this isn’t always the case. Therefore, finding a man that will be willing to compromise and support your career development by adjusting his own schedule to take care of the kids is definitely a keeper.
3. A Good Man Pays Attention To You
Still on the topic of what women want in a man; even more than the quality of being well-spoken, a good man must check the box of an effective listener. Men are known to display selective hearing.
Take it from me, this is a known fact about men. You’ll find it funny that a good number of male psychologists trained to listen to people’s problems also find it surprisingly difficult to put their professional listening-mode on in their own relationship.
Men sometimes think they are strong hence, they should be able to pull off something as simple as paying attention – while doing something else at the same time. The simple misconception is that listening requires little effort. It actually takes a stronger man to pay total attention to you without thinking about the board meeting he’s got by 9 am the next morning.
No doubt, you’d be part of the luckiest women in the world if you’ve got yourself a man that pays 100% attention every time to what you are saying, digest it, and remember it well enough to discuss with you on another day.
This is a crucial one because It can be viewed from different angles. Stability can be anchored under emotional, financial, and/or career. I think it might be safe to say women want a man they can plan tomorrow with, unless you are in for a short ride. However, if you desire a couple of kids, and want to grow old and grey with your man, then a good man is one that can be counted on to be stable in his dealings so that future planning can be possible.
Trust me, you don’t want a man that claims he’s in love with you now but later, he wouldn’t mind being in an open relationship. Women want a man who won’t freak out and suddenly change long term goals because of short term development.
5. Sees You As Equal
If you have ever been in a relationship with a guy and you felt silenced or less than human without being physically abused, then it’s clear you are not being treated as equal. Gone are the days when women were seen as unequal to men. Thank goodness, times have really changed. However, it’s not uncommon to still find men who were raised in homes where the father played a next-to-lord role. Likewise, they feel the need to be just as authoritarian when in a relationship.
Truthfully, a guy that will see and treat you as his equal won’t naturally assume it’s your role to cook, do the dishes on an eat-at-home dinner date. When you do go out on a date, he won’t see it as a slap on his male ego to share the bill or for you to pay the entire bill. In summary, a good man will be willing to share the spotlight and the position of authority with you without feeling awkward or uncomfortable about it.
6. Always Ready To Make It Work
Well, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of love at first sight and living happily ever after. However, you’ll also agree that we are in the age of evidence, facts, and figures. Research has revealed that relationships that succeeded the most didn’t thrive simply on the template of compatibility. Rather, they succeeded because both parties were willing to put in the work to make it last.
Evidence from many couples’ cases has revealed that the excitement that was present at the start of most relationships hardly ever remains forever but this has not prevented the continuity of many unions. This means, remaining in love is partly a feeling and a decision especially in successful marriages. And if your man understands this, trust me he’s a keeper. You won’t find such men running around to get the supposed next best thing. In fact, these types of men are usually committed to making their union work out fine.
I don’t think this point can be overstated. It’s one of the recipes for a perfect union, that’s if there’s any union with the perfect-tag. While it’s not every day you see a man that has the same point of view as you, If you are lucky enough to get such a man, there’s a high chance for whatever you have going to succeed compared with a couple who see most things differently.
Sharing values mean you both will probably have the same approach to lots of things e.g entertainment, social engagement, unwinding, tackling problems, foods, etc. And while it might not be possible to get a guy who will share the same values with you on everything, if he does check a few boxes, then you might need to hold on to him.
8. He’s Compassionate
To express compassion means to put yourself in the shoes of others in order to feel their pain. On top of this, you will be able to lend strength and shoulders to them in times of pain so that they can stay above water. Take it from me, this is a rarity among the good qualities in a man. While it’s easy to show compassion once or twice to strangers, being able to display compassion with consistency and without chickening-out under pressure is rarer.
You’d easily agree that things can get hard as time goes by. Sadly, with some scenarios like sickness, the hardship could remain for a longer period. No doubt, having a compassionate guy can go a long way in weathering the storms of life. If you have a man that checks out well in the department of compassion, you might want to hold him.
9. He Is Smart
Being smart doesn’t necessarily mean your man has to be an “Einstein” or capable of solving rocket science and advanced engineering maths. However, it does suggest that he should have an appreciable level of IQ and EQ ( Intelligent quotient & emotional quotient). Recent research reveals that men that are a lot smarter are less prone to infidelity, more likely to walk down the aisle and stay faithful. Such men were observed to be less superficial and, as such, less likely to turn to other women as a means of short-lived happiness or excitement.
However, some women see dating a man that might be too brainy as a deal-breaker. This is because they probably think relating to such men might look like “operating in different frequencies.” However, the key is choosing a man with a balanced IQ and EQ. Knowing that you may have a man who is more likely to remain faithful will save you some stress.
10. He’s Kind
This is where chivalry comes in. Even if you are clamoring for gender equality as lots of women do, you’ll easily admit it’s not a sign of weakness to enjoy a little chivalry from your man. While it’s a nice gesture for your spouse to treat you like a queen, a good man will also extend his kind nature to everyone around as much as possible. I don’t think it’ll sit well with you if you man is rude to others or worse, mean towards children or even animals but amazingly kind to you.
That’s like running a script of good qualities. Good men that are indeed good do not need to act, it should come naturally like an intrinsic nature. This can be a good way to know if he’s just pretending to be kind in order to win you over for himself. For him to truly check the box of kindness, he must consistently extend kindness to everyone around him as much as he can..
One of the major reasons for getting married is companionship. He must be willing and be able to make you happy. Also, because marriage isn’t a bed of roses, there are times it comes with some stormy episodes. He must be compassionate enough to share your pain and lend you a shoulder to lean on.
While success and wealth is often used as a quick yardstick to define some great, being great is so much more. In a quick summary, believing in oneself when others doubt one’s dream, standing firm without losing integrity in the face of temptation and leading fearlessly in the face of strong criticism.
The qualities of a good person always impact others around him. He or she must be a kind and compassionate person. i.e a person capable of putting himself or herself in other peoples’ discomfort and offers help to ease their pain even when it’s not convenient.
For a person to be considered a life partner, he must first be reliable enough to plan the future with. Reliable emotionally, in career and financially. This must then be accompanied by compassion and ability to put in the work rather than running off to get the supposed next next woman.
There’s no quick answer to this question. In summary, a good man should be a good listener, treat the woman in his life as his equal. Good men are not expected to be perfect but should be kind and compassionate enough to ease the pain and stress that sometimes come with life when two people are together.
Hey, I hope you enjoyed the article. While it’s not an exhaustive list of what a lady wants in a man, the few points mentioned are some of the very many characters which you can look out for if you are on the hunt for a good man. Like I said earlier, there might be room for trade-off.
So, if your man doesn’t check all the boxes, it doesn’t mean you have to let him go. There will be some you can live with and some that are deal-breakers. Do well to balance them as you choose your ideal man. We’d like to know what you think in the comment section and if you like the article, please share.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.