Priorities In Marriage (11 Important Priorities In Marriage)

If a relationship is between two people who love each other, why do they need to get married to validate the importance of their relationship? While a fraction of the world’s population will never marry for various reasons, including disregard for the marriage institution, more people will continue to enter this most binding kind of relationship. 

Marriage is a different ballgame from temporary or undefined relationships. Hence, the reason why a married couple needs to consider priorities to have a happy marriage. Priorities in marriages do not follow a particular blueprint because different couples place importance on different things. 

What you and your husband perceive as a top priority can be the least thing other couples prioritize. The fact that you value seemingly big things doesn’t mean the simple things other people rate important in their relationship are less significant. The little things you do for each other in your relationship might be the most important things keeping your marriage intact. 

The mistake many couples make is, that once they proceed from courtship to marriage, they become different persons. Sometimes, the switch in belief systems isn’t your fault, it’s what other people told you marriage should look like. Fortunately and unfortunately, all marriages do not follow the same protocol. 

It can be unfortunate because you’ve probably been following other people’s processes for what works and doesn’t work. It is fortunate because you can still create a different yet workable system for a happy relationship, even in marriage.

That said, have you and your husband been having trouble identifying what to tag priorities in a marriage? Has your belief system been clashing with that of your husband? This article might help you as it will explain 11 things you should consider priorities in marriage. 

Although this is a general set of principles, it will help you build a good template to run your marriage and relationship. 

11 Priorities In Marriage

1. Each other

Marriage is the coming together of two people bound by a deliberate commitment to each other. There is so much to each person that you cannot just pick one thing that fascinates you about them. Similarly, there is so much you love about your husband, children, and other family members. 

When you start a family, you’d need to distribute your attention to different quarters. However, you should always make your husband a top priority. Without him, there will be no marriage between both of you. Without your partner, your children will either be nonexistent or will be existing through another man. 

There was a reason you chose this man as your husband and father of your children. It doesn’t matter how you’re constantly busy running your family and personal interests, your partner should be your top priority. 

Prioritize taking care of him, listening to him, and loving him regardless of everything else going on. When he does the same, you’ll have a marriage others want to emulate.

2. Time spent together

Following the importance of prioritizing each other, spending time with your spouse is another priority you shouldn’t discard. Marriage introduces so many responsibilities that keep you busy. However, your hardworking efforts towards giving your children and family the best shouldn’t deny you the quality time you should spend with your spouse. 

Create time for family time with your children and husband. Block out a particular period to be with your spouse alone. Having uninterrupted moments with your spouse is a worthy endeavor. You get to create memories that remind you of what a beautiful relationship you have with him.

On days when things get overwhelming, these memories will remind you of the unconditional love and bond you share with your husband. That reminder will give you the momentum to keep giving your best.

3. Gratitude

Gratitude is one principle that many people don’t practice because they are ignorant of its effectiveness. Gratitude is a powerful tool that will help your marriage continue on a consistently happy note. Gratitude doesn’t apply only in situations where something major happens. You should be grateful for the little things you and your spouse have been able to achieve so far. 

Celebrate your failures in business, raising children, and loving each other. Failures that helped you understand how to love yourself and serve your loved ones better. You can make gratitude a top priority by instilling in your children the habit of listing things they are grateful for every day. This way, you and your partner will not forget to do what you’re mainly your kids do.

Above all, the ultimate purpose of gratitude is that it helps you focus on the good things rather than the things going wrong. Positive energy fuels creative solutions to your existing problems.

4. Clear communication

You must have heard over and again that communication is a key factor in relationships. Not to sound like a broken record, but the fact remains that you need to make communication a priority in your marriage. Without sound communication and understanding of what has been communicated, there will always be misunderstandings. 

When you prioritize communication, you and your spouse will get things done at the right time. You will even get to the level of silent understanding whereby you don’t have to say much for your spouse to understand you and vice versa. 

If you had set a great communication background during courtship, your spouse will not need to berate you because you didn’t cook dinner three days in a row. 

If you thought beyond the wedding day and discussed important topics, he would understand why you have a sex drive just after childbirth. Even a few years into the marriage when it seems like one partner’s energy has reduced, the other person will be able to pick up the slack. Constant and clear communication will avert so many things that could go wrong or worsen.

5. Mutual respect

mutual respect

You’d be surprised by the number of people who enter marriage with partners they don’t respect enough. Sometimes, one of the couples respects the other person while the feeling isn’t reciprocated. What happens when there is no mutual respect between a couple bound by lifelong marriage vows?

Resentment, insecurity, low self-esteem, and feelings of worthlessness will flow between the couple. If they have kids together, the kids will pick up on the animosity and negativity flying in the marriage. 

This bad vibe is what influences some kids to say they will never marry. Although they don’t understand what they’re saying, they’ve formed an early negative opinion of what marriage is all about.

One way to maintain mutual respect in your marriage is to constantly practice self-awareness. Are you still treating your partner the same way you did when the relationship first started? How can you continue to make each other feel respected even when you disagree on certain issues? Deliberate checks and balances will help you maintain a healthy relationship.

6. Dedication to each other’s goals

Many people are always quick to say they are dedicated to their spouses and families. However, dedication doesn’t occur in a vacuum. Dedication is defined by the number of sacrifices you can make so your spouse is happy and fulfilled.

Are you as invested in your partner’s dreams and goals the same way you’re dedicated to yours? Are you not the type of partner who forces her husband’s focus on her ambitions, while his dreams go down the drain? 

Does your partner also prioritize your goals the same way you focus on his ambitions? Mutual dedication will rid your marriage of unnecessary resentment. Contentment will be a constant feeling strengthening the bond both of you share.

7. Unshakable trust

In a world where betrayal among loved ones has become normal, your marriage can stand out. We like to make it look like utmost trust isn’t possible, and that might be true. However, to have a successful marriage, you might need to have an almost blind trust in your partner. 

This way, you can handle any accusation against him with a “not guilty until there’s evidence” approach. Unshakable trust is another word for an unconditional love that’s willing to forgive your partner over and again. It is not easy, but you’re both humans bound to make mistakes from time to time.

8. Shared values

Going into marriage with someone you don’t share any values with is reckless. You can liken the situation to a friendship between two blind and deaf people. Neither of you will understand each other, and you’ll constantly have axes to grind.

Even if your relationship was based on just physical attraction, it is important to build core values before entering a committed relationship. Prioritizing shared values will give both of you a reason to spend time together. Couples who don’t have shared values are the type who fill their time with meaningless hangouts with friends when they should be with their spouses.

9. Unbiased distribution of responsibilities

Another thing you should consider a priority is sharing responsibilities. If you choose to follow biased stereotypes concerning house chores, child-rearing, financial obligations, and others, you will have an unhappy marriage. As couples, you’re equals, regardless of your strengths and weaknesses. 

You may share roles and duties according to physical strengths. However, there are so many things you shouldn’t leave your partner to do alone. For example, you shouldn’t be the only one parenting your kids. Your partner shouldn’t be the only one bringing in money or taking out the trash. All these things add up eventually to create problems for both of you in the future.

10. Prompt settling of disputes

prompt settling of disputes

There will be disputes, no doubt about it. However, make it a priority to settle your disagreements before they become full-blown issues. Those issues you consider little can blow up in your face if you don’t address them immediately. 

If possible, settle your disputes before both of you sleep. If it is the kind of issue you should sleep on, wake up the next morning to clear the air before you start a new day. There’s no reward for whoever can hold a grudge for the longest time.

11. Friendship

If you started your relationship as friends, you would value it all the more. Friends to lovers tales usually take the longest time to tell because both parties feared ruining their beautiful friendship. This is why marriage between friends tends to last longer than infatuated couples.

Whether or not your relationship is an offshoot of your friendship, you should make it a priority to have your spouse as your best friend. The kind of friend you’re not ashamed to have fun or do silly things with. The friend you can confide in, and the one your spouse can rely on at any time. 

FAQs

What are the 3 most important things in a marriage?

A deep respect for your partner, a clear communication pattern that doesn’t fail, and shared interests to keep your marriage going on an active and positive momentum.

Should your spouse be your first priority?

Yes, your spouse should be your priority because everything you’ll do in the marriage, you have to do with your partner. Not making your spouse your priority is you saying you can do everything on your own. 

What does it mean to make your marriage a priority?

Making your marriage your priority means you’ll do everything in your power to make your spouse and kids happy.

How should a husband treat his wife?

A husband should be kind, loving, respectful, and mindful of his wife. A woman thrives under good nurturing. She gives back based on how she’s treated by her spouse.

Who comes first in a man's life?

If he has a wife or is in a committed relationship, his wife/girlfriend comes first, then his children, followed by his extended family. If he is single, his parents and siblings come first.

Summary

Priorities in marriage should be a topic couples have at the dating stage. Once you’re aware of what both of you consider a priority, you’ll be able to know where to adjust. The tips in this article should help whether you’re married or still dating.

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